Chapter 339: Rabbit Dung
As Miaomiao refused to go first, Zhu Qiao and the 6-man group took the spotlight. They started walking up the stairway in order.
After the ten youngsters had gone up, more strong candidates started following them.
As for Gan Ning, he looked around in hesitation at first, but he joined the crowd after a minute of consideration. After all, this trial was the most difficult one since everyone could become the sect's inner disciple here if they were to pass.
Meanwhile, Miaomiao observed the crowd, and he spotted the irregularity.
'Hoh?'
As Zhou Gongjin had been petting the rabbit in front of him, Miaomiao had also been observing the youth's actions as he stood out from the rest.
Seeing how the youth baited a rabbit from the dark soil with vegetables and carrots, Miaomiao decided to mimic him. He brought out spicy yang lettuce, which he had been keeping as a yang-type pill ingredient for several months, and put it on the charred ground.
Sure enough, a baby rabbit poked its head out to sniff at the herb. Then, it started nipping it.
At first, the rabbit looked like a normal animal without a fantasy trait or ability. But after it ate the herb, its size kept growing larger every second.
A minute later, it became a one-meter-tall fat rabbit with fluffy fur. Its red eyes looked at the benefactor as it nudged its head against Miaomiao's stomach.
'Cute, but is that all?'
As Miaomiao was confused about what he should do with the giant rabbit, it suddenly dumped a turd ball at the size of a soccer ball. Then, it burrowed into the charred soil and disappeared.
The corner of Miaomiao's mouth twitched as he stared at the round turd. He felt betrayed.
'That ingrate son of a bunny whore! He ate my precious herb and return the favor with a shit ball!?'
Miaomiao was enraged. Even worse, the parents and guardians of test-takers laughed at Miaomiao for gaining a big ball of dung in return for wasting a high-grade herb.
Miaomiao had the urge to kill someone to vent his anger. He turned to Zhou Gongjin, who came up with the feeding-the-rabbit idea.
Surprisingly, Zhou Gongjin also got a ball of dung in return. Yet, he scooped a handful of it… and ate them!
"DAFUQ!?"
The action was disturbing and shocking. Not only Miaomiao was baffled, but the nearby crowd was also disgusted. Some of them even vomited while many non-exam takers looked at Zhou Gongjin in disbelief.
Still, what made the guy more shocking was his next action. He smeared the dung onto his ragged clothes and his face, after which he proceeded to the stairway.
Miaomiao stared at the dirty youth. Then, he looked at the poop in front of him.
'FUCK, NO!! I WON'T EAT THIS SHIT!! White Album, do you know what it is? Why did he ate and smeared himself with this shit?'
White Album woke up and secretly inspect the item while she was still inside Miaomiao's body.
[Master, I have no idea. This is the first time I've seen that weird rabbit and this shit.]
Unfortunately, Xu Xiuying had never seen it, so the clone didn't have the knowledge about the mysterious rabbit and its dung.
'Dion, what about you?'
Ding
[Comparing the item with the Immortal Realm and God Realm Database.]
[You have obtained a medium-grade material, Shit with Scent of Earth.]
'What can I do with it, then?'
[By smear the shit over your body, you can have the scent of earth and its blessing, which can neutralize earth-based array effects, such as weak gravity arrays and mental instability.]
[If you eat it, your breath will have the smell of beasts, and you can communicate with animals according to the data.]
'How does that make any sense!?'
[Don't ask me how it works. I'm also confused.]
The scent and its connection to arrays were mysterious. Miaomiao and Dion were baffled by the profound laws and the unknown power at work.
'Yeah, this is silly, but I think I've figured something. Is that tiger a divine beast? Is this his power?'
[No clue.]
Obviously, Dion wasn't omnipotent. She still had limited resources and intel about the entire universe.
However, she was still a useful system.
[Aside from the unknown power, I have analyzed his cryptic words. From my analysis, that tiger has already hinted at everything. He wants someone who doesn't discriminate against his beast tribes or his kin to join the sect.]
'I doubt it. That stupid tiger is totally trying to humiliate cultivators. I bet no one will pass this exam. Even if that guy has the scent of earth, his cultivation base and physique are still too weak… Wait, a first-stage cultivator… an underdog-type character before the face-slapping scene?'
