Chapter 165 - Samael Will Not Be Samael Without Sam And Hell
My heart skipped a beat, but it felt a little painful. The difference of the sincerity in his words before and now sounded very distinct. I couldn't even fool myself.
"If that's what you think, let's do that then," I answered sarcastically, and gazed down, resting my head against the door. "But until then, I have to excuse myself."
My last remark was only a level above a whisper. I just wanted to be alone right now so I could gather my thoughts because this was a little overwhelming for me.
"Please," I whispered, desperate to be heard.
But the current Sam didn't understand that as he replied with a firm, "No." before wrapping his arms around my waist and rested his forehead on my shoulders. "You can't go."
"Why not?" My voice was muffled as I winced. "Can't I have a moment to think and try to understand this change? To understand why my fiance suddenly lost his feelings for me?"
We were both desperate to understand the things that were beyond our resonance right now. I never thought that there would be a day that the time we shared would feel like virulent memories.
Do you think Hell truly loves you? He is the type of person who enjoys crossing the line. Are you sure it is genuine love and not just another rule he wants to break?
Suddenly, Dominique's words hovered over my head, making me clutch my skirt tightly. I couldn't think properly right now, and I might end up deciding something in the heat of the moment.
"Sam, please…" but the reply I received from this last plea was a threat.
"If you go, I'll kill everyone you pass by, everyone you'll lay your eyes on, and everyone you talk to. I'll pile their bodies in front of you so you remember them," Sam whispered through his gritted teeth as his arms around my waist tightened, pulling me closer. "That's the kind of man you're marrying. I won't hurt you, but that doesn't mean I'll be as lenient to others."
"Why?" I asked, as my voice shook and cracked in disbelief. "Why are you doing this? I just want to be alone to gather my thoughts. Must you go that far?"
"I can do worse than that, You." Sam suddenly spun me around, pushing me against the door as he slammed his palms on either side of me. His eyes glinted with murderous intent.
"I won't let you out of my sight again. Even if it means caging you, I will do so if I deem it necessary."
I held my breath, holding the tears that were tempting to spill out of my eyes. His gaze, so dangerous and desperate, broke my heart.
"Can I ask you something?" My breath hitched as I pant for air, and I clutched onto his chest. "Did you love me? Or, did you just see me as a line you must cross?"
Silence was the answer I received, making my clasp on his chest even tighter.
"Lie," I encouraged, nearly choking on the lump of air in my throat. "Just lie and tell me you loved me. That everything you did isn't just an illusion — I'll believe it. So, can you please, just tell me you love me? Sam?" My voice grew weaker and I'm unsure if he heard me until the end.
"They're real," Sam answered emotionlessly, bringing pain into my heart more than I expected. "At least that man you're calling Sam, he sincerely loves you. However, he can't protect you if he keeps being that Sam you loved dearly."
I slowly raised my gaze at him, meeting his pair of fiery eyes. He continued, "He puts your best interest despite knowing the dangers, so forget about him. I, Hell, will take care of you from now on."
Sam took a step back as my grip on his chest dropped. "If you need some time to gather your thoughts, you don't have to go. I'll leave."
I didn't even know what happened after those bitter words left his lips. All I knew was breaking down on that same spot, hugging my knees as tears soaked my skirt.
****
I placed my hand on the cold glass surface of the window. My day passed by in a blur — I couldn't even remember how I changed into my indoor clothes and how the servants served me — and now the sun was about to set.
"My lady," Fabian called out from behind me. "It's us to blame that his lordship had to call out that side of him."
Fabian's voice sounded genuinely regretful, blaming himself for failing his duties. I don't blame him, though. It was not his fault.
"Before the duke changed, he ordered us to protect you from him. We won't make the same mistake again," He reassured. I believed he was bowing knowing his character.
"The outcome… will it be a little different if we all did our best? Won't we be in this tricky situation if we became more vigilant? In the back of our heads, didn't we expect so much worse? I'd been thinking about the answer to those questions all day, Mister Fabian."
I slowly turned around to face him and asked. "Do you know the answer I came up with?"
Fabian remained quiet as he stared back at me. Unlike usual, he wasn't smiling and I could see his eyes properly this time.
"The answer I came up with is, neither those questions nor its answers matter." I paused as I took a deep breath before I trudged towards the divan. "What done is done. Sam had returned to his old ways, meaning, the devil everyone feared had returned."
"My lady…" His eyes filled with worry.
"Hell is the monster created by the La Crox. The truth is a hard pill to swallow, that Hell is necessary for this battle," I huffed as I sat down. "It hurts now, but we have to accept that instead of denying it."
"I can't disagree." Fabian hung his head low, aware that I spoke the words he had known all along. "However, I worry about you, my lady. His lordship's current state is unstable and resorts to unnecessary violence. I'm afraid…"
He trailed off as he raised his eyes to me, glinting with bitterness and worry. Fabian had always been supportive of our relationship and had expressed his thoughts honestly.
"You're afraid I'll be the one who will get hurt in the end?" I continued with the words he failed to finish. Fabian pursed his lips and sported a bitter smile.
"I'm aware of that, but Mister Fabian, I made a promise with Sam." I took a breath and released it from the gape of my lips. "I told him before, if he can't love that part of him, I will love it in his stead. If Hell had a broken heart, I will split mine to complete his."
"My lady,"
I cut him off by continuing to speak about my resolve. "After all, Samael will not be Samael without Sam and Hell."
This 𝓬ontent is taken from f(r)eeweb(n)ovel.𝒄𝒐𝙢