Chapter 316: The Emperor's Birthday, (4).
"Push! Fat Fingers! Push!" Myrna shouted excitedly as she cooked sausages and hot peppers; the heat from her grill charred parts of the wagon and forced hungry customers to step back. She slapped another six sausage and pepper sandwiches together, and a brave soldier rushed forward, grabbed them, and retreated to safety. Another soldier tossed a handful of coins into a half-full bucket nailed to the wagon's side. The kobold threw more food onto her grill, infused heat into the metal, and started another batch of food, never taking her eyes off the contest taking place in front of the wagon.
The parade ground of the Legion Fortress in Wolfsburg was lit up in celebration of the Emperor's Birthday, and the restrictions on alcohol were relaxed for those off duty. Races and contests were a traditional part of the celebration, and in the center of the area, surrounded by a ring of soldiers, Ozzy, and his huge opponent strained against each other in an arm wrestling match. The two of them had each defeated several challengers and then lost a round. They were battling it out for third place before the final round started. It was an even match, so far, both men straining to get a better grip on the other and gain an advantage. Minutes went by, and money changed hands. The Butcher was a dark horse in the betting against the known quality of the other contenders.
Men from the Legion and the Red Banner had been out to the sausage wagon time and again to bring back food. Then, late in the evening, they ran into a dilemma. Orders had come down to shut the gates and remove all visitors. That would mean no more hot sausages, the party was just starting, and the Butcher had four barrels of food left to cook. The problem had been kicked up the line until it was brought to the attention of Senior Centurion Gaius. Gaius considered the dilemma. Normally, something like food wouldn't be an excuse to bend the rules, but newly enlisted 'Private Gus' was fond of hot food, had already enjoyed one of the grilled sausage and hot pepper sandwiches, and would surely want something else to eat. Gaius decided to inspect the two cooks personally, to ferret out would-be assassins, and declare them safe to enter.
Marching up with two soldiers, he stood in line and inspected the kobold chef. She was easy to read; all of her skills pertained to cooking food, along with a few low-level fire aspected abilities. She wasn't a threat, although her food might be. The potency of the peppers she was using bordered on weapons grade.
The Butcher was another matter. At first glance, he was just a hard-working man here to assist the kobold chef, but under the Centurion's sharp gaze, the fa?ade melted away, and it was clear something powerful lurked below the surface. Gaius had to push his Inspection, Analyze Threats, and Find Weakness skills to the max to see through the man's protections. Even then, he wasn't seeing everything. Inspection showed that he had several titles, the active one being The Butcher of Sedgewick. He couldn't see the other titles, but earning titles didn't come easy. Analyze Threat gave him a neutral value. The man wasn't a threat to him and meant no harm, but he was still dangerous. Many trained soldiers felt this way to him. Find Weakness worried him. Gaius fought with physical weapons, and his ability told him this was a heavily armored opponent with elemental resistance. But he was only wearing a leather apron. He compared the Butcher to his armored soldiers, and it wasn't even close. This man would be a tough opponent.
As he pondered the problem, he noticed the emblem of the local rulers on the banner hanging from the wagon. Earning their approval didn't come easy. The last puzzle piece fell into place when he remembered where Sedgewick was. He stepped up to the wagon. "Sir, would you know people at Rowan Keep, specifically the Centurion in charge?"
The Butcher nodded and gave him a friendly smile. "Marcus? Yes, sir. I've talked with him many times. He's a good man and a good soldier. I work on the new keep several times a week, hauling building stones for the walls. He and his soldiers have come to my town's defense several times and we're happy to be helping with the construction."
Gaius nodded. He'd heard from Marcus about this man. The incident with the tomatoes had made him laugh for half a bell. Marcus had hopes of someday recruiting him. "Excellent. Would you mind if we rolled your wagon into the keep for the night? My lads would like to keep buying your goods, but we've been ordered to shut the gate. I can guarantee you'll sell all of your food tonight."
