Chapter 187
Kim Dae-Young followed Lee Hyun-Deok’s orders, sealing every door and banning the survivors from going out for the day.
No one raised an objection to this since Lee Hyun-Deok and Kim Hyeong-Jun were like saviors to the Jeju Defense Unit, having taken care of the officers of the Northwest Gang and the Northeast Gang as soon as they had arrived on Jeju Island. In fact, the Jeju Defense Unit took the lead in locking all the doors and examining every window.
Fortunately, this curfew period became a time for the Survivor Rally Organization and the Jeju Defense Unit to catch up with their families after a long time. The Jeju Defense Unit opened their supplies, which had been thoroughly managed, and handed out a little bit of the ramyeon and canned tuna that they had stocked up. Since they had to feed six hundred people, though, it ended up being an enormous amount of food.
Park Hye-In, who was managing the food, seemed rather disappointed at the amount of food that was disappearing, but Heo Seong-Min held her hand tightly to reassure her.
“The Survivor Rally Organization brought seeds for planting,” she said. “Once Mr. Lee Hyun-Deok and Mr. Kim Hyeong-Jun wake up, we’ll be able to start farming.”
Park Hye-In was surprised by this news.
She calmed herself down, then asked Heo Seong-Min, "Then… Then can we plow our fields, grow rice, and live like we used to?”
"Of course. And they’ll clean up all the zombies outside as well.”
Park Hye-In teared up and hugged Heo Seong-Min. His eyes also turned red, and he couldn’t help but smile gently. As the two hugged each other, many others comforted them and made jokes to lighten up the atmosphere. Lee Jeong-Hyuk and Choi Da-Hye joined in as well. Heo Seong-Min sniffed and smiled happily, then stood up.
"Everyone! Let’s eat to the point we can’t eat anymore and work hard again tomorrow!”
"Let’s go!"
All the survivors cheered and applauded as they began to enjoy the time they had. Both the members of the Survivor Rally Organization and Jeju Defense Unit mingled together as they sat around and enjoyed the food. It seemed like they were growing closer to one another.
However, there was one person—one person who couldn't blend in with the rest.
Lee Jeong-Uk leaned against the wall alone as he watched the others, his eyes clouded with emotion. After a moment, his head sagged, and he quietly slipped away to the pantry. He saw Lee Hyun-Deok and Kim Hyeong-Jun fast asleep. In fact, both of them were in such a deep sleep that they probably wouldn’t even wake up if someone had piggybacked them and took them somewhere else. Lee Jeong-Uk looked around the pantry, but eventually wiped off the dust from a chair in the corner and sat down.
He looked at Lee Hyun-Deok.
“I hope you’re not having a nightmare,” he said in a rather weak voice.
He knew he wouldn’t get a reply, but he didn’t care, and continued to speak.
“So-yeon’s dad, am I the weird one?”
In contrast to his soft voice and thin smile, his eyes were about to tear up.
“I don’t know why I feel sad when… when other people have smiles on their faces.”
Lee Jeong-Uk let out a deep sigh and took out a crumpled photo from his chest pocket. In the photo, Lee Jeong-Uk was wearing the brightest smile, standing with his wife and his newborn, who couldn’t even walk. He snorted and continued with his monologue.
“I remember, on days like this, my wife would rush over to me with a can of beer in her hand. Everything else seems hazy, but that can of beer… Geez…”
Lee Jeong-Uk wet his parched lips as he ran his finger over the faces of his wife and daughter in the photo.
“Oh, did I ever tell you that my wife really likes beer? I mean, she really liked it. We’d drink everything while talking about serious stuff, laughing together, and have a good time together. And this one time…”
Lee Jeong-Uk sat in the chair in the pantry and continued to share his memories one by one as if flipping through Polaroid photos, despite the fact that no one was listening. He could never reveal his weakness to anyone since he was the leader of the Survivor Rally Organization. That person was someone who had to think about the others constantly and had to be strong in front of the survivors.
This applied to Hwang Ji-Hye, and even to his younger brother, Lee Jeong-Hyuk. He couldn’t and didn’t share his feelings with Lee Hyun-Deok, the person who probably understood him best. He had always figured out a way to brush off the loneliness and sadness alone, while he kept his eyes on the future that lay ahead for the group.
