Chapter 375: Date Night
Ozzy looked up at the nearly inflated dragon. One more huff and puff should fill it up. The heat and air pressure were rising, and it was getting hard to force more hot smoke into it. Rolly had just come up from below and said Ben was looking at the last door, but everyone else was out. Hopefully, they could leave soon; this place was taking its toll on everyone. It wasn't just the loss of mana. He was still over half. The horrible feeling as it was sucked out of you added a level of mental trauma. And if it affected him this way, with the ability of a contract worker to shrug off mental trauma, how the hell did anyone else handle it? No wonder the inmates in this prison were all nearly insane. Without Granny, it would have been much harder to rescue them. The Hags were a strange family but good people. All three had volunteered to come on this hell ride. Jenny was holding her line with a happy smile on her face, but it was almost time for another pulse.
"How are you holding up, Jenny?"
Jenny laughed, showing her sharp, iron teeth. It was a joyous laugh that sent a tingle down Ozzy's spine. "Oh, I'm holding up just fine. It hurts terribly every time the tower glows, but it will be over soon, and I want to see what happens. I thrive on chaos, and this place is full to the brim. And more is on the way; I can feel it in my bones. Something terrible is about to happen. So don't worry about little Jenny; just make sure you can keep up."
Ozzy was pondering her words with a sinking feeling in his gut, and only a few seconds later, the howling of the wind was swept away by an ear-shattering roar from high above them. It rolled on and on, punctuated with lesser rumbles and growls. Jenny was laughing and shaking her fist at the sky. Ozzy felt the roar carve through nearly all of his mental protection, and he had a sudden urge to save himself by diving off the tower. Squirmie flew to Rolly, who changed to his human form and wrapped her in his arms as she shivered uncontrollably. Ozzy had never seen the bug act that way.
Rolly looked worried for her, but then he smiled at Ozzy as he realized what was in the clouds above them. "A dragon! A BIG dragon. It's an Ancient Ice Drake, from what he's saying. Probably came down with the winter storms."
"You can understand him?"
"Oh, sure. I learned Draconic while in Tartarus, but a lot of it is similar to the language of dragons in the earlier games, and it's not far from Duckish, in any case. He's boasting about his accomplishments. The usual things: How many knights he's killed, the size of his hoard, and his sexual prowess."
Ozzy looked up at the balloon and vowed to visit the halflings he'd bought it from and have a long talk with them. "Please tell me that thing isn't attracted to the balloon we need to escape on!"
"Sorry, but he's really happy to see her. He keeps mentioning how cute her tail is. This is going to cause a problem. As soon as we move the balloon higher, he'll think she's accepted his amorous offer and will dive down to us, ready to begin the honeymoon. Normally, we'd be safe here for a few days. Dragon mating rituals can be long and convoluted. He's going to brag about how good a lover he is, trying to impress her and wait for her to signal that she's ready for some hot dragon love."
"And he won't be happy to find out his new girlfriend is inflatable and has some little stowaways under her belly."
Rolly grinned. "Oh, not at all. That's a horrible insult to a dragon of his lineage. I mean, he'd eat us no matter what, but now he'll be so pissed that he takes his time chewing so he can prolong the screams."
The discussion was interrupted by Ben and the last prisoner running up the ramps. The old man raised his arms and jumped up and down when he saw the dragon.
"AMAZING! It even sounds like a real dragon! You've outdone yourself, Benjamin. I was so happy to hear that you had applied my conjectures on the subject of using expanding gasses to defy gravity. But to see that you went the extra mile to animate the balloon and add a realistic dragon roar is the attention to detail that separates the apprentice from the master. Well done, nephew!"
Rolly and Ozzy couldn't help but laugh at the look on Ben's face.
"While I appreciate the compliments, Uncle Damien, I have to point out one small detail." Another roar came from above, making Ben's point for him.
Damien looked from the Balloon to Ben and then up at the clouds of falling snow, squinting. "You used a balloon that mimics the mating habits of dragons to entice an Ancient Ice Drake! Outstanding! I never would have thought of that. Or if I did, I've forgotten thinking of it; memory gets strange at my age and with the number of times I've been hit in the head. Getting dragon parts to experiment with has always been a major problem, and you've shown me an easy way to do it. How are you going use the beast to aid in our escape?"
Ben smiled his most trusting smile. "That's the fun part, Uncle Damien! We decided to do this mission on pure improvisation. It's sort of a talent of my little group; we make things up as we go. And, because you're family, I've talked them into letting you contribute as well. We've all had a round to devise the perfect plan; now it's your turn."
