Chapter 156
This is how it all went down.
Yu-Hyun hadn’t brought a pen, so he borrowed one from the teacher for every exam. However, the machine didn't recognize Yu-Hyun's answer sheet because his pen had been faulty. Seeing his temporary report card with all subjects scored as 0, Yu-Hyun went to file a complaint, which led to the confrontation.
Usually, leniency would not have been granted since it was the student's fault for using a pen that the machine couldn’t pick up. But because Yu-Hyun used one of the pens kept in the teacher's office to lend to students, there was a collective consensus to re-grade his answer sheet.
As a result, Yu-Hyun’s combined mark for all four subjects was 398 out of 400. Needless to say, it was the highest score in the whole school. Due to the impact of the situation,, word spread among the students like wildfire.
Naturally, there was a change in the rankings. I went from 61st to 62nd, and In-Ah went from 1st to 2nd. I looked at In-Ah's expression as she received her temporary report card. She was expressionless as she looked up at me, and our eyes met. She smiled as I approached her.
"..."
I didn't know what to say, so I kept my mouth shut. It would be strange to ask if she was okay, but at the same time, I didn't feel like starting a casual conversation either. In-Ah nonchalantly folded her report card in half and put it in her desk drawer.
"Second place is still pretty good, right?" In-Ah said, smiling bashfully.
She smiled with her usual bright and cheerful smile. I tried to suppress my complicated feelings and smiled back at her. I hoped In-Ah didn’t catch on to the hidden emotions behind my smile. Even if she did, I hoped she would pretend not to notice.
"I don't really know because I ranked 62nd," I said jokingly.
"62nd is pretty good as well!"
"Are you making fun of me?"
"No, that’s not what I—!" In-Ah hurriedly explained, looking frazzled. "You're still in the top ranks, although you didn’t do as well as the previous evaluations.”
"Wow, what a roundabout way to tell me that my grades dropped..."
"No, no. That’s not what I meant. Why do you keep taking everything so negatively?"
She pouted. Seeing her like that, I couldn't help but laugh. I was glad I brushed things off as a joke.
Due to the commotion caused by Yu-Hyun, I went from 61st to 62nd place. That meant the people with a higher grade than me merely increased by one person: 60 to 61. However, In-Ah went from 1st to 2nd place. She had been studying with the goal of securing first place long before the exam started, so it would have been more of a shock for her than for me.
Although this alone wouldn't improve her mood, it would be enough to get her out of the immediate shock. As I was thinking so, I observed In-Ah's expression. There was a faint darkness in her smile.
"How many more exams do we have to take now?"
"Huh? Um..." In-Ah tilted her head. "If we exclude the exams in the third year... Then there are about six left. Why?"
"Then you have plenty of chances left. Get first place in all six."
At first, In-Ah seemed to have trouble comprehending my words and tilted her head from side to side. But she soon burst into laughter.
"Hey, you think that’s easy? It's not like other kids aren't studying."
"What, you can't do it?"
"...No? I can and I will." In-Ah had been smugly laughing and speaking confidently, and she lowered her gaze as soon as she finished her sentence.
She pouted, and her shoulders were slumped. The darkness that hung on her face grew deeper.
With her body crouched forward, she forced a tired smile and reluctantly said, "No, I take that back."
"..."
"I don't think I can do it. I worked really hard for the past few months... I don't think I can work any harder. No, honestly, I didn't even work hard. Other people must have worked harder...”
I looked into her eyes. Her pupils were vacant, and the corners of her eyes dropped down. I sensed a vague feeling of despair and resignation in her expression. Her once straightforward and easy-to-read emotions seemed blurry and distant today. It felt like a heavy and dense fog had settled between us.
Offering empty words of consolation didn’t seem like it would be much help. After a moment of hesitation, I spoke up.
"Do you want to grab dinner later?"
I planned to spend this weekend in the underground chapel, so I already talked to the dormitory supervisor and got permission to sleep outside the dorms. Thanks to that, I had plenty of time, at least enough time to spend a meal with In-Ah.
***
I saw students running on the field as I stepped outside. They were sweating buckets as they ran underneath the scorching sun.
Judging by the fact that Dae-Man seemed to be the leader, they seemed to be students from the Class of Diligence. Su-Ryeon sat under the shade, watched them with an amused expression, and suddenly burst into laughter while chatting with friends.
Although I didn’t notice it in the classroom, I could feel the summer blaze as soon as I set foot outside. I took off my jacket and hung it over my arm. In-Ah was dressed in her usual attire, wearing a hoodie over her school uniform.
"You’re not hot?" I asked, and In-Ah nodded as if it didn't bother her.
"Yeah, it's just a bit warm."
