Villain Ch 284. Unwanted
Allen's stunned expression spoke volumes, his mind swirling with a maelstrom of emotions and memories. The act of opening up was not something that came easily to him. His past experiences had left deep scars—wounds inflicted by his family's neglect, the betrayal of former teammates, and the heart-wrenching infidelity of an ex-lover. Each painful incident had left an indelible mark on his soul, fostering an innate sense of guardedness that made vulnerability feel like an insurmountable challenge.
"I hope I can do it," Allen confessed, his voice laced with a mixture of longing and apprehension. His gaze drifted downwards, avoiding direct eye contact as he shared his innermost thoughts. "But it's not easy. The past has made me hesitant to trust and open up."
Jane, her curiosity piqued, couldn't help but inquire further. She instinctively sensed the significance of his statement, realizing that there was a deep well of pain and struggle residing within him.
"Why?" she questioned gently, her voice filled with genuine curiosity and a genuine desire to understand him better.
"Trust issues," Allen admitted, his voice tinged with vulnerability. He took a deep breath, steeling himself as he delved into the depths of his emotional turmoil. "I'm afraid...afraid that history will repeat itself. That I'll be betrayed, discarded like worthless trash all over again. I don't want to return to that dark place. It's a living hell," he confessed, the pain of past wounds still haunting him, refusing to fade into the abyss of forgotten memories. The trauma had left an indelible mark on his very being.
Jane's heart ached for Allen as she absorbed his words, her own voice rendered silent by the weight of his admission. Suddenly, everything made sense—the way he kept his emotions locked away, the walls he had erected around himself. It was a defense mechanism born out of necessity, a shield that protected him from the perils of vulnerability. She realized that Allen's guarded nature had inadvertently shaped his approach to the game, where he willingly offered his assistance and became a protective figure for others, all without imposing his will upon them. It was a manifestation of his deeply ingrained habit of bearing everything upon his own shoulders, his determination to handle everything alone.
"I didn't ask you to open up right away, Allen," Jane spoke gently, her voice filled with sincerity and understanding. She knew that healing wounds took time, and that trust couldn't be rebuilt overnight. "I know it's a lot to ask, but little by little, you can share parts of yourself with us, with me," she continued, her eyes fixed on his, a glimmer of compassion shining within them. "It won't hurt you, I promise."
Allen felt a surge of conflicting emotions swirling within him. Part of him longed to divulge his innermost thoughts, to release the weight he had carried for far too long. But fear still gripped him tightly, its claws digging deep into his soul. He was torn between the desire for connection and the need to protect himself from potential pain.
Her touch on his cheek was a revelation, a source of unexpected solace amidst the chaos of his thoughts. It was as if a soothing balm had been applied to his wounded heart, easing the ache that had plagued him for so long. He closed his eyes, allowing himself to be enveloped by her comforting presence. It was a moment of vulnerability, of surrendering to the safety she offered.
"Allen," Jane's voice was a gentle whisper, filled with tenderness and a hint of wonder. She had never witnessed this side of him before, this rare display of vulnerability. It tugged at her heartstrings, compelling her to draw closer, to bridge the gap between them. With a soft touch, she placed her hand on his other cheek, her fingertips grazing his skin in a delicate caress.
Love? Affection? It was difficult to discern the exact nature of her feelings at that moment. All she knew was that being with him brought her a sense of peace, an inexplicable connection.
In that moment of vulnerability, Allen mustered the courage to share a piece of his past with Jane. It was a revelation he had rarely spoken about, keeping it locked away in the depths of his heart. But something about her presence, her unwavering support, gave him the strength to open up.
"My step dad... he never accepted me. It was always about my mom. For him, I was a thorn in the flesh, someone he didn't want in his life," Allen shared, his voice tinged with a hint of pain. "So, I spent most of my early years with my grandparents until they died," Allen confessed, the words flowing with a mix of relief and anguish. The wounds of his fractured family were still raw, leaving scars that ran deep within his soul.
He even never said this to Sophia. Well, Sophia didn't really care about this in the first place as long as he fulfilled her needs and all her wishes. He didn't realize how she manipulated him when they were still in a relationship, but after he broke up and came back to his senses, he realized how toxic Sophia was. It was the reason why he didn't want to come back to her.
He opened his eyes. A bitter smile tugged at the corners of Allen's lips as he mustered the courage to share another painful truth. It was a secret he had kept buried deep within, a part of his identity that he had tried to distance himself from. But at this moment, with Jane standing before him, he felt compelled to reveal the darkest corners of his past.
"Grayblight is my mom's surname," he confessed, his voice tinged with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "I'm an unwanted child, Jane. A product of a one-night stand."
The weight of those words hung heavy in the air as if Allen had laid bare the darkest secret of his existence. He had carried this burden silently for years, the constant reminder of a past he had no control over. It was a reminder that he once branded himself as an outcast, undeserving of love and acceptance.
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