Chapter 144: Things heat up
As Ozzy pulled ham after ham out of his bag and piled them near the pit, Makken tried not to stare. By his estimate the large leather duffle bag could a hold at most a half dozen of the fifty-pound hog legs that were being taken from the bag. Ozzy made a pile of 20 of them, then stacked 10 massive pork bellies next to them. Makken hadn't had enough to drink for that to make sense at all and he smelled a good story about that bag.
For now, he wanted the story about the pigs! "Where the hell did you run into a herd of wild pigs this size? Be prepared to smoke the hell out of it. When they get that old, the meat gets pretty gamey. Still, that's one hell of a lot of ham and bacon."
Ozzy tied up his bag and casually set it down between his chair and Makken's. He reached for a shot glass with whatever hellish liquid the dwarf was drinking today, and threw a shot into the back of his throat. As usual it burned like all the fires in hell were eating their way down to his stomach. He endured it the best he could, with only one small tear leaking out of his eye, "Oh god, what was in that one?"
The dwarf laughed at him, "A little hot was it? I roasted some of my Dragonbelly Poppers and then distilled the oils out of them. Added that to some 190 proof grain alcohol with just a hint of cinnamon and cloves - then a secret ingredient your pal Joe gave me. Whatever it was, it added a nice kick to the bottle. You keep working at it, we'll get you in shape for some of the really hot stuff."
Ozzy took a few deep breaths as he got himself under control. Wisps of smoke leaked out of his mouth as he exhaled. Joe noticed and poured out a larger shot. He stirred it with his finger, forcing a huge amount of magic into the liquid, turning it dark grey. "You're starting to get it. Let's do one more before we start talking about that pile of meat. He handed the full glass to Ozzy. As Ozzy held it up, he could see the grey liquid swirling in the glass, small sparks flaring up. Before he could think about it, he drank it down.
He immediately felt the heat, and something more. It was like there was a spot in his gut where all the heat was going - pooling and condensing. Then it burst. Smoke expanded inside him, filling his lungs, pouring out of his ears and nose as he struggled not to cough. He held it for a few seconds and then it all rushed out. Hot smoke erupted from his mouth and a cloud sat in the air in front of him.
Joe's voice seemed like it was inside of him, "Good, we got a little smoke out of you. That's your smoke. Next you have to grab ahold of it. Think about that cloud, look at it, remember how it felt inside of you, then send it over to that stack of pig parts and force it into the meat."
Ozzy reached with some part of him, expending his mana as he did so, grabbing hold of the cloud and forcing it to do as he willed.
A small wisp of smoke slowly moved over to a pork belly and spread across the surface. The rest of the smoke dissipated. Ozzy felt out of breath and exhausted. He sat down in one of the chairs, drawing in huge breaths of air.
Joe looked at the little spot of smoke and nodded, "Well, it's a start."
Suzette walked with Titania back into the tavern, "All's good folks. Today's entertainment is over. How about we put the tables back where they belong, toss the broken ones to the woodpile, and Miss Titania here will buy a round for the house?"
Titania scowled at the room, "Why am I buying beer?"
Suzette turned to her, "The long answer has to do with making amends, social dynamics, beer making people forget traumatic experiences, and being a symbol for forgiveness and getting on with our lives."
"The short answer is because I said you would."
Titania nodded, "I like the short answer better. Easier to understand." She went to the bar, paid a slightly stunned Aliester for a round of beer and looked over at Zephyr, "You did good kid. Stood up to me longer than I thought possible, called for help, backed up your Dad, and held the fort until reinforcements arrived."
Zephyr scowled at first, then nodded at her, "Does that mean you aren't going to skin me for a purse or turn me into a newt?"
Titania smiled at her. A horrible sight with her huge, swollen red eye, "Not today at least. And not tomorrow if you'll be kind enough to bring me a clean cloth and some vinegar."
