Chapter 50
In the six months we spent in New York, AhJung learned a lot. She spent day and night with her English textbook while attending a language school. In a mere two months, she was able to carry full conversations. In addition to learning English, she also took swimming and dance classes. The instructors were not Korean, so she had to use her wits and body language to figure out what was going on. That in itself helped increase her English skills.
Na AhJung and I also spent many nights attending Broadway shows. With my busy class schedule, these were the only times I was able to relax and spend some much deserved time with my wife. She watched each show as if it were a teacher, writing in detail about each one in her diary.
If Na AhJung’s life had been a stagnant lake before, she had now become a river that broke out toward the sea. Convinced of her growth, I readied myself to support her sea. As I prepared my dissertation, I participated actively in the comic play script. I invested in stocks to prepare the funds to support the play.
When I graduated and we returned to Korea, our play was done and ready to start rehearsal. From that point, a year had passed. Na AhJung was getting ready for her last show. I was standing in our apartment kitchen with an apron around my waist, frying jeon.
“You should have just hired a caterer.” My brother stood beside me nagging. “Food for the memorial takes a lot of time. How do you expect to do that all by yourself?”
“It’s my mother-in-law’s memorial, I can’t have someone else do it,” I said. “I have to do it myself.”
“You’re such a brown noser,” my brother said. “Is there anything I can help you with”
“No. I’m almost done,” I replied. “I just have to finish this. Oh, can you set the table in the living room. It’s almost time for my AhJung to arrive. I should start getting everything ready.”
At my request, my brother went to the living room. I removed the golden jeon from the frying pan and neatly arranged it on a plate. As I stacked them making sure that they were lined up straight, my brother returned.
“It’s a shame that the play’s last day coincides with our mother-in-law’s memorial day,” he said. “They usually have a party on the last day. AhJung will be the only one unable to attend.”
“The party is tomorrow,” I replied.
“Oh, really? That’s fortunate,” he said. “They usually hold it the same day as the end of the season.”
“The reason this even became an issue was because the play got extended for an additional month. I think it’s reasonable that they make an exception,” I said as I took the plate with the jeon out to the living room.
“I guess for those who have luck, everything seems to work out for them,” my brother said as he followed me. “After seeing how popular that play became, our mother’s dreams are starting to swell. She’s saying you can save our dying entertainment brand.”
I placed the plate of food on the table and answered chicly, “If my AhJung wants to, then I will.”
“And, if your AhJung says to not go through with it?” he asked.
“Then I won’t. So, if you want me to be in charge of that department, you need to get my AhJung’s permission first,” I said as I headed back to the kitchen.
My brother followed me, pointing at my black hair. “I heard you needed to get your wife’s permission before dying your hair back to that color. Now you need permission even for work related things? What are you, her slave?”
“I have to do this so our mother won’t disrespect my AhJung,” I answered as I lifted the altar.
My brother helped me lift the other side and we moved it to the living room.
“Our mother disrespected AhJung,” he said. “She’s so afraid that our family line will end that she’s doing her best to take care of AhJung.”
“You didn’t know, but our mother knew you were gay,” I said.
“That’s true, but what does that have to do with anything?” he asked.
After setting the altar, I lightly warned my brother, “After seeing our mother’s decision regarding you, I don’t entirely trust her choices.”
My brother closed his mouth not knowing what to say.
The sound of the front door being hurriedly opened could be heard. Soon, I was able to see my AhJung running toward us.
“JiHan, I’m sorry, I’m so late, aren’t I?” My AhJung stopped in front of me and looked around trying to catch her breath. “Oh no...You’ve already done everything... You did this all by yourself? All of this?”
She looked at me with teary eyes. I nodded casually.
“I said I’ll come back to help,” she said. “Why did you finish everything already?”
“Because it tastes so much better if I do it. Even if you came early, I would have done everything by myself anyways,” I said cutting her short.
Her teary expression changed to a pout. I kissed the pouting lips with mine but quickly removed them. While slightly pinching her cheeks, I said, “Go wash your hands and change so we can start.”