However, seeing Heo Seong-Min and Park Hye-In triggered the deep sense of longing he had for his missing loved ones, just like the day when Lee Jeong-Hyuk and Choi Da-Hye had gotten married.
“And I almost forgot. This one time, my wife… So my wife was at work, right?”
Lee Jeong-Uk couldn’t bear to continue, and bit his lower lip instead. After that, he sniffed once, looked up at the ceiling, and sighed. The corners of his mouth trembled. He closed his eyes and furrowed his brow. His aching heart was throbbing beyond his control. He couldn’t help but burst into tears because he missed his loved ones, because he couldn't enjoy this time of fellowship, and because nothing in the world could fill up the emptiness within him.
He grabbed his bangs with his hands, bit his lips, and sobbed.
"You know that… that these… these days… I can’t stop myself from thinking that I feel dead yet happy at the same time. I know how much of a blessing it is that everyone trusts and follows me… I know it’s something that I shouldn’t take for granted, and that I should be thankful for it… But I just feel dead inside. It’s like I’m a happy corpse, or something.”
Lee Jeong-Uk cried silently for a long time. The ragged, heaving breaths that he took every now and the way his shoulders trembled pitifully made him seem like the saddest person in the world. His crying was in stark contrast to the people outside laughing; it was a testament to the weight that he bore on his shoulders.
Click.
At that moment, the tightly-shut pantry door swung open and he heard a child’s voice.
“Uncle…?”
It was So-Yeon. Lee Jeong-Uk hurriedly wiped away his tears and sniffed.
“Ah, So-Yeon, why aren’t you eating your ramyeon? Or have you already eaten?”
"Uncle Jeong-Uk… Are you crying?”
"No! Why would uncle cry? Uncle didn’t cry at all.”
“Uncle, why are you crying?”
He wondered if she knew he was lying. She looked at him sadly. He put on a bright smile.
“Uncle wasn’t crying, So-Yeon. No one was crying here.”
“Don’t cry, uncle.”
Tears began to brim in So-Yeon’s eyes, and she burst into tears. She rushed over to Lee Jeong-Uk and hugged him. He burst into laughter and held So-Yeon in his arms. However, unlike the fake smile that he’d put on, he felt a real kind of warmth, and he couldn’t stop himself from tearing up as well. Lee Jeong-Uk remained silent as he held So-Yeon in his arms with his eyes closed.
“When uncle cries, I want to cry too,” said So-Yeon, who was sniffling in his arms.
Every time she sniffed, Lee Jeong-Uk patted her on the back as he tried his best to soothe his aching heart. As he patted her, he looked at the photo clutched in his hand. He saw his wife and daughter beaming in it. However, So-Yeon’s warmth and her sympathetic crying made Lee Jeong-Uk look away and focus on her instead.
Lee Jeong-Uk put the photo he was holding back into his pocket and silently stroked So-Yeon’s hair. He then looked up at the ceiling as if he had no other choice.
‘Honey, I’m sorry, but I think you’re going to have to wait a bit more. Just until this child is all grown up.’
Lee Jeong-Uk lifted So-Yeon and held her in his arms. He led them out of the pantry
‘If you can wait for me until then… I’ll-I’ll make sure to bring all your favorite beers when I go see you,’ he thought silently.
Lee Jeong-Uk took a deep breath and got himself together, then looked at So-Yeon.
“Is So-Yeon crying alone now?” he asked. “Uncle’s completely fine. In fact, I don’t feel anything right now.”
“I saw you crying earlier, uncle.”
"No, no! Uncle’s sure that So-Yeon’s mistaken. So I guess So-Yeon is a crybaby?”
"No! I didn't cry either."
So-Yeon wiped her tears away with her right hand and jutted her lower lip out. Lee Jeong-Uk laughed heartily and pinched her cheek gently.
“How did you know uncle was here?” he asked.
“I saw you come this way alone, so I stopped eating and followed you.”
“Oh no, so you didn’t even get to finish your ramyeon because of me? Shall we go and eat together?”
“Yes!" she said with a laugh.
She immediately beamed at the word ‘ramyeon’ as if she had forgotten that she had been crying just a few seconds ago, and wrapped her arms around Lee Jeong-Uk. Lee Jeong-Uk cradled So-Yeon in his arms as he led her back to the group.
* * *
It was nine o'clock. The sun had already set a while back. Kim Hyeong-Jun slowly awoke in the pantry, massaging his stiff neck. His nose itched at the smell of ramyeon that hit him as he exited the pantry.