Miaomiao's train of thought got derailed and his attention switched to Zhou Gongjin. He raised his eyebrows as he looked at the youth, who had just climbed the stairs, and proceeded to the 100th step in a short amount of time.
Ahead of Zhou Gongjin and many others, the group of 4 women in dark cloaks was in the lead. They had reached the 1,000th-step mark. However, they suddenly crouched and hugged the floating stair blocks.
The six-man team also showed the same symptom – They stopped walking up the stairs at the 900th mark. Even Gan Ning paused when he reached the 950th step. As for everybody else, they sat on the stair blocks and stopped proceeding forward for a reason.
Miaomiao tilted his head and observed the others. The stairs had been floating still, but those people were suddenly lost their leg strength.
Then, he looked at the pile of dung and Zhou Gongjin, who smoothly leaped and jumped, going up five to six steps at once. After five minutes of climbing, he surpassed the two leading groups, proceeding smoothly beyond the 1,000th step.
'Ah, the beast's scent and the beast's grudge. If this is a novel plot, that tiger must have wanted to shame human cultivators. The only humble ones that can abandon their pride and lower themselves to one of the beasts might be able to gain his approval. But if that's the case, isn't that guy's action similar to what protagonists would do?'
Miaomiao connected the dots and came up with a hypothesis. He rechecked Zhou Gongjin's cultivation base again.
At glance, Zhou Gongjin appeared to be a 1st-stage, muscle tempering realm cultivator, who was a bit stronger than ordinary people. However, he seemed too prepared and too rich for a 1st stage martial artist.
Miaomiao still remembered his dark days when he first arrived in this world. He was dirt poor, and a single unrefined spirit stone could change his life. Even people around him said that a single strand of yin or yang Qi could kill him.
Yet, that guy had a spatial ring, and he could use it?
Something did not make sense here. This entire event sequence felt like a scene from a novel, where the main character displayed his cheating skills and plot armor perks.
Miaomiao glared at Zhou Gongjin for the nth time. He took a deep breath to suppress his emotion.
'Fucking protagonists. They're literally EVERYWHERE!! What the hell is this world? Marvel Universe Cultivator Version!? Are you fucking lots preparing to form an avenger squad in the future or something!?'
He began to doubt if this was the devil's setup or it was purely a coincidence. After all, there were too many protagonists in the same continent.
Protagonists, war, his families, self-training schedules, the devils, the dao gods, rabbit dung, Dion's suggestions, and this current test, many things plagued his mind, and it gave him a headache.
Fortunately, Miaomiao was usually a free-spirit airhead with a mental issue when he wasn't life-threatened. Within a few seconds, he put everything to the back of his mind. He simply snickered and scratched his balls as if none of the issues was his problem.
After discarding all his logic, responsibility, and worries, Miaomiao's mind was clear. He refocused on how he could capitalize on this event and turned his attention to the pile of round poop of the ingrate rabbit.
'Poop and smell of earth? Is it necessary to smear my body with this shit? Can't I just use other means to get that scent on myself? That rabbit just nudged me. Do I have the smell of earth now?'
[Unfortunately, no. The SMELL must be a lot stronger than that little nudge you got. You can only get that smell if you mingle with beasts and animals for years. However, smearing yourself with animal dung is a surefire way to gain that smell temporarily.]
In short, Miaomiao had to take a poop bath like that unknown protagonist to pass this exam.
However, he didn't give up trying to find an alternate way to pass the test. After all, tunnel-visioning and copying the protagonist's action might result badly since he didn't have that person's skillset, secret treasures, or unknown cheat-like power.
Miaomiao decided to believe in his guts and not copying Zhou Gongjin's moves.
'Dion, is there another way to get that stupid scent of earth on me?'
[There is.]
Miaomiao was relieved, 'Tell me sooner! What do I need to do?'
[The scent on your physical body is temporary. However, if you can get the scent on your soul, you might be immune to the arrays as well. Furthermore, you will give off a different impression of someone who was born among the beasts, and I think that the tiger will like it.]
'Then, how do I get the scent on my soul.'
[Be with the beasts. Mingle with them for a few years, or… yeah, you know what to do.]
Dion's advice inspired Miaomiao.
If staying with the beasts could get the scent of earth on his soul, would Miaomiao be able to smear the scent of a certain beastwoman, who was a relative to the divine white tiger, on himself?
