Chapter 28
We finished our rehearsal.
“Thank you!” We bowed our heads to the production crew who worked hard for the rehearsal and came down the stage.
“When we were on stage just now, our spacing and formation was really good. You guys all skillfully adjusted the distance, knowing the stage's size is different from the practice room's, right?”
“Yeah, that’s what I’m talking about! We were right on beat! It was great!”
The members moved to the waiting room and exchanged feedback on the rehearsal they had just completed. Since the rehearsal went without a hitch, everyone seemed to be in a good mood. This was good. If we made mistakes in our movements or lyrics during rehearsal, it would greatly bother us until we went back up on stage.
“We’re back to the waiting room!”
“Let’s take a break for 10 minutes!”
“Nice~”
After returning to the waiting room, the members collapsed on the sofa. I sat at the very end of the sofa. Then Woon sat next to me and said with a soft smile, “How was today’s rehearsal?”
I replied, “It was good.”
“Really?”
Did he suddenly have something to say to me? Or was there something that he wanted to point out about my performance? He seemed like he had something serious to tell me.
Woon continued, “I feel like the speed at which you learn dances has greatly increased these days. You even memorized the choreography I showed you this time by seeing it just once.”
I flinched when he told me that my dancing skills had increased greatly since that wasn't the result of my true skill but my Insight ability.
“The details in my movements are still lacking compared to yours.” I made an appropriate reply and smiled awkwardly.
Then Woon took a deep breath and continued as if he was finally getting to the main point. “But I think the choreography would look even better if you glue your eyes to the camera and give a piercing gaze.”
“Piercing gaze?”
“Yeah, you look a bit like a machine right now. Should I say your eyes look a bit dull?” He must have started with a compliment to tell me this, since giving a compliment before saying constructive criticism was a basic setup.
“DulI?” I reviewed the rehearsal in my mind. I personally didn’t think there was much of a problem with the way I performed. I got all the moves right, and it didn’t feel like I was stiff. I did my part well so I didn’t stand out in a bad way. But—
‘Ah.’ I thought I knew what Woon was talking about.
“Tae-Yoon, your eyes are like a person who’s just carrying out a job. I think it would be better if you looked at the camera as if you like being on the stage, with enthusiasm and passion in your eyes. Or as if you were fully immersed in your performance. I think your performance would be greatly enhanced if you look at the camera with those kinds of eyes!” Woon smiled and gently patted my shoulder and went back to his seat.
I stayed in my seat and reflected on what Woon said. I thought my part of the performance was over without a problem if I just did the proper moves and sang my assigned parts, but, ‘I guess not.’
After hearing what he said, I started to get a sense of what was wrong. I could explain this problem in many ways, but the most accurate way to describe it would be, ‘my lack of self-identity as an idol is coming back to bite me in the butt.’
I asked myself, 'how much of my self-identity is based on being an idol?' Although it sounded like an insignificant issue, it had a huge effect on the stage. I hardly based my self-identity on being an idol, and most of my self-identity was based on being a novelist or lyricist.
Rather than doing well on stage, I thought more about how to set the stage and sell our performance to the public. Frankly, it had been less than a month since I arrived in this life from my past life, and I had lived as a web novelist for more than three years. In a way, it was natural that I did not identify myself as an idol, and I was just doing my best to save Do-Seung.
‘I have to glue my eyes to the camera with piercing eyes?’ I looked in the mirror of the waiting room, recalling what Woon said. Then I tried to change my eyes to look a bit more emotional than the other members. I stared at the mirror with piercing eyes as I would look at a camera but...
‘...Damn it.’ I couldn’t bear to see my face any longer because I looked way too self-absorbed and full of myself. I was also well aware that I looked colder and a bit stand-offish compared to other people, but my face in the mirror was of a narcissist who saw other humans as insects.
‘What the hell?’ Among the novels I wrote in my past life, I made a villain who looked down on people like this, and the responses I got about this villain were extremely bad. I created him to be the main villain of the story, but the reader’s response about him was so bad that I had to kill him off in just three episodes after his first appearance. If I made the same expression I just made on an actual broadcast, I might meet social demise within the third episode of The Showcase. I think I needed to use my eyes in a different way.
‘Hmm.’ However, it was not easy at all. I put earphones in my ears and started searching for videos. I referred to stage videos of people with strong idol self-identities and who were known to make great eye contact with the camera.
* * *
Producer Park Soo-Chul and the other production crew members of The Showcase 2 stared at the stage. Only One’s rehearsal had just ended, and this meant that the rehearsal of all five stages was now over.
“Only One is definitely up there.”
“Yeah, I agree.”
“Since Kang Hyun-Sung takes the center, all the parts that are lacking get balanced out.”
The production crew conversed and shared their thoughts about the Only One rehearsal.
Park Soo-Chul asked one of the production crew, “You said that kid was the youngest member of Only One, right?”
“Ah, yes, sir.”
Only One’s maknae, Park Young-Ho, had caught his eyes. Overall, Only One’s stage was high-quality, but in the last dance break, the maknae made a mistake in the line change. Although it was not a big mistake, he took a step less than what he was originally supposed to do.
It wouldn’t have mattered if he had taken a step further instead, but because he took a step less, his movement almost overlapped with Kang Hyun-Sung, who was standing next to him. However, Kang Hyun-Sung moved to the side and continued the dance break as if nothing had happened.
