Chapter 119: The Tax man comes calling
As Billy and Layla started down the stairs to the first floor, they heard the murmur of voices and plates. What they expect to see was a tavern full of lazy contract workers sitting around eating groat muffins or slowly drinking a beer. What greeted them instead was a tavern full of people that they hadn't seen before, Suzette busily pouring beer and serving plates loaded with eggs, ham, and toast, and Ozzy sitting at the door with his 'bouncer' look on his face.
The noise picked up as the new Baron and Baroness walked into the room. Several people stood hurriedly, a few bowed, and all of them were pulling out parchments and yelling out his name to get his attention. Billy prided himself on being able to handle a crowd, but this was too much for him. Suzette saw him coming into the room and called out in a slightly louder-than-normal voice, "Oh dear, I'm so sorry, Baron, I wasn't aware you were ready to break your fast. Let's seat you in the upstairs dining room and I'll serve you there." So saying, she spun Billy around and started pushing him back up the stairs.
The door shut, then reopened as Suzette stuck her head out. "Ozzy? Be a dear and bring the Baron's breakfast up to the third-floor dining area. I'm sure Betty has it all ready." Ozzy took a slow look at the room as if to say "And none of you will even think about heading upstairs." A cloth salesman turned white and a couple of others made sign to their gods, but no one approached the doorway. Ozzy wondered when they had added a third-floor dining area.
Going to the third floor, Suzette started checking rooms. The fourth-floor loft where she and Ozzy slept was mostly the same, if a lot bigger, but before it had been the 3rd floor. The second floor had been 5 small rooms that neither she nor the inn's prior owner had ever used for much but storage. Now the second-floor had eight guestrooms, ranging from extremely nice to austere.
Suzette just needed a room to stick Billy and his breakfast so she could brief him on what was happening downstairs.
First door on the left on the third floor opened onto a...library? A big room with empty shelves at least. It had its own hearth, with polished oak flooring and wall paneling. Fully two-thirds of the room was taken up by built in shelving that lacked anything in them. It could possibly be a huge bedroom? Thoughts for later.
The next was similar in size, minus the shelves. Its hearth shared a chimney with the library. The floor though, was amazing. Tiny pieces of hardwood of various colors made up a pattern that drew the eyes in. She realized she'd been staring for over a minute and hastily averted her eyes and moved on. Deal with today’s crisis today, and tomorrow’s mystery tomorrow.
The Last room on the left held nothing except for long, stone-topped tables along two walls, and a large table in the middle. The ceiling had a number of vents in it. The walls were white plaster and someone had written all over them. The scribbles showed through the next coat of white paint. The floor was stone, and sloped slightly to a drain in one end. It reminded Suzette of a chemistry lab. Maybe an alchemy lab? Far different from the chaotic tangle of tubes, burners and glasswork that Aliester used.
The three doors on the right turned out to all open into one large room. A table that could seat twenty people in its high-backed chairs dominated the one end. Perfect. "In here Billy. Sorry, I got mixed up. Here's the dining room."
Billy looked at the room. "Layla, make a note, I want one. No, make that two. One on the 3rd floor for business, one on the top floor for us."
He turned to the barmaid. "But now that you have us here in your new dining room, what the hell is going on Suzette?"
Suzette was exploring, poking into drawers and cupboards, finding a huge assortment of old, but serviceable wooden platters, plates and utensils. She didn't have a clue what Betty put in the muffins she made for the little builders, but she really had to get the recipe. "Those are all people who have goods to deliver, services to sell, or who need 'just a moment' with you. I figured it was bad business to have you get ambushed by them before you're ready."
"Yeah, that was good thinking. I'll talk to them one at a time and work the deals. How much money do we have in the account Layla? The magic items from the dungeon were selling fast in ACME's shop in the city, last I looked."
Layla stared at screens only she could see, and then cursed. "That old, conniving, asshole! Vern cleaned it all out. Worse, while there are still a few items, he has us locked out of the shop's system. We can put things in for sale, but we'll never see the money. Damn him."
"Well, that's not good. How much do we have on hand here?" Billy was getting a sinking feeling. Vern had been pissed about the war, and losing the Momco. money. He was probably jealous as hell that Billy scored the huge city. Billy had heard things weren’t going too good for Vern in the south. Something about invading armies or orcs and saurians.
Layla laughed bitterly. "Here? Nothing, you spent it all to win the war. Then we put the winnings in the bank, sent the magic items to the shop, and with godly courtrooms, exploding angels, and Gadobhra coming alive we haven't made anything since. If we can deliver to the Legion, we can get paid. But we need the crops we grow to feed those new workers. And we need that food you sent Ben out to order."
Billy suddenly remembered things. "Oh shit! You’re right. They arrive tomorrow. That horde downstairs makes sense suddenly."
Suzette leaned against the wall and smiled. "You gave Ben an order, and ok'd his plans. He's nothing if not efficient."