Na AhJung hugged my waist tightly and buried her face into my chest. “One moment. Just for a little bit. I want to be like this.”
Her pleading voice make the edges of my lips quiver. My chest was trembling like snow had piled up in my heart been crunched as she stepped into it.
How did I end up in such a perfect marriage?
Swept up by this random sense of satisfaction, I hugged Na AhJung around the shoulders. At this public display, we could hear my brother heaving a huge sigh.
***
As we started the memorial service, Na AhJung looked to be drunk before we even started drinking. She was smiling and blushing in happiness. She was bouncing in excitement. For some reason, she was getting teary eyed.
She definitely looked drunk. She really was drunk but not on alcohol. It was something else. Something really good. It could be that she had achieved her dream of becoming an actress. Or, she was happy to be able to show her mother her success. Or, it could have been both.
Anyways, this girl was drunk on happiness. Trying to understand my girl’s emotions, I bowed respectfully to my mother-in-law.
When the memorial service was over, it was almost midnight. After moving the food to the dining table, my brother and I sat next to each other. Na AhJung sat across from us. As she had been during the service, she was still smiling uncontrollably.
While we had been eating the meal Na AhJung, in the middle of chewing, exclaimed, “Ah! My mother must be so happy!” Right after, she started shoving this and that into her mouth.
Afraid she might get indigestion, I handed her a bottle of water. “Look, AhJung. Eat slowly. We have a lot of time and a lot of food.”
Na AhJung nodded, chewing furiously. Instead of the water bottle I handed her, she grabbed the wine bottle. She poured the wine into her cup and drank it. Afterward, she proclaimed. “My mother is probably the only ghost to have such great tasting food at her memorial table! My mother will be the happiest ghost out there today!”
She went to pick up a piece of rice cake.
My brother added, “I’ve never tasted memorial food like this either.”
I turned my head to look at him. My brother gave me a thumbs up.
“At this rate, we should be asking you to prepare our family’s memorial service food also,” he said.
Feeling proud, I smiled. Suddenly, a strange sound diverted my attention to Na AhJung. She was pounding her chest choking on the rice cake. I shot out of my seat. Before I could do anything, she downed the alcohol in front of her.
Her face relaxed as she put down the cup. I sat back down relieved.
Seeing this, my brother said, “They say that raising a son for 30 years can’t beat the 30 seconds it takes for his wife to change him. I would have never imagined this would apply to my brother.”
“You think I would have known?” I asked still observing Na AhJung.
She poured another glass and drank it. She put down the glass with a huge smile on her face, as if she had drank something sweet.
“I’ve lived 28 years without knowing this girl, but who would have known that now I can’t live without her,” I said.
Like a mirror, my face broke out in a smile like hers. Suddenly Na AhJung’s posture changed. She grabbed the wine bottle with two hands and started drinking it in huge gulps straight out of the bottle.
“I think she’s drinking too much,” my brother mumbled in worry.
She removed her lips from the bottle and put one eye to its top like a microscope. A few seconds later, she put the bottle down and started to cry. “There’s no... Alcohol....”
I muttered, “She’s drunk.”
“She’s drunk,” my brother muttered.
“I... have no alcohol...” Na AhJung hung her head low and muttered in a disappointed voice.
Her inherent sadness made my heart hurt. Sensing that she was going to cry soon, I hurriedly moved next to her.
Suddenly, she raised her head. “I have a husband!”
Her face was ecstatic without a single hint of a tear. The smile hanging from her face was wide and bright. Na AhJung was smiling so hard, her eyes were closing.
“Husband! Husband!” She looked around and found me sitting next to her. She wrapped herself around me and hung on tight. “Husband, husband, husband, husband!”
Watching her repetitively calling me with that giant grin on her face made me blurt out. “My God you’re so cute.”
I patted her on the head.
“Hey, I think I’m going to head out,” my brother said.
The sudden bid goodbye made me turn my head. My brother had gotten out of his seat and was watching us.
“Oh man. If I wanted to live without seeing this, I should have just married Na AhJung when I had the chance,” my brother muttered.
