Chapter 179: Makeovers and Menageries
"Your curse will have to be something special. Are you ready to receive it?"
"Nope, because I'm not wrong. Lucien's father, Emperor Marius, died when Lucien was 42 years old. Lucien's mother, Agatha, quickly married a much younger man, Duke Otto, who was actually a year younger than Lucien and had a daughter who was just coming into adulthood. Agatha and Otto had been having an affair for a dozen years. In a daring and poorly thought outt move, Duke Otto claimed the title of Emperor, and announced that he was adopting Lucien as his son."
"Lucien was having none of this. He refused to give up the imperial throne, and proved his mother and 'Father' had actually killed his real father. He then had them both beheaded and married Otto's daughter, Tiffany. Nothing he did was illegal and was well-received by the populace, and the nobles. No one really wanted Otto to be emperor."
"I've been reading a lot of imperial history lately. Fascinating stuff."
"But it's not a proper answer. Mine is better!"
"Nope. Because your riddle tries to lay the blame of the mother's death on her son, an obviously wrong thing to do since the babe had no control over the situation, or his conception. And the other two parts are just plays on words, it won't even work in another language. Try asking that riddle to an orc."
The Beast was obviously upset, its broken claws pawed the ground in anger. Finally, it controlled its breathing. "Fine. I'll agree with you, but only if I can use your answer while in the empire. It's a sordid tale that still fits the question. Shall I cure the stag? Or will you take a reward?
Greenberg spoke up. "No need. I like being a stag. And I learned a few druid spells in Tier 3. I can change back on my own." The stag shimmered and became an elven ranger in very worn Lincoln green.
Manwar was furious. "How long have you been able to do that? Why didn't you tell us?"
Greenberg returned to being a stag. "Oh, ages ago. But you'd have just been jealous. I couldn't do that to you, you were sulking enough as is. And I really do enjoy being a deer."
"Gold or a question, Hero?"
"A question, I think." He stepped forward until he was right in front of the beast. "Who has the most beautiful blue eyes in the city?"
"What?"
"You heard me. Who has the most beautiful blue eyes in the city? Eyes that sparkle like sapphires in a clear blue stream?"
The Beast seemed stunned. Rolly stepped forward and brushed aside the fur covering her face. "You shouldn't hide these eyes."
The Beast reared up and roared. "YOU DARE TO MOCK ME! I'm hideous. A filthy beast trapped guarding a lair filled with hundreds of years of garbage!"
Everyone else, being fairly intelligent, backed away into the forest. Rolly stood his ground defiantly. "You haven't answered my question. I played your game, and I won. You owe me an answer."
The monster roared, shaking the trees. "I have the most beautiful blue eyes that sparkle like sapphires in a clear blue stream. Now I have one last riddle for you Hero: How are you going to avoid a horrible death under my filthy claws and jagged teeth?"
Rolly bowed at the waist. "I'll make you beautiful again."
".................How?"
"I'm guessing you woke up that way? Right? You used to guard something, and I'd guess that was the gates to the Baron's Menagerie of Creatures. When the Great Druids put the city to sleep, things changed. The Menagerie became a dungeon and began breeding the little crossbreeds, the chimera. They emerged from the dungeon when it overflowed and made your lair their new home. The ones that went into the Beast Woods fell asleep or died in other ways, creating these piles of bones. I know you didn't kill them, the skeletons are mostly intact."
"Eventually the overflow just created creatures that lived in your cave, creating larger and larger piles of filth. You slept on, your hair and nails getting longer and longer. One day you awoke to this horror. No one could tell you what had happened. Even more confusing was how your lair wasn't even in the city anymore. The forest had pushed back the walls of the city, but left your underground lair and the Menagerie where they were. That's how players started finding you."
"Annoying things. Bad at riddles and they knew nothing of what had happened. I was happy when the city pushed back its boundaries. Of course, these three eventually found me again. As have you. Now explain, what magic will you do to restore my beauty?"
"Simple magics. My people aren't mighty mages, but we are good at cleaning things up."
The Great Beast looked at him. "You have until the sun sets on the next day. If you fail, nothing will stop my curses from finding you."
Ben put his arm around Rolly, and Ozzy did the same from the other side. "So, Rolly, old buddy, old pal: What fine mess have you gotten us into this time?" The way the Beast had looked at the entire group when it said it's curses would find them was ominous.
"Simple job. We just have twenty-four hours for a complete makeover of the monster and the lair. I think she's a sphynx, by the way."
Suzette was staring at the creature. "I can see it. Her mane is making her head look bigger and it grew back over her wings. She's like those sheep that never get sheared and pack around a decade worth of wool on their backs."
