Chapter 30: I Have No Desire for You at This Moment
Translator: Ruriko
Zhishu He had a long dream. He dreamed of the chalk powder all over the air in the classroom, the boy waiting patiently for him to come home with the schoolbag on one shoulder, the lonely flowers nurtured by his Grandpa in the courtyard on the day of Grandpa’s death, and himself, who stood in the empty corridor of the hospital and wept hopelessly, with a pale face.
When the boy with the schoolbag on one shoulder grew up, Zhishu He became the one who waited for the boy to come home. Flowers in the garden withered, and Zhishu He vowed not to grow flowers anymore.
It was already dark outside when Zhishu woke up. He still felt giddy and pushed open the bedroom door in a daze. There was no light in the living room. Smoke filled the room. Wenxu Jiang stood by the window and smoked. The cigarette flamed in the dark room, and the cigarette ends had accumulated in the ashtray.
“I have urged you to quit smoking.”Zhishu said in a husky voice.
Wenxu was stunned and subconsciously put out the cigarette, “I’m sorry.”
Zhishu He turned on the light, “You smoke when you’re upset.”
“What’s bothering you?” Zhishu sat on the platform with his forehead against the window, looking far into the distance.
Wenxu smiled and bent down to touch the top of his hair, “Don’t worry about me. It’s just work.”
Zhishu did not say anything. He felt dizzy and blood dropped on the snow-white blanket. When Zhishu stretched out his fingers in a trance to touch the bloodstains, the blood flowed faster from his nose because he lowered his head.
Wenxu Jiang was shocked and stretched out his arm to stop the unstoppable blood.
“What are you thinking about? Look up, come on! Look up!” Wenxu was worried and squatted down to let Zhishu lie supine on his lap. Their clothes and hands were sticky and covered with blood.
It took a long time to stop the bleeding. Wenxu Jiang held Zhishu in his arms and went to the bathroom to clean Zhishu. He carefully adjusted the water temperature for Zhishu.
“Why did you suddenly have a nosebleed?”
Zhishu frowned, his lips looked pale because of excessive loss of blood, “The weather is too dry.”
“Winter in the north is dry and cold. I’ll have someone buy a humidifier for you tomorrow.” Wenxu Jiang washed Zhishu’s face. He wanted to take a bath with Zhihsu since their clothes were stained with blood, but he was pushed away by Zhishu.
Zhishu used much of his strength to push Wenxu and clutched his own collar tightly. His nails even turned blue because of force.
Wenxu was stunned, “What’s wrong?” He was a little embarrassed with grievance and felt puzzled, “Your clothes are dirty.”
“I can clean by myself.” Zhishu’s eyes didn’t fell on Wenxu Jiang and he still looked resistant.
Jiang’s face got gloomy and he said coldly, “You are so dirty, with the smell of blood. I have no desire for you at this moment.”
Zhishu knew that he had misunderstood, but he didn’t how to explain. He could only watch Wenxu Jiang wash his hands without saying a word and then leave the bathroom. Just after five minutes, with a slam Wenxu left home.
Quite well. With so many obedient lovers outside, Wenxu Jiang didn’t need to keep his temper and take care of Zhishu here. Zhishu slowly took off his clothes. His arms were covered with pinholes which looked terribly blue on his body.
Zhishu embraced himself in the warm water of the bathtub, and suddenly he was a little afraid. He felt it was time to make some sort of decision, such as where he should end up. No matter where he died, it was troublesome enough. If he died at home and nobody knew this for over ten days, he would surely look awkward. It was not good to frighten Wenxu Jiang.
Zhishu suddenly laughed when he thought about it. He realized that the process of a person’s death was easy, but the difficult thing was aftermath of death.
Hot water softened Zhishu’s body, but he didn’t stay in the water for a long time. He wiped himself up while he still had some strength. He carefully put on his thick pajamas and felt a little warm.
In the living room, the smell of smoke had not dissipated. The smell of Su Cigarette was not unpleasant. But this smell made Zhishu painful.
When he felt the headache, he found that he had forgotten to take medicine all day, so he forced himself to boil water and take the medicine. A handful of pills would usually torture his stomach for a long time.
Zhishu lay on the sofa, waiting for the efficacy of pills. The kittens played around him. Their paws made Zhishu feel itchy.
When he heard the key open the door, he thought it was a hallucination until the man with a gloomy face stood in front of him.
“Stop playing with cats and wash your hands for dinner,” Wenxu Jiang still wore a long face, but he wandered outside and bought a meal.
“Stir-fried Pig’s Liver can enrich your blood,” Wenxu Jiang poured the dishes into plates and said in a cold tone, but his expression was mild.
Zhishu sat at the dining table, with his mind wandering. He thought of Wenxu Jiang who really would not be indifferent to him for such a trifle in the old days.