Chapter 6: Invidia, Part 3: I Want to Become You
Even if reason permits it, feelings aren’t as forgiving.
That is the nature possessed by Demons.
As such, Heard despises because he is Superbia, and Leigie slacks because he is Acedia. Lize angers because she is Wrath, Deije seeks because he is Avaritia, and Zebul eats because she is Gluttony. There is nothing strange about it.
Lorna is Luxuria, so lusting after Leigie-sama wouldn’t be… strange.
And because I am Invidia, I must envy.
I put all my effort into biting down on my lip… the taste of blood spreads out in my mouth. I can feel the irritating smell in the depths of my nose.
A scene I didn’t want to see, words I didn’t want to hear.
Much different from the vivid flames of Wrath, the muddy fire of『Envy』 licks the insides of my head.
『Envy Vision』
A Skill on the Envy Tree. The power to look up the movements of those I’ve envied. It isn’t just scenery, it’s even possible to hear their voices.
As if the scenes were rolling out before my eyes, my vision was clear, and my sense of hearing was filled with Lorna’s tender voice.
It’s not like I feel any carnal desires towards Leigie-sama, I’m simply jealous.
Of Lorna, who lusts towards her own Lord.
Of Deije who follows his desires, and continues to pursue it.
Of Heard, who has enough overflowing confidence to even look down on the Lord of Gluttony.
Up until now, I’ve only ever used Envy skills within my own room.
My front has always been 『Luxuria』.
Gifted with both intelligence and beauty, one who stands at the forefront of the army. A single woman who governs Lust.
I once envied the Demon Lord of Lust, Lilith Luxeliahart, and the skills I got my hands on were well over the skills of most Lust Demons.
As such, I am… Medea Luxeliahart.
My form reflected in the full body mirror was died with the unsightly emotion of Envy, and tears of blood are flowing down my eyes.
My mind is painted black, a clear repulsive emotion.
As opposed to my feelings, I was favorably proceeding down the Envy Skill Tree.
“Haa… haa…”
Even though I haven’t moved a single step, my chest feels tight.
The breath I let out is hot, and damp.
I try to recall Deije’s words.
As I thought, it’s no good. As long as I don’t carry out my envy here, I have no future.
Even if I am to be killed by Heard Lauder…
None… can get in the way of my jealousy.
If he comes at me with the intentions of disposing me, I just have to beat him at his own game.
The Avaritia Skills I obtained by Envying Deije.
The Luxuria Skills I obtained by Envying Demon Lord of Lust, Lilith.
The Skills I obtained myself by pursuing Invidia.
The Gula Skills I obtained from Zebul’s crushed corpse.
As a General Class, the amount of power I can Envy far exceeds that of Deije’s right hand man Libell the Pursuer.
But that is of no importance to me.
My Envy is… what triggered it? The item that was the source of all of this has to be out there somewhere.
I’m envious.
I’m jealous.
I want to… become you.
『Leigie-sama, it’s time for your meal. 』
With a gentle expression, Lorna calls out to Leigie.
She’s an attendant who has served him for many years. She’s the maid who has the most contact with Leigie-sama, and at the same time, she’s the Demon who saved me.
Her appearance, personality, skill, loyalty. Everything about her is envious.
… If only you weren’t there, I would be the one in your place.
And again, a black fever scorches in my head.
How, why, in just one step will what I desire fall into my hands?
Who is at fault? What is at fault?
If only I had been able to handle Zebul, if only I racked up some achievements, my daily life should have continued on as it always had, and yet…
But right now, what I have the least of is time. Heard will try to kill me without a doubt. That’s the type of Demon he is.
By just envying from afar, I won’t make it in time. My life will lose its meaning. I’ll lose everything.
The feelings I’ve tried so hard to restrain up until now have surpassed the extent where I can hold them back with my power.
My arms, my legs, even when it isn’t cold, they’re shaking.
『Leigie-sama, your hair is disheveled.』
『… I see.』
He was always burrowed into his bed, so there’s no way it could be in line.
In a tone as if it were just a pretext, Lorna touches Leigie-sama’s jet-black hair. His eyes remain closed, and he doesn’t say a word.
The moment she touched it, I saw Lorna’s face get dyed a light red.
She hasn’t said anything. She hasn’t said anything, but I’m jealous.
I heard a rumor on the wind. That Leigie-sama has gotten around to remembering Lorna’s name. His ever-so-reserved attendant was likely the cause of him going out a little while ago as well.
… Even though he hasn’t remembered my name yet.
It’s no good. No good anymore. It’s definitely no good.
I take rough breaths as I wipe my eyes with a handkerchief. The white cloth, after being brushed against my eyes only once, changed to a shade of vermillion endlessly close to black.
