"You are okay?"
Queen Marianne touched her son's cheek and asked softly.
Nicholas who had been lost in thought was stunned. He stared at his mother's face for a moment then nodded slowly.
"Hm," he replied, smiling bitterly.
"You do your best to cover up your feelings, but don't cover them up in front of your mother." Queen Marianne wiped the tears under Nicholas' eyes with her index finger and then showed it to Nicholas.
"Yes." Nicholas took a deep breath. His chest was really tight. "It hurts but I have no other choice but to accept it, right?"
He shook his head and heaved a long sigh. Queen Marianne was very sad to see her son in that state. She felt that God was so unfair.
In the past, she was not destined to get the love and affection of her husband, the man she loved, and now God made her son also unable to get love from the woman he loved.
Thinking of this made her feel very emotional and she started crying.
"Hi, Mother, I'm fine. Right now it's hard but I'm sure with time things will get better," Nicholas said trying to comfort his mother as he wiped the tears that flowed down the woman's cheeks.
"If my mother was like this I would be even sadder," he added.
"My heart hurts to see you like this," Queen Marianne cried softly.
"It's only temporary. Things will get better with time," Nicholas said. He patted his mother on the back and smiled at her to soothe the old queen.
Actually, he said that not only to comfort his mother but to comfort himself as well. He himself wasn't sure that there would ever be a time when he would actually give up Sophie for Leland without feeling any pain in his heart at all. He didn't know if this wound would ever heal.
"Well, you're right. Things will get better with time." Queen Marianne wiped her tears and tried to regain her composure. Just like Nicholas, she also felt unsure of getting better over time because she knew that Nicholas was like his father.
If he loved someone, he would love that person forever. His love would never fade no matter how long time had passed. Nicholas' father, King William Hannenbergh could never forget the woman he loved even though she married his older brother and died not long after.
After she died, decades later, Queen Marianne was sure her late husband still worshipped that other woman, until the day he died.
So, what about Nicholas? Would he be able to forget Sophie who was clearly still alive plus he had Jan and Luciel who would always connect him with Sophie?
"Ahh... I am fine, we should stop talking about sad things," Queen Marianne touched her son's arm and looked at him fondly. She asked, "Do you want to see Sophie? She seems lonely out there."
Queen Marianne pointed at the balcony where she saw Sophie standing alone, looking at the moon with a somber expression. Even though the distance was quite far and the queen couldn't really see Sophie clearly, she could recognize the dejected gesture that Sophie was showing.
From here, Sophie looked so sad and lonely that it made the queen's heart ache. She really liked Sophie and always regretted the fact that this young woman was her daughter-in-law in the past but they didn't get to have that kind of relationship because of the circumstances surrounding Nicholas' and Sophie's past.
"Come on, let's keep her company," the queen said again. She looked at her son deeply. For a moment Nicholas hesitated but when he saw Sophie, he realized that his mother was right. he also felt that Sophie needed support right now.
"Well, I guess right now she needs a friend," he said after nodding slowly.
"You're right. Let's go see her." Queen Marianne went first, followed by Nicholas.
***
"Sophie, can we come in?"
Sophie was moved from her reverie by the knocks on her door. She turned around and furrowed her brows. She recognized the queen's voice. Why did Queen Marianne come here?
Sophie stepped inside her room and went to open the door. She found Queen Marianne and Nicholas standing in the doorway.
"Can we come in?" Queen Marianne asked again. She had a sweet smile on her face.
"Of course, Your Grace," Sophie replied with a curtsey. "Please, come in."
Sophie, who had been contemplating alone on her balcony, was surprised and confused by the arrival of the king and queen mother of Riga at this late night. She also curtseyed to the king.
Nicholas always looked uncomfortable every time she was doing that to show her respect for him.
The curtsey made him feel the distance between them. It was way too formal. Even if she was no longer his wife, Sophie was still the mother of his children. Nicholas didn't want her to treat him like they were really far apart in status.
She was... his family, at least by being the mother of Luciel and Jan. He wished she could act like she was a member of the royal family, instead of his subject.
"Hello, Sophie," the queen started the conversation. She knew her son was too rigid and would not try to initiate small talk with Sophie because he was being respectful of Sophie's mate. So, as a woman, the queen decided to do the talk. "We came here because we thought you need company."
Sophie looked at the queen and realized Queen Marianne was being sincere. She did feel lonely and wished to have company. She didn't have anyone in this big palace but her children, but they were now asleep and she felt so alone.
"Thank you, Your Grace. You are too kind," Sophie replied with a grateful smile. "I couldn't sleep and decided to sit on my balcony to admire the moon."
Queen Marianne smiled gently and wrapped her hand around Sophie's shoulder.
"There's no need to be so formal, by the way," she said. "I, too, couldn't sleep and thought maybe I should visit you and have chamomile tea to relax our mind and we can admire the moon together."
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