"Or in this case, a few hundred years of sphynx fur. I wonder if you can weave that into anything?" Ben couldn't begin to estimate how much the extra fur weighed. Some sheep produced 30 pounds in a year. That huge creature was a hundred times bigger. And a lot of years had passed.
"Adrianna will know. And she's great with a pair of shears and ribbons. We need her up here. Aliester as well, he may have a formula for a good shampoo." Suzette was ticking items off on her fingers. "Curry combs and horse grooming equipment. A dozen people with shovels and rakes to start clearing her lair, big tubs to heat water, a wagon with barrels of water. And soap, all the soap. Plus, mint, orange peel, cinnamon and other spices to boil in the lair to take away the smell."
"Ozzy and I will get to the job. I need to start working on her claws. Ozzy can use his cantrip and see if it cleans up her hair. The rest of you head for the village and bring back everyone else. Oh, and lanterns. Not everyone can see in the dark. "
Ozzy followed Rolly back to the huge creature. It took time to calm her down, she was highly skittish. Rolly found out part of the reason for that was she was famished. Unable to leave her lair, she hadn't eaten in weeks. Ozzy pulled out four large, smoked hams from his bag and promised her more as soon as he could.
Then he got to work using his Cleanse cantrip. Rolly explained carefully what the Butcher would be doing. Casting unknown spells around skittish monsters was a good way to die quickly. One spell seemed to do nothing, but casting the cantrip multiple times starting cleaning up an area of fur. A host of insects, parasites and even small rodents tumbled out of the fur as he kept casting the spell. Ozzy had nearly 3000 mana. The workers from Sedgewick returned long before he had drained his mana pool. Adrianna began rapidly combing out the hair he had cleansed, and clipping away large swathes of it.
The seamstress was in heaven. Sphynx hair? And of such length. She'd never even seen it before! When Ben had explained the job at hand, she had organized an entire crew of people to help her, bringing Granya, Betty, and anyone with any weaving skills. Now a half dozen people were combing out the Sphynx's long hair as Ozzy cleansed it. The process was going to take hours, removing it one layer at a time, and being careful of the creature’s wings buried beneath it.
Adrianna had no idea what the hair could be woven into. It was going to be a challenge just to find the best way to turn it into thread and then a fabric. Years of work that she couldn't wait to begin.
But that wasn't going to happen until they made this poor creature happy. The heavy hair around the Sphynx's face she pinned back so that she could speak more easily to her, and show her what she was doing. She remembered Rolly telling her that this creature posed riddles, and didn't like to answer questions. She had to be careful of that. "I'm sure you know best how your mane should be shaped. I can weave it with ribbons, which would look spectacular, I'm sure. I will show you an assortment to judge your preferences."
This began a game of showing selections of bows and ribbons to see if the Sphynx liked them. Indifference, and they went back in their boxes. A widening of the eyes and they went into the 'preferred pile'. Eventually, several shades of soft blues and pink were selected. The work continued
Adrianna saw two huge blue eyes judging her. "You will benefit from the weaving of my hair. I wish to have pretty ribbons woven into my hair for a years’ time. This is a fair trade." The seamstress agreed and the work of transforming a mass of fur into a stylish mane began.
"What are we doing with this stuff? It's all petrified animal dung and chimera corpses" Jon and Cham had volunteered to come help and had amassed a huge pile of crap. More was coming out of the lair every minute as workers moved it from the back to the entrance. They uncovered a huge cave system with carved murals, Grecian pillars, baths and running streams. Each area had to be cleaned and unclogged. Ben then hit the area with Flaming Hands and Ozzy would finish with Cleanse after his mana filled back up. Aliester was feeding him a steady diet of potions to help with that.
Ben looked at the growing pile. "I say we dig a long pit, dump the stuff in, and put the dirt back. We can landscape this whole area around her lair and this clearing with low hills that make it more private." Digging was easy for contract workers. The piles of crap disappeared under the forest where it could become fertilizer.
Eventually, the bottom of the lair was discovered. A long tunnel led to a wrought iron gate. The Sphynx grew restless as people approached it, and Rolly warned them all not to touch it. He handled cleanup on that part himself.
Rolly's biggest chore had been cutting back the long claws on each foot. He carefully alternated between trimming the nails, and healing the tender inner part of the claw. Slowly he trimmed each one and them filed them until they were smooth and came to deadly points. Aliester brought out a potion that bleached them to a pristine ivory color that greatly please the rapidly transforming creature.