"You don’t get hot easily, eh?”
"Nope, summer is my friend. But I’m not that close to winter."
"You’re friends with summer?"
I chuckled and repeated her words for no reason. It was an interesting expression. In-Ah tilted her head with a puzzled look and glanced at me.
"What, why are you smiling? Let me in on the joke so I can smile as well!"
"No... I feel the same way. I prefer summer too."
I had made the statement to evade In-Ah's question, but it wasn't a lie. I also preferred summer over winter. One could cool down by staying still in the heat, but it didn’t work like that in the winter. The longer one stood still, the colder one would get. However, that didn’t necessarily mean that I liked summer. In fact, I didn’t like summer or winter.
In-Ah walked beside me and asked, "Yeah? Are you also close to summer?"
"Yeah. But I'm closer to you."
In-Ah didn't respond to my words. It was just a meaningless statement, so I didn't pay much attention and walked toward the school gate. She trailed behind me.
While walking, we saw Do-Jin and Ye-Jin coming out of the building. Do-Jin had been discharged from the hospital a few days ago, so he still needed to walk with the help of crutches.
Out of nowhere, Ye-Jin kicked Do-Jin’s crutches. Do-Jin looked up at Ye-Jin, his eyes dripping with killing intent. Ye-Jin laughed and helped Do-Jin up. There were so many people everywhere we looked, and they all seemed happy. In-Ah looked at Ye-Jin and Do-Jin and chuckled.
"They look really cute when they’re together."
"Cute?"
“Can’t you sense the atmosphere between them?" In-Ah said, walking and reaching out to touch a leaf hanging on a branch over the fence.
The leaf trembled as if responding to her touch. It looked as if she were shaking hands with the leaf.
We ate at a nearby restaurant and had dessert at a cafe. Our conversations were all over the place. We talked about exams, In-Ah's friends, and rumors that were going around. Most of the time, she talked, and I just listened. I reacted accordingly to what she had to say.
"So, then they did..."
In-Ah sat directly across from me, and her face turned rigid when she suddenly stopped talking. Her gaze was directed behind my shoulder. I turned my head to see what she was so surprised about, but I didn't see anything out of the ordinary.
"Why? What’s there?"
"Uh, um, nothing... um, I thought I saw someone, but I guess I was mistaken," she replied as if it was no big deal and continued to tell her story.
I continued to listen to her. When we left the cafe, the sun vanished from the sky. The faint glow that the sun left delayed the arrival of night. While I was looking at the sky, In-Ah stretched, and a cracking sound escaped from somewhere in her body.
"Ugh... ow. I've been sitting for too long. So where do we go now?"
"Hmm..."
I couldn't answer her question easily. I hadn't thought of any other things to do. Usually, I meticulously planned out my day, but today was different. I thought it would be good for us to have moments to wander around without any plans and just have fun.
I walked aimlessly for a moment, deep in thought. Then, something caught my eye. It was the flowers lined along the riverbank.
"Do you know any flower shops nearby?"
***
I went into a flower shop following In-Ah’s guidance.
It was pretty shabby, but that added to the flower shop’s unique atmosphere. I could smell the flowers before I stepped inside the building. The scent emitted by dozens, or rather, hundreds of flowers gathered together, was more intoxicating than fragrant.
"Why flowers all of a sudden?"
"I want one."
Granbwa had asked me to grow a flower in exchange for her forgiveness. I didn't know why she made such a request, but in order to use her power, I needed to grant her request.
I saw the flowers and seeds displayed at the flower shop. I wanted to choose something easy to grow, but it wasn't easy to decide because I didn't know which flowers would be less of a hassle.
“Do you have any favorite flowers?"
"Huh?"
In-Ah was looking at the displayed flowers with a slight smile and suddenly looked up after I asked my question.
"Um... cherry blossoms?"
Granbwa interjected as soon as In-Ah finished speaking.
[Cherry blossoms would be challenging to grow.]
Even I thought that it would be challenging to grow.
"Something other than that."
"Hmm... then, what was it? There was something. What was the name? Don’t forget me?"
"Forget-me-not."
In-Ah nodded and repeated my words.
"Oh, that’s it. Forget-me-nots."
I thought I could grow Forget-me-nots. If anything, they were probably easier to grow than a cherry blossom tree. I asked the flower shop owner where the forget-me-not seeds were and bought them on the spot, along with things like a pot and some soil.
The seeds were small and round. It was fascinating to think that these tiny things would grow into flowers. By the time we left the flower shop, it was already night. The crescent moon was leaning on one side amidst the pitch-black night sky. In-Ah yawned but quickly shut her mouth as soon as our eyes met.
"Are you tired?"