Miaomiao thought of the newest member of his yin slave group.
Mao Dandan, the weretiger from the beast tribes, had recently joined the gang during the chaotic mating season. As she was as sexually aggressive as his wives, Miaomiao satisfied her by rocking her senseless for days.
As a result, her mind was broken, and Dion automatically brainwashed her in the process.
Now, Miaomiao could summon her to his Isolation Training Space to join his FUN activities.
'Say, if I fuck Dandan for years in the space, will her smell stick with my soul or body?'
[You already knew the answer.]
"NOICE!!"
Delighted by the discovery, Miaomiao jumped and raised his arms to the sky, celebrating in advance. He ignored the weird look from everyone around him and walked toward the boulder, after which he leaned against it and fell asleep.
The crowd kept staring at the weirdo, wondering if he was still sane.
…
Isolation Training Space
Miaomiao opened his eyes and found himself in the dream world, where he could freely train and have sex with his wives and Xu Chu.
As soon as he returned here, he began calculating.
Currently, 100 hours in this space was equal to one hour in the real world. Miaomiao had less than 24 hours to complete the tiger's test, so he could not stay here for too long.
If Miaomiao utilized the space as it was, he wouldn't have enough time to get the smell on his soul.
Still, he might have a chance if he could upgrade the space.
…
[Basic Information]
Name: Mao Miaomiao (Cao Mao)
Cultivation Rank: Late 4th Stage (Essence Gathering Realm)
[Energy Pool]
Current Life Essence: 250 Billion Liters
Dantian Capacity: 250 Billion Liters
[Daily Energy Regeneration Rate]
Life Essence: 125M + 62.5M Liters
[Element Crystal Level]
Wood (Primary): 8/10
Water (Primary): 3/10
Dragon Fire (Primary): 5/10
Lightning (Primary): 5/10
Earth (Secondary): 1/3
Wind (Secondary): 1/3
Metal (Secondary): 1/3
…
Isolation Training Space (Lv. 7/10)
Conversion Ratio (Real World Hour/Isolation Space Hour): 1:100
Dual Cultivation Mode
Protagonist Rematch Mode
Private Plane Maker Mode
Upgrade Conditions
Possess at least one hundred billion liters of Life Essence.
Possess at least seven primary element crystals.
Completed at least 2 protagonist campaigns.
Constructed a Pylon Tower in the Isolation Training Space
Next Upgrade Perks
Conversion Ratio (Real World Hour/Isolation Space Hour): 1:250
Realm Expansion (Depending on the mastered element.)
??
…
Miaomiao had already completed two of the four ITS upgrade conditions.
He had over one billion liters of life essence.
He had constructed a Pylon Tower in the space.
And he had completed one protagonist campaign by killing Liu Bian. He also tamed Ma Moxi, which was still questionable if it counted as the second completion of a protagonist campaign.
If only he could evolve his secondary element crystals into primary element crystals and form seven essence sea, Miaomiao might be able to instantly upgrade the space and increase the time ratio.
After that, Miaomiao could summon Mao Dandan to this space, so he could MINGLE with her until the last minute. Then, he might have a chance to obtain the smell on his soul.
Miaomiao stared at this status menu, contemplating what he was about to do. His current action was idiotic no matter how he thought about it since there was no guarantee that the protagonist hunt condition would be accounted as completed, and he might be wasting time forming element crystals in vain. He could have spent the remaining hours to have sex with Dandan and bet on the chance that he might get the scent on his soul.
Also, had he threw away his pride and ate the rabbit shit as the protagonist did, he wouldn't have to rush making all primary element crystals. Everything he was about to do was rash.
Yet, Miaomiao was there, staring at his status menu, planning to do something unreasonable once again.
"No pain, no gain! Come on, I might be a mob, but I'm the protagonist of my story. I BELIEVE IN MY PLOT ARMOR!! I KILLED AND STOLE THE PROTAGONIST'S PLOT ARMOR FOR TIME LIKE THIS!!"
Miaomiao flew toward the hovering black hole in the sky, which was his secondary dantian. All excess life essence, corrupted essence, and element Qi, element essence, and various type of untamable advanced element Qi was in there.
This was Miaomiao's ultimate plot armor that he had believed in.
Undaunted, Miaomiao withdrew four types of basic element Qi, which he hadn't become his primary elements yet.
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