Doing as the witch asked, Zephyr returned from the kitchen with a bowl of strong-smelling vinegar and a clean, white cloth.
Titania horrified anyone within sight as she used a thumb to dig her large eye out of the socket and let it drop into the vinegar, "Damned thing was acting up and giving me feedback in that fight. Haven't cleaned it well in years. Let that be a lesson to you, dearie." She picked up the eye and vigorously rubbed it with the cloth, swished it around in the vinegar again, and then pushed the eye back into its socket. The vinegar had shrunk it down to normal size and the only difference in her eyes now was the color.
"Ok, Miss Tavern Keeper, I'm ready to go look at some rooms."
Suzette led her upstairs and showed her each room. The first two were nice, with large beds, wardrobes and wash basins. They'd be fine in any good inn. The third and fourth doors on the left side were actually a double room. Other than a small table with four stools, the space was taken up with narrow bunk beds. The room could sleep up to sixteen people, as long as they didn't mind the noise of snoring. Suzette had plans to rent beds cheap to adventurers who didn't need more than a place to nod off for a bit.
Johannes had the room at the end of the hall. Titania stared at it, "Damn, I got into a fight over this? I swear my temper gets me in trouble as much as my pride."
This left three more rooms on the right. Of these, one was dominated by a huge, four-post, canopy bed. The layered mattresses were soft enough for a princess. Pink satin hangings which enclosed the bed were tied back with white ribbons. A small hearth had a white enamel teapot sitting on a grate and nearby was a small white table with two chairs. A corner armoire and a large mirror completed the look. Ninety percent of the room was done in pink and white.
Titania tested the bed, "Wow, I'm tempted just by the mattress. But if anyone ever saw the colors, I'd never live it down. Let's look at the others."
The next room was more to her liking. A large hearth took up the entirety of one of the short walls. Rough fieldstone was mortared together to form the large fireplace and adjacent hearth. A cast iron hook held a huge kettle ready to be swung over the fire, and a cast iron teapot sat on the floor. The floor was of worn cedar planking which matched the walls. A simple bed held a thick mattress piled with furs. In the far corner, somewhat out of place, sat a comfortable chair next to a small bookcase and table. A lamp hung overhead and a small stool sat in the corner.
Titania sat in the chair, "This will do. Let's talk."
It had been a long journey for the Thunder Punks. What had started out as a long, boring wagon ride had become a series of strange events, mysteries, fights, and more boring journeys. Small villages with strange things going on needed someone to solve their problems. A farmer requested help protecting a magical goose from bandits. A group of lost princesses who required and escort from town to town as they looked for the 'Legendary Brew of Dragon Slaying'. They never found the beer in question, but the princesses were fun to party with and at least picked up the bar tab each night. Val was quite disappointed that she wasn't asked to join them as a member.
Several times they had to leave the caravan on side excursions thrust upon them by strange circumstances. Over and over again village elders would come looking for a band of brave warriors whom they heard worked cheaply. McTeeth pointed out to the council that a quest was a quest and while they weren't earning a ton of cash, they were certainly making a name for themselves. Rufus usually agreed with him and the two were often seen moving in the direction the guild was travelling.
But finally, they arrived in the last little town on the road to Gadobhra. By unanimous consent, they decided to set up a camp near the town and explore the area. Having a place to come home to which was not a haunted city appealed to many of the players. The town itself was a step above the rest of the small villages they passed through, and for once no group of village elders or a weeping widow was waiting for them with a quest.
They wandered through the cobblestone streets, staring up at the gothic architecture and tall, pointed roofs. Lots of people waved to them as they went by. The NPC's in this town were all fit and athletic looking. Lumberjacks were walking back to town with huge logs on their shoulders, and they saw two people simply pick up a loaded wagon and move it into a barn rather than have a horse pull it.
