To Cole this was more than just a simple what's your name question. It was deeper, more fundamental and had to do with how he saw himself and exactly what sort of person he wanted to be. But there was no way he would have a true answer for that question. He could not just say that his name was Cole Night, or Cole World Breaker Raen Night. He was a mess, in the end the right answer to the question this weird giant ocean woman asked was.
"I don't Know."
And the moment Cole gave that answer he could breath, and just from taking a dep breath he found himself back on top of the river bridge. He fell to his knees coughing as the woman rose out of the bridge, still looking as massive as she was under the water. Cole had to be honest, while she did not give off the same feeling as Deraka, to his sense she seemed ageless.
And eternal, like she was something that has always been, and will always be. Cole got back on his feet, there was so much to take in, and she didn't have to say anything for him to come to the conclusion that he needed to. For one, he was a Raen, being able to sense emotions meant that he was bound to be erratic with his own. It was the major reason why he had told her he did not know.
Cole was a human being, but he was also a Raen, or better yet he had become a Raen. And humans were the most inconsistent and volatile race that Cole has ever seen. Not that he has had the pleasure of seeing other races, but he knew what he was. And then turn that into a Raen and you haven that emotional imbalance raised to the power of 10 from a -0.5 factor.
It was as he evolved and advanced more in his racial ranks that Cole realized that there was no absence of emotions in a Raen, in fact that was the problem. He felt too much with the negative emotions taking precedence. He felt anger just as hard as he felt depression. Perhaps this was the pone disadvantage that the races had above all else, and because of that Cole was not sure of himself.
A human would spend their entire life searching for themselves, some would find it early on, others would do so at a later date. But one thing was for sure, every human would always find themselves, they would grow and finally stop growing. Once that was at an end they die, but Raens will grow and grow, there would be no stability only flux.
That was the caveat of the race, they would grow for an eternity but would never be able to be whole. Cole wondered if perhaps this was not the sign that being what he was, might have been nothing more than curse than the blessing he thought it was in the first place. He had no idea what he was doing, or if he would ever be able to have an answer to his heart's deepest questions.
"But fuck that! What ever the fuck the future might hold who I am now or what my name is doesn't matter. All that matters is to keep putting one foot in front of the other. I don't need to tell you who I am, I don't need to tell anybody, by the time I am done with what I have to do…..You will know my name, and perhaps then…..so will I."
The ocean woman/spirit gave a small smile as her form seemed to ripple and shake, it was like watching the waves move. The tide coming in as all life and the very manifestation of the sapphire sea grinned before opening its mouth to speak. By this point Cole knew there was nothing female about this, even Deraka could not be called male or female. This was an entity not born, but manifested.
A fundamental aspect of this world, perhaps all of the other temples had something like this too, Cole did not know. He has never had such a moment of self reflection, and perhaps he was not telling himself the truth, or understanding just what sort of person he was. But that was life and that was why life is expected to be a teacher and journey. He will find his answers eventually and he would do it by the side of the people he loves.
"You are funny Aspirant. Naive and gullible, you have no idea what the universe truly is like, but you're tenacious that's for sure. And try as you might to deny it, greed for power, anger at the system subsuming your universe, wrath, pride… all of the negatives you think drive you. They're all lies Cole son of Night.
You are a man pretending to be a beast and a beast pretending to be a man. Neither one or the other. But you are resilient on a level that I have only seen in one other person….someone I know you will be crossing paths with sometime in the future. But never the less I will let you pass through, you did not pass my test, but you did not fail it either. I look forward to seeing what you and your children would do in the future, I get the feeling it would be great and mighty a thing…..a very, very terrible."
She finished speaking and seemingly splashed down back into the river bridge as in her place an archway rose up into the sky, an inky blackness that could be nothing else than a portal to the next floor. Cole sighed, this floor had been weird, different in the fact that at the end he was forced to confront something about himself he didn't think was a problem, but in the end there was no other ways to go but forwards and so he went on ahead….the Sixth floor awaits.
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