107 Dirty
Outside the banquet hall.
" Rose wait." Li Quin shouted. Quickly increasing his speed, Li Quin caught her hand and said," Why are you always running away from me like this?"
" Leave my hand Quin." Rose said.
" No." Quin said.
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Tears started flowing down her cheeks.
When Li Quin saw Rose crying helplessly, he felt a prick in his heart. He could not see her like this. He tightened his grip on her hand.
Rose flinched in pain," Quin you're hurting me."
Li Quin quickly let her hand go and said," I am sorry. But I am not sorry for whatever I said inside. Ben is my-"
" He is not your son. Do you understand? He is not your son." Rose shouted.
Li Quin caught her shoulder and said," I want to acknowledge Ben as my son. I want to give him my name. I want-"
Rose jerked his hands off her shoulders and said," No you can't. You can't do that Quin."
" Why not? Not only do I want to make Ben my son, I also want to make you my wife Rose. I love you Rose and you know this really very well." As Li Quin said this he placed his hand on her shoulder and continued," I know you like me too Rose. We can work things out together."
" Don't- don't touch me. I am dirty." Rose said while taking two steps backwards.
Li Quin froze. He could not say anything nor react.
Rose covered her face with her hands and said," I am dirty. I am not pure Quin. I-I can still feel that man's dirty touch on my body. I can still smell him on my body. I-I" sobbing for a while, she continued," I feel disgusted with myself. I disgust my own body."
Looking at Li Quin, she continued," When I disgust my own body, how can someone else like it? How? Quin you are a very nice man. You don't deserve someone like me. You don't deserve someone who has a dirty body like me. Someone who has been forcibly touched and disgraced like me doesn't deserve a man like you."
After saying this, Rose rushed towards her room.
Li Quin stood there in daze. Words like 'dirty' 'not pure' 'disgraced' 'disgust' we're running inside his head. Tears started rolling down his cheeks.
.....
It was almost 11 pm, when the banquet ended.
Xie Ming did not see Rose nor Li Quin After they left the banquet earlier.
" What happened?" Li Singtan asked.
" Nothing. You must be tired so go to the room first. I'll go check on Rose." Xie Ming said.
Li Singtan kissed on her forehead and said,"Take Ben with you. Come fast okay."
Xie Ming nodded her head and left.
....
Rose had no idea how long she had been crying.
She loved Li Quin. There was no doubt about that, but the fact that she was raped couldn't be changed. She really felt that her body was dirty. Someone like Li Quin deserved better.
During the banquet, when Li Quin told everyone that Ben was his son, Rose felt a prick in her heart.
Though Rose loved Ben a lot but she could not change the fact that Ben was the child of her rapist. Not that she regretted giving birth to Ben but letting Li Quin get involved in such a complicated thing, Rose would never do that. By God's grace, Ben did not resemble his father except for his hair colour. Not even a slightest bit of his features matched with that man and Rose was very thankful to God for that.
Rose wanted to give Ben a father. Which mother would willingly want to raise their child without a father? But Rose was helpless.
She loved Li Quin and wanted to be with him. She knew that Li Quin would really treat Ben as his own son. But something was stopping Rose from doing that.
....
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