Chapter 353 Between Love And Selfishness
Rowena's eyes searched Asher's as his confession unfurled, the air between them heavy with tension, "What are you saying?" she asked, her voice becoming slightly low.
He hesitated, the weight of the situation evident on his face, "During our journey... Ceti and Isola were there for me in ways that I could never have foreseen," Asher began, his voice laced with guilt, "It's hard to explain, but they became quite important to me, helping me find my way back to you. And in the midst of that, things...happened. Feelings I didn't expect. I've come to want them in my life, Rona."
Rowena's eyes clouded, her crimson gaze taking on a sharp edge as she processed the weight of his words. She had suspected Isola, yes, but Ceti was a revelation she never saw coming.
Sensing the rising tension in the room, Asher quickly added, "I'm well aware of how shameless this sounds. If you come to hate me, I'll understand. But know this."
He stepped forward, clutching her hand with a desperate intensity, "Even if you hate me, I will never, ever let you go. As I said before, you are my lifeline, and nothing will change that."
Rowena's crimson eyes darkened, her emotions swirling in their depths.
The air in the room grew thick with tension as the seconds stretched on.
Her breath caught as she gently extricated her hand from his grasp, turning and walking towards the grand windows. The sheer drapes billowed gently, framing her silhouette, leaving Asher staring helplessly at her back.
Taking a few measured steps towards her, Asher ventured, "Rona... please, say something," Asher found her silence suffocating and had imagined quite many scenarios in his head, though facing this in reality still struck him strongly.
Still facing away from him, Rowena's voice was low but steady, "Before I say anything, I want you to answer me honestly. Is there something that's troubling you? Something you have never told me and something I failed to see despite being married to each other for all this time."
Asher could feel the sting of her words, echoing the hurt in Rowena's voice. He cursed himself internally. 'Was it that obvious? Did my face look that troubled?' He pondered.
Meeting her gaze, Asher confessed with a pained look, "There was something, Rona, something that had been eating away at me. But not anymore," He paused, taking a shaky breath yet said firmly, "I didn't want to weigh you down with it. I promise I'll share it with you when the time is right. Can you trust me to wait?"
Turning to face him, her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. She wondered why he couldn't share it now, though she didn't want to pressure him.
She reached out and gently cradled his hand between hers, looking deeply into his eyes, "I had this feeling, before you left for the quest, that something was off," she began, her voice trembling slightly, "I feared you were distancing yourself from me because of your growing closeness to Isola. I thought...you were falling out of love with me."
Asher's heart clenched at her admission. Gripping her hand tightly, he fervently responded, "That was never the case, Rona. It was never about falling out of love with you or getting closer to Isola for that reason."
Rowena's soft smile returned, alleviating some of the tension that had enveloped the room, "Seeing you now, especially after you returned, I can see the man I fell in love with. My worries were misplaced."
Asher sighed in relief, and raised his hand to caress her face as he said, "I'm sorry for making you doubt, even for a moment."
Her hand delicately cradled Asher's as she spoke in a quiet, almost tentative tone, "If you're not ready to share about what troubled you, I understand. But, I need to know – did Isola and Ceti play a role in easing that burden?"
Asher took a deep breath, his gaze distant, almost as if revisiting those tough times, "In a way, yes," he began, "They helped me survive it by simply being there for me. It was through their support that I recognized some important truths...including how deeply I love you."
Rowena's eyes, always so cold, softened at that moment, a vulnerability revealing itself, "All this while, I yearned to be the only one in your heart," she admitted, her voice gentle yet heavy with emotion, "It was selfish of me, especially in our realm where so many men have more than one woman in their lives. Also, given your position as my consort, I unwittingly felt that you could only belong to me."
Asher, slightly taken aback by her confession, responded earnestly, "Rona, it's okay to be selfish because I am no better in wanting you all for myself. You shouldn't blame yourself for feeling that way."
She shook her head slightly, her fingers caressing the fabric of his shirt, "I've thought about it. If Isola and Ceti were the reasons you came back to me whole, then I am grateful to them. And if they bring happiness to your life, I will be happy as well, and I'll stand by your choices," The weight of her words resonated in the room as she hugged him with a soft smile.
After what the High Seer had told her, Rowena realized that his happiness was her happiness. She couldn't bear to see him feeling troubled, just like how he was before the quest. And so, she was determined to do whatever it took to not let him be like that again.
Asher embraced her, pulling her close as he mumbled into her hair, "Rona..." He paused for a moment, gathering his emotions, "You've always been too good for me, and that's exactly why I will keep trying to be better."
Asher felt relieved, never expecting her to think about it while he was away. But his guilt only became even heavier upon seeing her so understanding.