Strongarm was a bit put out. These casual feats of strength were far beyond him, and he had the highest STR in the guild at 12 points. Rufus joked with him, "Don't let it worry you, we'll find out it's a magic fountain, or they are all werewolves or something."
McTeeth did have some info, "This place started as a beginner area, but it got bigger quickly. The main boss of the area is an undead necromancer who changes into a wolf. It can be level 3 to level 10 and has a whole cycle of quests, so keep your ears open."
One of the Paladins added, "He can be a raid boss too. The last Paladin Guild had a lot of info on his last incursion. Nearly wiped out two score NPC Paladins and a dozen players. And there was a big fight at the end with hordes of wolves, magical storms, Imperial Couriers and an Inquisitor. The loot was amazing."
McTeeth was happy at least one person was paying attention, "Right, and we like loot. From my sources the other people to hit up for local quests are The Shepherd, The Barmaid, The Butcher, the old lady who makes cookies, and The Alchemist. There's a note about the NPCs in this town being a lot more lifelike, and to not get on their bad sides. Not that any of our guild would do that."
The group broke up with a round of laughter, most headed for the tavern or looked for a place to set up camp before they logged out. McTeeth strolled around the town wondering what shiny secrets might be hidden.
Rufus himself was in heaven. He loved seeing a well-built town, and they seemed to have a lot of craftsmen. He followed the sounds of metal being beaten and found the blacksmith. Rufus watched as he took the heated metal from the forge, held it up and inspected it. Then laying it down on the anvil, the piece was flattened, bent on the sharp edge of the anvil, and doubled over. Then back into the forge it went. The process had gone far faster than what Rufus could do himself. The smith turned to him, "What can I do for you, sir.?"
Rufus longingly gestured to the anvil, "Teach me how you can do that so fast. It takes me most of a day to flatten the metal and work it over correctly."
The man looked Rufus over, "A smith are you then?"
"Among other things. I've tried to commit to doing all the crafting skills. Of course, that means I never get good at one of them."
The smith held out a hand, "I'm Rory, apprentice to Jorges. He's away overseeing the work on the keep so I mind the shop. But as to not getting good at something, I think that's a matter of effort. A little effort into everything makes you a jack of all trades. But a ton of effort could make you master of all of them."
Rufus sighed, "If only I didn't have to sleep."
Rory laughed, "You'd be surprised how little I get. But if you're looking for some practice, maybe a few lessons, and a bit of extra coin - I could use a jack right now. I have some sword handles which need carving, leather bindings, and polishing. And there's always room for another hammer."
Looking at the well-run shop, Rufus was tempted. He had quite a bit of money put aside from his agreement with McTeeth. The little rogue hired out the guild for every job he could find and somehow kept half the fee for himself. A chunk of that found its way to Rufus. But money wasn't everything, "I think I'll take you up on that, but I need to find a place to stay first."
Rory shook his head, "Save your coin. You see that big, double pile of stone at the end of town? I live there with a lot of the craftsmen. Why don't you get started on those sword hilts, and if I like your work, I'll find you a room with the rest of us. It's a comfortable place and we have a bar downstairs with some good beer."
Rufus tossed his pack to the side and started carving a wooden hilt for one the six swords they would finish up today. It was a long, long day. Rory never seemed to tire. Long after dark the work was done, and Rory was happy with it. They wandered down to the bar beneath the little keep and started drinking beer and discussing techniques used by the Celts a couple of millennia ago to turn bog iron into steel.
"So, what are we talking about?" Suzette was curious. The small woman had gone from drunken berserker to quiet customer in no time at all. Now she looked just a bit embarrassed.
"This stays between you and I, and if you weren't a fellow witch, I'd not be making this offer. I'm just a wee bit short of cash right now, but I do have something I can offer you - just for the first month's tab, mind you. I'll be paying after that. You have to promise that you won't sell or gift the item except to another witch."
Suzette was curious now, and let the 'witch' comment sit for later, "I barter from time to time. What do you have?"
