Chapter 381: Broken Quests and Unexpected Guests
A terrible ceremony was taking place in the Great Burrow of Her Majesty Wistyburble, The Under Rodent. One of her minions had been called into her presence to answer for their actions. This never went well for the minion. If she was annoyed enough to call you into her burrow, chances were pretty good you weren't walking or crawling back out.
So it was with great fear that the dread necromancer Benny T. Bunny walked down through the levels of the dungeon not yet seen by any adventurer. Along the way, he passed Hefty, The Big Rat, and received a nod of encouragement from the huge Underboss. It hadn't been easy for Hefty lately. The raiding players had gotten better, and he was being 'farmed' weekly by a guild. It took a lot out of an Underboss to put up with that, week after week. Benny had it easier since The Bunny Barrow was limited to low-level players. His minion, Mayor Burpicus, was defeated now and then, and Benny would be forced to retreat to his laboratory to remake his undead soldiers. But those were hard-earned victories by the players, and he didn't begrudge them some celebrating when they won. Everyone had a role to play in the story of the world, and Benny was thankful for his promotion to minor underboss. Until now.
He approached her throne, quailing at the power of her aura and in awe of her perfect ears. Benny's ears, attached to his bare skull, were made of bone and leather. If there was one thing he missed about being a live rabbit, it was having long, glorious ears. Not that it was going to matter much longer, in any case.
"Explain yourself! Changes have been made to my dungeon, and nearly a quarter of my minions have been lost to this...this 'Hollow,' vexing me greatly."
"ah, well...you see...It started with Roquefort. He was the rat assigned that day to lead the small group of rats that invaded the tavern's cellar and triggered the first quest. He encountered two adventurers who talked them into an alternate quest ending. That led to Roquefort introducing them to Sniveltail, the ratkin in the second quest."
There was a rumbling growl from the Under Rodent. "Let me guess, another alternate ending where one of my quests is terminated."
Benny groveled as best he could. "Yes, your magnificence. And then they entered my dungeon. It shouldn't have been allowed! They are too powerful, far beyond what my poor little beginner dungeon was created to deal with. I felt them coming and tried to stop them, but the large one pushed, and my barriers broke! Once inside, they began talking to the poor, pitiful creatures who begged adventurers to save them from my sinister creations. Before I knew what was happening, the village was changing. I dispatched Mayor Burpicus to deal with them and followed with my skeleton shock troops, but as soon as I saw them, I knew the battle was lost. The Knight of the Jackelope simply spun on one toe and delicately kicked Burpicus the length of the cavern, where he exploded on the wall. The Knight's squire was revealed to be a Bonemancer of great power. My minions ran to attack, and with one hand, he weakened them, making them brittle as eggshells. With the other, he wove runes that shattered them. In one casting, he destroyed minions that I took a month to put together. I fell into despair."
Wistyburble leaned forward, looking at her underboss. It was so hard to get good help these days. Benny had started as nothing more than another skeletal bunny that roamed the nighttime, a minor threat for level-one players. He'd managed to become a boss in a Tier One dungeon through luck and hard work. But that didn't excuse what he'd done. She'd also worked hard, through long centuries, to carve out her lair from nothing. And now that the wellspring of mana under Gadobhra was flowing again, she had no intention of returning to her father's lair, as just another minor boss. Letting two adventurers change her dungeon was unacceptable.
"And what did they offer you that you agreed not to attack this new hollow as soon as they left?"
"Well, the Knight told me he didn't like sneaky bad guys, and if I were going to be one, he'd put me in a jar and fill it with pickle juice until my bones were soft and mushy. The squire suggested I move my dungeon to a lower level and only attack the players who came to raid my treasures. That sounded better than being in a jar and my dungeon falling into disrepair. But they did give the Hollow a book. I brought it for you to see."
Carefully, Benny crept forward, placed the book by the Under Rodent's dainty feet, and retreated. One delicate, sharp-clawed hand retrieved it. "How interesting. It takes a Hollow to make the Cheese; I have heard of this book. But why would a Fae Knight and human have this, and why would they care so much about dungeon dwellers? I was going to grind your bones to dust, Benny, but I have a better idea."
Benny quivered, hoping it wasn't a jar of pickle juice. Her next words surprised him. "Hefty needs a vacation, and it's time for you to learn how to be a boss on a deeper level. Maybe a few dozen times dealing with full raids of Tier 3 players will teach you a lesson."
Sir Larry and Squire Squeak carried their large milk buckets as they headed to the pastures in search of something to milk. Each had only a vague idea that cows could be milked, let alone how to do it. Things were done differently in Limburger Hollow. But they'd succeeded already today in crossing something off of the Prince's bucket list.
"Did starting a Hollow count for the quest to found a city? Larry hopes it does. That's a tough one."
