Chapter 1493 Aftermath [4]
Thalia was different now.
The Thalia Damien knew was gone.
The way she responded to the Saintess' death was severe. She killed all the free will in her body and turned herself into someone who only acted for the benefit of the tribe.
Because if she could sacrifice herself and help her people, she would do it without hesitation.
It made Damien a bit sad seeing her current state. He didn't like seeing her without any light behind her eyes.
'But it's not my job to help her.'
She didn't want his help. If she did, she wouldn't have acted the way she did.
When he was put in this situation, what could he do?
At most, he could try to help the tribe and hope that its revival would help Thalia gain some of her normal self back as well.
"Do you want to become a God?"
He could breach the subject now, because after an incident like that, Thalia's worldview wasn't the same as it once was.
"I can make you one. I can bring the tribe up to that level as well. All you need to do is ask."
It was an arrogant thing to say, but it was true.
Thalia looked away, staring at her reflection again.
Frankly, she also didn't know how to act around Damien.
Back then, she definitely had some sort of feelings for him, but she always knew it was impossible for them so she never entertained them.
Now, she couldn't feel those feelings even though she knew they existed, so when she looked at Damien, she just felt awkward.
Especially when he talked about something like Godhood.
Thalia knew what she needed. Along with power, worldview was incredibly important.
The knowledge necessary to survive in the world outside the jungle was something she couldn't gain without help from others, and Damien was the perfect person to give it to her.
His backing was definitely something she wanted for the tribe.
But…
"What's the catch?"
Nothing in this world was free.
"You already know the catch."
"That's hardly a catch."
"Trust me, it definitely is. The world is massive. The world you'll see if you accept my offer is even bigger. If you really do choose to get involved with it, you will definitely find yourself facing dangers beyond your imagination."
"My promise is the power and backing to face those dangers. However, even with that, if you and your people don't have the will to accomplish what you've said you want to accomplish, nothing can be done."
Thalia didn't respond.
She had to make a choice.
Did she want to live safely but restrict the growth of the tribe? Or did she want to take a risk that could exterminate them but also had the potential to make them powerful?
It wasn't an easy choice to make.
It was something she needed to think about deeply, and it was something she needed to talk about with her people.
"I'll leave you alone to consider everything. Just come see me when you make a decision, and remember…"
Damien put his hand on her shoulder.
"I'm always on your side. Whatever you choose, I'll support it to the best of my ability, so make your decision without any pressure."
Damien told her his true feelings, and without staying past his welcome, he left her alone.
He would now return to the tribe to spend the last few days or weeks he had in the Sacred Abyss Universe.
Soon, he would have to return to his home to fight his own battle.
He could only help them until then.
And he could only wait until then.
***
Thalia sat staring at her hands.
Damien had already been gone for several minutes, but she hadn't left this position.
In truth, the worries she voiced were not her main ones.
She knew that Damien's support meant the world. She did have pride of her own, and she did want to help the tribe with her own abilities, however, she wasn't going to halt their growth because of those selfish desires.
She was tempted to just say yes and give him control over the tribe.
But she had a responsibility towards her people.
And frankly, she was scared.
It had to be remembered that Thalia was a village girl. She'd never left the jungle before, and it was the same for most of the tribespeople.
To suddenly thrust them into the wider world, and in a position of great power at that…
For them, it was absolutely terrifying. Everything would be new. Everything would change.
Thalia didn't know if they'd be able to adapt properly to the terrifying world outside, and more than that…
…she was afraid of her own power.
Domination.
Damien wasn't the only one who gained that power.
For Damien, it was the ability to dominate existence, but for Thalia…
It was the ability to control people.
She'd tested the ability already.
Not on people, but on beasts.
And as she'd learned, as long as she desired it and as long as she had the sufficient ability to do so, she could force anyone to do anything.
Thalia was afraid of what would happen if her power was allowed to grow.
She was afraid she'd become like the Count who'd killed her people for greed and power.
She thought back to the conversation she had with Damien, and she thought back to the way she accepted the advantages and disadvantages of power.
However, when absolute control was the power in question, she couldn't bring herself to accept her own acceptance.
'Will it be okay?'
She didn't know.
'Will I be okay?'
She didn't know.
There was nothing she knew right now, and that was exactly the problem.
Thalia couldn't be a risk-taker anymore. She couldn't put her people in danger because of her ambitions.
But wasn't it her job as the Saintess to help them thrive?
Was it right to hold them back?
Was rejecting Damien truly going to hold them back?
She held her head in her hands. Her thoughts were getting too chaotic.
'I…really don't know.'
She wanted to cry, but she couldn't force the tears out of her eyes.
'Saintess, what do I do?'
She wasn't ready for this position.
She wasn't ready for this responsibility.
No matter how much she tried to prepare herself, being forced into power like this was too much for her.
'I don't want it…'
The tears came on their own.
When she stopped trying to force them out, they flowed freely, wetting her face and falling into the lake below.
'Saintess…'
'Grandma…'
She couldn't do it.
It was too much.
Thalia cried her heart out.
She wailed because she knew nobody could hear her.
Life had been cruel to her.
She didn't want to live this cruel life.
She wanted it to just be over, so she could sit back and be happy.
But was that even something allowed to her anymore?
Was that something she could ever do?
The problem was never Damien's offer.
The problem was the weight on Thalia's shoulders crushing her into the ground and forcing her to die slowly as it killed her.
If she couldn't cope with that weight…
Thalia cried.
She cried and cried and cried.
And when night finally fell, her tears went dry.
Her eyes were back to their dull and indifferent state.
The decision she had to make was not about whether she accepted Damien's offer or not.
No.
What she had to decide now was if she'd fold right here and now…
…or if she'd persevere through it all.
To Thalia, who was still too young for life to hit her like this, it was a decision beyond any other.
Because giving up seemed far too tempting to disregard.
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