Chapter 6: Chapter 1.5
Even now, I remember
"That was how I met Bat—and the former ace detective."
Lengthy as it was, I'd finally filled Natsunagi in on the old memory Bat and I shared. If I was telling stories from four years ago, there was no way to avoid the topic of my former partner.
It had been a long time since I'd talked about her, and while not all the memories were good—for reasons incomprehensible to me—they put a smile on my face.
"I see... Okay. I understand your story, but, uh," Natsunagi said, surreptitiously sidling back, "doesn't that mean he's super-dangerous?"
She backed up all the way to the opposite wall, trying to put some distance between herself and Bat.
"Ah, hmm, well."
"Is that all you have to say? You're a pretty dangerous character yourself, Kimizuka."
Come to think of it, I hadn't filled Natsunagi in on my issues with getting
dragged into stuff...but she really should have caught on back when she found out I knew people on the police force and in prison.
"Also, I don't want a guy like him listening to my heart..."
Well, yes, she had a point. Having that nasty tentacle on her chest could be a devastatingly traumatic experience for an adolescent girl. I wouldn't want it happening to me, either.
"No, no. I can hear your heart just fine from here—and in fact, sweetheart, I've already identified it."
Bat guessed what Natsunagi and I were worried about and headed us off.
...But what had he said just now? Did he mean he already had an idea of who Natsunagi's donor was?
"Bat, are you saying you've met the owner of Natsunagi's heart?" "Yeah. That was the point of that old story."
It was?
The guy was making as little sense as ever. What could that story have to do with Natsunagi's heart? He wasn't saying her donor had been in the story, on that plane four years ago, was he?
"—Oh."
Behind me, Natsunagi murmured quietly. "What is it? Did you figure something out?" "...Well, it's just...I thought it was strange."
If we were talking "strange," Natsunagi had been strange from the moment I met her...but cracking a joke right now would have felt wrong.
"You see, I'm not actually the type who does that sort of thing."
"What are you talking about, Natsunagi? You've been acting kind of weird for a while now."
"You're right. I am weird. Sometimes I don't understand why I do certain things—it's like I stop being myself." Natsunagi's usual composure had vanished, and she was hugging her shoulders slightly. "I mean, I'm not the type who'd do a thing like that to a boy I'd just met."
Was she talking about what had happened in the classroom the previous day? That she wasn't actually that audacious?
In that case, what had pushed her to do it? Well, I had talked to her about
something similar the day before.
"Memory transference—that's what you said, Kimizuka. Remember? That means I wasn't the one who did that. I bet the owner of this heart made me do it."
By that logic, before they died, Natsunagi's donor could do "that sort of thing."
Someone who didn't care about shame or their reputation or the means, as long as it was for an end they believed was right.
I knew just one person who could pull off such a trick. And that person—had died exactly a year ago.
...No. Don't tell me.
A coincidence like that would never happen. That's just ludicrous.
Cold sweat broke out on my forehead. My hands and feet grew numb, and my teeth chattered.
Stop it. Please stop. Don't follow me anymore. I'm not your partner now.
Isn't that right?
You're already dead, aren't you?
"Denial isn't a good look for you, Watson."
When I looked up, Bat was gazing at me with those cloudy eyes. Like he was telling me not to close mine.
"This is the answer."
The sharp tentacle I'd seen that day emerged from Bat's ear. Still that grotesque shade, as if someone had mixed dozens of paint colors together, and that sickening slug-like way of moving.
"Don't do it, Bat." "Do what?"
"If you kill someone, you'll hang for it."
"Right. If," Bat said. "But you know I can't kill her with this, don't you?" "Stop!"
The tentacle sharpened into a spike, took aim at Natsunagi's heart, and—a few centimeters before it touched her, the tip crumbled away.
That phenomenon triggered a memory for me.
It was something a certain someone had said, four years ago:
"Your tentacle will never be able to attack me again."
Anyone who was hit with that blood became absolutely unable to defy their master, she'd said.
Bat's tentacle hadn't been able to attack Natsunagi...or to be precise, the heart that was inside her. That meant—
"Siesta, is it you?"
The nostalgia I'd felt in that sunset classroom, when Natsunagi had held me in her arms—the trigger had been the heartbeat of my worst and dearest former partner. I'd met her again for the first time in a year.
"The moment you walked in, I had assumed that girl was your partner."
Now that he mentioned it, when we'd shown up, Bat had gotten oddly nostalgic... Had it been because he'd heard the sound of his mortal enemy's heart?
Bat couldn't see, so when he'd heard that heartbeat, he'd mistaken Natsunagi for Siesta. Was that why our conversation hadn't gelled at the beginning?
"When did that ace detective die?" Bat asked, narrowing his eyes. "...A year ago. On a faraway island, in a distant ocean."
