Chapter 42
I must have fallen asleep waiting for Lee JiHan. Sitting on the living room sofa with my eyes open, I looked around. The sky outside the window was still dark just like when he had left.
Glad that I hadn’t been asleep long, I pulled out my cellphone. Unlike my assumption, it was already past 3 a.m.
Why hasn’t he called yet?
I sat up straight in surprise. My body was so sore from working out in the morning that I moaned. Even though I wanted nothing more than to lay back down, I forced myself up and headed to Lee JiHan’s room to check if might have come back. At the same time, I called him.
I took a deep breath and entered his room. As expected, he wasn’t there.
He wouldn’t still be with JiKyung, would he? Did something go wrong? As anxiety started to hit me, I heard Lee JiHan’s voice through the phone.
“Why aren’t you sleeping yet?” he asked.
“Uh, where are you? Why aren’t you coming home? Did something go wrong?” I asked.
“I’m still talking with my brother,” Lee JiHan replied in an incredibly tender voice. It was as if he was a completely different person from the one who had fought with his brother earlier.
“Still?”
“We’re having a good talk, so there’s nothing to worry about,” he said. “Na AhJung, you can go back to sleep comfortably.”
“You’re sure you’re having a good talk? Not overreacting... You’re trying to gain approval from JiKyung, right? You’re not having a fist fight, right?”
I heard him laugh through the phone. Immediately after, he said, “You’ll see in a couple hours.”
“What?”
“Don’t worry and go to sleep. I’ll come pick you up when the time comes. I’ll take you to where my brother is so you two can talk things through.” Lee JiHan spoke in a calm and a trustworthy tone. “I told you to look for me when you’re nervous and you actually did.”
“Oh.”
“If I was in front of you, your body would have found me,” Lee JiHan added regretfully. “Hold that nervous thought, and you can resume when I wake you up later.”
He had spoken in such a serene voice, I couldn’t help but believe there were no obstacles in our way. Thanks to Lee JiHan, I was able to significantly calm down. But, it didn’t decrease how much I missed him.
After ending the call I slid into Lee JiHan’s bed. I laid my head on his pillow and inhaled his scent. With my face buried in his pillow, I closed my eyes pretending it was him. Hugging the pillow, I fell asleep.
***
After several hours, and the sun was up, Lee JiHan came to pick me up as promised. He drove us to Incheon airport.
Curious about what they talked about, I asked him for details. Lee JiHan only told me that it went well and to hear the rest of it directly from my brother.
He said it went fine, and his expression was bright. A small ray of hope formed inside me, making me believe that everything would really will be fine. Remembering JiKyung’s attitude from the previous night, it was hard to believe he had changed his mind overnight.
When we arrived to Incheon airport, Lee JiHan led me to Starbucks. Hearing that this was where I was supposed to meet JiKyung, I stepped inside nervously but found that he was not seated anywhere. He hadn’t arrived yet.
“This is the place where we first met,” Lee JiHan said as he looked around the interior of the Starbucks. “Do you remember?”
“Of course I remember.”
It had been the day I came to see JiKyung off to his business trip. Lee JiHan had seen me and dragged me away like a prisoner. Thinking about the past he still gave me the chills.
“Ugh...” I got goosebumps while reminiscing about that time and rubbed my arms together.
“Are you pretending to remember when you actually don’t?” he asked.
“Uh, no way. That was the scariest day of my life,” I replied.
“Then, guess in which seat we sat.” Lee JiHan was testing me.
I immediately pointed to the table we had sat in that day.
Lee JiHan smiled crookedly and patted my head. “Correct. We’ll sit there for old time’s sake.”
“Should we?” I headed towards the table I pointed at.
As I did back then, I sat in the same chair and faced Lee JiHan. He continued to smile beautifully watching me. It was the same place and person, so how could he be so different?
“My brother must be running late. Let’s order,” he said.
“I’ll buy for old time’s sake!” I stood up feeling I should show some sort of gesture to show my gratitude for this miracle.
As I started to walk toward the cashier, Lee JiHan grabbed my wrist. “You’re going without even asking me what I want to drink?”
“It’s the sweetest thing here. The one you like the most,” I answered, remembering the drink that Lee JiHan had ordered before.
“No. This time it doesn’t have to be that sweet,” he said.
“Oh, really? Why? I thought you liked sweets.”
“I like sweets when I’m angry,” Lee JiHan said. “I don’t feel the need for sweets this day.”
“Why? There aren’t a lot of instances to get angry?” I asked. “You’re, like, happy because of me?”
I looked at Lee JiHan hoping for him to confirm that my answer was right. He cut me off and replied, “There were a lot of instances to get angry.”
