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The night was as cool as water.
The courtyards along Zhuque Street were shrouded in silence.
Princess Xinyang woke up. Yu Jin entered the room carrying a basin of warm water and asked, "How do you feel, Princess?"
Sitting at the edge of the bed, Princess Xinyang calmly responded with a question, "Did I faint again just now?"
Yu Jin replied, still a little scared, "Yes, fortunately, you fainted on the bed. Otherwise, it could have been quite dangerous if you had hit something while falling."
There was a time when Princess Xinyang had fainted by the lakeside. Coincidentally, Long Yi was out running errands, and Yu Jin didn't manage to grab hold of her in time. Both of them ended up falling into the lake.
Looking at the newly formed puncture marks in the crook of her elbow, Princess Xinyang had a pretty good guess that Gu Jiao had visited her, "Did that girl give me some strange stuff again?"
Yu Jin smiled, "We have Physician Gu to thank for this."
Princess Xinyang muttered, "I wonder where she learned those peculiar skills of hers?"
Yu Jin helped Princess Xinyang wash her face. Afterwards, she brought over the pills left by Gu Jiao and poured a glass of warm water for her, "Physician Gu said that starting today, you should take this additional medicine."
"Alright." Princess Xinyang agreed. It wasn't bitter, so she didn't mind taking it.
After taking the medicine, Princess Xinyang felt a bit hungry.
Yu Jin brought over a bowl of millet porridge, placing a small table by the bed, "Physician Gu instructed the kitchen to prepare millet porridge before she left. She said to have a little when you wake up, and to keep your diet light these days."
Princess Xinyang scooped a spoonful of millet porridge, saying, "You can’t stop mentioning her, can’t you? Have you fallen under her spell or started following her teachings?"
Yu Jin laughed and sat down by the bed.
Princess Xinyang took a few spoonfuls of the porridge but soon lost her appetite again. She didn't feel like eating much.
Yu Jin encouraged, "Try to eat a little more."
Princess Xinyang turned her face away, "I'm not hungry anymore."
Yu Jin pushed the bowl towards her, "Have five more spoonfuls."
"...Haa, fine."
With a sigh, Princess Xinyang reluctantly forced herself to eat a few more spoonfuls.
After finishing her meal, seeing that Yu Jin was still there, Princess Xinyang asked, "What is it? Do you have something else to say?"
Yu Jin hesitated for a moment and then gathered her courage to speak, "Princess, do you really... hate Little Marquis that much?"
Princess Xinyang's expression turned faint, "Why bring him up?"
Yu Jin continued, "Ever since leaving the medical hall, your mood hasn't been right. He's living in such a miserable state now, worse than being dead. If you truly hate him, seeing him like this should make you feel happy. But instead, you fainted out of distress. Princess, in your heart... you still care about Little Marquis, don’t you?"
"You're talking nonsense again." Princess Xinyang retorted, shoving another spoonful of millet porridge into her mouth.
Having served her for years, Yu Jin knew her temperament well. When she kept eating even when she claimed she wasn't hungry, it meant that her words had struck a chord.
With a touch of bitterness, Yu Jin said, "I'm not talking nonsense. The fire back then wasn't caused by Princess at all. You softened at the critical moment. Deep down, you've never been able to let go of the maternal bond with Little Marquis. If that's the case, why not acknowledge him? It wasn't his fault back then. He was just an innocent child. The events of the past were not your negligence either. Princess, please don't torture Little Marquis anymore, and stop tormenting yourself as well!"
Princess Xinyang's expression became complicated.
She opened her mouth as if she wanted to speak, but hesitated. Then, she gently placed the spoon down and pondered, "There was someone else responsible for that fire, but I've never been able to find out who it was. And also..."
"And also what?" Yu Jin inquired.
Sighing, Princess Xinyang spoke softly, "Never mind, it's nothing."
……
After the group returned to Bishui Alley, Little San drove the carriage back to the medical hall.