"I see. Even if she was an enemy, that's a shame." "Yeah. Out of nowhere, just like that, it was over."
"'Just like that'? Don't be an idiot. Even after she died, the detective has come back to you."
For a moment, Bat's words made my chest feel tight.
Siesta had come back to me—yeah. That would be poetic, wouldn't it? If it was true.
She'd be the last person to do a thing like that, though. She was a logical ace detective—this theory was too convenient, too trite, too emotional.
...Besides, I'd been a lousy assistant.
Yeah, I admit it. I'd complained constantly... But really, I knew how incredible Siesta was and how much I was her polar opposite.
I was just her shadow, a dark shape following a beautiful girl dancing as
lightly as a dream in the bright sunlight.
That's why... That's why I knew saying that Siesta had come back to me definitely wasn't right.
After all, she would have forgotten me long before now.
"It's a coincidence," I murmured, but I wasn't really talking to Bat. It was a reminder to myself. "Running into Natsunagi, and her having Siesta's heart, is all just—"
That was when Natsunagi slapped me across the face. "...Did the heart's owner make you do that, too?" I asked. "No!"
When I looked at her, she was crying. "I did that on my own! I hit you because I wanted to!"
Her eyes were red, her face was crumpled, and she erupted at the top of her lungs.
"Kimizuka, I dare you to say that one more time! This is coincidence? This reunion is coincidence?! Come on! Why are you being so irresponsible and fatalistic? This is a reunion; don't brush it off! These are feelings! You were together for three years, and she wants to be with you even after she died! That's the only wish this little heart has! I've been— This heart has been looking for you this whole time, Kimihiko Kimizuka! So it could see you again... Just so it could see you! And then you try to shut it down with a word like coincidence! These feelings matter!"
The next thing I knew, I'd run to her and pulled her slim body into my arms.
I understand. I see it now.
It was like I'd said—the heart inside Natsunagi was searching for someone. "X," the person Natsunagi had been trying to find for the past year, that
Siesta had been trying to find, was...me.
Siesta had wanted to see me? "Are you there?" I asked.
There was no answer. Of course there wasn't. The detective was already dead.
But...
"It's been a long time, Siesta."
...the warmth of this chest was definitely hers. "Actually, I had a ton of things I wanted to say to you."
How hard do you think life was for me after I became your assistant?
I was forced to smuggle a gun, and we wound up in a paranormal battle with a shadowy organization, and our names spread through underworld society, and I ended up having to travel the world with you for three whole years while fleeing from our pursuers; we were flat broke and living hand to mouth while fighting a bunch of pseudohumans, sleeping out in the open during hurricanes, and sometimes on days when we won big at a casino, we'd jump on the bed at a resort hotel together, and then the next day, we'd be penniless again. We traveled across deserts, and through jungles, and over mountains and oceans, and then, and then—
"—Why'd you go and die first, you moron?"
I didn't have feelings for you or anything. It was the same for you, wasn't it?
You and I weren't lovers, and I'm sure we weren't even really friends. We were detective and assistant—just business partners, in an odd way. But... But still...
You recruited me, remember? You can't just die and leave me after that. At least tell me good-bye before you go.
"Is that why you came back?" To say good-bye?
Or maybe...
"I'm looking forward to continuing this relationship."
As Natsunagi spoke, she smoothly stepped away from me.
Her face was— No, I really must have been imagining it that time. But I could almost see a faintly familiar hundred-million-watt smile.
The detective is already dead
After that, Ms. Fuubi came to pick us up, and Natsunagi and I followed her out of the prison.
"Did you get to ask your questions?" Hands on the police car's steering wheel, Ms. Fuubi directed the question at us, in the back seat.
"...Yes, more or less."
Natsunagi's eyes were still red, and I answered for her. "Wow. His lips have gotten surprisingly loose."
"It probably depends on the topic. He won't say a word about that other subject, will he?"
"That other subject" was why Siesta had captured Bat alive on that plane. Ms. Fuubi had taken him into custody after that, but even four years later, she apparently hadn't managed to get any significant information out of him.
Just so you know, ever since Siesta's death, we'd been in a cease-fire with
SPES. Or to be more accurate, they'd stopped going out of their way to fight me. I guess it means I was only ever the ace detective's flunky as far as they were concerned. Too bad.
"Well, I'm glad you two got what you wanted anyway. You'd better be damn grateful to me."
Ms. Fuubi seemed to have forgotten that we had just followed her because she had business here. Either way, I really was damn grateful.
There was just one thing, though. A question I couldn't get out of my mind. "You knew everything to begin with, didn't you, Ms. Fuubi?"
"What're you talking about?"
"About who Natsunagi's heart belonged to." "What makes you think that?"