Squire Squeak had pulled out a long roll of enchanted parchment, found item number 763, and drawn a line through it. The magical calligraphy brush would only leave a mark if they had accomplished their goal. "Yep, looks like it counts. We also took care of number 936, which was about doing quests in Taverns. Prince Leporidon finished 997 quests, and our three bring us to an even thousand. That completes the first part of the job, now we can work on individual quests for bonus points. It was very efficient that completing 763 also counted for 936."
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Ahead of them, they saw a Shepherd with a large butterfly. Georgie, the lizard, raced forward, barking playfully and running around him. The Shepherd bent down and scratched his head. "This is a smart Watch Lizard! He can speak Houndish. That has to come in handy. I hear you need some guidance on milking sedge beasts. I'm Rolly, and I'm glad to help."
Larry was enchanted with the large, brightly colored butterfly hovering around the Shepherd. "You have a pet Butterfly?"
The bug's wings buzzed, annoyed at the question, and she spoke.
The Knight nodded in understanding. "That makes more sense. Butterflies are the smartest people in Flower Town. They never get tied up and captured like the fairies and cute little woodland animals by the Pickle Gang."
The bug and the Knight continued to talk, and seeing this, Squire Squeak tried to follow the Shepherd's advice on milking sedge beasts. He found that you could tell which could be milked by checking their equipment. He also found that the not-a-cow beasts became very annoyed when you checked their equipment. The Shepherd had to rescue him twice as he ran from angry Sedge Bulls. Eventually, the Squire had two large buckets filled with thick, brown, stinky milk. He started to trudge back to town, limping slightly from his ordeal. The next stop was the cheesemaker, a woman named Betty.
"Oh, such good boys. Two buckets of stinky milk to help me make the cheese. I can give you ten copper pennies for a reward or a sliver of cheese from a wheel I made last week."
The Knight decided for them. "Cheese, of course!"
Betty hadn't expected that. She only made the stuff for the quest and then put it on the back steps to cure. Usually, some ratkin from the dungeon would steal it by morning, saving her the trouble of getting rid of the stinky stuff. It got more pungent the longer it cured and could drive you out of the house if left too long. How anyone else could eat the stuff was beyond her.
"Larry has never tasted cheese this stinky! It is the stinkiest, for sure. Can Larry have more?"
Squire Squeak was enjoying his own slice. "Let's find out for sure." Taking his brush, he successfully crossed through line 109. "You're correct as always, Sir Larry. That is the stinkiest cheese in the world. One more quest finished." The two of them sat and ate all of the small brick of brown, crumbling cheese and then looked at her sadly. "Is there more?"
"Off with you two. Bring me more milk, and I'll make more cheese. Head to the tavern. You'll fit in perfectly. This is the night anyone with bunny ears eats for half price."
The Squire and Knight walked back to the tavern. "Larry likes this town.
Suzette had forgotten which night it was. The idea of 'Bunny Girls drink free' had worked for the first couple of nights back when adventurers were just starting to pour into town. A few people had been cursed with rabbit ears when they lost to Mayor Burpicus, starting with Dot, Libby, and Charlene. But after that, more and more people beat the dungeon and got the better version. They became stylish. And the bunny boys were upset they didn't get free drinks. So she'd changed it to half off for anyone with long ears. It was still a huge pain because putting that many players in one spot always caused trouble.
But people liked it, and the tavern made money. So they kept doing it. She dreaded trying to run the tavern by herself after giving Zephyr and her father the night off. It turned out they remembered and had planned to come to her rescue after a family dinner. And not just the two of them. PHzero was helping, as was Adrianna, and she was starting to relax. Her calm lasted only until the Knight and his Squire returned and sat down at a large table by the stairs. They were giving off the distinctive odor of stinky cheese, so their quest must have been successful. But she needed to know what they had done to her quests!
She'd asked other people, and it seemed that only she had received the notifications so far, but a dungeon shouldn't change like that. She needed information on what they had done.
The Knight called out to her. "Hello again, nice tavern lady. We have returned for a half-price dinner and more quests to do tomorrow!"
She knew she had to be careful how she phrased things; the Fae could be touchy. "I have a lovely vegetable soup today. I would gladly trade you two large bowls for a story of your adventures today and what you did."
A silken voice spoke behind Suzette, and she saw the Squires' eyes widen in terror. "I would know that story as well. I think it quite appropriate for the Dungeon Keeper, myself, and two such brave adventurers to discuss what you did to my dungeon."
Suzette slowly turned, noting every eye in the room was looking at the woman who had just walked up the stairs from below. If the barmaid hadn't known exactly who this must be, she would have thought her another Fae come to visit. She was tall with an earthly beauty and long white hair that cascaded from a head topped with not one but two pairs of ears. She was clothed in black dragon-scale armor, and small scales decorated her face and arms. She smiled at Suzette, showing the sharp teeth of a carnivore.
"How appropriate that you celebrate in my honor. I'll have the soup as well; it smells delicious."
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