Of course, mistakes could happen. Kang Hyun-Sung handled the situation perfectly, so except for a few of the production crew, including Park Soo-Chul, most didn’t even notice the mistake. However, Park Young-Ho’s condition was a complete mess after the rehearsal. He began to get way too nervous around Kang Hyun-Sung, and his body froze up. Yet, they had just gone down to the waiting room since there were no other problems that stood out.
“Let’s keep a close eye on Park Young-Ho today. I think he’s mentally weak.”
“Yes, sir.”
Somehow, it felt like something was going to explode in the performances today.
“Is Park Young-Ho the youngest among all the contestants?” Park Soo-Chul suddenly became curious and asked.
“Ah, no, sir. The youngest in the cast is Siren’s Bong Tae-Yoon.”
“Oh, really? I had no idea.”
“He does give off a mature aura.”
“And Park Young-Ho also feels slightly younger for his age.” Park Soo-Chul said and thought about Bong Tae-Yoon. From what it got, it seemed as despite being the maknae, Bong Tae-Yoon wasn’t afraid to speak up around the older members and said everything he wanted to. Rather, it felt like the team’s direction was made with ideas from Bong Tae-Yoon’s head. He was a perfect member regarding singing, dancing, and visuals.
“But he’s a bit weak on stage, right?”
“You mean his performance on stage, sir? Was it weak? Since it’s not memorable, his stage presence must be weak.”
“Rather than being good on stage, is he the type to come up with ideas behind the scenes?”
“What, sir?”
“No, I was just suddenly curious about how our youngest members are doing. Despite their age, they sure work hard.”
“Sir, I'm surprised to hear that from someone who makes money by making those hard-working children cry.”
“Hahaha! That’s also true too.” The private conversation between Park Soo-Chul and the production team ended there.
Since the rehearsal was over, it was now time to prepare for the shooting.
“Let the audience in when it’s the time, and let’s prepare for the broadcast.”
“Yes, sir~.”
The time for the first competition of The Showcase 2 was closely approaching.
* * *
Time passed quickly as I sat in the waiting room and practiced my gaze. The members spent time matching their choreography and eating snacks. I continued to look for references during this time. Yeon-Hoon came up to me, asking what I was looking at so intently, but I shrugged him off and continued to look at the videos. It felt like the technique was just out of my reach.
Frankly, I wondered if there was a need for me to work so hard on this. However, after Woon pointed out this problem once, I felt like all the problems I had in my performance were being confirmed at once, so I couldn’t help it. I didn’t want to put my team at a disadvantage due to my lack of ability, especially at a critical time like this.
At that moment, Woon came next to me and said, “Tae-Yoon, they said they’re going to start filming now.”
“Ah, yes.”
His eyes looked a bit apologetic. He must have felt sorry that I was bothered about something he told me, so I said, “There’s no reason for you to feel sorry as it was a problem I needed to fix someday anyway. Thank you for pointing it out.”
“R-really? Is that how you feel?” Woon smiled awkwardly and sat next to me. We turned on the monitor installed in the waiting room. The monitor connected to the stage camera showed in real time what the studio was like, and when the monitor lit up.
Gasp!
“Wow.”
We first saw the audience who entered the studio set. I thought I heard that about 150 people would be recruited, but 150 people were a lot more people than I envisioned.
“It’s been a long time since we’ve performed in front of this many people.”
“How fun!”
“There are quite a lot of people~”
The members seemed more excited with an audience. On the other hand, I felt more nervous now with an audience.
‘It’s not easy.’ No, it was natural to be nervous, and my members were the strange ones for being so at ease. I tried to shake off the anxiety, but once I realized that my brain was nervous, it was hard to shake this feeling off.
First of all, what concerned me was that there was a slight risk for today’s stage. It didn’t have anything to do with our performance but the fact that I lacked information about the other group’s performances. I knew what type of performances the other groups would do in the introductory performance, but it was different this time as a different mission from the one I knew in my past life came out.
Of course, since I knew the other groups’ skill levels, I thought performances within my range of expectations would come out. However, I was still worried because who knew what would happen in the end. While my head was about to be overloaded with concerns, Dong-Jun came and sat next to me.
“Tae-Yoon, why do you look so dreary~” Then he naturally put his arms around my shoulders and looked at me. “Are you nervous because we’re about to go on stage?”
“Ah, yes.”
“Don’t be so nervous~” Dong-Jun said with a peaceful expression. Looking at Dong-Jun’s easygoing expression, it felt like my nervousness eased a little. He smiled and stared at me and then said, “Even if you mess up the stage, you can just quit being an idol~ I’ll give you a house so you can live there. I have enough money to at least feed and take care of one person.”
I wasn’t sure whether he was trying to comfort me or pressure me even more. But strangely, when I heard that, I laughed and eased up a little. It was good Dong-Jun was rich. After my mood eased a little, I felt like I could sort out my heavy thoughts.
Then I also joked, “I’m not going to ruin the stage, and I’m not going to quit being an idol. But in exchange, I’ll take the house.”
“What? Hahaha!”
It was only then I began to relax a little.
—Hello to all our viewers and the audience who came to see this performance!
—We are the hosts of The Showcase 2 First Chance. I am comedian Kim Young-Jin.
—And I’m singer Nahyun! Nice to meet you!
The hosts came on stage, and the first competition finally began. I took a deep breath; worrying any more about today’s performance would exacerbate things. It was time for me to concentrate on the stage.
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