A second? A minute?
Or perhaps maybe even an hour, or perhaps it was actually shorter. Time has always been unimportant for someone like me—someone who could move faster than most spaceships, someone who could outlive most of life in the universe, someone who could be on the other side of a planet in a blink of an eye.
I have never thought of eternity, because I already have it. I do not need to wish for it, I just need to be strong for it. I do not need to know what it feels like, because I am already living its beginning.
I have never thought of eternity… at least until now. If I could express eternity, then this is it.
A kiss that will forever last.
I do not even know if my lips are still placed upon his, the only thing I know is that the words I uttered before doing so were a lie. I lied to Riley and said that he has become my purpose, of course not. I only said what he wanted to hear so that this madness could end.
Billions of lives have been lost since I have failed to stop him. And if the only thing I need to do is to pretend to want to be with him, then that is a punishment I would gladly carry.
"..."
But why…?
Why as our lips continue to be intertwined do I feel like this? Why does it feel like this?
I truly wish to convince myself that his lips are cold, extremely so. But it's warm. His eyes were cold and almost dead, and yet I could feel the warmth from his lips almost crawling through my veins and throughout my entire body; causing my legs to somewhat shiver and my skin to feel a sort of fuzz.
This is wrong, extremely so. But why… why does it feel so right?
I am touching lips with the biggest threat to life itself. Riley has killed people I loved, all of them. This is wrong.
It should be wrong however and wherever you look at it. Morally, ethically, lawfully, spiritually, and even personally wrong. So, why does it feel as if this is what should actually be? Like her lips truly belong to Riley?
Is it… some sort of ability that he has? That must be it—how else would you explain all of this?
Everyone, in one way or another, is attracted to Riley. He definitely has some sort of ability, an ability that he himself might not be aware of. But if he has… then I should feel it.
Or perhaps, instead of me lying to Riley…
…maybe I am lying to myself? Maybe… I truly have something for this—
No, definitely not. Never—and even if I do, then that is something I must never allow to develop. What this is, is duty. Nothing more, nothing less.
I control this situation, I know where I need to stop, and I know where I should take it. I hate to admit it, but the previous Elders of the Common Council, those who were the actual trigger of my people's death, were right.
What I am is a leash to the dog that is called annihilation.
And so, I finally stopped the eternity I found myself in and pulled my lips away from Riley… or at least, I did. I couldn't even take a single step back before Riley's long arms suddenly wrapped themselves around my waist, pulling me closer and back to him.
I could resist, I should resist. I am physically stronger than him, it is ridiculous to even compare it. But why… why am I allowing myself to be pulled by him?
I should be the one holding the leash, not him. And so, with a release of my breath, I placed both my hands on his chest to push him away… but as soon as I saw his eyes, no.
As soon as I finally saw my reflection in his eyes, any strength I could conjure up just suddenly disappeared. And this time, he was the one to place his lips upon mine, forcefully.
"!!!"
I didn't know whether it was because of shock, but my eyes widened as the warmth that I was already expecting became warmer and warmer by the second. At first, I thought it was just because I was breathing in when he kissed me, but no…
…he placed his tongue inside my mouth, twirling it upon mine and making it hard for me to breathe.
No, I don't need to breathe in the first place. But why…
…Why does it feel like this?
Why am I losing myself?
Why—
"Hah…" And as Riley suddenly leaned away and removed his lips, I couldn't help but take in a long and very breath, almost as if I hadn't inhaled for more than a hundred years.
"Why… why did you do that?" I made sure to raise an eyebrow, wiping my lips that were still wet from his saliva as I looked him straight in the eyes. And finally, there, I see a glimpse of the first thing I saw when I first laid my eyes on Riley.
A mad innocence.
Evil, and yet pure… confused.
…Lost.
"Aerith."
Once again, I couldn't stop a heavy breath from escaping my lips as Riley finally said my name. My heart that only beats once in a blue moon, now thumping like drums in an orchestra that marches through an endless road.
Nervous? Am I actually getting nervous?
I shouldn't be, I am the one that should be in control.
"I'm… truly sorry, Aerith."
"...What?" Riley's voice was weak, almost a whisper as he strayed his eyes away from me, "Sorry? I'm afraid you have no right to be so."
He doesn't—I need to let him know that he could never atone for the mistakes he had done.
"You have already caused the pain and death of hundreds of billions of people, Riley. You're way pas—"
"No, I am not apologizing for that since I am not done with ending life yet," Riley looked into my eyes for a few seconds before once again looking away, "I am apologizing for a different reason, Aerith."
"For what…?"
"I am sorry that it is you," Riley looked down toward the ruined ground he created, "I am sorry that you have to suffer because I have taken a liking to you—that you are the one that I am experiencing romantic love for."
"Romantic… love," I don't really know what to say. Riley has always had a way with his words. Most of the time, eerily literal. But there are times in which he seemed like a poet… if an AI was a poet, that is.
"I have already hurt those who are close to me, especially my sister," Riley closed his eyes, "My sister is suffering because I love her, I do not know how much more I could hurt you because I am in love with you, Aerith…
…and I truly apologize for that."
In… love with me? He had said that several times, and I usually just shrug it off as I have always thought that Riley is truly incapable of being in love. But… didn't I once think the same of myself?
Hundreds of years ago, the concept of love was foreign to me. The only thing in my mind was the need to prove myself, and then I graduated from that thought and started thinking for the safety of others. I did not have time for love, and yet still love found me… and it lost me, or perhaps I lost it.
I loved Gary's father, I really did—but there was a point that it just faded away… I faded away and we fell out of love.
And now, a love that shouldn't be allowed is growing in me… or perhaps it has already sprouted long ago, I just continue to cut and nip it before it could bloom.
Because I know that what would grow out of this is not a beautiful rose, but a toxic grass that would end up devouring every weed and flora it happens to touch… and it would continue to grow and grow until everything else is dead.
"You don't need to apologize for that, Riley…" I truly do not know what I am doing anymore. I don't hold the leash, and he doesn't as well. We're both just…
…tied together.
"...I don't know what will happen next. I don't know how I will even stop you when you just grow stronger and stronger. But I will."
"You have already promised that before, Aerith."
"And I'm still in the process of fulfilling it, I have eternity to do so. But for now…
…how about just going home?"
"..."
"We've already caused enough damage for today, Riley. And the both of us are going to need to pay for this one way or another," I smiled at him, "Someone out there, perhaps maybe even more dangerous than you will stop y—us. But…
…Let's just go home for now, okay?"
"..." Riley looked to the side, before finally looking at my eyes again and nodding. But after a few seconds of staring at each other, I realized something…
"Whiteking…? Can you hear us?" We were in a completely different universe, "Wait… how are we even going home?"
"Oh, you do not have to worry about that, Aerith," Riley shook his head before taking a few steps back. And then, with a short but very deep sigh, he placed his palms together, before stretching them to the sides…
…summoning a portal in front of him.
"What… how did you—"
"I have Paige's abilities, Aerith. I can enter this…
…and perhaps you could too."
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