Gu Jiao carried the sleeping Little Jing Kong without giving Xiao Liulang a chance to refuse, and moved him to the bed. Xiao Liulang glanced at his bandaged hand and then at his weakened right foot, a trace of disgust flickered in his brows.
—Disgust directed at himself.
Little Jing Kong was covered in mud from playing, so Gu Jiao placed a mat on the bed before laying him down, and then she went to the kitchen to fetch warm water.
"I'll do it." Xiao Liulang said.
Bathing him had always been something that Little Jing Kong hadn't allowed Gu Jiao to do since he was a child. It was either Xiao Liulang, Gu Xiaoshun, or Gu Yan who helped him bathe.
"Alright." Gu Jiao used her foot to pull over a stool and arranged the water basin and towels.
Xiao Liulang carefully turned Little Jing Kong over, cleaned his body, and changed his clothes. Despite the activity, Little Jing Kong remained fast asleep.
Gu Jiao leaned against the wardrobe with her arms crossed, raising an eyebrow lazily, "What did he do today? He looks so exhausted."
——He went off causing trouble with Long Yi, messing around with Princess Xinyang’s flowers.
Xiao Liulang didn’t say that aloud.
After he was done cleaning Little Jing Kong, Xiao Liulang intended to pour the water out, but Gu Jiao had already carried the basin away.
These were trivial matters of daily life, but when small things accumulated, they became significant. From his initial indifference to now, he couldn't ignore it anymore.
He used to not care about his life or his disabilities because he believed that he should live in purgatory with his sins.
But what was her fault in all of this? Why should she be burdened with someone as unworthy as himself?
He had once deluded himself into thinking that if he tried hard enough, perhaps they could have a peaceful life together.
However, when the truth was finally revealed and all his secrets were laid bare, it felt as though every veil had been torn away, leaving him defenseless. He realized that all his efforts were so fragile in the face of the truth.
He was the son of a lowly female slave, carrying lowly and dirty blood in his veins. His birth was a crime, and his survival was a crime. He trod upon the bones of his own brother. He wasn't deserving of touching anything beautiful.
Marquis Gu was right; he was unworthy of her. The likes of him should distance himself from her.
Sitting in the room for a while, Xiao Liulang didn't hear any sounds indicating that she had gone back to the east room to rest. Instead, he heard faint noises coming from the yard.
At this late hour, everyone had gone to sleep. What was she doing tossing around in the yard and not going to bed?
He considered going to see what was happening but then felt he shouldn't.
Since he had decided to let go, anything she did was no longer his concern.
She was still young and would eventually come to understand that there were many good men in the world, and he was someone she should never have encountered.
He closed his eyes, trying to steel his heart, yet he couldn't ignore the commotion in the yard in the end.
Fine.
Saying goodbye was inevitable, and sometimes it was better to do it sooner rather than later.
"Waaah~" Little Jing Kong on the bed mumbled in his sleep and kicked the quilt off.
Xiao Liulang walked over, pulled the quilt back up, and tucked him in it.
Afterward, he left the room and followed the sound to the backyard.
However, what he saw in front of him left him utterly stunned.
In the tranquil courtyard under the chilly moonlight, her lone figure was hunched over, stepping on a stone stool to saw a piece of wood.
Her stature had grown taller compared to two years ago, but she still appeared delicate and slender as a woman should.
Perhaps not wanting to disturb the slumber of her family, her movements seemed light but were actually exerting a lot of effort. It was much more challenging than swinging the saw freely.
In just a short time, fine beads of sweat had formed on her forehead.
Xiao Liulang walked over and asked questioningly, "What are you doing?"
"Did I disturb your sleep?" Gu Jiao asked him.
Xiao Liulang shook his head, "No, I haven't slept yet."
With that, his gaze landed on the saw in her hands and the piece of wood.
Gu Jiao curved her lips into a smile and said, "You lost your cane, so I'm making a new one for you."
Raz P.'s Thoughts
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