Calix did not, in fact, return the messenger hawks the next morning.
Nor the morning after that.
For days, which turned into weeks, and then a month, the birds remained their travel companions. Calix and Icarus slowly grew to tolerate one another, or, at the very least, bleeding ears and cheeks became infrequent incidents.
They would rise early every morning and ride their horses for hours before stopping at midday to take a break. While Calix and Kel ate bread and cheese, the hawks would scour for small rodents, and the horses nibbled on wild grass.
After everyone had been fed, watered, and rested, they would continue their ride until nightfall.
Towns were becoming more sparse as they traveled farther north, so, most nights, they would set up a tent and make a fire. Occasionally, when the weather was nice, they would sleep out under the night sky and whisper to each other about the stars until they drifted off to sleep, trusting Icarus and Astrid to alert them at any signs of danger.
Like the towns, however, their nights spent under the stars were becoming fewer as they continued north. Fortunately, Kel had secured a few pairs of sturdy pants in one of the larger cities they passed through. The pants she got from Lucy were worn and thin, and the skirts from Pandreia were wildly impractical--not to mention, ill-fit for the dropping temperatures.
Calix often teased Kel about the skirts with the high slits, even long after she gave up wearing them.
"You know, I really enjoyed those skirts," Calix smirked, running his hand along the woolen material covering her thigh one evening. "Did you keep them?"
"Why would I?" Kel blushed. "Clearly, they were unneeded in the first place!"
"I'm amazed sometimes that you were trained your entire life as both a soldier and princess," Calix continued, "and still have such poor logic skills."
"I wasn't trained in logic!" Kel shot back. "I was trained to fight and memorize things and hold my back perfectly straight and-"
The Emperor cut her off with a grin and finger to her lips.
"I like that you're terrible at hiding your emotions and always so honest," he remarked. "And that you always try to solve everything on your own even when you're way in over your head-"
This time, Kel was the one to cut him off, throwing both hands angrily over his mouth.
"Are these supposed to be compliments?!" she frowned.
After pursing his lips into a kiss on her palms, the man gently pulled her hands down.
"I'm just listing the things I find endearing about you," he smiled.
Calix found many more moments to bring up the poorly-thought-out skirts during their journey, but his teasing was always lighthearted, and ended with him being unable to help himself from crushing Kel in his arms.
"I'm not your pet or doll," Kel would groan each time.
She couldn't help but roll her eyes at the Emperor's suffocating hugs, but in truth, she liked the warm, safe feeling that came from being encircled by his arms. Even more so knowing the reason the man had circled his arms around her was because he found his Empress consort so adorable he could not help himself.
At times, she suddenly thought of other men who had claimed to love her. Dash, who had always been by her side, and then told her of his feelings one gray night in Serin after knowingly betraying her.
Ultimately, he had helped her escape from Serin, but then left her alone for weeks at a time while he went about his own business.
With his lips, he had always spoken of how much she meant to him, of the fact that he loved her, but never did she feel loved by him.
And then, Taegus, who abruptly confessed and resolved his feelings in the same breath after dancing with her at her engagement party.
Calix hadn't used the words those men used.
He hadn't confessed undying love for her.
But he protected her.
He broke an oath he made and destroyed his own people's settlement to rescue her.
He even left his Empire in the hands of others to go with her on her own selfish quest.
Romantic words hardly spilled out of his lips, but those same lips couldn't hold themselves back from caressing her.
Calix loved her.
More than anything else in the world.
And he gave her no chance to doubt that.
"I love you," she whispered, burying her nose into his chest.
Calix didn't respond, but his arms tightened around her even more and he leaned down to plant a kiss on her head.
Sweet.
Kel had that thought often as their journey progressed.
The love she and Calix shared had started off fiery, as they played the roles of a hunter and his unfortunate prey. As time went on, it turned into a steamy haze with their bodies entangled night after night.
But now, it was sweet.
Was she allowed to feel so happy and enjoy something so sweet?
She wondered as she sat in front of the dancing campfire one evening.
Surrounded by the reddening trees of Mevani's forests, she recalled one particularly vivid memory in which she had sat in front of a campfire before.
The other soldiers had been drinking gin and making merry. A red-haired boy entertained the entire group with his silly dancing.
The boy's uncle had sat next to Kel, looking fondly after his nephew.
She could almost make out the figures of that night among the trees, like some kind of ghosts forever cursed to relive the same moment for eternity.
When she looked at the faces of the boy and his uncle, however, soulless eyes gazed back at her. The eyes of the dead. Who had died because of her.
The same eyes had haunted her nightmares before, but now they hardly scared her.
Rather, they made her chest tighten uncomfortably.
Again, she wondered, did she deserve to feel so happy?
Was she allowed to enjoy something so sweet?
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