Ah, you are… my longing.
I understand that it’s something without meaning.
But if I… if I was a Demon Lord, I would be able to perfectly imitate Lorna’s form!
Those meaningless ambitions swirled around my head.
No matter how many times they turned, there was no signs of the endless stream of tears stopping. The weight of the handkerchief sucking up my envy was abominable.
I have no time. Whether I can win against Heard, honestly I do not know.
Thinking back to Deije’s warning, the probability is quite low. He’s a man whose nature I do not fully understand. I’m not sure whether he’s hiding anything or not.
Then before that, I’ll fulfill my desire.
I give up on wiping the tears.
I unlock the door, and leave the room.
My legs shake, and I put my hand on the wall to steady myself, as I head towards Leigie-sama’s room. On the way, I passed by one of my subordinates.
She tried to call out greetings to me, but seeing my face, she open her eyes wide with a shocked expression.
There’s no need for you to worry about it. My cravings aren’t pointed at you.
Trying to convey that, I attempted to force a smile onto my face, but seeing that, her face turned pale, and she fled.
(TL: The gender given to the subordinate here is vague, so it can be either male or female)
Ah… if I was able to smile like Lorna, she wouldn’t have run, right?
But that is also a trivial matter.
Before, I had all the time in the world, but until time started running out, I was unable to strengthen my Envy. I am an unsightly Demon, without a doubt.
There are plenty of Demons who have given up on their cravings, but having once tasted being a Minus, I am unable to resign myself.
I grit my teeth.
“It’s no good, definitely…”
“Kusu kusu kusu… what’s no good?”
I was supposed to be talking to myself there.
From around the turn of the passage, a single shadow showed itself.
Golden hair, blue eyes. A Demon wearing a maid outfit equipped with a skirt shorter than Lorna’s.
Hiero. Lorna’s sister. Number two of the house in service to Leigie-sama.
She gives an irritating laugh. While she has an appearance similar to Lorna’s, she wears a different atmosphere.
At the same time, she’s a Superbia Demon like Heard, but she’s a a special one who doesn’t go out in battle.
Why must pride raise such irritating voices? Her expression, tone, every part of her got on my nerves.
“I was driven away by oneechan, but in exchange, I’ve found something quite interesting.”
“…I have no business with you.”
“Kusu kusu kusu, Medea-san, your act is slipping off, you know?”
On her words, I suddenly noticed.
The imitation『Luxuria』 aura I always wore with a skill had been released.
I take deep breaths, and re-cloak myself in Lust.
With interested eyes, she looked over me.
“… I see, I had always been thinking it. No matter the case, your impression was too light for Lust. Kusu kusu kusu…”
Like I care.
I have no need to conceal it any further. In the first place, I have no interest in someone like Hiero.
From the start, the one I wanted to hide myself from… was Leigie alone.
Hiero takes out a handkerchief to wipe my eyes, and looking at the black cloth, she smiled brightly.
Without caring about dirtying herself, she put the handkerchief into her pocket.
“And what do you plan to do? Looking like that?”
“… As if you have to know.”
“Kusu kusu kusu, you’re no fun. I wonder what I should do… if I stopped you, would oneechan praise me?”
This one… does she want to fight?
Against a General like me?
It’s true that Envy Skills don’t have high attack power at all. But I have all the Skills I’ve Envied so far.
I’ll likely win. I’m not as weak as to lose to some normal mediocre Demon.
But even when on the receiving end of my bloodlust, Hiero smiled with an innocent face.
“… It’s a joke. A joke! Please don’t make such a dangerous face for a simple joke. Kusu kusu, fine, I’ll let you pass. Oneechan is… still in the room, but she should leave soon enough. Good grief, she loves to take her time…”
“… What’s your goal?”
I cannot understand what this girl is thinking.
She hasn’t lived that long, and she shouldn’t have proceeded that far down the Pride Tree, but from her expression, while it may be a different type, I perceive a pride like Heard’s.
Not that she’s making fun of me, but that she’s looking down on me by nature.
And her exprecion held an unfitting amount of wisdom.
“Nothing really~? I don’t have a goal. I mean Medea-san’s going to be killed soon so I thought that at the very least, I would let you accomplish your desires is all.”
Hey, don’t you think so as well, Medea-san?
Hiero raises her voice and laughs.
There’s a throbbing pain in my head. The Flame of Envy I was supposed to have restrained is raging up.
“Well, I think you can just do whatever you want. Leigie-sama… kusu kusu, won’t try to stop you, let alone mind.”
“…”
It’s no good, I have no time.