From the hotel lobby and all the way to the restaurant, there were countless people gathered, chatting away. As Kim Hyeong-Jun stared blankly at the scene in front of him, his wife waved at him from within the crowd, gesturing to him to go over. He walked toward his wife as he yawned and rubbed his eyes. She was sitting next to the Lee brothers, Choi Da-Hye, and Park Gi-Cheol.
When Park Gi-Cheol saw Kim Hyeong-Jun, he burst out laughing.
“Did someone get a good nap or what?”
"It's been a while since I slept... My mind is still hazy. But apart from that, why is everyone down here on the first floor?”
“Heo Seong-Min and Park Hye-In opened their stockpiles in commemoration of cleaning up Jeju City.”
Kim Hyeong-Jun went blank for a second, but then nodded slowly. “Oh…”
In commemoration of cleaning up Jeju City. He knew that they weren’t aware of the black creature’s existence. He assumed that, even if they knew its existence, they’d only be thinking about the one in Jeju Island, which had blue eyes. To Kim Hyeong-Jun, it seemed like everyone here believed that things were working out in their favor.
Kim Hyeong-Jun grimaced as his gaze drifted toward the pantry. Lee Hyun-Deok was still fast asleep, and Do Han-Sol and Jeong Jin-Young, who were in the corner, showed no signs of waking either.
He rotated his stiff shoulders.
“Is anyone upstairs?” he asked.
“Mr. Kim Dae-Young should be on the roof.”
It seemed like Kim Dae-Young was following Lee Hyun-Deok’s request exactly, keeping an eye on the surroundings of the L Hotel. Lee Jeong-Uk, who was beside Park Gi-Cheol, spoke up.
“Mr. Kim Hyeong-Jun.”
“Feel free to speak informally. You’re older than me, and it’s not like we’re in a meeting right now, right?”
"Haha! You’re right, okay then.”
Kim Hyeong-Jun scratched his forehead and smiled softly as he looked at Lee Jeong-Uk. Lee Jeong-Uk scraped the remaining bits of tuna off his plate, then asked his question.
“What do you plan on doing after cleaning up the remaining zombies in Jeju City? Are you going to Seogwipo?”
“Well, we haven’t set any plans yet.”
“So-Yeon’s dad didn’t tell you either?”
The question made Kim Hyeong-Jun look closely at his face. Lee Jeong-Uk looked back at him, his gaze not wavering in the slightest. Kim Hyeong-Jun felt like he was pressuring him to spill the tea, as if he knew everything. Kim Hyeong-Jun couldn’t help but scratch his sideburns and avoid his gaze. It seemed like he was trying to feel him out while Lee Hyun-Deok was still asleep.
Kim Hyeong-Jun realized that Lee Jeong-Uk would know what was going on, no matter how well they tried to keep their secret. Based on his experience so far, it seemed like his instincts were telling him that something related to the black creature was probably happening behind the scenes.
To be frank, letting Lee Jeong-Uk in on what was happening wouldn’t be a problem. He wasn’t the type of person to go around spreading rumors. However, if it happened to reach one of the survivors, it would completely destroy the harmonious atmosphere that they were currently sharing. If Lee Jeong-Uk showed any hint of discomfort or deep thought, the leaders around him would start asking questions.
Kim Hyeong-Jun knew better than anyone that there was no such thing as a perfect lie in this world, and that no lie lasted forever. The truth always came out in the wrong place and at the wrong time, contrary to one’s intention. But he knew that right now… That moment wasn’t and shouldn’t be that day.
Even Kim Hyeong-Jun didn’t want the harmonious atmosphere to be shattered into pieces. He sighed and smacked his lips, but it didn’t take him long to reply.
“We decided to look for some farmland after cleaning up Jeju City. We assume that we’d have gone through our stockpile of food by the end of winter. That's all Hyun-Deok ahjussi told me.”
Lee Jeong-Uk nodded. "Hmm… Is that all?”
He looked at the food on the floor. It seemed like he didn’t like the answer Kim Hyeong-Jun had given him. He started chewing on some peanuts, then looked Kim Hyeong-Jun straight in the eyes.
Kim Hyeong-Jun had tried to beat his way around the bush, but Lee Jeong-Uk went straight to the point.
“What did you decide to do with the black creature?”
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