"That's a good question, and I'm not sure how to answer it. Just a vague hunch."
I had nothing solid to base it on. But after she'd brought us right to the man we needed to see, I couldn't believe that it meant nothing.
And if so, then maybe Ms. Fuubi's objective was— "Natsunagi."
I was positive this was something I needed to say, right now. Still facing forward, I spoke to the girl sitting next to me.
"No matter who that heart belongs to, it's okay for you to live your own life. You don't have to replace anyone."
I saw Ms. Fuubi's reflection deflate in the rearview mirror.
Sorry, but I'll leave smiting the pseudohumans to you people. I'm not going to drag Natsunagi into this. I won't let you make her Siesta's replacement.
"Kimizuka..."
When I glanced to the side, Natsunagi was gazing at me, stunned. "What's wrong?"
"...Nothing."
Before long, she shook her head slightly. "—Thanks!"
She smiled, like a flower bursting into bloom.
"Ahhh, well, that was a lot."
After Ms. Fuubi had dropped us off outside the station, I stretched.
I swear. My first proper job in a year...and to make matters worse, it unexpectedly dredged up a bunch of past trauma and random other stuff. I felt like I'd just gotten the beating of my life.
"Is it my fault?" Natsunagi peered into my face, unusually apologetic. "I didn't say that. As a matter of fact, I'm grateful to you."
"Huh...?" Her already large eyes grew even wider. "Thanks to you, well, uh..."
Hmm. Even I couldn't put it into words very well. But when I met Natsunagi, then ended up facing my past again...
"I started thinking it wasn't okay to stay like this." Or at least, I think I did. I can't say for sure just yet.
"If so, then I—" Natsunagi bit her lip. She seemed to be thinking hard. What was it? Was she still worried about something?
I considered asking, but then— "Thanks for today."
—I turned to go, pretending I hadn't noticed anything. After all, I'd already taken care of Natsunagi's request.
There was no need for me to be involved with her anymore. We should cut ties here and now.
Needless to say, Natsunagi and I weren't lovers, and I'm sure we weren't even really friends.
Detective (stand-in) and client—that was all our relationship was. Now that the request was cleared up, we had no relationship at all.
Which meant I needed to leave Natsunagi quickly.
She'd managed to get a new life. That meant she shouldn't be bound by Siesta.
And since I could become a trigger that made her think about Siesta, she shouldn't get involved with me, either.
"See you around." With those thoughts in my mind, I took a step toward the station's ticket gate—
"Wait."
—or tried to, until slim fingers caught my right hand. "...What's the matter, Natsunagi?"
"No, um..."
Her fingers were still closed around mine. Her eyes were on the ground; she was opening her mouth as if she wanted to say something, then closing it again.
I knew what she wanted to say, what she was trying to be kind enough to say.
But I couldn't let her.
This was her life. I couldn't make her shoulder someone else's burden.
Over our silent heads, an idol song was blaring from the huge screen outside the station. It was probably some sort of promo video. A middle school girl was singing a pop song, winking flirtatiously at the camera. It was also making the silence about 20 percent more awkward.
"If you don't have anything to say, I'm leaving."
"...You're kind of a jerk, Kimizuka." That was the third time she'd said that to me.
Yeah, I know. Something really glitched out when my personality was created. Sorry about that.
Leaving Natsunagi behind, I made another attempt to head for the ticket gate, when—
"Excuse me!"
—somebody else showed up and stopped me again.
I glanced to the side. Natsunagi was there. She'd tilted her head in confusion. It hadn't been her this time.
I looked down slightly, and then the owner of the voice came into view.
It was a middle school girl. Her face was half-hidden by a hood, but the eye that peeked out at me was shining a bit too brightly, and the aura around her couldn't possibly belong to an ordinary person.
Actually, I got the feeling I'd seen her somewhere before...
Natsunagi and I both looked waaay up, and a very familiar-looking idol was still singing her song on the giant screen.
"Um, actually, I'm an idol singer."
Hey, come on, I just finished a job. Why are clients showing up back-to- back like this? ...Wait, if there is a reason...
I looked over at Natsunagi—at her heart.
As it turned out, my sixth sense was right on the money. "I have a problem I'd like an ace detective to solve!" Goddammit. So I have to explain this whole thing again?
"Sorry, I'm not actually a detective..." But then—
"Yes, I'm sorry; the slacker here is only an assistant."
—Natsunagi sent me a quiet, significant look. She was telling me, This is the path I've chosen.
"Huh? Then..."
"It's all right, though."
Natsunagi spoke to the bewildered idol. To her new client.
"If you need a detective, you've found one. I'm the ace detective—Nagisa Natsunagi."
The detective is already dead. But her last wish will never die.
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