Ozzy looked over at Myrna, and the kobold agreed. "Soldiers like my hot food, more fun to cook, eat more." Ozzy reached down and shook the centurion's hand. "Sounds like a deal. We need to go slow; Myrna won't quit cooking, and bumping her when she's got peppers cooking would be bad."
That was how a Butcher and a kobold chef fed a Legion outpost and the Company of the Red Banner sausage long into the night. When the arm wrestling had started, Gaius had suggested the Butcher take part. Ozzy had looked at the other participants—several from the Red Banner he had seen in Sedgewick. One was a burly decurion from the Legion, along with some strong-looking soldiers, and four large men dressed as new recruits were also competing. The 'new recruits' were six inches taller than anyone other than Ozzy, with bulging muscles and weathered faces. Ozzy got the feeling someone was tossing some ringers into the contest. He was curious how he'd match up to them. "Sure. A little exercise would be good."
His first opponent was a trooper from the Red Banner. It wasn't really a contest. Ozzy had twice his strength but let the match go for a minute before pinning the man's arm to the table. Betting had been 2-1 against him, and he'd seen both Myrna and Gaius placing bets. By the smiles on their faces, they'd bet on him. But the next guy was tough. He was one of the 'new recruits,' dressed in a simple Legion uniform. They shook hands, both going for a bone crusher but neither getting a good grip on the other. Introducing himself, Ozzy learned his opponent was named Aranthes. He didn't know how strong the guy was, but the odds of Aranthes winning were 17 to 1 against the Butcher. Myrna didn't care. He saw her scoop a double handful of coins from her bucket and bet on him. The bet-takers from the Legion happily scooped up her coins and gave her a receipt.
His opponent was good-natured as they started pushing; then, when Ozzy's arm didn't move, he got serious and bore down hard. Twice, Ozzy could feel the pressure increasing against him as Aranthes triggered an ability, but the soldier still couldn't put the Butcher down. Ozzy pushed back, keeping the contest even and waiting for the powers to wear off. When they did, he didn't give his opponent a chance and slammed his arm to the table, shattering the wood. Myrna was jumping up and down on top of the wagon and ran to collect her winnings, walking back slowly to the wagon with a full bucket of coins.
Aranthes shook his hand, a little in disbelief that he'd lost. A line of men formed to shake Ozzy's hand, leaving him to wonder what that was about. Aranthes sat down next to Gus, and two others of the new recruits wrestled off. It wasn't even close. The older man, Darmon, put down his opponent in only a few seconds. Betting had been sparse, as if that outcome was a sure thing. Ozzy saw that he was up against Darmon in the next round. He cautioned Myrna, "Go easy on the betting. I barely beat the last guy, and my next round doesn't look good." She seemed disappointed but understood. "The smart kobold takes the dragon's gold but doesn't get greedy." She placed a small bet. The odds against Ozzy were 50 to 1.
Darmon had been tough. He'd smiled at Ozzy and shook hands politely. "You did well against Aranthes. I lost a chunk of gold on that fight. I'll see you get an invite if we do this again." Ozzy gave it his best when they started, but it felt like pushing against an entire mountain. He went all out and couldn't budge the older man. After a minute, Darmon pushed his arm to the table for the win. He patted Ozzy on the back, staggering the Butcher. He spoke, keeping his voice low. "You've got Little Benjy next, don't let him intimidate you, and be ready to go all out." Ozzy didn't know what 'all out' meant, but considering these were soldiers, he could guess. Combat abilities often came with bursts of strength.
He got himself a small snack from Myrna, waiting for his next match. He was surprised as hell when the grilled meat in a tortilla burned his tongue and throat. What the hell did she feed him? Fanning his mouth, he downed a flagon of ale before stepping to the table to wrestle his last opponent. The food formed a core of heat in his stomach and spread out to the rest of his body, making him sweat and drink again before he started his next bout.
