"Anyway..." Nicholas cleared his throat. "I am not an ungrateful man. Even though I still hate you for taking the woman I love, I am thankful for everything that you did for Sophie... and for Luciel and Jan."
Nicholas looked Leland in the eye and spoke so sincerely. "You have protected the people I love. You accepted them, cared for them and you even raised my sons as your own. I am forever indebted to you and I hope someday I could return the favor."
Leland's heart was stirred. He didn't feel that what he did was anything special. He did raise Luciel and Jan. So what? They were amazing kids and he loved them. Except for the fact that his blood didn't run in their veins, they were as much as his just like little Anne and little Jack.
However, as before, Leland didn't say anything. His focus was now on his wine cup as he continued sipping his wine nonchalantly.
"I have been thinking hard for the past few months," Nicholas continued his words. "I realized that my chance to go back to being with Sophie is slim. I have wronged her and made so many mistakes that I know I don't deserve her. While you.. on the other hand, have collected so many points that I don't think I can ever catch up."
Leland was surprised to hear Nicholas say those words. Did this mean Nicholas was admitting defeat? He would stop pursuing Sophie?
Nicholas downed his wine and poured more from the jug into his cup. He had really thought about this and came to that decision. He loved Sophie so much that he knew he would never open his heart to another woman.
However, now, he had to be realistic. Sophie was already married to Leland for six years and built a good family together with him. What Nicholas and Sophie had was left in the past.
Six years was a long time and he had lost his chance when he left many years ago.
It was also not fair to subject her to a stressful situation if Nicholas insisted to stay in her life. He could see how it made her uncomfortable. From all angles, Nicholas was in a bad spot.
Now that he was older and more mature, he must understand that sometimes he just had to give up and take what he could get. He could not take back Sophie, but at least... he could still have a relationship with Luciel and Jan.
That was what he wanted to ask Leland today.
"I hope the babies are fine," Nicholas said casually, referring to the babies Sophie gave birth to Leland. He also could hear the heart beats when he met Sophie and could tell that there was more than one fetus in her womb. "You must be overjoyed."
Leland nodded very lightly. Nicholas could see a glint in his eyes when his babies were mentioned. There were pride and warmth. This made Nicholas know that he was touching the right spot. Perhaps, now that Leland already had his biological children, he could be more sympathetic to Nicholas's situation.
If he were in Nicholas' shoes, would he not try to make up for what happened and make the effort to have a relationship with his own children?
"They must be adorable," Nicholas smiled. "I missed the birth of mine and the first six years of their lives. I envy you."
He was telling the truth, but this time there was no hint of resentment. He was merely stating facts.
Leland put down his wine cup and looked at Nicholas carefully. The Alpha was wondering what exactly the man before him wanted from him.
"I really want to make up for what happened, and be there for my sons from now on," Nicholas didn't beat around the bush. "Tell me what I need to do to have that opportunity again."
Leland was still silent.
Nicholas added, "I will do anything for them. I just want to be in my children's lives. I want them to know that I, their father, love them, even though I failed them in the past, I won't fail them again."
He couldn't help but become emotional. He remembered how cold his father was toward him. There was no warmth, there was no love, and sometimes he questioned why was he brought into this world?
Nicholas didn't want his children to experience the same thing, feeling rejected by their own father. He didn't know if Leland and Sophie told the boys that their biological father was still alive or if he was dead, but no matter what, sooner or later the truth would prevail and they would know that Nicholas was still alive.
"My father was distant and we didn't have a real relationship," Nicholas explained. He smiled bitterly. "He was the reason I was a lousy husband and father. I was too busy proving myself to him, to gain his acceptance and approval, that I hated myself so badly. I was too focused on getting rid of the lycanthropy so I could become human again - because my father hated lycans. All at the expense of my family: Sophie and my children."
"I am a different man now. If I could turn back time, I would surely make different choices. I would make sure to be there for them," Nicholas sighed. He took his wine cup and downed his wine. "I think you should understand what I mean."
Leland still didn't say anything but he did understand what Nicholas was trying to say. He actually appreciated that Nicholas was sharing this with him. Perhaps, deep inside, because Leland loved Luciel and Jan, he, too, didn't want them to feel rejected by their biological father.
Knowing that Nicholas truly loved them, and not only used them to get back together with Sophie made Leland grow a bit of respect for Nicholas.
Hearing how Nicholas didn't have a good relationship with his own father, Leland was reminded of his own experience with his father, Alpha Leon.
It looked like he and Nicholas had more things in common than what they let on.
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