Chapter 6: Invidia, Part 1: Become Someone
It was nothing.
From birth, not once have I gained anything, never have I desired anything, never have I known anything.
Not desired by anyone, known by anyone, and even without any desire for life.
A Life where I didn’t even embrace the Original Sin a majority of Demons carry.
Sloth and Greed and Lust and Wrath and Gluttony and Pride and all else, without a sufficient reason for life, and no will.
Before I could become a Plus, perhaps I had to become a Zero first.
I am a mere Minus existence.
In this Demon World, governed by survival of the fittest, Demons without knowledge or power are fated to simply sit and wait for death to take them.
Demons like that were by no means rare, and the imperial capital as well as all the provincial cities were overflowing with such existences.
That’s why I believe it’s just a coincidence that I escaped such a fate.
There are many Demons whose lives aren’t even worth taking, but if I had to say, my luck was good.
There was a man who took me away. There was man who, with a sluggish expression, remained silent, as he let whatever would happen, happen. His black mantle made of well-tailored velvet-like material dragged along the ground, and was always sullied white.
There was a woman who took me away. There was a woman who would let off burning flames that made people she passed on the street tremble, and trampled over the ground as she walked. Her walking staff banged on the ground, as if to scream out its rage in the silent woman’s place.
There was me. There was me who, on the roadside, without will, without meaning, gazed on them by pure coincidence from the edge of the street. And next to me, there were my comrades who looked at them just the same.
The man and the woman, and me, and those beside me never exchanged glances, but at the moment of passing… the man reached out his left arm, and my body… without anything to eat before me, my body that was light and frail compared to those of similar ages… was embraced.
Light and clear hand movements as if he were merely grabbing an apple off of a roadside stand.
My comrades didn’t say anything as they watched me get taken away, and I didn’t say anything either.
From what I heard later, he wanted a pillow. What the hell.
And like that, coincidences piled onto one another, and the Lord of Sloth just happened to be searching for a pillow perfectly my size. By some strange cause and effect, I ended up enlisted in the army of Leigie of the Slaughterdolls.
By the way, this goes without saying, but by the time he held me to his body, Leigie-sama was already asleep.
What happened next wasn’t as interesting.
After returning to the Castle of Shadows, I began a struggle for existence against the inanimate normal pillow he already had in use, and at the same time, the inspector monitoring Leigie-sama, the leader of the Order of Black, Kanon Iralaude said something like, “when did you pick up something so dirty!” in an exhausted voice. When I was about to be disposed of by incineration, I was saved by the maid Lorna, who misunderstood Leigie-sama’s 『Iyo』 in a way favorable to me.
By the time I noticed it, I was dressed up in the sort of pretty clothes a doll would wear, and had the ‘seconds’ that were always made for the million to one chance Leigie-sama would do something as troublesome as actually ask for seconds shoved down my throat. My thoughts finally caught up to me.
Huh? What is this, I thought.
A Demon’s longings aren’t something they decide for themselves. They are something that is automatically obtained from harboring strong desires.
If you harbor multiple Sins, your desire becomes clouded, and your Class growth as a Demon is slowed. That’s why Demons generally subconsciously regulate themselves not to follow any desires besides the ones they pursue.
Without the leisure to seek excess desire, the worst of Demons, where it was merely a miracle I was alive. Given an environment where life was finally sustainable, and finally with some time to give consideration to it, what was the first strong desire that came over me?
What were my strongest feelings?
It was not relief that I was saved, or happy prayers of pure gratitude, or melancholy for my comrades left behind or even self-satisfaction.
This may seem obvious, but it definitely wasn’t Luxuria.
To put it simply… Envy.
Jealousy towards typical Demons who carried on and accepted their lives up until now as if it were natural.
Envy toward the beautiful face of the incarnation of flames who was approaching Demon Lord level with her powerful magic, the one who was born the daughter of a Demon Lord and lead the elite Order of Black, Kanon.
Envy towards the one who was born into a house to serve Leigie-sama, and who received a high level education for that sake alone, Lorna.
Envy towards the right hand man of the Lord of Sloth who headed the army, Overruled any and all sorts of power, and took his Lord’s power to be supreme, Heard Lauder.
It was envy towards everything in this world.
“If possible, I want to change…”
That was the origin of my Original Sin of Envy.
As I was never granted anything, I felt jealousy towards everything instead.
Darker than 『Gula』.
More greedy than 『Avaritia』.
More violent than 『Ira』.
More whimsical than 『Luxuria』.
With less meaning than 『Acedia』.
Nastier than 『Superbia』.
It was nothing but simple, unsightly 『Envy』.
But the moment I obtained it, I thought to myself.
Ah, with this, I finally have a reason to exist.
With this, I can finally become someone.