Oblivious to this whole conversation, Na AhJung stood up on the chair and wrapped her arms around my neck.
Making sure she wouldn’t fall, I held onto her tight and replied back to my brother, “Even if it killed me, I would have never let that happen.”
“Who would have known that marriage would have ended because of this?” my brother replied with a laugh. “You better be thanking me. If I wouldn’t have tried to marry Na AhJung, you would have lived forever without her.”
“That’s why you’re the person I love the most,” I said.
“Me? Not your AhJung?” my brother asked.
“Out of the men,” I retorted.
Seeing my brother laugh, I followed suit. Na AhJung slowly started to wrap her legs around my waist. I supported her weight with my arms.
She whispered in my ear, “Honey... My honey...”
My ears tickled with her breathy words. My heart was also being tickled by these words.
“You know the way out right?” I asked my brother in a hurry, feeling hot.
I didn’t wait for his answer. Carrying Na AhJung, I ran to the bedroom.
***
It was a night to remember. Due to the extension of the play, we had decided to wait so that I could preserve my stamina. Now, there was no reason to wait. We put a month’s worth of energy into one long and passionate night.
I was so glad that I didn’t have to perform the next day. I felt relieved as I looked outside the brightening window.
I had fallen asleep for a moment but woke up at the sound of someone moving. I opened my eyes to see JiHan dressed to go out.
“Huh? Are you going somewhere?” I asked.
“I’m going to buy condoms,” he replied. “We used them all last night.”
“Condoms? Why are you going to buy that now, it’s so early?” I asked getting up.
JiHan put on his jacket as he replied, “I was going to go buy them while you were asleep.”
“What’s the hurry?” I asked. “We can buy them when we go to the market later. Why do you have to go now...”
“If we are to do it when you wake up, I have to buy it now,” he said.
“When I wake up... Again?!”
“You said that other people are the most passionate during their honeymoon phase and that when their eyes meet, electricity flies,” JiHan said as he stepped over to the bed. “So why are you surprised I want to do it the moment you open your eyes?”
“Oh, well that’s for those in the honeymoon phase,” I said. “We’ve been married two years. We’re not really in that phase anymore.”
“If I have enough strength to hold up a spoon, then I’m going to live in the honeymoon phase,” JiHan said with determination. He bent over and kissed my forehead. “When I come back, we are going to do it. So sleep more if you want.”
He turned away, but I grabbed his jacket. “Wait...”
“Why?” he asked.
“Look for them more carefully,” I said. “We should have some left. I counted it the last time.”
“There were a couple left, but we used them all yesterday,” JiHan replied. “They ripped a few times in the middle.”
“Oh, that’s right...” I nodded as I remembered the previous night.
“So, just wait a little bit. I will go get them,” he said.
“But, still. You don’t have to go right now?” I held onto his jacket tighter. “We don’t have to use contraceptives anymore. Can’t we do it without it?
At my question, JiHan asked me quizzically, “Why shouldn’t we use contraceptive?”
“Well, if we want to have a baby, we obviously shouldn’t be,” I replied.
I had pushed it off until because of my work, but there was no reason to put it off any longer. Starting now, I was OK with the thought of becoming pregnant.
Trying to convince JiHan, I waved his jacket back and forth. “So, hurry up and take this off. You don’t need to go buy it.”
JiHan shook his head. “I’m going to go buy it because we are not going to have children.”
“What?” Unable to believe what I just heard, I blinked confusedly.
JiHan repeated his words to me with a resolute face, as if they were an obvious fact. “We are not going to have children.”
We are not having children? Never having imagined this, I sat there numb.
JiHan kissed me on the forehead. Thinking better of it, he kissed me on the lips. Telling me he would be back soon, he left.
When I came back to my senses, JiHan was gone.
What did I just hear? We aren’t having children... How is that possible? Uh, no. This is a dream. I must have fallen asleep.
I shook my head denying my memories. I tried to persuade myself, When I wake up from my sleep, I will realize this was all a dream.
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