Chapter 260: Homecoming
An hour of hard work by two strong men filled the hungry chains of the charnel pit with the carcasses of slaughtered sedge beasts. Thick smoke filled the building that would have choked anyone addicted to breathing normal air. The charnel pit, frantic at first at Ozzy's return, began to calm down. With every breath, he left his mark on the building as his smoke coated the chains, turning them from a greenish silver to a dark black. He hauled down one of the fully smoked beasts, tore off a leg, and tossed it to Butterbelly. The firewalker sniffed it, took a small bite, and then a larger one. "Nice flavor to this. Heavy on the smoke, this meat was grass-fed with a hefty level of dark mana. It leaves a sweet taste on the tongue with just a touch of the bitterness you normally would get with that flavor of magic. For smoked meat without a rub or sauce, it's quite tasty."
"The Legion certainly thinks so. They buy up all the barrels of meat I can provide. We're way beyond what the contract was for. They ship the extra to other outposts. For the local guys, I try to add some different flavors. The local guys are pretty easygoing, and I like to do a bit extra for them." Ozzy spent a few minutes filling the pit with a mix of Holly, Rowan, and some Apple wood. It felt like a good mix to go with the 9-spice bear grease. It would burn down slowly through the night after he covered most of the pile with coals and ash. He needed hot smoke, not open fire. He could feel the fire and wood slowly turning to smoke and adjust how much air the fire was getting until he was happy with it.
He ran his hand along the bricks of the pit, feeling their warmth, and added some of his own heat to them. They hummed with appreciation as he brought them to a dull glow. "Good job. We'll get to work tomorrow. Lot's to do." The chains above him tinkled like wind chimes.
Butterbelly was curious. "You talk to it? Is it like a pet?"
Ozzy thought about his answer for a moment. "Just seemed right. The thing's alive now, or sentient at the very least. It's like a mistreated dog that's been adopted by a good owner. Eager to work with you and affectionate when it gets some attention, but ignore it, and it will get into trouble. There was a tense moment at first like it wasn't sure which of us was the boss. After we settled that, we got to work. The damned thing is pretty helpful. I can smoke a herd of cattle with it in a couple of days, and they taste like they were smoked a month. I hope I have the meat and wood to keep it going."
"Here, try some of the bacon. This was done with screaming coal. Great stuff when you need a nice fire and some tasty smoke." The firewalker grinned at the 1/2 pound chunk of smoked pork, put it into his mouth, and started chewing with his oversized teeth. Then his eyes rolled up in his head, and he moaned. "Oh, this is good, just like momma used to make. If you hadn't said pig, I'd have sworn this was wyvern or wyrm. Great meat on those critters, especially the big ones."
Butterbelly took another look at the smokehouse and hanging meat. "I can see why you were anxious to get home; this is a nice place to live. Thank you for letting me cook with you. And I was glad that this sauce bucket is ever-filling. Without that enchantment, I'd have never kept up with you. But I need some of this beer you talked about. Let's join friends at the tavern and see how much Woodrat has exaggerated his tales by now."
A roar greeted them as they entered the tavern. Both men had mugs of dark beer thrust into their hands. Butterbelly started emptying mugs as fast as they were handed to him, and eventually, someone got him a bucket with a handle on the side. The Butcher was required to authenticate Woodrat's lies about surfing on the back of a whale and then help the story about throwing a tornado at a giant squid. One thing was clear to the customers in the tavern: the crew had rehearsed their seaman's tales and spent time making the lies entertaining. A few workers simply nodded their heads while others laughed, unbelieving. If you had been in Sedgewick since the beginning, you would have seen a lot of weird things. Bob enjoyed every story and instructed Twitterberry and the hound to gather all the tales for him. If he hadn't been responsible for his realm, he might have signed on as a cabin boy then and there. His drinking partner, Billy, was quiet and thoughtful. It hadn't escaped him how many crew members were outfitted with magic weapons and gear, along with gemmed rings, necklaces, and cufflinks.
Suzette looked on, bemused, and poured the beer as fast as she could. The crew of the Splinter wasn't shy about drinking anything she put in front of them. Captain Woodrat had tossed her a small bag of golden shells and asked her to tell him if it ran out. The crew seemed determined to make it a very profitable night for the little tavern. She was happy to have Ozzy back and wouldn't begrudge him a night of drinking with friends who wanted to celebrate his return. For his part, Ozzy spent an hour greeting people and talking, but as soon as he could, he took Suzette by the arm, and they left the party for their rooms upstairs.
He stretched as they got to the fourth floor and started to relax as he looked around the room. "You wouldn't believe how much I missed this place. Do you know how long it's been since I slept in a bed? Not a hammock or hard deck? I'm looking forward to sleeping in tomorrow."
