Chapter 401 - [Bonus ]The Girl That I Knew
"... A lot."
"It is." the clan leader nodded, wiping his hand with a cloth without showing any emotion. "The Bloodfang is full of corrupted people. It's saddening."
"You don't sound like it, though."
He quirked a brow, putting down the white cloth on the side of his plate. "Should I weep to prove my emotions?"
"No, sir." I shook my head profusely.
"Haha! Leader, isn't this child cute?" a man whose smile never left his face finally broke his silence. Unlike the clan leader, this person had a lighter aura that would make anyone feel carefree.
"So there's only five of us who truly adhere to the late Queen's wishes." Another one spoke as he let out a deep sigh. "No wonder this child went through all that."
"The Moriarty's surely played us. How sad that I can't go there to rip them all apart with my bare hands."
"What the Moriarty did is not their fault, it's mine for falling for this cheap trick." The clan leader uttered solemnly, spreading his hand on the edge of the table as he gazed at the four of us. His eyes then settled on me.
"Child, forgive me that you had to go through that pain because of my mistake." He bowed his head, humbling himself, which made me feel more disconcerted. "Now that only us remained, you do not have to worry about the voices anymore."
"We're not chatterbox and we like being in peace," the carefree man chimed in. I doubt he wasn't a chatterbox.
"Is this good news?" I asked, knowing how stupid it may sound, but I need confirmation.
The clan leader nodded. "You can now wake up and be with that infuriating beast." His aura suddenly felt stronger, irked by something I didn't know about.
"Hehe! Clan leader, who would have thought that he will be your family?"
"Shut it."
"Hahaha! The twist in life never ceased to amaze me!"
I watched the other members of the clan teased the clan leader, while the latter kept his stoic face. A subtle smile showed up on my lips. They didn't look like bad people.
"Thank you, Leader," I expressed in a soft voice. My sudden sentiments made them stop and look at me.
"Thank you for saving me."
The clan leader didn't have a change of emotion, but he nodded. Meanwhile, the playful man grinned from ear to ear. I wanted to ask them if Leader was my father, but I couldn't. I was also certain he wouldn't answer me, as he was a prideful person.
"My niece, do you plan on waking up now?" the carefree man who seemed he didn't have worry in the world perked up to me. I nodded as an answer, as I didn't have any reason to stay.
"Hmm..." he glanced at the clan leader before looking back at me. "You should drop by somewhere."
"Pardon?"
"Somewhere!" he said, and my brows knitted even more. "Didn't you store someone inside you? Don't you want to see her? I think you need to have a clear head before waking up."
"Someone inside me..." I mumbled, tilting my head to the side. The man who called me niece just smiled warmly.
"Go see her." He waved before resting his jaw on his knuckles.
Honestly, I didn't know who he was talking about as they slowly faded from my sight. I called out and reached my hand to stop them from leaving, but they didn't listen.
And once again, I was trapped in darkness all alone.
"I didn't even know how to wake up," I mumbled while clicking my tongue. This time, I didn't stay in one spot as I wandered in the dark. I didn't have a destination, but I continued,
When I blinked, I was already standing on the top of the hill where I used to live. "Huh?"
"You came?!"
Suddenly, a familiar voice came from my side, and I instinctively turned my head to her. My eyes widened as soon as I laid my gaze upon her bright smile.
"Lilou..." it was the younger version of myself — the girl from two years ago.
******
Ignorance was bliss. Whoever said that he was correct. I remembered the time I was ignorant. My problems at that time were what to eat for the day and not becoming someone else's food.
The more I looked back on my life back then to now, I missed her.
The young maiden who was blissful with little blessings in life. The girl whose eyes would light up upon the sight of meat in her stew, and how carefree she ran through the fields with the children. She didn't mind getting dirt on her worn-out clothes, nor was she ever bothered getting her hair all tangled up.
Not that those things bothered her in the present. But she was not that person anymore.
Her eyes now would remain unmoved the second she opened her eyes in the morning. She doesn't look forward to playing with the children, nor does she thoughtlessly complain about her sore body. She doesn't just smile at the silly things, she now smiles even in front of the people she abhorred.
She used to cry when she was sad, but now, no matter how devastated she was, not a single tear would fall.
I thought it was because she had become stronger, but I was wrong. She was simply... scared, and she didn't have a choice.
She was scared of a lot of things. But what terrified her the most was happiness.
Happiness frightened her because she had known for a long time that it could get taken away from her easily. She had to protect her heart, be cautious of all time, and embrace herself for whatever bad news that would come her way.
So, she changed. A change that she couldn't even recognize herself.
I felt sorry for her.
But, at the same time, I root for her.
Why?
Because she didn't regret a thing.
From the point, Samael came into her life asking for her hand, to the time he had knelt down in front of her bearing the sincerity she had never seen in a person's eyes, and until how those eyes teared up for hurting her.
He may not be perfect. He may be selfish, unreasonable, and sometimes too annoying. But he was worth fighting, dying for.
The sacrifices she had made just to be with him were nothing to compare to the sacrifices he made to be with her.
Right? Lilou?
I turned to my right, smiling at my younger self, who was sitting beside me at the top of the hill where I used to live. She was smiling back at me until her eyes squinted. The soft blow of the wind and the golden ray of the sunset that shone upon her made her radiate.
She was lovely, and only now I appreciate her simplicity.
"You don't regret it, do you?" I inquired as I gazed at the Duke's mansion. "You don't regret taking his hand that night which you're holding on to until now, right?"
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