Benjy was as tall as Ozzy and wider, with a heavier frame. He was packing a little fat and a lot of muscle. Ozzy rarely felt small, but he did compared to this man. Benjy had lost to Aldus, who was facing Darmon in the finals. Little Benjy had laughed as they sat down. "Finally, someone as big as me. I feel bad picking on the little fellers." He had bigger hands than Ozzy, his huge paw wrapping around Ozzy's hand. Someone yelled 'Go,' and the match started. Benjy went for the kill immediately, settling his bulk above his hand and pushing hard. At the same time, he tried to Intimidate Ozzy, glaring at him hard. Ozzy was ready for it. He'd spent 6000 stamina to gain all three levels of Push Onward, raising his STR to 63. He glared back and used his own Aura of Intimidation. Benjy almost beat him, but not quite. Ozzy slowly pushed their hands back to the halfway mark, and there they stayed for long minutes, neither able to gain an advantage. Ozzy slowly watched his stamina drop as they struggled, but even after triggering Push Onward, he still started the match with far more than a normal warrior, even one like Benjy, who had several levels on him.
As the match went longer and longer, Benjy began to sweat, and his arm trembled. He kept going as long as he could, but as his stamina dropped to zero, he lost all his strength. Ozzy slammed Benjy's arm to the table to a roar from the onlookers. Gaius helped Myrna collect her winnings. At 7-1 odds against Ozzy, she had bet her entire bucket of earnings. It took a few minutes for the bet-takers in the Legion to come up with all the money under the stern eye of Centurion Gaius. The little kobold danced for joy and walked away with buckets of coins.
Benjy was a good loser. He and Ozzy sat in front of the crowd to watch the match between Darmon and Aldus. It wasn't a long match; Darmon gave Aldus a minute of struggling and then slammed his arm down. There had been little betting this round. The odds on Darmon were too high. Benjy was massaging his arm and eating a plate of sausages to regain stamina. "Damn, what ability gives you so much stamina? I can barely think; I'm so tired." Ozzy smiled. "We work long hours in the north; it builds stamina. A short day is twelve hours of butchering."
Benjy thought about that. "I might have to visit then; I've put on some weight since I took my last promotion. It would be good to work it off."
Ozzy had an idea of what that promotion was. "Yeah, I hear you. A day standing around in court watching the Baron doesn't exactly tire me out."
"Isn't that the truth? And court can go long. But it's an honor to serve."
Myrna was back to cooking and yelling for him. "Fat Fingers! Get lazy arms over here. Myrna needs help."
Nothing looked wrong, but Ozzy could see the kobold was annoyed. Darmon and Aldus were standing on either side of Gus. Myrna pointed at the smaller man between the two burly soldiers. "This one says he wants something hot!"
Ozzy was perplexed. "So, give him what you gave me. Whatever that was, it damned near burned my tongue off."
The little kobold smiled. "Good! That was Myrna's 'Double Burn Burrito.' But this one tried it and now wants hotter!
Is no hotter, must make hotter! You fix!"
She handed Ozzy a basket with some long white peppers. A bit of wind blew the aroma over to the waiting soldiers, and the closest saw their skin start to blister. Everyone but Ozzy, Darmon, and Gus backed away. Aldus tried to stay, but Darmon pushed him backward and yelled at everyone else. "Fifty feet back, that's an order!"
"Dammit, Myrna. This might blow up." He picked up one of the peppers by the stem and carefully infused it with Heat. A slight glow appeared around the pepper.
"Small price to pay to make a new recipe. More heat. Glow yellow, keep going. Glow orange is good. Glow red, throw far away."
Ozzy infused each of the seven peppers for her, putting them on her grill one by one. The line dividing what Myrna considered a good pepper and a 'throw far away pepper' was very narrow. The last pepper was slightly smaller, and he overdid it. The pepper turned red and started pulsing. Ozzy ran to an emptier part of the fort and swung the basket in full arcs, hoping to cool the pepper down. When that didn't work, he let it go and tossed it two-hundred feet into the air. The overcharged pepper went off like a bomb with a bright red flash and white streamers. The soldiers applauded at the fireworks display. With watering eyes, he returned to the wagon and poured a stein of beer over his head.
