Chapter 353 - I Like Myself More
"You'd been quiet, Kristina." Kristina turned her head to the side, shrugging her shoulder as Noah sat on the stairs of the porch she was sitting on. "Ever since that day... is there a reason?"
"Reason... well, nothing in particular." A sigh tagged along with her remarks, taking a deep breath. "Just... yes, it's nothing.."
Kristina hung her head low, fidgeting with her fingers. She couldn't just tell Noah that the person she chased and had a confrontation with a week ago reminded her of someone who was already dead.
Noah studied her for a moment, parting his lips, but sighed deeply. "Do you truly think I will believe it is just nothing, Kristina?"
"Just pretend you believe it."
"I wanted to, but whenever you're this distracted, the reason is always him."
The side of her lips curled up bitterly, raising her head to look at Noah. This man knew them from inside and out, just like an older brother.
"Sometimes, I wish that you'd stop acting like a nosey big brother," she remarked, shaking her head while he chuckled. "It's annoying when someone can read me."
"My apologies for being nosey."
"Forgiven. It might be annoying, but it's not that bad." She peered at the woods ahead, smiling bitterly. "Actually, it feels nice... it makes me think that you somehow care."
Noah chuckled briefly, taking a deep breath as he stared ahead. "Because I do."
There was a brief silence between them, just looking at the woods. Deep in their own thoughts and just simply enjoying the humid breeze.
"There was also a point in my life that I wished I can be heard." Noah broke the silence, making Kristina gaze at him. "That one time when I asked 'why do we have to do this?', a part of me hoped my brother bothered to make up any lame excuse; or when the time I requested an audience with my father, asking 'what did the Browns' do wrong, I wished he told me any reason instead of just saying 'that's just life'. If they did, I might, just maybe, think my voice mattered."
"Good thing they didn't or you'll be just like them."
Noah let out a bitter yet short laugh. "Is it really a good thing?"
"What? You want to be just as cruel as them?" Her brow arched, facing him squarely. Noah smacked his lips, shrugging nonchalantly.
"More than to be just as cruel as them, I want to be a part of them." He faced her, sporting a forced smile. "They're my family, after all. I wanted to be a part of the family — even when I think the Remington's are twisted to the core, I wanted them to think I am their family."
Kristina studied the suppressed pain in his eyes before looking away. A part of her could understand him.
"Until the end, they didn't acknowledge me, and ever since, I gave up on trying. However, for the past eight months, I...." Noah trailed off as his eyes softened. "... I finally feel I belong. Strange, isn't it? I feel an outcast in my own blood kin, but have this sense of belonging with the people who I didn't have a choice but to be with."
"Well, blood isn't the only indicator of family."
"That's right. That's what I learned in the past eight months." Noah nodded in agreement, bumping his shoulder against her. "That's why even when you feel annoyed, I'll keep being a nosey big brother."
"You're annoying." She rolled her eyes but chuckle, shaking her head lightly.
"Do you hate me for annoying you?"
"Well, Charlotte and Ramin always pressed each other's nerves at every chance they get, but I don't think they hate to the point they will kill each other."
"Isn't that's how a family is like? You annoy each other to death, but when faced in a crisis, they stick together."
"Do you actually think we will stick together when faced with a life and death crisis?" Kristina set her eyes on him once again, while Noah just looked ahead.
"Even if you don't, I will stick with you all."
Kristina chuckled weakly, averting her eyes from him. "You're quite noble. Which part of your reputation as the snotty brat of the Remington, real?"
"Please don't bring that up."
"It's a harmless question!" She laughed, seeing Noah closed his eyes in embarrassment. "You know gossips in the high society. I might be able to defend you if you tell me about it."
"It's all fake."
"Even the fact that you threw a huge fit when you found your lover fucking your brother?"
"Ouch." Noah frowned as he faced her squarely. "You're being a jerk now, Kristina. It's not funny."
"Oh, I'm sorry for rubbing salt on your wounds. I thought you've healed already." Kristina patted his shoulder, smiling brightly as teasing Noah was quite fun. Her brows arched as she gazed up, baffled by the sudden intent gaze from him.
"What?" she asked, tilting her head to the side. "Do you want to kiss me? I don't think you build the perfect mood, though."
"Apparently, that's not what I look at you. I'm just glad you are... alright." His voice went deeper and solemn, raising his hand to pat her head. "I'm very sure he will be very proud of the three of you."
"I'd prefer it if you just tried to kiss me." She brushed his hand away, looking away. "I might forget him if you like me enough."
"That's cruel, but I think I like you enough to respect that you will never look at me in that light."
"So, you do like me, huh?"
"You can say that." Noah shrugged as he didn't feel the need to hide his slight attraction to her. "However, I like myself more."
"Hah... that's also what I told myself back then." After Kristina's remarks, silence enveloped the two of them once again. They stared at the woods ahead, and then shortly after, their brows furrowed.
"Her Grace is coming?" she wondered, narrowing her eyes in the direction she could hear the footsteps of the galloping horses.
"She's bringing someone along?" Noah murmured as the two of them slowly stood, eyes in the direction of the incoming visitors. "Kristina, be prepared if these people weren't Her Grace."
The two of them raised their guards as their eyes sharpened. But, their brows furrowed when Lilou came to their sight and behind her... those three were equally shocked as Kristina and Noah as soon as their eyes met.
"What the hell...?" Kristina murmured.
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