Chapter
Bored and feeling lazy, I ignored my studies and instead scoured the exam notification for any mistakes. My roommate caught me staring at the screen and asked, "What are you doing?"
"Oh, nothing," I replied, before heading to class.
Later, back in my dorm, I sat on my bed, considering playing chess online. But, I soon realized that it wouldn't be the same as playing with someone in person, as I held the pieces and plotted my moves.
The exam loomed closer each day, but I struggled to resist the urge to relax instead of study. My mind felt cluttered with information, leaving me with a sense of frustration and wasted time. Determined to make better use of my time, I set out to find Hasegawa, hoping to study with her once more.
Roaming the halls of the school's main building, I searched high and low for her, but to no avail. Just as I was about to give up, I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I was surprised to see Hasegawa standing before me. "Are you looking for someone?" she asked.
"H-Hasegawa..." I stammered, caught off guard by her sudden appearance. "Uh, yes, I was looking for you, actually," I finally answered.
"Oh?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Do you mind if we study together again?" I asked hesitantly.
"Of course," she replied, before adding with a smirk, "Just kidding, of course I'll study with you."
A wave of relief washed over me as I let out a small sigh of gratitude. We made our way to the library, which was only moderately populated with students. Despite the small number of people, the atmosphere was still tense and focused, reflecting the gravity of the upcoming midterm.
"I often wonder why the library isn't always packed," I said as we roamed the rows of bookshelves.
"I don't really think about it," Hasegawa responded. "People might be studying in their rooms, classes, or other places."
"I see," I replied, noting that Hasegawa wasn't carrying any books. I didn't want to pry, but I wondered if she had simply taken a break from her studies. With a hefty stack of books in hand, we made our way to my usual study spot. This time, the textbooks were tougher, and I hoped Hasegawa's help would keep my brain from becoming overwhelmed with all the information I needed to absorb. But, I reminded myself that I was not a machine, so there was no need to worry about overheating.
*
Just like before, Hasegawa only provided hints and not full answers. When I asked for help with a math problem, she'd give me the formula. And if I asked how to use the formula, she'd explain it in the context of similar formulas. The same applied to other subjects like history. she'd tell me to read a certain sentence or page. I felt like this method was making me smarter.
Hasegawa's approach seemed designed to make me smarter, by encouraging me to think and figure things out on my own that is what I believed. I often find myself in confusion even with Hasegawa's assistance. I can't seem to grasp the reasoning behind the formulas she provides.
It's strange how a small change, such as a dot, can completely alter the outcome of a formula in mathematics. It makes me wonder if the person who created it maybe had a few too many drinks.
After twenty minutes, Hasegawa unexpectedly rose from her seat once more. I expected for a goodbye, considering she had already been with me for twice as long as before.
"Ah, see you later then," I said, attempting to beat her to the punch.
"Hm? I wanted to go to the restroom," she replied, catching me off guard.
"O-Oh, I meant to say, see you later when you return from the restroom," I stumbled over my words, trying to improvise a suitable excuse.
"Hm~ I see," she responded with a soft smile, revealing that she had seen right through my ruse.
Despite my embarrassment, Hasegawa returned a minute later and resumed her seat next to me.
"Hasegawa, aren't you bored?" I asked, noting that she had been silently observing me as I wrote and solved questions.
"No, I'm not."
"Oh, still... sorry though."
"You don't have to apologize," she said, dismissing my concerns.
I gave a small hum in agreement before returning to my notebook.
As Hasegawa was explaining something to me, she suddenly stopped and stood up after around ten minutes.
"I need to leave now," she said abruptly.
"What? So soon? You haven't finished explaining."
"Just remember to use the same formula, but replace x with y," she said with a smile, before standing up and turning to leave. "I'm sorry, bye."
"Goodbye…" I waved, as she did the same before disappearing from my sight.
***
Several sunsets had come and gone since Hasegawa's departure, and I found myself floundering once again in my studies. The clarity of my memory had diminished, and only fragments of mathematical formulas remained, haunting me with their elusiveness. My attempts to apply them were met with frequent errors, a far cry from the confident strides I had taken on my first day of study.
I couldn't help but ponder the reasons for this setback in my progress. Perhaps my inconsistent schedule was to blame. I had allowed myself brief respites from my studies, taking one day to rest for every day spent in focused learning. This haphazard approach, I realized, had diminished my progress.
My lack of interest in my studies also played a role in my decline. The temptation of extended breaks was hard to resist, and I had fallen into the trap of procrastination. But as the exams loomed on the horizon, I was filled with regret for my neglect. It was a reminder that diligence and commitment were essential to achieving my goals.
The exam was quickly getting closer and before long, I'll be facing the most consequential test of my life.
This was going to be hard.
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