How much time would it take to annihilate this one? A minute? Ten? Or perhaps even more?
I have no time to care about Hiero.
Once she opens the way, I turn my eyes to her just once more, before directing them back ahead.
Blood drips, staining the carpet.
“Kusu kusu. Ah, if you end up killing oneechan, please tell me, ‘kay? It’s my turn next.”
“…”
I can’t deal with her.
Even after Hiero left, her annoying laugh resounded in my ears.
What’s so strange? What’s so funny?
… None of that matters.
I only have one regret left here.
Leigie-sama’s room comes into sight. Lorna has already left it.
From the start, I never had any plans of killing her. I’m not sure what would happen if she got in my way, but she’s a lot busier than an average soldier, and she’s always humble when in front of Leigie-sama’s eyes. Even when she’s so surprisingly intense at night.
I knock the large door once, before slowly opening it.
From what I can see with my eyes, Leigie-sama’s room is, after having been burned through by Lize-san a couple of times, different than the one I entered long ago, but the atmosphere I felt was identical.
Incomparable to Envy or Greed or Wrath or Gluttony, an intense air of Acedia.
“Pardon… the intrusion… Leigie-sama.”
On my voice, Leigie-sama won’t raise an answer. I knew that from the start.
I lock the door behind my back, and approach the bed Leigie-sama was buried in.
As if he had died, his eyes were lightly shut. His countenance was such that not a single expression lingered on his face, and I couldn’t determine whether or not he was awake.
Even when he’s before my eyes, I don’t particularly feel anything. The King of Sloth without a single thing for me to Envy. Just like a sculpture… no more than that, like a corpse, the King of Depravity didn’t stir in the slightest.
When I’m envious of everything I am unable to get my hands on, I can’t find a single thing in Leigie-sama to be jealous of.
It’s natural. What I was jealous of wasn’t Leigie-sama himself, but of his surroundings.
I move the palm of my hand to Leigie-sama’s face. He’s alive.
My unsightly tears of blood drip down, and stain that face.
“Leigie-sama… just what… should I long for… Why can I never be satisfied…”
“…”
Leigie-sama lightly opens his eyes, and his transparent gaze, without a hint of conceit, looks through me.
But he doesn’t say anything. That was excessively disheartening.
There is but a single clue.
In all that I’ve perceived, within my memory, Lorna is the one I hold the most Envy towards.
… That’s why if I’m able to accomplish something Lorna cannot, my jealousy should clear up a little.
“Leigie-sama… do you remember my name?”
“… Yeah.”
“Eh? Really!? Is it alright if I ask you to say it?”
“…”
His eyes asked the question, ‘who is this?’
… Just what instincts does Leigie-sama live on?
Even looking at my streaming tears of blood, even when his face is stained, he doesn’t stir in the slightest. I am unable to move Leigie-sama’s heart.
It’s something I already knew, long ago.
I lift the hem of my robe, and give a polite curtsy.
Then in the end, I’ll adorn myself with a impression of perfect beauty.
“Leigie-sama… I’m called Medea Luxeliahart. The Sin I govern is 『Luxuria』. It is a pleasure to be in your service.”
“… I see.”
He let out a gloomy voice.
My soul core is beating noisily.
But this is strange. Even when before the man himself, my Envy isn’t satisfied in the slightest. I am… just what am I overlooking?
Whatever the case, I have no time.
“Leigie-sama…”
I untie the ribbon holding the robe closed at the neck, and leave the red strip on the side table.
One by one, the wooden buttons are unfastened by my shaking hands.
I withdraw my arms, and the robe falls to my feet. My bare shoulders feel a pleasant cool sensation upon coming into contact with the air.
All that’s protecting my body is a light one-piece, and the underwear I’m wearing underneath. I’m not even wearing my military uniform. There’s nothing to protect me.
It’s not like when Zebul stripped it all. The act of taking it off by myself is much more embarrassing than I had anticipated. Demons of Lust sure are amazing.
My lips quiver. In a shaking voice, I declare to Leigie-sama.
“… Henceforth… I will be violating you.”
“… I see.”
“… Meaning, I will be completely ignoring your will, and forcefully committing sexual acts with you.”
“… I see.”
Even after embarrassingly declaring that much, the expression on Leigie-sama’s face hasn’t changed in the slightest, and his eyebrows don’t even shift a millimeter.
There isn’t a trace of human emotion. No shyness or fear. While yawning, his absentmindedly-shifting gaze makes it so I’m not even sure if he’s looking at me.
As I confirmed that the flow of my tears had become stronger, my shaking hands moved to remove the top-most button on the one-piece.
The source of this c𝐨ntent is freewe(b)nov𝒆l