The old man stood still momentarily, then a tear ran down his face. "Thank you, Ben. I've always said that family are the people you can't dump into a deep cave and ignore. You've proven that old proverb true. Your faith in me truly touches me. It also worries me deeply about you, but we can work on your trust issues later and eliminate some of them. Plenty of time to stamp those out."
Damien looked around and put a finger to his lips. "Now, everyone, be quiet and don't give me hints; I love a good puzzle. I see that we have one inflatable dragon with no means of producing hot gasses, so I will assume that the small firewalker you brought along is capable of producing enough heat, especially since I can smell the Mage's Delight he's chewing. The lovely Greenhag aids him in keeping our conveyance from floating off, but how can it support the weight of two such people if their weight is sufficient to hold it down? I'll worry about that later; the solution doesn't require everyone to make it out alive. Two shape changers are versatile and can fill many roles. AHA! A Hefty Bag of Large Capacity? I'd assumed at first you had tossed all the crazy people over the edge, but I see now that you've kept them for scientific study, and well done on that. Oh, ten seconds, by the way. But let's get that bag into the gondola while we wait."
So saying, Damien picked up Ozzy's weightless bag and tossed it into the gondola. He flexed his skinny arms. "Good to see those strength supplements I invented are working. Hard to choke down the pills each day, but you can't argue with success."
The pulse hit. Ben gritted his teeth, while Rolly didn't even react other than to hold Squirmie as she shook. Jenny quivered in anticipation of what she could feel was about to happen. Ozzy was starting to get used to it as the pain got high enough to count as torture, and his resistance kicked in. To everyone's surprise, Damien just took a deep breath as if he enjoyed it.
"Ah, nothing like a good mana drain to clear the sinuses. I never should have insulated my cell. I could have been leveling my resistance to the effect this whole time. I have no regrets; it gives me something to work on in my old age. Now, where were we? Oh, yes, escaping! And it's my turn still. You there, Shepherd! What was the Drake's reaction to the pulse?"
Rolly had continued to listen to the huge dragon as it bragged about what he intended to do with his new wife. Rolly had learned dozens of new phrases he would have to ask Echidna to explain to him. "Right after it hit, he seemed surprised, then laughed about it. He was amused at how weak it was and took it as a sign that our balloon finds him attractive and is barely putting up a defense."
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Damien nodded. "He probably has in excess of a quarter million mana and so much universal mitigation that it felt like a love tap. That's good! He won't be so cautious now."
He walked over to the balloon, staring at the tubes used to fill it and the valves that would deflate it. "Alright, I'm ready to take my turn. I need the lovely hag to step into the gondola. Your weight will hold down the balloon, and when it comes time to launch, you can jump in the sack." He turned to Ben and lowered his voice. "Not the first time I've asked a Hag to jump in the sack, and probably not the last."
"Next, I need the small, winged person to shift a rope to the deflation valve in the rear portion of the dragon, just under the tail. Tie it off to the gondola, but don't open the valve. If I've calculated correctly, we should have enough thrust, but we can't waste any of it. There should be another small valve in the neck; do the same to that one, but by all you hold dear, don't pull it! Nephew, bring that lovely ring for yours over to this contraption and use it to knock three times."
Ben did so, and the two halves of the dome contracted, leaving a gleaming machine of wires, glass globes, crystalline batteries, and unknown magitech components. On the ground were several satchels filled to overflowing with gems and treasure or spare magitech parts. One satchel was empty, and Damien picked that one up.
"Benjamin, please toss these valuables and spare parts into the hefty bag. There is no time to worry about sorting them properly, but we'll need them down the line for other projects. Never throw anything away, and recycle when you can. Two habits that every student of science needs to have."
Damien studied the machine, stared at the sky, and seemed satisfied.
"Alright, places, everyone; I'll start the sequence after the next pulse. Benjamin, I want you to man the release valve. Shepherd, into the bag, we need to be as light as we can. Large person or small firewalker? Sorry, it looks like you've volunteered to stay and taunt the dragon. It won't work, but it's better than sitting around with nothing to do. Please feel free to come beg for a job as a lab assistant in your next incarnation." Smiling at Jenny, he said. "As for you, my dear. You should get into the bag as soon as I jump into the gondola. Is everyone ready? Not that it matters."