Titania opened one bag and took out a package wrapped in cloth. Inside was a taxidermized Raven. It's glass eyes seemed quite real and the work was perfect, "There you go. One of the finest thief catchers I've ever made. Algernon there will protect a building even as large as this inn, basement included."
Suzette wondered if it included the dungeons, but didn't feel like passing on that info just yet."Well, I'm curious, but what does your bird actually do?" Suzette didn't mind something like this sitting on the hearth, but wasn't giving away a month’s rent for something that 'brought luck'.
"Oh, he's the real thing. Pat him on the head, and tell him to guard, and he'll warn you of threats to your tavern, especially of the roguish kind." Titania nodded at her, "Go ahead, give him a pat."
Suzette did so, and the raven surprised them both by blurting out, "THIEF! McTeeth is in the house, on the fourth floor, and looking for your gold!"
Raven under one arm, Suzette started out the door, "It's a deal, and if you help me catch the thief, I'll throw in free food and beer the first week."
Titania raced up the stairs after her, "Ooh, I'd have done it for free. I love the look when I take off their hands. But beer is always a bonus."
"Not that I mind you sitting around helping Joe burn out my insides, but I'm kind of curious about your plans. You seem to be putting down roots." Ozzy had asked Makken before about his extended stay, but the dwarf had been cagey. At first, he just said he was delivering the peppers they had agreed upon. Later he talked about dwarven vacations and how he was just trading some recipes with Joe. All of that might be true, but he was also taking long walks around town and surveying the area, taking notes in a large journal.
"Okay, okay, I put you off enough. The truth of it is, I'm looking for a new place to put down some roots and do some pepper farming. This place seems as good as any. There's some nice land between the town and the forest that's sort of flat. And the ground seems to have a powerful amount of magic in it. Good pepper soil."
Ozzy pressed on, "That was a nice set up you had though. What's wrong with it?"
Makken leaned back and thought for a second, "I suppose it's somewhat your fault, and somewhat mine."
"My fault? What did I do?" Ozzy was puzzled now.
"Well, other than grind a horseradish elemental to bits and send it downstream, not much. That was the start of it. You ground that sucker into a million pieces, and they started growing into a million little monsters that kept heading back to my area. At first, they couldn't get past the ring of peppers around the house. But then one thing led to another, and they cross-bred with some of the hot ones. I'd hear them rubbing leaves together all night long. Disturbing it was."
"A couple of days later the cross-breeds were running around - part horseradish, part pepper, and all bad attitude. They spit fire and acid at me every chance they got and I was running out of protective gear. That was when I decided to pack up and leave. I opened up a big can of "Instant Frost" that my cousin had left lying around, and got the hell out of there while they were frozen - just in time, too. That was when the wyverns showed up."
"Wyverns?"
"Yep, big dragon sort of beasties. Or is that little dragon sort of beastie? Dragons a mighty big, these are smaller, but bigger than you. About the size of a horse. Plus wings and more teeth. Anyway, they have a taste for hot things. They can be the bane of a pepper field. A flock of wyverns can stip acres a day.
There must have been a bunch of them down in the swamp, and when the bits of ROOT! got washed down and started growing, the wyverns started eating them and looking for more. They followed the radish up stream, found the pepper fields, and the cross-breeds, and suddenly they were all over. I left while I could."
Ozzy sat a bit and absorbed the story, "So now you need land here in Sedgewick? I guess I can help with that seeing as it's partly my fault. Let's go talk to Suzette and let me get some things out of my bag. We'll see what kind of fields we can get for you."
Makken took out a bottle of whiskey and took a sip, before passing it ot Ozzy. Unlike his usualy concoctions this vintage was smooth with a slightly woody flavor. "I appreciate that. Me, or someone from my family will reclaim the other farm someday when the wyverns have moved on, but I was due for a change anyway. This looks like an interesting spot to settle down for a couple of decades."
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