Chapter 78 - Sorry II
"I'm sorry."
Sam and I halted upon dropping those two words simultaneously. I pursed my lips into a thin line while Sam awkwardly rocked his head back and forth.
"I..."
"I..."
Again, we spoke at the same time. I bit my lower lip, repressing the smile from resurfacing on my lips.
Sam gestured to me to speak first. "Ladies first."
"No, you can speak first." I beckoned, stopping the giggle that was tempting to come out.
"Alright..." Sam nodded as he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry..."
Sam trailed off as he remained silent momentarily. When he opened his lips once again, he raised his eyes and looked me in the eye.
"I was... afraid." He said.
I furrowed my brows. That wasn't what I expected him to say. Sam being afraid? That sounded unbelievably... odd.
Sam was the type of man who enjoyed bragging. All the things he bragged about were facts, though. So, no one could really argue about that.
"In the past, I didn't mind going to the capital. Even when I received the royal summoning from the king, I felt nothing." Sam explained, without looking away from me.
"But when we set off, knowing we're getting closer and closer to that place, this fear crept into me. Deep down, I know that to keep you safe, you're bound to see the Samael La Crox, I've despised."
Sam paused and let out a faint sigh.
"And that... scares me."
"Sam..." My heart warmed up upon hearing his honesty. Perhaps this restlessness within me was not because the capital terrified me.
Perhaps it was because I instinctively felt his unspoken worries. Things that we needed to discuss and deal with before we reach the Capital.
"If I detest it, I'm scared you would as well, Lil." Sam winced slightly, clenching his teeth. The desperation in his tone sounded distinct.
"I didn't want to lose you because of it. So, when you saw that part of me the first time, I didn't think twice and rob it from you. I'm sorry."
He then looked down. His voice laced with genuine regret and lament.
Slowly, I took a step forward. I reached out my hands to his hands tainted with blood.
A subtle smile turned up on my lips upon holding his hand. I guided it towards me, placing it on my cheek as I looked up.
Sam's eyes slightly went wide before they softened. These were his eyes, as well as those eyes full of killing intent.
They're all his. And that was what made him Samael La Crox.
"You were right. I should've trusted your heart and let you decide whether you'd accept it or don't want to." Sam acknowledged, humbling himself in front of me.
A man who would never bow down to anyone humbled himself. He was the bigger person than I thought.
"And then decide whether to erase your memory if you didn't like that part of me." Sam added.
I chuckled as soon as I heard his last remarks. That's the Sam I knew; straightforward and possessive.
"I'm trapped with you, aren't I?" I muttered, recalling his very words on the first day of our engagement.
"You are. You're practically a bird in an enormous cage." Sam admitted, not denying how my life looked in his perspective.
He caressed my cheek with his thumb. Offering a gentle smile.
It might sound terrible — it was. But a peasant was never ambitious.
"I'm the freest with you. So, as long as you're inside the same cage, I don't mind." I shrugged and relayed my honest thoughts.
"I like you when you're being gentle and considerate. And I will still love you even if you sacrifice a thousand just to save me."
I smiled, and my other hand reached to cup his jaw. "You're not the only one who had their dark side, Sam. You don't have to change for me. I will love all of you, regardless."
"Lil." Sam's voice softened, moved at my words.
"So, let me see them all. Even if you despised that side of you, I'll love it harder for you. I'd break my heart in many pieces if that means to complete you. So, don't hide from me, hmm?" I shot him an encouraging look, nodding slightly.
"Trust me. Just like how you always want me to trust you. Because... you're mine, and I, yours."
"Goodness." Sam let out a heavy sigh, grabbing my wrist, and pulled me into his embrace.
That second, I melted. This was all I needed all along. Not his apology, but his warmth.
I found my comfort in his chest, resting my head on it. Slowly, my arms wrapped around his waist.
The scent of blood from his clothes wafted my nose. But I didn't care, nor did it bother me in the slightest.
"How foolish of me to forget you're a silly bunny." He whispered in relief.
I smiled and pouted. "But I will really get angry if you erase my memory once again. I don't even know you can do that."
"Well," Sam cleared his throat, stroking back back gently. "I didn't know you didn't know. Fabian is a chatterbox."
Chuckles followed from the two of us. How nice it was to make up after arguing. I didn't know if this was normal, but it felt good that we dealt with it like this.
"By the way," when Sam broke away from our hug, he spoke. "Where are you heading just now?"
He asked. I looked up, furrowing my brows, wondering what he meant.
"When you open the door." Sam clarified.
I nodded in understanding. "To you." I answered, unhesitatingly.
"To talk to me?" He raised a brow.
"No." I shook my head. "To force out an apology from you."
Sam's eyes fastened with fascination. But I sighed. "But you're here and said all that. I can't abuse my power now."
"Abuse your power?"
"Mhm! Even though I'm your bride, I'm still your reserve meal! Losing your reserve meal means you will starve you! We still have a long way to go before the Capital. You'll starve, you know... doesn't that terrify you?"
Silence. The air fell into nothing but silence.
I looked away because now that I said it; it sounded embarrassing and not threatening. I still have a long way to go to actually sound intimidating.
"Pfft—!" Sam broke into laughter, which startled me.
Goodness gracious. Let me evaporate right now.
"Oh, Lilove." Sam shook his head, and in one swift movement, I shrieked as he carried me into his embrace.
"That actually sounds... scary." He cocked his head to me, grinning wickedly.
"It is?"
"It is." Sam narrowed his eyes and nodded. He then kicked the door open and marched inside.
"You know what I think best to do after having a quarrel?" He asked, closing the door with his foot.
"What?" I asked with a furrowed brow. The corner of his lips stretched from ear to ear before he laid me down on the bed.
His hands on either side of my head. His eyes hovering over me as they gradually grew darker.
"Make love." He whispered as he bent down, crashing his lips against mine.
Mhm... he's right.
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