In-Ah nodded slowly in answer to my question.
"A little. My stamina has been going down..."
"You should work out. Your stamina is probably going down because you’re just sitting around all the time."
"I do exercise, you know?"
"What kind of exercise?"
"...I'll do it after the practical exam." In-Ah hesitated for a moment and then blurted, "You’re just saying it like you always do... I will do it. Now stop nagging."
In-Ah covered her ears.
"Listen to me. And stop being so weak all the time."
"You don't listen to me either. You’re one to talk, being as skinny as you are,” In-Ah muttered, her lips pursed.
"...Don’t talk back to me," I said, a little upset.
In-Ah opened her mouth wide, pretending to be surprised.
"Wow, you're so old-fashioned."
“No, I'm not."
"But you are, you old-fashioned man.”
Judging by her tone, she clearly wanted to tease me. She also used her facial expressions to try and mock me as much as possible. I was a little annoyed, but I kept it in because she seemed to be having so much fun doing so.
Even as we walked, In-Ah continued to tease me, and I just kept walking without responding to her.
"By the way, where are we going?" she asked as she walked beside me.
"Hmm. Should we go to your place?"
"Huh...? W-what are you planning to do, coming to my house in the middle of the night?"
“Who said you were coming? I’m going there myself."
"Oh, stop joking around. Seriously." In-Ah laughed and tapped my shoulder.
"Let's just keep walking for now for the sake of exercising."
"But it's tiring."
"Stop complaining."
"You... you should start to speak more kindly."
"You have to listen to me for me to speak kindly."
"Ugh, ha! Fine! You're so ridiculous. Seriously, I can’t believe it."
I put on my coat that had been hanging on my arm. It was hot during the day, but the weather cooled down a bit after the sun had set.
In-Ah looked at me as if she was in a bad mood but still walked beside me, her mouth closed shut. We only stopped when we arrived in front of the school.
Even at night, F.A. still stood in its grandeur. The tall roof of the main building seemed to pierce the sky, and a faint light flowed from the patterned windows of the dormitory building.
In-Ah shifted her gaze between me and the numerous buildings with a puzzled face.
"Why the school?"
"I left something behind, so I wanted to get it."
"Really? Hurry up and get it, then. I'll stay here."
"I'm scared to go alone. Come with me," I said as I entered the school.
Of course, it was a lie. In-Ah stood near the school gate, hesitating to step onto the school grounds.
"Would it even make a difference to take me with you?"
"Wouldn’t it be less scary?"
"C-can’t you just go alone?"
"Wow. You can’t even do this for a scared friend?"
"...Ah, okay. I’m coming," In-Ah reluctantly replied and tailed behind me.
She huddled her body and looked around anxiously. It seemed that she was scared of the dark. The school's atmosphere was especially eerie and spooky after the darkness had set upon it. I had gotten used to the nights at school after living in the dorms, but the same couldn't be said for In-Ah.
I took her to a secluded alley where I had received the dice from Baron Samedi. The bench was in the same spot. Flowers and grass had grown and now decorated the said bench. No one was around there, and I couldn’t hear a sound.
"Y-you said that you were here to get something. Why did you come here?” In-Ah asked with a suspicious look on her face.
I sat on the bench.
"I lied, of course.." I replied casually.
"You tricked me..."
"What's wrong with a little deception?" I said with a smile.
In-Ah approached me slowly and sat beside me, maintaining a distance that was neither too close nor too far.
This area was particularly dark to the point where I couldn't even make out In-Ah's face, even though she was right next to me. The flowers and grass swayed in the wind and brushed against my clothes.
"This place has a nice atmosphere. Nice and quiet," In-Ah said, looking around.
I nodded.
"I like this place. Not a lot of people come here."
"So this is the place. I was wondering where you smoked."
"I told you, I don't smoke..."
"Yeah, yeah. I believe you,” In-Ah said in a patronizing manner.
I sighed, giving up. Our conversation came to a stop. No words were exchanged, and I couldn’t hear anything but her rhythmical, soft breathing.
In the midst of silence and tranquility, I recalled the conversation I had with Baron Samedi.
[It means that the time has come for that friend to leave,] Baron Samedi said with a meaningful laugh amidst the room filled with purple cigarette smoke.
The coughing that made me choke stopped around that time. My breath was so constructed that I couldn't cough properly.
"W-Wait... why?"
[There usually isn’t a reason for death.]
"She doesn’t... look too healthy, but she doesn’t look like she is going to die. Other than being a little thin..."
[Death doesn’t come with warnings.]
Without realizing it, I raised my voice.
"The fuck? Then what is there?"
My shout sounded dry and congested. It felt like my tongue was swollen and was blocking my throat. The sound did not come out—it stayed in my mouth and was eventually swallowed.
