Chapter 125 - Yours Always Aarna
Meanwhile, Aarna walked through the long streets, the wind wiped her hair into the air as she walked forward. Her heart was in chaos and she had just stopped herself from bursting into tears when she was speaking with April.
She was grateful for the emotional talk they had and now she knew what she needed to do. She was heading towards Zane's office to speak with him. She didn't want to live in limbo anymore; she wanted all or nothing. She was a strong and independent woman and has lived alone for many years but when she fell in love she fell hard.
She knew where he stood in her heart and future but she wanted to know where he put her in his heart and future. He was a top surgeon and he had a lot of responsibilities in the hospital. She of course understood that but it wasn't much to ask for a text message if he wasn't able to pick her up.
She was understanding that his patience came first but a text message to say he was busy would only take a few seconds. This wasn't the first time he had left her waiting for him, the last time was at a restaurant and she had waited for over two hours for him.
She had drunk a full bottle of white wine as she had waited for him to arrive. She drank away her sadness and her embarrassment. People around her had made remarks about her being stood up and the waiter had asked her to leave if she wasn't eating. She left and staggered into a taxi and got herself home.
As she arrived home she fell asleep, her face covered in tears and messed up mascara. The next morning she was awoken by a knock on the door. As she cursed the noise she slid off the sofa and made her way to the door, fixing her hair and pulling her dress down as she slowly opened the door.
On the other side was Zane, she was taken aback by his arrival and last night's experience came back into her memories. She left the door open as she walked away from his blinding smile. He followed her into the house with what was breakfast for two and two coffees. She had ignored him and went straight into the bathroom to wash up before she returned to the living room where he waited for her.
After she sat down he explained he had had to attend an emergency surgery and they had had breakfast together. Her heart had eased as he had explained what had happened. They spent the rest of the day together and he had promised if any of this were to happen again he would, of course, remember to text her.
In total this was the fourth time he had failed to show up for her, she loved him but she needed to feel the same from him for them to continue. She deserved to be shown respect and care as she had shown him.
She processed their relationship and then she looked up, she had walked to his hospital before she had known she was there. Staring up at the tall white building she steeled her heart and moved forward into the front reception.
The hospital was busy and there were many patients, nurses and doctors walking around. She knew where her office was and took the lift to the top floor. She felt anxious and her heart pounded against her chest.
She valued everything around her because she knew that in time it would all be gone just like everything else in her life, nothing ever seemed to stay. What gave her courage was April, her new friend that she felt she could not only rely on but turn to if she needed to.
The lift door opened and she walked out with her head up as she approached the reception desk that sat opposite Zane's office doors. The young man behind the desk smiled up at her, his name was Arlo and they had met before.
"Hi, Arlo is Zane in?" Aarna asked.
Arlo looked at the door then at Aarna he didn't speak. Aarna then said, "Is he busy with a patient?"
Arlo then nodded, "Yes that's it… I'm sorry."
Arlo did look very sorry and he looked away quickly returning his eyes to his computer.
Aarna had expected to see Zane but knowing that she couldn't and she still wanted to say what she came here to say she asked Arlo, "Arlo can I please borrow a pen, paper and an envelope?"
"Yes of course." Arlo quickly handed her the three items as he kept glancing at the door.
Aarna felt sick to her stomach, was he refusing to see her? If so, why? She held the items and walked to the coffee table and sofa. As she sat down she glanced at the door one last time before she started to write a letter to Zane. She came here to get something off her chest and she didn't want to leave without doing so.
My Dearest Zane,
I haven't exactly figured out how to say this but you're a really great guy and I don't think we should continue whatever this is we are doing. I know what I want and what I am looking for in my future and although I would love it to be you. I don't want to put words in your mouth but I don't think you know what it is you want yet.
I just can't mess around waiting for someone who isn't sure of us, of me. I'm not writing this to put pressure on you or ask you to define us. I just feel neither of us should waste each other's time and don't get me wrong, all the time we have spent together was amazing and fun. The sex was mind blowing but I just dont think we should continue whatever this is if it isn't going anywhere or if one of us is unsure of the other.
But if you ever do find yourself wanting to come back to me, don't wait, not even a day or a second. If we are meant to be then we will be and if not, I won't be upset. I trust that you are going to do what is best for you. I just want you to be happy and feel the love you deserve.
Yours Always, Aarna
As she finished the letter she felt weak, her heart and mind raced. She put the letter in the envelope with a shaky hand and sealed it before standing and walking to Arlo's desk.
She managed a weak, "Can you please give this to Zane when he is available please."
Arlo nodded and she handed the letter to him. She felt a lump in her throat, knowing the tears would fall again she glanced at the closed office door one last time before she walked out.
She held her phone in her hand for support and she phoned April as she entered the lift.
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