Ozzy opened the door with an elbow, his arms full of food. Suzette hurried to help him before he dropped anything. Billy and Layla got their Baronial breakfast served, which was the same all the workers had gotten, with the exception of a small jar of strawberry jam.
Layla spread some on a muffin and bit in. "Good jam, where is it from?"
"That would be a merchant name Falstaff, he deals in finer foodstuffs like jams, preserves, wine, and aged cheese. He wants to sell you all of that. The jam is a small gift. He also sells flour, which is what Ben bought from him. Six barrels per wagon, and three wagons. We need it badly." Suzette pulled a list from her pocket.
“Altogether, you have eleven merchants waiting for you. Seven you owe money to. Four want to sell you things you need. There are some other people waiting to talk to you who just arrived. Legion officers maybe."
Billy smiled, there was hope. "Good, I'll go talk to the Legion first. See about getting an advance. Ozzy, I need you to organize a crew and get at least two shipments of smoked meats ready for the Legion ASAP. Do what it takes to get those shipments going. I'll beat an advance out of them and use it to pay the merchants."
"Suzette, use the time, while I’m dealing with the Legion. See if you can't work some deals with the merchants for some delays, even a week or too would help." Layla was frowning as he said that.
"Billy, you gave Ben authority to buy things. Are you actually giving Suzette authority to make deals? I don't like fuzzy areas and undefined job descriptions." Actually, Layla loved that sort of thing when it applied to herself. Lots of wiggle room to do as she liked and get out of trouble if it went bad. She hated giving it to underlings.
Billy scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, but I need some distance between me and the creditors, and they all seem to like her, and might underestimate her. But, you're right. Suzette, you can make deals with the merchants as long as it lowers or delays the amount of money I have to pay out. And don't let them hit you for interest. We either pay later, or we pay less, or both. Can you do some of that?"
Suzette grinned like a wolf about to go wandering in a hen house. "With a lot of those guys? Sure. It will be fun. Half of them already told me how smart they are and how they are going to cheat you. I can work with that."
"Great. Does this place have a back door?" Suzette showed Billy where the back stairs from second floor to kitchen was. He and Layla went out the back, and spied the party of official looking Imperial bureaucrats standing with Centurion Marcus. The two of them walked to meet them.
It had been an interesting day so far for Procurator Smythe. The Inn had been satisfactory, even if the Innkeeper was odd. The man barely seemed to know where anything in his Inn was, and even looking into a room could surprise him. But eventually they were all settle and gained a few hours of sleep. Ebony and Sanguine took watches of course, even inside the inn. Tax collectors were not always thought of highly, and more than one had disappeared in strange ways. Smythe rose early to find his crew ready to go, although Huck looked like he hadn't slept all night. Maybe he hadn't? The man had an uncanny ability to sniff things out, and an obsession with following the scent of a mystery. He'd been invaluable to Smythe over the years.
"Something bothering you Huck?" This was a tricky question. Something was always bothering Huck. You had to be prepared to sort through his answer to this simple question.
"A lot of things are bothering me, Procurator. I couldn't sleep and went wondering a bit. Found some stuff." Huck seemed nervous, almost hesitant to reply.
"What did you find Huck? We have time. Give me a full report."
Huck straightened up. "First item: I followed the scent of charred meat to a Charnel Pit. Fully operational, Tier 2. Smoke Golem guarding it so I didn't get too close. Especially after he waved at me. Friendly and Smoke Golem don't go together. Stockyards nearby. Foul smelling beasts. The locals call them sedge beasts. Confirmed that this village has a butcher. Like his pit, he is also supposedly tier 2."
"Supposedly?"
"Item 2: The butcher. He went for an early morning stroll. I was able to get close to him. Seemed simple minded at first. But he smells...wrong. WAY too strong a smell for tier 2. Smoke and Fire, Iron and Steel, Corruption and Radiance, Death and Taxes."
"Back up a bit Huck. What do you mean by Death and Taxes?" Smythe was getting more and more intrigued. No wonder Huck was worked up."
"Just what I said, Death and Taxes. He has a lot of death smell to him, but then something else. Death and Taxes combine! Like when we're in HIS temple. Like one of the priests of HIM! So, I followed him. He talked to an old woman in a house by the river. She smelled of fish, and death, and cookies. Old people smell like death a lot though. Then the butcher left and went to a meadow full of rabbits. He just kicked a bunch to death and hauled them off. That meadow is a bad place. Don't go there under a full moon! It's a battlefield where thousands and thousands have died."
“He butchered the rabbit and a pig, made nice little cuts of meat out of them, and took them back to the old woman.”
"Item 3: Multiple divine traces. Raven shit and pirate piss. Law and Justice. And more, over two dozen little odd smells that say divine beings were here in the last couple of months."
"Item 4: Dark Mana. Too much of it. It's flowing out of the city. Bad news, confusing scents. "
"Item 5: The strange scent. Never smelled it before. Life and Rot. Change and Hunger. Elusive. Like it was moving through the air, never landing and leaving a trace. Mysterious. Request permission to investigate."