I took a deep breath, and the purple smoke filled my lungs. I felt a strange dizziness.
"Then she'll die soon,” I said with a slight tremble, calming down my agitated heart.
[It is a possibility. The fact that she can smell my cigar means that she’s come close to death.]
"..."
[Death exists in various forms. Her form of death is inherently more distinct than others, but that doesn't necessarily mean she will die. For example...]
Baron Samedi continued to speak. It could be a temporary state of physical or mental weakness, or because she was suffering from an illness, or because they were indifferent and accepting of death.
Her form of death might have been more precise due to various factors such as health, mentality, mindset, and many other factors.
I couldn’t find comfort in his words. The fact that In-Ah was not in that good of a condition remained unchanged. Her death had become apparent due to various reasons because she was studying too hard and worrying about different things.
And some of them must have been my fault as well. Not being able to bring Yoon-Ah back as a person must have played a significant role.
"What are you looking at?"
At that moment, I could hear In-Ah’s voice.
"The sky."
"What’s in the sky that’s making you stare at it so intently?"
"The stars. If you look closely, you can see them."
"Really?"
In-Ah raised her head, following my actions. After staring at the sky for a few seconds, she spoke up.
"Actually, now that I’m looking at it closely, I can make out one or two."
"If you count, there are quite a few," I said, raising my head to look at the sky alongside In-Ah.
Sometimes, my eyes refused to make out letters from a book, even after pushing away the creeping drowsiness and trying to lift my heavy eyelids. Times like these came when I was studying for tests. Every time it happened, I would secretly escape from the dormitory and come here to sit and talk with Legba.
When even talking became boring, I would raise my head and look up to the sky to count the stars. The darker it was on the ground, the brighter the stars in the night sky shone. By the time I counted one star, another one in its proximity would reveal itself. And when I counted that new star, another one would appear.
When I would count the stars one by one to the point where I would start to forget exactly how many stars I had counted, I looked around in the night sky.
As I did so, I would see all the stars I counted filling up the night sky. The dark night sky would then be filled with light, and the distant stars seemed to get closer as if they would fall at any moment. I enjoyed those moments.
It was tiring to stay up all night, but I had fun counting during the night. I suddenly had the urge to teach her how to do so, which was why I brought her here.
"You should take some breaks."
"Huh?" In-Ah responded with confusion.
My eyes were still looking up at the sky.
I continued, “Take some breaks, whether studying or doing anything else. Don't wean your lifespan."
"...What? You make it sound like I’ve worked extremely hard. And what's wrong with using my lifespan a bit?"
"You have to live for a long time."
I hoped she would stay alive at least until Yoon-Ah fully recovered and, ideally, long after that. I couldn’t exactly explain my reasoning. Was it guilt or some other emotion? I preferred to think of it as guilt.
In-Ah listened to me and cracked a smile.
"For how long? Maybe until I turn a hundred?"
"No, about five hundred years."
"Hey, isn't that too much?"
"What, isn’t it good to live for a long time?"
"Wouldn’t it be tiring to be alive for so long? ...But what meaning does this have? It's not like you can live longer just because you want to," In-Ah said, dropping her gaze from the sky to the ground.
She seemed to have finished counting the stars. Her shoulders were slumped back, and she aimlessly stuck the ground with her heel.
"I have a question for you."
"Yeah, fire away."
"Um, you..." She hesitated to speak and then trailed off. "...Never mind, I forgot."
"I won't be able to sleep tonight if you don’t tell me."
"Then don't."
"Oof, that’s rough."
I laughed for no reason. She also laughed softly, following my lead. The laughter that faintly appeared beyond the darkness quickly disappeared. In its place, a slight sadness remained.
In-Ah looked at me with eyes filled with an indescribable warmth or coldness and said, “Please don't lie to me."
It was a profound statement.
I nodded. I had made a promise that I couldn’t keep. In-Ah seemed satisfied with my response and smiled brightly. Somehow, her smile, which I couldn't make out before in the darkness, was now crystal clear.
After saying farewell to In-Ah, I went to the underground chapel. And I saw her sister.
She looked almost the same as In-Ah, except for her slightly pale skin. They resembled each other a lot, and it made me sad. I kneeled in front of Yoon-Ah. She sat on the floor with her mouth half open, staring blankly into space, and I met her gaze.
"I'm sorry. Can you wait a little longer?"
Yoon-Ah nodded slowly as if she were trying to respond. Although she could only move her head for now, she would smile brightly like In-Ah one day.
On that day, everything will be fine. Everyone will be happy.
When that day comes...
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry..."
A familiar dizziness and headache set in.
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