Chapter 548 - The Memory He Saw Before Death
"My question might sound stupid and cringe, but have you ever loved before?"
Fabian snickered as he pressed on his wound to stop the bleeding. It was a good thing he was used to the pain, so he wasn't writhing on the ground and making himself look so pathetic. Still, this wound was fatal.
"Have I ever loved before?" he muttered with a weak chuckle, turning around to face Stefan. "What a stupid thing to ask, indeed."
"Haha! As expected from you."
"Love... People who had always done business with that complicated thing had surrounded me as of recently. And all of them, I can say they've all become foolish because of it." Fabian coughed weakly, making him wince as blood squirted from his fresh wound while he was still pressing on it. "From the duke of Grimsbanne to the Marchioness of La Lona, and then Rufus and your ex-wife, the Princess of the Cross Kingdom, Dame Kristina, and Duke Noah... and then you, Your Highness. You are all so complicated, wanting to attain such a thing."
Fabian breathed in and out heavily, staring at Stefan and smiling weakly. "What is so special in that thing called love? When it forms in someone's life, they will do everything to get it. How dangerous that a simple rejection was never considered an answer."
"Love... is something I will never want," he added after a brief pause. "Because Love, that intense feeling, when is rejected and when it has nowhere to go, turns into obsession and madness, leading to blood and death and sorrow and tragedy. How complicated."
Stefan's eyes softened while listening to Fabian's thoughts about this 'out of topic' question. Or was it truly out of topic? After all, that was what drove him to this point; his intense feelings towards Lilou. Whether it was called love or hate or just an obsession, Fabian had a point.
A love, when it had nowhere to go to, would lead to something disastrous. At least, that was the case for him, for Stefan only yearned for one thing or person: Lilou. But obviously, that was also the only thing he could never have because someone already had her heart — someone already stole her love that was meant for him.
And he would never be happy unless he was part of her happiness. A selfish and greedy love; something that would want to monopolize and never to be shared.
"How lucky," Stefan laughed in a low tone, gazing at the wretched appearance of the ever neat butler. "That you were able to avoid such complicated and petty things."
Fabian shrugged, lips turning pale from the blood loss. But well, this conversation was giving him enough time to rest as he was slowly growing numb at the pain and was able to stop the bleeding from the inside.
"But you're wrong on one thing, Butler. Love never changes, people do. Be it because of the circumstances or interference of another person, it had always been that way. Love is not a complicated thing, but people are naturally complicated beings," Stefan argued softly as he gazed at Fabian's feet, watching the blood dripping reduce significantly.
"If Lilou didn't change, this won't happen... although I am partially at fault for making her a fool. But still, if she truly loved me as she claimed in the past, she would've at least shown the second hesitation in her current love. If only she considered me or pretended she did, I will probably accept that thing called rejection." Stefan continued, as he raised his head to meet Fabian's gaze. "But alas, she didn't. Lilou will forgive and give Hell a thousand chances, while she wouldn't even give me just one chance. It's unfair that this life favored the detestable Hell. Why would everyone forgive such a person when all he did from the very beginning was to think of himself?"
Stefan paused as his eyes glinted with hatred the more he thought about the privileges Samael achieved without even trying. "And yet, someone like me, who carried the weight of the crown, who sacrificed my happiness, my woman, my life, shouldn't be forgiven? My wish is simple. I was willing to give up the power I held if Hell gave her up and let us be. But obviously, that simple wish isn't simple to others — it's too much, isn't it?"
Fabian didn't respond anymore and just listened. Was Stefan asking too much? If Fabian was going to answer, from his point of view, it wasn't too much. It was actually very simple that it was hilarious to think. But that was where the problem lied. One couldn't change a person's heart that easily.
Just like Maxine and Acheron, even when they knew the people they devoted their life to just saw them as disposable pawns, it was already too late for them to walk away. Knowing Lilou, the reason she didn't give Stefan a chance, was that she knew it was pointless and didn't want to give him false hope. She couldn't change her heart anymore and pour her love into another man.
"Until the end, I still cannot understand Love." Fabian breathed out and chuckled weakly, watching Stefan raise his sword once again. "Until the end... I cannot understand you, Ru."
As the blood and darkfield thickened, Fabian knew they were reaching the end of this. Right now, with his current state, it was clear to Fabian about the outcome of this battle.
He would die tonight.
In a blink of an eye, Stefan appeared in front of him and swung his sword to the side. Fabian deflected it, but he still flew away with the impact. Mid-air, Stefan appeared behind him and kicked his back. Blood escaped Fabian's mouth as he crash down. But before he could land, Stefan reappeared in front of him again and swung his sword without hesitation.
Their routine repeated for a long time. Stefan attacked him one after another while Fabian blocked them, albeit not everything. Wounds and slashes kept adding to his skin while blood soaked his uniform. After the long exchange of blows, Fabian blocked Stefan's sword once again, but... Maleficent broke and the former's blade slashed across Fabian's chest before kicking him.
That instant, Fabian crashed on the concrete ground. He felt his spine crack slightly as he gasped for air.
'I'm sorry, Your Majesty,' he apologized internally with a weak smile, staring at the black and red above him. 'This is why fighting to protect is never my style. It only demotivates me more.'
How silly of him, but that was true. Fighting while avoiding hurting others was never Fabian's style. But if he fought just like in the past, he needed another century to recover his calm state of mind.
"Ugh..." he wince when Stefan stepped on his chest, holding his sword to the side.
"It was a long life, Butler," Stefan spoke solemnly, gazing down at Fabian while raising his sword up. "I thought you will fight even if it means awakening the devil within you, but I guess even you are afraid of him."
Fabian's weak smile persisted as he stared at the tip of the sword that glinted. "It was... indeed, a very long... life."
'Tea.'
Suddenly, Fabian heard a woman's soft voice inside his head, along with the sound of a ringing bell. A low chuckle slipped past the butler's lips, as he didn't expect that this unimportant memory would be the one he would see before death.
A memory he deemed not important back when he was in the forbidden land in the breeding grounds of vampires years ago.. A memory of that strange girl and her long white hair that reached the ground.
R𝑒ad latest chapt𝒆rs at freew𝒆(b)novel.c(o)m Only