Chapter 115 - Stored Innocence
I trained almost the whole day. I didn't see Sam after what happened in the morning. But I didn't dwell on it too much since I sparred with Rufus.
The results? I never stood a chance.
I plopped down on the nearby tree as I watched Rufus placed the wooden swords back. He's too strong.
A sigh escaped my mouth. Shaking my head in disappointment.
If the fifth prince came here to escort us, that only meant we'd really have to set off. He had planned to delay our wedding for a year.
Fortunately, Sam was very understanding and supportive. I actually thought he'd be very displeased about it. It only took a kiss to placate him.
The thought of it unconsciously made me giggle. He's so adorable… but sometimes he's very frightening. But that didn't matter.
"Fifth prince, huh?" I muttered as the image of Klaus crossed my mind.
Slowly, I raised my hand. Staring at my palm hands that held lakresha this morning.
I could still feel its icy surface on my hand. This hand… I nearly harmed Sam with this same hand. I should refrain from using Lakresha unless necessary.
Although that weapon lent me some strange strength, I didn't want it. If it intended to harm Sam, I'd rather not use it.
"I wonder if lakresha reacts the same way to his family?" I mumbled, without realizing Rufus had approached me already.
"It will, my lady. Lakresha wouldn't only react like that towards the duke. It will react the same way if you faced someone who's…"
I raised my gaze, blinking. "Who's evil?
Rufus cleared his throat as he looked away. He didn't plan to finish his sentence, so I finished it for him.
"Don't worry. Even if Sam is the worst, he's still be the best for me." I muttered as I leaned my back against the tree.
He stood not far away or too close to me. I could not help but glanced at Rufus and then at the golden rays coloring the sky.
"Sir Knight, why do the duke's brothers hate him?" I asked.
I had asked this before. I heard Fabian and Sam's explanation. But, I'm a little curious about Rufus' version.
"Because he's strong." He answered without even thinking twice.
"I see…" I nodded, exhausted to even complain or throw a little sarcasm at his effortless response.
Silence enveloped us. Until Rufus called my name and I raised my gaze.
"My lady, are you sure about going to the capital?"
"Mhm. Isn't it much better to stay close to him?" I replied in a knowing tone.
To my surprise, Rufus walked in my direction. He plopped down to my side, keeping a safe distance between us.
"You have met the fifth prince. He is usually arrogant and thinks everyone is below him. But, he actually has capabilities to back up his arrogance, no matter how detestable his character is. It's not just him, but the royal family is full of cruel individuals like him."
"I see…" I nodded in understanding, hugging my knees closer to my chest. I gaze at the beautiful scenery.
"The duke is incomparable, indeed. But, if they all conspire behind him, he'd have a hard time all on his own. I know I'm stepping out of my bounds, but you have to reconsider. After what happened three months ago, things like that — or even worse, will occur."
Rufus added. It was the first time Rufus said a lot to me. He had spoken more words than the three months we're training together. It only showed his concern towards Sam.
I understood that point.
"You, being a mortal… that's like stepping voluntarily to a lion's den. I'm confident in my master's capabilities, but —"
"But because of me, I might hold him back? And put him in a tight predicament?" Before he could finish his sentence, I abruptly cut him off by finishing it myself.
"No, my lady."
"Then what is, Sir Knight?" I turned my head to him.
Rufus was staring at me, rocking his head back and forth lightly. When he broke his gaze away, he sighed.
He didn't reply. He couldn't think of an alternative suggestion.
"The Duke had accepted an invitation from the king despite normally rejecting it. He asked me to come with him despite the dangers, so I came with him. When that incident happened, I planned not to be a hindrance by becoming strong and he supported it wholeheartedly."
I paused as I set my eyes ahead.
"Before you said it, I had already told myself a hundred of times. This training was a mere futile attempt. Three months is not enough; even a lifetime is not enough. But, if he trusts me so much, how can I doubt myself? How can I doubt him even the slightest? It may be futile for their kind, but I'm doing my best."
That's right. After that incident, I planned just to do my best. We're just asking for a blessing in marriage and yet, it felt like I'd be joining the front line of the war.
If the palace was a battlefield, I should at least have some weapon. It may be blunt, but I'd bid myself time.
"My lady."
"I know you mean well, Sir Knight." I faced Rufus and offered a subtle smile. "But, I don't need it. I won't change my mind. I will stay beside him despite the dangers ahead. If I can't do at least that, what else can I do?"
"Have you considered…" He trailed off, tilting his head back, his back against the tree trunk.
"Do you remember your words back then, my lady? You said; you may be a peasant, but you conduct yourself within humane morals."
I raised a brow as I recalled that memory. It was my first conversation with Rufus; the time I just exploded out of distress.
I didn't know he'd remember that. I pursed my lips out of guilt. I'm certain I said more harsh words to him.
"I'm afraid once you step foot in the Capital, living within human morals is impossible. Even if you returned, you'd never be the same." Rufus faced me.
His expression solemn. His eyes flickered with worry, which caught me off guard.
"There's only a few who are as pure and as innocent as you, my lady."
Why did everyone think I'm still that pure Lilou? They couldn't even understand the bottled rage within me.
Still, I offered him a meek smile. Rufus might be a strict instructor, but he's loyal to Sam. Also, I know these words were just a reminder for me.
"Thank you, Sir Knight. But…" I looked away, smiling at the scenery as the sky was about to welcome the darkness. "… I already stored that innocence solely for him. I might change in front of others, but I don't think I'd ever stop being myself in front of the Duke."
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