After he regained his composure, Nicholas decided to return to the hut by the forest and reminisce whatever he could remember from his time there. His mind was filled with possibilities.
If Sophia Romanov was really Sophia Hansley, she was his wife... Nicholas must go and find her.
Gosh, he was so tempted to go back to the capital right at this instant. However, he realized, he shouldn't waste the opportunity while he was here, to find out more info about his past and his relationship with Sophia.
He needed to know what happened to him, that he lost his memory and was later found by Karenina by the edge of the forest, on the other side of Sophie's hut.
With that thought in mind, Nicholas returned to the hut. He ran as fast as he could and reached the place shortly after. His horse was still there, in the yard. Nicholas gave him food and water and let the animal rest.
Then, he stepped inside the hut and once again observed his surroundings. The pitiful condition made his heart ache.
Sophia Hansley must be really poor and she lived in suffering. If she had met Duke Romanov after she went away from Blackwoods... maybe to look for Nicholas, she must have had a much better life.
Nicholas knew the duke's reputation. He was very wealthy and quite powerful. His connection in the underground was the talk subject of endless gossip in the capital. Sophie seemed to be doing well.
This made Nicholas feel upset.
HE could also provide a great life for Sophie. No, not just great, but even better than what Duke Ariam Romanov gave her. Nicholas could make her the queen of this kingdom, and their sons would be the heir to the throne.
The king clenched his fists to the sides. Was still there a chance for him to make up for what happened in the past? Would Sophie forgive him and understand that he didn't mean to leave her?
Would he still be able to take back his family from... that dangerous man?
Nicholas sighed. He took out a bottle of wine from the bag he brought inside and found one cup from the cupboard to pour wine into. He had not eaten anything all day today and started feeling hungry.
Maybe he should hunt prey for dinner and then sleep. Tomorrow was going to be a long day because he would continue his investigation in the forest to find out what happened to him between this hut and Karenina's home.
Nicholas was dying for an answer. He downed his wine and put the cup on the small table by the fireplace. He proceeded to take off his clothes and transformed into his wolf form.
Hunting would be much easier being a lycan, he thought to himself. He remembered the first time he shifted was only last week, but now he had already felt so comfortable in his second skin.
He liked the speed, the strength, and the senses. They were all much better than human's. Nicholas ran past the door, startling his horse outside, and disappeared into the dense forest. He returned soon after with a small deer in his mouth.
He bit the deer's neck with his fangs and easily dragged the animal toward the hut. After he tossed the carcass on the terrace, Nicholas was conflicted, whether he should just eat the meat raw... in his wolf form, or if he should roast it in the fireplace.
After he thought about it, he decided to roast the meat on fire. Even though he was tempted by his animal instinct to eat the meat raw, he thought it was too drastic and he might throw up in the process.
Better to go through a bit of a hassle. He didn't want to be like those monsters. They were not civilized humans. They were... barbaric.
With that decision, he shifted back into his human form and worked on the deer to prepare grilled meat for dinner.
One hour later, the man was already sitting by the fireplace, enjoying his grilled venison. After he felt full, Nicholas tried to sleep on the small creaky wooden bed to get some rest.
He tossed and turned all night long. He couldn't shut off his mind from thinking about Sophie... and their children.
***
The next day, Nicholas finally fell asleep when dawn came and he woke up after the sun was high in the sky. After he washed his face and drank some water, he got ready to go out and explore the forest.
He flashed through the trees and through the thicket. He had managed to calm himself and decided to continue his investigation in Blackwoods, even though he really wanted to go back to the capital.
Armed with his hazy memory, Nicholas explored the forest and found out the cause of his memory loss. Time went on and it was now getting dark. Nicholas, who had been walking through the forest from one end to the other, finally arrived at a cave.
Originally he planned to rest for a while in that place. However, when he stood at the mouth of the cave, he felt that the atmosphere in the cave was quite familiar. Again he didn't remember anything.
The sound of his footsteps echoed as he stepped inside. Nicholas held his head for a moment as the pain stung again. Luckily it didn't last as long as before.
Nicholas slowly began to understand the symptoms. He always had a headache when he was at a place or meeting people related to his lost past.
Unknowingly, his body was always giving him hints. The pain was a signal that told him when he entered a place he had been to before.
Nicholas looked around in all directions. The cave looked clean as if someone actually cleared it up before. But then his gaze focused on a book he accidentally saw lying on the cave floor. Out of curiosity, he approached and picked up the book.
His brows furrowed as he quickly realized that the book was an almanac that came from the Riga Kingdom library.
"How did this book end up here?" he muttered.
Dust flew as he patted the almanac before he opened it. Nicholas then slowly read its contents. It turned out that the almanac contained a variety of herb recipes.
Nicholas only skimmed and flipped through page after page quickly, and his eyes suddenly widened when he finally came to a page containing the potion wolfsbane, which could cure lycanthropy.
A conjecture suddenly appeared in Nicholas' mind. He suspected that he might have used the prescription to heal himself from lycanthropy. However, due to the wrong dose or other problems, the wolfsbane didn't cure him, instead, it made him lose his memory, fall ill, hallucinate and finally... he was found by Karenina.
That was the story his mother and even Karenina told him.
Nicholas walked briskly out of the cave. His heart thundered by the realization. Now, he understood what actually went on six years ago.
Gosh...
He really wanted to smack himself in the head. He was no expert in lycanthropy but he was so careless and took the wolfsbane to 'cure' him, without proper research and understanding of the effects.
And now, he had lost the love of his life, because of one rushed and naive decision on his part.
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