Before anyone could argue, the next pulse went off. Damien took a hammer from the seemingly empty satchel and hit a hard blow to the top of the machinery that controlled the mana circulating through the tower. The brittle crystals and glass shattered, and nearly every piece fell apart, to be sucked into the satchel, which Damien quickly closed. Bright flashes of blue mana began flashing from all over the tower. He ran and jumped into the gondola, storing the satchel and hammer in the hefty bag.
To his surprise, the large dragonfly doubled in size, and the Shepherd copied its form. The two bugs flew to the top of the dragon to help lift and control it, their wings beating fast like propellers. Jenny dived into the bag, even though she longed to stay for the main part of the show. Hopefully, it would be horrific. Then, Granny could take the memories from her sleeping friends and give them to her. Hags didn't waste good nightmares.
Ozzy was barely holding the balloon down. "Ready to take off whenever you are, Captain."
Damien was holding the cord to the neck. "Good of you to volunteer to stay. Wait for my command; the timing of this has to be perfect....just a bit more...NOW!"
Ozzy shrunk to his six-foot size and leaped aboard the gondola, which began to rise. Damien laughed. "Oh, I do so love a good improv!" He pulled the cord going to the ja of the dragon as they rose into the air. The jaws opened, and hot air was forced through a series of baffles, resulting in a sound that resembled a loud moan more than a roar. The Ice Drake roared in reply from high overhead and dove down to meet his betrothed. The balloon's tail lifted high in the air, and the head turned and winked.
Ozzy stared in horror at the descending dragon, realizing what that sound was. "A mating lure? The fething halflings added a mating lure? Are they insane?"
Damien nodded in appreciation. "I know! Such craftsmanship! We need to order another dozen. But first, Ben, release the aft valve, and everyone, please hold on tight."
The drake was nearly on them as Ben pulled the cord, opening the deflation valve. Superheated air jetted out the back of the dragon, glowing in the night air and sending yet another mating signal to the excited dragon swooping down on them. It also shot the balloon straight ahead and out of his path. The huge bulk of the Ancient Ice Drake impacted the top of the tower as it came in for a forced landing, shattering the stones of the top floor. It roared playfully at the balloon as it pulled one leg after another from the broken floor.
Rolly called down. "He said he loves a woman who plays hard to get."
Ozzy had many sarcastic replies he wanted to make but was too busy breathing hot smoke into the rapidly deflating balloon as it jetted further from the tower. His furnace was dropping low, and he was out of bacon, but he huffed and puffed as hard as he could. On top of the balloon, Rolly and Squirmie added what they could to the velocity of the balloon,
Damien yelled to Ben. "Close that valve! Five seconds...4..3..2..1... 0..."
"Where is the Kaboom? There was supposed to be an earthshattering kaboom!"
Damien scowled in frustration. "Oh, damn me for a novice! Cataclysmite doesn't explode from vibrations at temperatures below -50 degrees Fahrenheit! It needs a fuse or spark! The damned Drake must have frozen all the traps when he got close. His aura froze everything solid, and I should have taken that into account. Well, that's disappointing. I was sure I solved the conundrum, but that Drake is still there and about to flap his way over here, however clumsily. My turns over, who's next?"
Ben was staring at the tower's base, seeing a building blue glow. "I'm next." He snapped his fingers.
The next pulse was generated by the mana rift at the tower's base and raced around it, spiraling to the top. Without the machinery to control the surge and nowhere to go, the burst of wild mana exploded in every direction, annoying the Ice Drake, who was finding it difficult to fly away from the tower. The uncontrolled magic condensed and caused random effects. A swarm of hornets appeared, along with a rainbow and a large acidic slime. One of those effects was a small fireball that manifested in Vladimir's cell, setting off the explosive traps on his door. The chain reaction followed down the entire tower, cell by cell. The explosive force mixed with the pulse of uncontrolled mana, creating a chain reaction that raced down to the mana rift. Deep in the ground, runic formations built over the centuries to contain and control the rift were rent asunder, and what had been a small tear in reality tore and heaved until it became a huge fissure that released a torrent of wild magic. The area for miles around glowed blue as a spear of wild magic poured from the uncontrolled rift into the rapidly crumbling tower.
All of this happened in the split second after Ben snapped his fingers. As the shockwave hit them, the balloon was sent hurtling through the air, spinning end over end, with all aboard hanging on for dear life. The tower glowed brightly as the sun as it exploded, sending shattered stone straight up through the air, before the debris crashed back down and most of it was absorbed by the rift. No one in the balloon saw what happened to the dragon, but from his scream of frustration, he knew that date night wasn't going to turn out like he planned.
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