Procurator Smythe leaned back and considered. Some of this he could logically surmise. Dark mana was expected. He'd been given some hints about the divine occurrences. And odd things happened in many little villages. That was just the pattern for life. Still...
"Permission granted. But limited to the mystery scent and the butcher. Keep focused Huck." Smythe rose and looked at his crew. "Sanguine? Go find the Centurion, we will meet at the fountain and then go talk to the Baron. I'm sure he'll be happy to meet us."
He did his best not to show it, but Billy was impressed with the little group. Some sort of Imperial employee, with two bodyguards in red or black armor that was to die for. Another thing to put on the list: Baronial Guard. The man had a gaggle of people near him, two clerks, a larger man carrying a stack of books, and a strange little man with a big nose who was constantly sniffing the air. And accompanying them was Centurion Marcus.
Billy was starting to get hints as to the proper etiquette for the situation, but this wasn't a throne room. "Marcus good to see you! How are the boys liking that last shipment? Ozzy has really been improving his recipes lately." He shook hands with the Centurion who replied. "The taste is much improved. You have the thanks of the Legion for that. We'll talk a bit about Legion business later."
"For now, my role is to introduce you to these men from the Imperial Bureau of Taxation and Collections. This is procurator Smythe, his assistants Sanguine and Ebony, investigator Huck, scribes Taylor and Jessee, and Record Carrier Zigman."
Smythe inclined his head briefly in a bow. "Apologies for taking up your time, your excellency, but with the great changes to this area you now rule come changes in accounting."
At the first mention of 'taxation' Billy lost his smile. ACME didn't like to pay taxes, ever. But he didn't have ACME's staff of lawyers and accountants. Plus, he barely knew the rules here. Best to see what they wanted and then put off paying things until he could avoid them altogether. "Cut to the bottom line please, I'm a busy man. You want to raise my taxes. Let's hear what your starting at."
Smythe normally liked a lot longer intro, and a lot more groveling from local nobles before they got down to numbers.
"Very well. The first item concerns this village. As a Tier 1 Village the taxes were negligible and I'm willing to forgive the past few years when an Imperial functionary didn't stop by to collect. As a Tier 2 Village, Sedgewick is responsible for 100 gold in taxes per year. Payable in advance."
Billy nodded. He'd expected something like that. Wasn’t a long-term problem. He'd roll it into some rents or something or make the tavern pay it. "Go on."
"Gadobhra now being open, it too is subject to taxes. The annual amount for the first year is far less than normal, seeing that the city needs improvements. You tax for this year is a reasonable amount of 10,000 gold. Payable immediately"
Billy's stomach knotted up, but this wasn't his first negotiation. "Seems a bit steep for a pile of rubble. That it?"
Smythe took the next sheet. "Not at all, we're just getting started. Next up is the cost to upgrade Rowan Keep. Local nobility are expected to pay part of the upkeep of the Legion. Gadobhra represents an ancient threat, or possibly a valuable imperial asset. In either case we need a larger keep and more Legionnaires. Cost this year will be 10,000 gold, going down each year for the next five years"
"The next item is roadwork. Roads are the lifeline of the Empire. The road behind you being a fine example of Legion work. Yes, Marcus? "
The Centurion had cleared his throat at the mention of roads. "The roadway you see leading to the city is actually the work of Baron William's workers. The Legion actually wishes to hire their engineer for similar projects."
Smythe crossed that item off the list, annoyed.
"Very well, no road tax. That leaves the tax on dungeons. Sedgewick has a Tier 1 and Tier 2 dungeon. The tax is 100 gold and 400 gold, respectively. Alternately we will take the cost in magic items at twice that rate, value determined by the empire. Gadobhra is a bit of a mystery at this point but we know of at least one Tier 2 and one Tier 3 dungeon. Taxes are 1300 gold for the two of them. Further dungeons found will be taxed as we go."
"This brings your total to 21, 900 gold."
Billy pondered for a moment. "I see. And just theoretically speaking, what happens if I don't pay?"
Smythe smiled at him, eyes growing excited. "Then the fun begins. I get to file a non-payment of taxes form. Then hound you daily for a week, followed by a request to the emperor to declare you a rogue Baron in defiance of his will. Sometime later we send one of our best generals with an army to put down your rebellion, seize your lands, and find someone else to run things. Exciting times."
Billy rolled his eyes. "Oh, you have no idea how exciting it gets here in Sedgewick. A minor invasion is just a slow Tuesday. But why don't we take a break, I'll consult with my staff and get back to you this afternoon? I’m sure we can work something out."
Billy needed time. He'd buy himself 2 hours and them push for more. He hurried off with Layla. He needed to put in a request to the board for additional funds.
No one really paid attention to the workers going back and forth doing their jobs. Suzette knew everything that was said at the meeting within five minutes.
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