Chapter 180 - Good Memories To Keep Moving Forward
"They have not transferred all my belongings yet," I murmured as I let out a sigh. "It would be nice to read while I wait for Sam."
"Happy thoughts, Lilou! Let's think of happy thoughts only!" I marched towards the divan, sitting down as I gazed at my foot. "My feet look nice now."
Yes, this should be a good thing to notice. It looked nice now that I looked at them. My toenails were clean of dirt, wiggling my toes, which made me smile.
"They looked like feet of a… noble lady." I frowned as I sighed. Something about Lena's words mentioning looking regal made me feel a little self-conscious.
"Nevermind!" I shook my head as I spread my fingers in front of me, flipping them from front and back and I studied them. "My hands! They look nice and clean. Although, they're still a little rough, they're better."
Of course, there was still evidence of hard labor from the past. It didn't look that obvious now, but up close, the minor scars were still here.
"Even my complexion looks good now," I added, nodding with a little satisfaction. I'm still a woman, so looking pretty would still give me even the slightest confidence in my appearance.
"Goodness." I slapped my cheek lightly, keeping my palm still as I blushed. "Tonight is our first night as husband and wife… wife."
I bit my lower lip as I suddenly felt silly with all my ridiculous thoughts. It was because I've been alone and it's my wedding night. Even though Sam and I had shared what husband and wife do before, I could not help but feel the manic excitement bubbling up in me after being officially married.
"Wife." I smiled, shaking myself, as I didn't feel the need to hide my happiness. "Since we're only thinking of happy thoughts, let's see…"
I leaned back, pulling my legs up to fit the divan while I rested my side on the armrest.
"The wedding…" I trailed off as I pouted. "There's nothing happy to recall during the wedding ceremony as it was more like torture and then Sam and I had a minor argument… if that's even an argument."
I didn't blame Sam, though, as it was truly frustrating. Even though the thought of being his wife was the only thing that made me happy during the entire time, I hated I felt something painful in my heart.
"It's that Stefan's…" I trailed off in surprise, covering my lips as it felt natural to call his name so casually. It was because I was sired to him, right?
I clicked my tongue as I pouted, my eyes glaring daggers at the door. "It's all the king's fault."
If not for the king, who pulled all that trick, I would have enjoyed even the slightest moment of getting married to my man. "I hate him."
There's no way I wouldn't hate him. My feelings for that person may fall into the category of just feeling annoyed — no more or less than that — I still believed it was because I was sired to him. Otherwise, I'd hate him to the core, to the point I'd commit treason.
"This is annoying," I mumbled under my breath, getting depressed again after telling myself to only think about happy thoughts. "Did Sam kill Mister Fabian? Or did Mister Fabian bury my husband alive? If so, which garden should I retrieve my husband?"
I shrunk myself for my entire body to fit the divan. It was great that I had a fast metabolism that I didn't gain too much even after just eating.
"Yul is right. All I think and do is eat. How lazy," I mumbled as I laid on my back, staring at the high ceiling for a long time.
Now that I thought about it, this room was where Sam spent most of his time as a child. "Sam as a child…" my curiosity was suddenly piqued as I imagined Sam as a mischievous boy.
"He must be so cute." I giggled, cheering myself up while I wait for my husband. After a while, I raised my hand. The shadow of my hand from the sconce danced as I moved it.
My eyes fell at the scar on the back of my hand, making me furrow my brows as I pulled my hand back for a closer look. The scar was near my knuckles; it wasn't long, nor was it noticeable.
"However, whenever I notice it, I can't help but stare at it," I murmured, tilting my head to the side. "It reminds me of the time I tripped in the way of an oncoming carriage of a nobility."
That day was the time of the year nobles' journey up to the duke's mansion. I really thought I'd die that day as I foolishly watched the horses galloped towards me.
The fear that crawled up to me at that time froze not just me, but also time itself. I couldn't move as I waited for myself to get crushed. If not for a good samaritan who pulled me up in the nick of time, I had faced my untimely death.
"Fortunately, I didn't." I smiled as I clasped my hands and held my fist closer to my chest. If I died back then, I wouldn't meet Sam. No, Sam would be so lonely without listening to me during his slumber.
"That was seven years ago." I nodded, remembering it correctly before I smiled. "Time sure is fleeting. Twenty-four years of nothing but a series misfortune, but at least, I have Sam now."
So, even if things go south in a blink of an eye, I had wonderful memories to keep. Those memories would be my reason to move forward.
To return to those peaceful days in the duke's mansion, with Sam and I playing cat and mouse, passing by Fabian who would keep a harmless smile as he gazed at the trail of dirt on the hallway, and then Rufus who would slam the dining table whenever we ran in circles around the table while he eats. Not to mention, a peaceful stroll around the dukedom and we'd watch everyone from afar.
"Those are wonderful memories, Sam," I whispered as my eyes softened as they felt a little heavy. "Do you remember the — ah!"
I jolted up as I felt a scalding pain in my chest. "Lakresha?" I held my necklace, Lakresha, and my heart suddenly throbbed painfully.
"Sam." Before I knew it, I grabbed a night robe and draped it over my shoulder before I dashed out of my room. "Mildred!"
"Your Highness," Mildred, who was outside the room, bowed and followed behind me.
"Where's my husband?" My voice thundered without faltering in my steps.
"They're on the training grounds, Your Highness."
"Take me to him!" I snapped.
"But your highness, his highness said…"
I stopped and gazed back, my eyes glinting with murderous intent as I clenched my teeth. "Are you not my lady-in-waiting? Or Sam's? You should know better whose authority takes precedence."
Mildred flinched as she gulped before she bowed. "Please, forgive my insolence, your highness. I'll lead the way."
'Sam…' I whispered in worry as this awful anxiety shrouding my heart slowly devour it.
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