"... I will let you go."
Silvia tried to hide away the pain that had been slowly and painfully eating her from the inside but failed miserably. She couldn't understand men. Be it Rufus or Yulis. Why did the two of them toss her so easily when things were hard? Just what was wrong with her?
"Three years, Yul. Not a word from you for three years. And yet, I waited for you every single day and even sacrifice sleep, thinking you might come." She took a deep breath, clasping her hands until they trembled. "I missed you, you don't have any idea. But... why? Why are you choosing to hurt me? Was my worth that little to you?"
That question was not entirely correct or wrong, she thought. Yulis's terse letter to her when he left the empire was clear. He already ended it with her. But she was the one who held onto him. She was the one who didn't want to give up. In other words, Silvia's pain... she believed it was her fault entirely.
Yulis took a deep breath and released it carefully through his mouth. "Let me go... that is what I had been practicing on saying." But those words brought more pain to his heart.
"The only reason I am standing before you is because of Lady Tilly. I am dying, Silvia, and I'd rather spend these uncertain years alone," he continued, gazing down as he laughed bitterly. "Let me go. You have a great life ahead of you. Don't hold on to a dying man who caused you pain already."
He finally said it. The words he practiced repeatedly for months. Although it wasn't complete, he made his point across.
"I'm sorry, Silvia." Yulis raised his head only for the fleeting peace within him to end as soon as he caught the tear that rolled down her cheek. Silvia was trying too hard not to cry, but her eyes still betrayed her. He balled his hands into a fist, clenching his teeth to stop himself from wiping her tears.
"You are a selfish bastard," came out a shaking yet bitter voice.
His lips quivered, but no words came out. If he watched her tears, even more, his defenses would break. He turned around while clearing his throat.
"Anyway, it was good to see you again. I cannot escort you back." He took a step away but froze when Silvia spoke.
"I love you." She stared at his back, standing still on her spot. "Did you hear me? I love you that I don't care if you only have a day to live. I want to spend even just another minute with you, even if it will kill me. Were you ending this because you think it's the best for me? What do you know?"
The side of her lips curled up bitterly, shaking her head. "Men surely think they can always decide what's best for women. When, in fact, men are a bunch of simpletons. How disappointing, disgusting, and upsetting."
Yulis closed his eyes and heaved a sigh of relief. That was better. For her to hate him, he thought. He repeated that in his head like a broken record as he took another step away from her. But when he took his fifth step, he stopped once again.
"Silvia, don't follow me." He breathed out, hearing her footstep every time he took a step.
"How dare you order me?" she raised a brow, wiping her tears with grace. She sported a brave expression, eyes on his back. Her eyes glinted, and she leaped as soon as she noticed him turning around to face her.
"Sil — " Yulis backed away on instinct, but she held his button to keep him still. His eyes dilated, gazing at her eyes. There were still lingering tears in the corner of her eyes, but unlike moments ago, they now spoke with determination.
"Yulis, since you're doing whatever you like, I will also do what I want," she asserted, leaving no room for negotiation. "Have you forgotten who I was, Yulis? I don't have a title on this land I am standing on, but I was and will always be Silvia Ameria La Crox wherever I go. I am just as capable as you."
"Silvia, didn't you say you will let me go?"
"Is it my fault that you fell into such an obvious bluff?" she arched a brow, releasing the button of his suit. "Men think they should decide for women and their happiness. I am sick and tired of it. Shameless beings like men shall be exterminated."
Yulis scratched his temple in distress, rendered speechless by the sudden turn of events. But before he could argue with her, Silvia huffed as she expressed her heart.
"Don't misunderstand, Yulis. You made your decision, and so am I." She chuckled in ridiculing, sporting a vicious smirk. "I am not holding on to you like a hopeless little girl. I am doing this as the flames of revenge engulfed my heart."
She took a step, lifting her chin up to look at him squarely. "I will hold on to you and shower you with love. To the point, you will die without it and feel breathless with the sheer thought of me leaving you. It will keep you awake, worrying if I would still love you the same the next day or not. Once you are obsessed with this love, I will laugh at you on your deathbed. I will toss you aside and let you wallow in the same pain you had inflicted upon me." Her breathing suspended as she balled her hands into a fist, glaring daggers at him.
"You better prepare, Yulis. For I am set to hurt you as much as possible. You will wish you never met me."
Although she appeared to be extremely angry, Yulis couldn't seem to get angry at her. Instead, his dilated eyes gradually softened as a helpless smile resurfaced on his face. Surely, he had forgotten who Silvia was. On top of being a beauty, she was also smart and vicious.
But that revenge she was talking about... somehow sounded very reassuring. Instead of words of affection, her angry voice and vengeful remarks were better for him. It gave him a reason why... he must be with her. That was to fulfill the revenge she was aiming for.
"Alright," came out a soft voice, raising his hand to cup her cheek. "Do that, Via.. Make me regret ever meeting you."
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