The Sphynx was growing restless as Rolly started on her back feet. He began to tell a tall tale about the time he walked through Tartarus. The Sphynx quieted down, and hung on his every word, asking for repeated descriptions of some of the monsters and asked that the conversation with The Manticore be repeated several times. The people working nearby tried not to laugh at the story. The Sphynx was much calmer after that, conversing with Rolly and Squirmie even to point of discussing the Menagerie Ben looked thoughtful.
It was the work of an entire day by two dozen workers and half a dozen villagers to restore the Sphynx and her lair to their former glory. By far the creature was the hardest part. Ozzy had Cleansed her fur for hours with other people trimming and combing. Granya and Runt carefully plucked any broken or loose feathers from her wings. After the bulk of the hair was removed, they cleaned her fur by hand using soap and water. Adrianna made a last pass over it, clipping it close on the body and tail, but leaving the mane long.
She only trusted Rolly to work on her teeth at first. He flossed them with silver wire and scrubbed each one clean, but he was worried about some of them. "It looks to me like your teeth bother you. They grew while you slept." He could tell by her expression that this was true. "It would be a minor bit of pain to pull some of them out, and let them regrow. Especially the two huge fangs, and those cracked molars. I'll need my friend Ozzy to help." The Sphynx considered and then nodded. She'd been proud of her smile in ages past, now it was just a horrible maw filled with oversized teeth.
Ozzy found himself being convinced by Rolly that it was perfectly fine to crawl halfway into the monsters open mouth, grab hold of a loose tooth and wiggle it free. With Ben's help he finally convinced the Butcher. Two huge fangs and six cracked molars went into the Butcher's bag. Rolly and Ben's healing helped with healing the dental damage, but it would take some time to bring her smile back to normal. Being immortal, the Sphynx was ok with the wait.
Each step of the way the Sphynx was consulted with statements to either agree with or deny. When the job was finished, the Sphynx inspected herself using a pool of clear water. Once again, she saw the body of an immense, golden-furred lioness with magnificent eagle wings and the head of a beautiful woman. Her full mane of hair was bedecked with ribbons, bows, and shiny trinkets. A large blue bow was affixed to the end of her tail.
Then she reclined at the front of lair and called for Rolly. "I will not curse you today. Maybe tomorrow. You should visit to find out."
Rolly winked at her. "I'll be back with the Baron, and we'll talk."
That talk occurred the next day. Billy was found asleep on the lowest floor of the ACME building, wearing torn, blood-stained clothes with a bloody cleaver on the floor next to him.
Rolly didn't see a problem with that. "Everyone should get to do them at least once. Spread the fun around. But let’s get him cleaned up and over to talk to the Sphynx."
"I have coffee and a clean set of clothes. I was dreading dealing with him. He was out all night and half the morning." Layla had appeared with a steaming pot of coffee. Rolly managed to get Billy to drink most of it. The Baron however wanted only to go back to sleep.
Rolly shrugged and turned to Layla. "Would you like to come claim a dungeon and grab the building points?" Before she could answer, Billy stood up and reached for more coffee.
"You should have started with that!" Billy seemed fine after that and he and Layla followed Rolly and Squirmie down a well-trod path into the Beastwoods. Enough workers were still around finishing the landscaping that it was mostly safe.
Rolly bowed low to the Sphynx and gestured at Billy and Layla "Baron William and Baroness Layla, may I present to you her royal highness, Princess Sahkmet of Aethiopia. The princess has loyally guarded the gates of the Menagerie for several centuries."
The Sphynx looked at the two humans and spoke: "At the end, but never the least. The treasure you lose when you turn to look at another treasure beyond your reach."
Layla was puzzled. Billy was confident. "What is: The Bottom Line."
The Sphynx nodded her head in recognition of his correct answer. "You are correct, William, Baron of Gadobhra. Will you take gold, or an answer."
"Let's go with an answer. What will it take to give me control of the Menagerie?
"That is easily answered. Release me from my duties and the dungeon is yours. I will come and go as I please, or maybe sail away on the winds and never return. Give me my freedom."
Billy liked this deal. "I'm good with that. Let's open this place up."
All Praise to Baron William
Baron Willian of the House of ACME has shown his power as Baron of Gadobhra by freeing Princess Sahkmet of Aethiopia from her long imprisonment. For his noble gesture he is rewarded with control of the former Baronial Zoo, now known as the Tier 3 dungeon, The Menagerie.
The City of Gadobhra is awarded 2000 building points. The dungeon is now active and open for exploration by hearty adventurers seeking glory and riches.
In celebration of this event, all ACME Contract Workers may take a day off so that they may explore this beautiful and interesting dungeon.
Adventurers should ask about group rates at the Gift Shop. Be sure and pick up your riddle books there.
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