Chapter 218 - Your Life, Your Rules.
My eyes snapped open as I gasped for air. Again, that nightmare, I thought, as I dragged myself up to sit. I unconsciously touched my shoulder, stretching my neck in a circular motion with my eyes closed.
"Ugh... that felt real," I whispered as I slowly opened my eyes.
I subconsciously glanced at the window and it was already the crack of dawn. I thought I overslept, since the dream continued on a bit longer. The more I had these nightmares, the more I felt exhausted whenever I woke up. It was as though I was reliving those times in my life… those times I never recalled happening in my life.
"What a bother," I murmured as my eyes shifted to the man lying beside me. The corner of my lips immediately curled up subtly as I reached for Sam's cheek.
"Did he just sleep?" I wondered as it seemed that was the case. My thumb caressed his cheek and only after several strokes, I felt relieved.
"This is reality," I told myself, nodding approvingly. Those nightmares I had been having every time I closed my eyes were just nightmares. Although some events followed the memories I had, I don't recall most events like meeting that bloodthirsty vampire on the way home or that…
My mind suddenly buzzed as I winced in pain. My head hurts as I tried to recall the face of the man who saved me from that carriage. I had this feeling I knew him; it was just his face was blurred.
"Mhmm." I snapped back to the current lapse when Sam moved and let out a brief grunt. His one eye slowly opened, instantly locking gaze with me.
"Good morning, husband," I greeted as I lazily slipped beside him, using his arm as my head cushion. Sam said nothing as he cradled me in his embrace.
He felt especially warm today than in the past half a year months. It almost felt like the same warmth Sam had before. I wanted to think he was slowly regaining his emotions, but it didn't matter. His embrace would always give me this familiar sense of security.
I opened my eyes slowly. "Familiar sense of security…" I whispered as it reminded me of the same feeling back then.
Now that I thought about it, Sam had been listening to me all my life. I wonder if he had anything to do when I tried to take my own life out of fear and sadness.
I almost forgot about it. No, I barely recalled anything about those details in my past. I'm not even sure if I actually tried to kill myself that day seven years ago, or it was because they were in my recurring nightmare.
Either way, the fact remained. I wasn't alone all those times. Sam was with me, although not physically. He was always with me, and my love for him deepened.
"Did you have a dream?" he asked. His voice was coarse as his fingers stroked my back gently.
I pursed my lips and moved my head closely. "Mhm. I dreamed about the time I was at my father's grave. In the dream, I felt as if someone kept sending a wave of wind to remind me I'm not alone. I'm just wondering if you have anything to do with it."
But that was impossible, right? Sam could only hear me back then, and he was deep in his slumber. It was just probably my wish, as it sounded a little… romantic if that was the case.
"Mhm," He hummed, making me furrow my brows, and I drew my head back.
My eyes fixed on his sleeping visage. "Do you have anything to do with it?" I asked, curious what his humming meant.
"Mhm." Sam slowly opened his eyes and immediately caught my gaze. "How can you forget?" he complained, leaning down as he rubbed the apex of his nose against mine.
I blinked, surprised, as I instinctively pushed his chest. "You…" I trailed off I tried to wrap this information around my head. "How?" I gasped in disbelief.
He frowned when I pushed him, but he didn't fight back. "My seal. I just had to touch it subconsciously, and it explodes like a real explosive. The effect is the strong wind." He explained, keeping it short. "It hurts like hell. I might think of revenge now that you reminded me."
I was rendered speechless momentarily. To be honest, until now, I considered those recurring dreams and nightmares as just dreams and nightmares. Although there were events that showed some actual events I could remember, the rest felt like new.
To put it simply, even that idea about the warm breeze came from that dream. I thought my mind was merely creating a false memory to warm up my heart. But if Sam recalled it, did that mean those were not just dreams? Did those events really happen? But, if they did, I'm sure I wouldn't forget about them.
My mouth fell opened and only came back from my trance when he placed his palm on the back of my head and guided it against his chest.
"Sam?" I called out softly, feeling his slender and gentle fingers stroke my hair. His sudden gentleness somehow felt suspicious as he had been being gentle recently.
"Back then, you demanded apples, food, and all sorts of things. If I had a quill that time, I could've written an entire book with just the request you have spoken of."
I bit my lower lip, as it was exactly the same as what I saw in my dreams. I knew I had a habit of prattling about my day and announcing my home. But after that incident, I always spoke as if I was talking to someone.
"Wife," he called, his voice rasped as he rested his chin on top of my head. "Dreams could induce memory reconsolidation." Sam's tone was strangely low, with a mix of restraint.
"Huh?" My brows furrowed, appalled by his words.
"Whatever is in the past shall remain in the past. Those who dwell in it would bring nothing but destructive obsession," Sam muttered, confusing me even more, as I didn't expect him to impart his wisdom early in the morning.
"Your life, your rules. Don't let fate or others dictates how you live."
"Sam." I wiggled my body as I moved back. "Why are you saying all this?" I frowned, as I didn't like how he sounded. It felt ominous.
He shrugged nonchalantly. "Just because." My frown grew sullen, but I didn't press on the matter anymore since I wouldn't get a clear answer, anyway. Instead, I stayed in his embrace until it was time to prepare to go to work.
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