I pouted with my head down feeling depressed.
“But, these days, even if I get angry, I don’t feel the need for sweets,” he said. “I just think of you instead.”
At these words, my head shot up and, my eyes sparkled. I smiled from ear to ear.
“Then what should I order?” I happily asked.
Lee JiHan grabbed my hand and stood up. “You’re not going anywhere. I’ll go. Just tell me what you want to drink.”
“I said I’ll buy it for old times’ sake,” I said. “I bought it last time for you.”
“I’m just trying to prove to you how different I am from last time.” Lee JiHan sat back down, leaned over, and kissed me. Stepping back slightly, he looked into my eyes. “I seduced the girl that was supposed to be marrying my brother, and you think I’m going to make you move a finger?”
It wasn’t just words. Then and now, Lee JiHan said his words with sincerity in his eyes. It brought tears to my eyes, so I pulled him close.
I was lost in the moment with my eyes closed when I heard a familiar voice.
“You were glued together on top of a car yesterday.”
Surprised, I released Lee JiHan and saw JiKyung behind him. He was watching us with a bothered expression. I blushed furiously.
“Why is it that you two are like this every time I’m here?” he asked. “Are you doing it on purpose?”
“No, of course not,” I replied swiftly in embarrassment.
Lee JiHan cut in breezily. “It’s not that we are doing this when you’re here, we’re just always like this.”
JiKyung shook his head annoyed.
As Lee JiHan went to order our drinks, there was an awkward silence that persisted between JiKyung and me. With my head down and swallowing dryly, I opened my mouth first to speak.
“I’m sorry for my selfish choice.”
I was going to say more, but JiKyung, unlike yesterday, replied back to me in a soft voice. “I was selfish too.”
“What?” I lifted my head upon hearing the old sweet tone of JiKyung’s voice. My eyes locked on his. They were as sweet as his voice.
“I didn’t want to live as myself. No, I was afraid that I would get caught being myself, so I used you to have a fake wedding, and it’s not like we are married already,” JiKyung said. “Even if we break off the wedding, it’s not like there will be a record like a divorce. I just wanted to go through with my plan. If I married you, I could go on hiding without worry. That’s why I was stubbornly against breaking it off with you. Selfishly.”
JiKyung looked me in the eyes. “And, the $500,000 I said yesterday. I was just mad, so it sort of just came out. I just felt so betrayed. I was so caught thinking about myself that I didn’t have the capability to think about your position. I thought about it a lot last night. That’s when I remembered. When you had agreed to the wedding, you said this to me.”
JiKyung looked down remembering that day.
“That I was unconfident to live as myself to the point where I would act for the rest of my life in a marriage intended to fool everyone in the world including my family. Because of that reason, you would be willing to take on this part as my acting partner.”
That’s right. I did say that. I nodded remembering the words I had forgotten.
“Like a fellow soldier,” I said. “I thought that the least I could do to help out a fellow soldier find peace was to complete this play.”
JiKyung smiled. His face became serious again. “I understand now what you were saying back then. That’s why I can understand how you feel now. His voice was strong as he said, “AhJung, as a fellow soldier, if you are happy right now, I wish for you to continue living that way.”
“Continue living like this?” I asked unsure of what he meant. I thought I knew what he meant, but I couldn’t believe it.
“What I mean is, you don’t have to marry me, and you don’t have to break up with JiHan. We’ll just pretend this contract never existed,” JiKyung answered as he checked his watch. He got up from his seat. “I have to go now. It’s almost boarding time.”
JiKyung walked out of the Starbucks, just like that.
“Ji, JiKyung.”
I followed him. He stopped walking and turned. With a relaxed smile, he put out his hand.
“We may have not been able to go through with the wedding, but let’s try for a better break up,” he said.
He means it. He really means it!
My heart exploded with happiness at the realization. But, I didn’t grab JiKyung’s hand. I wrapped his arms around him and gave him a tight hug instead.
“The last time we were here, I had joked that out of all the women unloved by their husbands, you will be the happiest bride,” JiKyung said a little sadly. “That promise was the truth. I couldn’t love you as a woman, but I was confident I could make you happy.”
I didn’t realize when he had returned, but Lee JiHan’s voice interrupted us.
“Instead, you will now be the happiest bride who will be very much loved by her husband. I promise you that, here in this airport.” He talked about our marriage as if it was a given.
This man is a bit sappy around his brother. We haven’t even been dating long and he’s already making jokes like this...
Content in finding out this new side of Lee JiHan, I hugged JiKyung even tighter. I didn’t want to be happy alone. I wanted to share my luck with him. As I had found Lee JiHan, who had made me want to live as myself, I prayed that JiKyung would find his miracle to be himself too.
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