"You are already more than the man I could ask for," Rowena softly smiled as she gently broke the embrace and, with her dainty fingers entwined with his, led him towards the window.
Outside, the sun was barely getting eclipsed by the moon, a rare celestial phenomenon.
As she stared at such a rare sight, she asked in a low voice, "Aren't you forgetting something important after being away for only 14 months?" Her cheeks took on a hint of blush as her back faced him.
He followed her gaze, a slow smile forming on his lips as he looked out the window as well, "This is the week of our Sacred Union, isn't it?" Asher said, wrapping his arms around her waist and placing his chin gently on her shoulder, "Seems like even the Devils wanted me back just in time. So how could I forget about it?"
Rowena, her cheeks now a deeper shade of red, trying hard to keep her chaotic thoughts in check, " "We...have a lot to plan for this week," She cleared her throat, adding, "So we can discuss matters concerning Isola and Ceti later, after this week."
Asher grinned, catching the hint in her voice. The thought of wanting to have him to herself for the entire week made her seem quite cute.
Whispering into her ear, he said, "I was thinking the exact same thing. And trust me, I can't wait to plan every single moment with you."
The two of them stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, the dance between the moon and the sun mirroring the harmony of their souls inside.
—
In the dim light, atop an empty rooftop, Silvan's silhouette stood out starkly against the muted crimson sky.
His jet-black hair fluttered softly against the gentle wind. With every hurried step, the emptiness in his dark red eyes seemed to deepen, a clear contrast to his pale complexion. Each movement gave away his turmoil, like a ghost tethered to the world of the living.
Suddenly, the sound of armored footsteps echoed through the corridors, growing louder and more frantic.
The scarlet shade of Ceti's hair seemed to blaze in the sunlight as she emerged onto the rooftop. The shine of her metal breastplate and armor sparkled against her red skin, highlighting her formidable stature.
Her dark blue eyes were filled with a mix of desperation and determination, "Silvan! Please wait," she called out worriedly.
The weight in his chest made Silvan pause, and he slowly turned to face Ceti, his gaze distant, "I don't think there's anything left to be said, Ceti," he replied, the edge in his voice cutting through the tense air between them.
Biting her lip, Ceti's voice trembled as she said, "I'm sorry, Silvan. I wanted to be the one to tell you. Not...not like this," Ceti winced as she remembered the moment they returned from the castle.
Moments before they got teleported, Asher teased her by pulling her into an embrace, and when they suddenly arrived at the castle, Silvan was only a couple of feet away and saw the compromising position she was in with Asher. She had momentarily forgotten they would be returning to the castle, and getting seen by Silvan like that caught her off guard, making her feel bad.
Silvan's wistful expression bore into her, "Seeing how close you are to the royal consort? How long has it been? Was I really that blind? Was it because of him you couldn't be with me? You should've been honest with me."
Taking a deep breath, Ceti shook her head, her ponytail swaying with the movement, "Everything... it all happened during the quest. It wasn't before. I promise."
She hesitated for a moment, her guilt evident in the droop of her shoulders, "I was never sure of my feelings towards you, Silvan. I didn't want to lie. That's why I couldn't give you the answer you wanted."
Amidst the delicate hues of the sun, Silvan's eyes searched Ceti's, seeking clarity amidst the whirlwind of emotions. His voice, gentle yet tinged with pain, questioned, "So, within 14 months, he earned your affection?"
Ceti's eyes momentarily lost their focus, becoming distant as memories rushed in, "I never intended for it to happen, Silvan. I... I didn't think I'd feel this way about him, but I couldn't stop myself even if I know I can't be with him considering who he is," she admitted, her voice shaking with sincerity.
A soft, bittersweet smile played on Silvan's lips, "If you truly fell for him, then he must be the right man for you." He paused, taking a deep breath to steady himself, "I'm sorry for misunderstanding everything. I just... I never realized you never saw me in that light."
Guilt washed over Ceti as she took in Silvan's calm acceptance, "You have nothing to apologize for. I should have been open about my feelings from the beginning," she said, her voice quivering.
Silvan's gentle smile returned, "It was my fault too. I tried to force my feelings on you, hoping... but I should've seen it. Can we still be good friends, Ceti? I don't want to lose whatever friendship we had all these years over this."
Relief visibly washed over Ceti, as she exhaled deeply, the weight of the world seemingly lifting off her shoulders, "Of course, Silvan. Thank you for understanding," She offered a subtle smile, appreciation shining in her eyes.
Yet, as her mind drifted to thoughts of Asher and the queen, a shadow passed over her face, her eyelids drooping slightly with the weight of unsaid thoughts and the complex web of emotions she was entangled in.
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