Suzette pointed him toward a large bathtub. "Sleep and other things can wait another few minutes. You also haven't had a bath in forever and smell like a forest fire. As glad as I am to see you, I need to reintroduce you to water first. Just strip and get in; I can handle the rest." She grabbed a jug off the shelf and poured water into the bathtub. It filled the large, claw-foot tub with lukewarm soapy water. "One of my acquisitions from the dungeon. Maynard's Bathing Vessel. It puts out enough soapy water daily to fill a small swimming pool. Let me know how hot you want the water. Betty taught me a cantrip for heating water for cleaning dishes. It works just fine for this as well." Ozzy could slowly feel the bath increasing in temperature.
"Make it as hot as you can; it won't hurt me. Close to boiling and it will take the ache out my muscles." He relaxed into the large claw-foot tub, his feet sticking out over the far edge. Suzette tossed him a scrub brush. The water went from sudsy to nearly black in a few minutes.
Suzette pulled the plug and let it drain. "Stay in, and I'll give you a refill. It will take more than one try to rinse all of that off of you."
Ozzy started to relax and then grew puzzled. "Where did the water go to? Did you install plumbing while I was gone?" Modern plumbing was something the village didn't have. There were hand pumps if a building had a well but no running water. Dishes were washed in large tubs, and the water was dumped out back of the tavern. Water closets used rainwater to flush toilets, and drains led to cisterns that held the accumulated night soil. Using the tub had been a pain before. The water had to be dumped out a window into a drain, a bucket at a time.
Suzette smiled. "One of my better ideas. The lab is right below us. Ben ran a pipe from the tub to the drain in the lab. Anything that goes into it goes away somewhere. It's great for dumping bad potions and poisons. It can handle a tub of dirty water with ease. Or, in your case, two or three tubs." The third tub did the trick, and Ozzy felt much better. Clad in just a towel, he sat at the small table and enjoyed the food Suzette had ready for him and the first of several beers.
"You have no idea how good this tastes. I really missed your beer. The ale they have in the smoke is ok, but not the same."
Suzette sat and looked at him. He'd changed again. His skin was darker, almost a red-bronze, and the hair of his mustache and short beard were a dark jet black. He had more definition to his muscles and moved easier. "You look like you moved on up to the third tier. You must have been busy. Rolly hit the third tier just after you left for your vacation, but he and his pet are insane. They fight up in Gadobhra, killing ghouls in Hungrytown or critters in the forest. He said Squirmy needed to advance, and he was doing it with her. I swear, sometimes I'm not sure who's the pet and who's the owner between those two. Ben and I are about to move up. I had some questions and was hoping you'd get back beforehand."
"But was the trip worth it? You were gone for a couple of months. Not knowing what the hell had happened made it worse."
Ozzy could tell that bothered her—a lot. "I think it was worth it. It certainly paid well. And I certainly didn't plan it that way. We were shipwrecked and trying to stay alive on a little raft. Then shit just kept happening. Two months? From my point of view, it seemed a lot longer, but nothing is the same in the Smoke. Woodrat and I had some terrifying adventures and caused a lot of trouble. But some of it was glorious. And I did get what I went for, maybe a lot more. Old Smoke was pretty generous when it came time to teach me some tricks. I have a nice set of spells now that combine mana and heat. Stuff other wizards may not have seen. We can take a walk tomorrow, and I can show you. No sense burning down the tavern by accident." He blew out some smoke and made a miniature shark that roamed around the room before diving into a candle. "I can make that little guy get a lot bigger and do some tricks with chains and fire." The way he said that made Suzette sure that they were more than just little tricks.
Suzette got up and examined the tattoos on his arms and shoulders. "I can't get over the fact that you got tattoos. You never used to like them. Chains, crossed-axes, and pirate chests. I'm surprised you don't have a big anchor or a can of spinach on one shoulder."
The Butcher smiled at her. "Watch this." The tattoo of a chest disappeared from his arm, and then a similar chest appeared on the floor. Ozzy snapped his fingers, the lid popped, and golden shells spilled out. Suzette saw a king's ransom in gold and jewelry in it. Her eyes got wide. Ozzy pulled out a long strand of pearls and a necklace of fire-imbued rubies. "I'd tell you to take your pick, but they're both for you. Generously donated by dastardly denizens of the smoke."
Lustrous Pearls of the Queen of Iskaria: The islands of Iskaria are known for their large, man-eating oysters. These pearls are often purchased at the cost of the divers' lives. This double strand of over 100 flawless pearls was worn by Queen Lemoria, whose ship was lost at sea to the attack of a Diluvian Kraken.
Suzette ran her hands along the rubies, but the pearls were what sang to her. "These are amazingly beautiful. Where is Iskaria? Did you go there?"
Ozzy shook his head. "A lot of sailing around, yet I never made it to an island. Maybe we could take a vacation someday? We could have Captain Woodrat take us for a ride in Splinter and visit the place. But right now, I want to grab you and crawl into bed." He snapped his fingers again, and all the candles in the room were snuffed.
Suzette laughed. "I agree. And I took the entire day off tomorrow. Let's stay in bed until noon."
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