Ten more years passed. I finished two laps in the time.
It was quite a shocker for me too, but thanks to the constant breakthroughs that Eugene helped me with, my speed and strength and pretty much everything was physically incomparable to before.
And now, I was already on the verge of the level of Ki Emperor while having hit the peak of my mana utilization. Thankfully, this place was also just as filled with all sorts of energies as it was filled with time.
How the three from Eugene's time would have made this place was still pretty much a thing of complete mystery for me.
Of course, this cycle of ours mostly involved of me running and utilizing all my strength. Getting beat into a pulp till every bone in my body had been crushed at least a few dozen times, and then by me hunting the clones of the Outer God and eating them which also got progressively stronger.
By now, I could take down three of the ones that had killed me if I put my life on the line. It was quite great progress.
Now that I had gotten used to running all the time, though, I had been faced with a different problem.
I had enough time and mental space to think.
That was the issue I faced.
It might sound absurd, but letting someone think in an empty place where they could do nothing but what they were tasked without eating sleeping, or stopping for even the slightest of seconds was nothing short of torture.
Till now I had been a machine toward survival, but now that I had some breathing space, the immense mental exhaustion had started to weigh down on me.
It wasn't just mental exhaustion, I was also thinking of other things.
What happened to Titania? My brand was still on me, but I couldn't contact her. What happened to her when I almost died?
To be honest, Titania currently was ninety-nine percent of all my thoughts. I was worried about other things. How the time was flowing in the outside world, if they had all started gathering together, how I would have also liked to see my mom and sister.
If Albert and Luka were still alright. If the others were waiting for me. If I should have just fucking married Lethe that day instead of saying we should take our time so that I wouldn't have to be worried about her being alone now.
Oh damn, what if she had decided to go to someone else?
The thought was as fleeting in its leaving as it was with its entrance. I had zero reason to every doubt Lethe. No, I had complete faith in her. More than I had in myself.
So my only worry, once more, was Titania.
I knew I could do nothing to ease this worry till I left this place, so I decided to place it down and lock it away for the moment.
And that opened up space for fear.
"Your circulation has gotten weaker. Do you find this too easy or something? Might I remind you, you only have 86 years left to complete the entire task?"
"Ah... it's not. I was just thinking of how the fight would go on."
"Worry about it later," Eugene said. "I'll teach you that too. Well, I lost so I can only teach you so much, but still."
I nodded at his words.
The goal of this training was to become the strongest. That naturally meant that I had to surpass this fucker or this would all be useless. To be honest, I was quite looking forward to it.
"Say, kid," Eugene called out. "Why do you want no one to die in these battles of yours?"
"Why….?"
"I know your wish, I don't know your reasoning."
"I… don't deserve to live any more than anyone else. If a life is going to end, it better be the most worthless one, right?"
Eugene slapped his face at my words, almost immediately.
"What's with you? Is it because you're a teen?"
"Excuse me? I've lived hundreds of years."
"And you're still cringe." Eugene sighed and lay down in the air, still floating. "Why do you put yourself on a pedestal?"
I stopped.
He kicked my face and I started running again with two fewer teeth than before. No matter how many Outer Gods' clones I defeated, I still couldn't dodge a single of his movements.
I was already miles stronger than most people back in the world after breaking through all those realms, and yet.
"Listen, kid. No life is worth more or less than another. You are no hero, don't delude yourself with such stupid responsibilities."
"If I am to be the strongest, shouldn't I be able to keep people alive?"
"But are you?" He asked. "You aren't. And even if you are, what makes your life worth less or more than that of the others?"
"…"
"I told you, stop deluding yourself. Becoming stronger is your choice, trying to make sure no one dies is also your choice. It isn't your responsibility or duty. Don't hit yourself over it, just try to live up to your choice."
"That's just sophism."
"Maybe. I don't know. I am the one who turned back time because I couldn't let things end the way they were. Not with everyone gone. As you grew stronger from the beginning, you also started feeling the same things, right?"
I nodded.
The emotions I thought belonged to Eugene Hall were just mine. What kind of thoughts would an eight year old have to influence me so in the first place? And even then, there was a switch of souls between Albert and Alberto, but not for me.
By all means, the Eugene Hall of the game was just another part of me. Of Yu Jin Han and Apate.
We were all the same beings.
I totally understood his sentiments.
"Listen, kid." Eugene patted my shoulders. "If you want to save everyone, just do it. Don't make it sound deeper than it is. You are just trying to save everyone and nothing else."
Was that it? I felt like we were oversimplifying things.
"Don't live a hasslesome life. It's something you'll understand when you grow older, but holding yourself up to standards or expectations just bogs you down."
Eugene sounded like an old man his age for the first time.
"If you want to do something, do it. If you fail, try again. That is just how life is. If you keep looking for happiness you'll never be happy, and if you keep looking for meaning, you'll never live."
"Don't retcon philosophers now."
Eugene grinned and patted my head.
"I think you broke through again with that conversation."
I closed my eyes and felt my core. Truly, my Ki had gotten stronger yet.
It seemed I had surpassed the Emperor Ki realm as well.
"It's time…" Eugene said. "To teach you to form a cataclysm core."
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