Chapter 351 - Simple Fool
'That guy knows how to talk and it makes me forget the important question.' I let out a sigh, walking through the hallways to Yul's quarters. 'I will ask him tomorrow if I had the time.'
Heliot might be a strange man who acted and decide logically. His straightforward personality was something that made him a little more trustworthy. So, I knew he had his own reasons.
Shortly after, I reached Yul's chambers. I took a deep breath, knocking on the door, and waited for it to open. Heliot wasn't wrong when he said I kept running away. Keeping too many secrets all at the same time, especially from Yul, who had been there for me, was unfair. Not that I planned to tell him everything, but.... I don't know. He was really upset.
The door slowly creaked open from the inside. Yul peaked through the inch gap from the door.
"Uhm... can we talk?" My brows raised as I sported an awkward smile. "Yul?"
"Is that an order?"
"If you don't want to, I will go. But, I really want to talk to you."
Yul stared at me for a moment before letting out a deep sigh and opened the door. "People had been talking about how I lost your favor because of Prince Heliot. In their eyes, I'm a pitiful soul who was tossed away by his lover."
"But that reduced the people coming after you, right?" I gazed at him as I entered his room, seeing him shrug nonchalantly before closing the door behind me. Yul gestured me to take a seat at the round small table near the window.
When he perched from across from me, our eyes instantly met. Yul's nonchalant demeanor never changed, but he had been showing more emotions lately — especially whenever I was involved.
"Yul, I... I'm sorry about earlier." A deep exhale escaped my mouth, knocking my knuckles against the table lightly. "I know I shouldn't have..."
"I know what you've been doing is for our sake. But if you can't tell me, just don't lie to me, please." Yul cut me off, delving into the matter. "I'd rather get hurt with the truth than being comforted by a lie, sis. You know that."
"Yes, that's why I'm sorry." I sighed, extending my hand over the table and spread my palms. "I was wrong. No matter what, I shouldn't have said what I said. I wasn't thinking, and I was selfish and yet, you've always been there for me. You, Klaus, and Sivi, you'd always been there for me."
Yul averted his eyes, so I requested. "Can you hold me?"
"I swear if this is just another way of manipulation, I won't forgive you." Yul reluctantly tapped his large palm on top of mine, making me smile subtly. My eyes studied the back of his hand, caressing it with my thumb.
"You know, this reminds me of how your hands used to be so flawless and soft," I muttered, shifting my eyes back to him. "But because of me, you worked hard day and night to assist me. Grimsbanne wouldn't be stable without your help."
"Now that I think about it, I never get to thank you for everything, Yul." I continued, smiling, close-lipped. "Thank you for helping me and Grimsbanne, and for being my brother."
I couldn't imagine if Yul wasn't my kin or think of another person to have this role. This twist of fate had always been one thing I would be grateful for forever. Yul gazed down, wrapping his fingers around mine slowly.
"The first time our eyes met, I thought to myself, 'how come you have such clear eyes?' and I was annoyed because what I think at that time is, you don't have an idea that you are stepping into a place you shouldn't." He paused, smiling bitterly as he squeezed my hand lightly. "The palace doesn't need a person like you, it doesn't need another person to ruin."
"I thought if I treated you even more terribly, you will realize you don't belong there. However, the more I spend time with you, the more I realize my judgment that time... was correct." Yul raised his head, locking his gaze with me. "Sometimes, I wonder if Silvia and I treated you more terribly. Will you choose to leave as soon as possible? Will you ask Hell to run away before things got more complicated?"
I bit my lower lips, staring into his eyes. Yul would always give me this look, and only now I realized what it truly meant. It wasn't a look of pity, but a look of wonder and what-ifs.
"You shine the brightest, sis. It is blinding, and I knew the Capital — the palace doesn't need that ray. I've always known that the more you stay in that place with us, it will slowly devour that light and change it into a ray of pitch black. I was correct." He squeezed my hand once again. "I'm sorry. Although, a bit late. I think I understand my real purpose for why our clan threw me in that devil's den. But I failed you. I failed our clan."
"Yul," I cajoled, placing my other hand on top of his. "It's not your fault."
"It's my fault. I should've made sure that you stay as far away as possible from the palace — from the La Crox. It was a wrong judgment to believe you must claim the throne you didn't even want." He shook his head, taking deep breaths. "If I realized this sooner, you wouldn't have to go through this ordeal."
"You're wrong, Yul. Whether you treat me terribly or treat me with kindness, the outcome will be the same. It will only delay things from escalating, but I know this will happen, regardless." My eyes softened, thinking about all those tea times with them.
"So, I'm really grateful that you and Sivi made my stay in that hellhole a little more bearable. More than my loss, I also had my gains. Friendships, family, unbreakable bonds... I am surrounded by good people, Yul. And if I had to go through it again, no matter how painful those losses were, I won't do it any other way. I know Sam thinks the same."
"You're a simple fool."
"I know and because of that, I hurt the people I love unintentionally." A smile resurfaced on my face, patting his hand gently. "I promised to protect you and give everyone a chance to dream and fulfill it. Have you ever thought of a dream, Yul?"
Yul remained silent, pursing his lips into a thin line as if that question came up so abruptly. It made me chuckle, shaking my head.
"You had lived within the palace walls all your life, and even in Grimsbanne, you barely had time to rest. I wished that someday, you will live for your own sake, for your own happiness." I cleared my throat, smacking my lips. "I will be there to support you, Yul. This simple fool will make sure no one can hinder that."
"Don't say it like that. You sound like you are dying."
"I won't." I shook my head, staring at him straight in the eye. "Trust me."
******
Yul watched Lilou leave his chambers, staring at the shut door. His eyes softened before shifting them to the window.
"Liar," came out a whisper, hearing her promises in his head repeatedly. "You are a terrible liar and cruel, sister."
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