Myrna was cooking something with spicy meat, peppers, and pickled vegetables. She wrapped it all up into three burritos. Gus went to grab one, but Darmon held him back. "Me first, just in case." He took a bite, started to smile, and then his face turned red, and sweat poured down his neck. He exhaled a long breath and nodded. Gus grabbed one and took a bite, smiling. There was a slight flush to his cheeks. "This is outstanding, Miss Myrna; you have my thanks." Myrna blushed and stammered.
Gus handed the other burrito to Ozzy. "Come sit and talk with me. You are from Sedgewick, yes?" The three of them sat at a table. Ozzy noticed that everyone else gave them room, with Aldus, Benjy, and Aranthes forming a rough circle around the table. Gus finished his own burrito, then came to Darmon's rescue by taking the rest of his. The large man looked eternally thankful. Ozzy was three bites into his and going slow. He only managed to eat it by infusing the food with Smoke first and absorbing some of the Heat. Whatever Myrna had turned the peppers into had weaponized them.
"Tell me about your town. What do you think of Baron William and Baroness Layla? Are they good people?" As Gus spoke, Ozzy felt himself wanting to answer the question in great detail and truthfully. As far as Ozzy could tell, the man wasn't doing anything, but he had a powerful aura. But as soon as he felt it, something washed it away. This was a powerful man, but he was still just a man. Part of Ozzy recognized that, and the difference between even the Emperor, for that was who this had to be, and an entity like Hades or Artemis was large. Still, it was always polite to give an honest answer.
"No, I can't say either is a good person. Not yet. But they are getting better. Being Baron and Baroness is good for them. Really making them work hard and try to get the most out of people. I do what I can to push them in the right direction, along with a few of my friends."
"And they make a good pair. Billy's turning into a damned fine Baron, and Layla is only a step behind. She has his back, even if she has a dagger pointed at his spine to encourage him. They are protective of their people and work hard to make things better. Gadobhra is a dungeon-infested hellhole, but they have dreams of turning it into a grand city."
Gus absorbed that information as he chewed. "And the people? I know some of you work for him under contract, but the others? The farmers and people who live around the city? What do they think?"
That was an easier question for Ozzy. "Well, 600 farmers who were starving in Northguard, and forced off of their lands, are now loyal citizens of the Barony. They think quite highly of the Baron and the Mayor. They have houses, good farmlands, and security. Plus, the Baron encourages them to grow stronger and improve their lives. He's going to profit from their work, but he's letting them keep a lot of it. Everyone is benefitting."
Again, Gus seemed thoughtful. "I've heard similar from my friend, Captain Bernice. She also told me some interesting stories about you. Did you go for a ride in a ship made of fire?"
Ozzy stood up and looked at Darmon. "Do you mind a bit of theatrics?" Darmon nodded. "Go ahead; it's been a day for it."
Ozzy concentrated and then blew out an enormous cloud of hot smoke that filled the air above the camp. It formed into a replica of a sailing ship, ten feet long with fluffy white sails. He breathed out more smoke, and a whale and two sharks joined it. Finally, he breathed out a jet of fire and sent them all sailing up into the sky, the ship's sails glowing like fire.
"I sailed the seas of Smoke with Captain Woodrat on our ship, The Splinter. We fought against the terrors of the deep, renegade captains and a mad god. And had a lot of fun while doing it."
Gus watched the ship sail off into the sky. "Maybe you can take me there next time I need a vacation. What do you think about that, Captain Darmon?" The Captain of the Emperor's bodyguard shook his head. "Not a chance in hell. Keeping you alive is tough enough now."
The Emperor whispered to Ozzy. "We just won't let them know we're leaving." Louder, he said. "Then draw me another of those dark beers to quench the fire in my belly, and we will let our new friends, Ozzy and Myrna, tell us some stories of the far North and the terrible Butcher of Gadobhra who broods in his dungeon."
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