279 Move forward
"Thanks. It's... hard. I'm just having a hard time getting back to normal," she explained. Lily had always been her big sister figure, giving her advice and guidance. She could really use some of that now from someone who knew her well.
"Your normal is going to be different now. It doesn't mean that it's always bad, though," Lily replied before gesturing for Melina to sit down on the bed with her.
She took Melina's hands in hers, giving them a squeeze. "What matters are the people you love, your own wellbeing, and the goals that you want to achieve."
Melina sighed and nodded. Like usual, Lily had a good point. It was just hard to take words and thoughts and make them into actions. She could think about what she wanted and needed to do all day, but actually doing them was a whole other story.
"Graduation is soon. Exams are coming up," Melina said quietly. "I can't find it in me to study or do much of anything. I feel... paralyzed."
"You need to stop bottling everything up. Too much emotion will do that to you," Lily said.
Melina shook her head, believing that she had been showing plenty of emotion lately.
"I haven't been bottling it up. I've cried every single day since... what happened," Melina replied.
"I'm not talking about crying. There are other emotions that you feel besides sadness. Maybe anger or hate?" Lily suggested.
Melina looked down at her lap. She had been struggling with anger lately. She hated Alaric. She hated what he did to her. So much negativity surrounded the thought of him, eating her alive. She didn't know how to process anger because she rarely ever felt it.
"Of course, Alaric killed Benjamin. I want to rip him to shreds," Melina muttered bitterly.
"Well, you can't do that now, but you can go out into the forest or out on the hills and scream your lungs out," Lily replied.
Melina laughed in a wry manner, thinking that Lily was just playing with her. When Lily's serious expression hadn't wavered at all, Melina raised an eyebrow at her.
"Wait. You're serious?" she asked.
Lily smiled and nodded.
"It's helped me a lot. It just helps you release those emotions. They'll be back, but at least your head will be clearer so that you can focus on other things," Lily replied. "You should at least try it once."
Melina thought on it for a second. She felt silly even thinking about going into the forest and screaming randomly, but it also seemed kind of satisfying. If Lily believed that it could help her, then she was going to try it. She trusted Lily, who had never let her down before.
"Okay, I'll do it," she said with a nod.
Lily smiled joyfully and squeezed Melina's hands.
"Talking about it helps too. Why don't you tell me everything?" she asked.
Melina breathed in deeply and nodded before launching into a recap of this semester. It had been the craziest semester of them all.
She had learned a lot, experienced a lot, felt a lot. It was... a lot. She was ready to graduate and move on, though. She had plans to put into place and a demon to hide from.
"That has been my semester," she finished.
Lily peered at her with wide eyes.
"That's... wow. It's been quite a journey for you," she murmured. She then reached out and brushed her fingers through Melina's hair in a caring manner. "You're stronger than you think."
Melina hoped that Lily was right. She had heard that saying multiple times, but she wasn't sure if she fully believed it.
She still felt like a regular, old witch. It was strange to think that she was a threat to a powerful demon that wanted to take over the world.
"Yeah, that's one way to put it," she laughed in a wry manner. "I'm just ready to graduate and travel around with Tyler."
"I think that will be good for you. Traveling did me wonders. I saw the world and met so many people. Integrating yourself in the world around you will do nothing but help you," Lily assured her.
Melina smiled at her, feeling comforted and ready for the future. She had to do a lot of work to get there, which she still wasn't ready for, but she was going to figure out a way to get her mind back on track where it belonged.
"Thank you for coming here. I feel a lot better," she told her. It was nice having an old friend give her some wisdom, and it meant a huge deal to her that Tyler knew her enough to get Lily here to help her. She really wanted to tell him that she loved him now because she meant the words with every fiber of her being.
"I'm around whenever you need me," Lily assured her best friend, giving her hands a squeeze.
They talked for another hour until Lily had to go to the airport to catch a flight. Her journey never stopped, and there wasn't an end in sight any time soon.
It was heartbreaking having to let Lily go, but Melina knew that she could reach her if she really needed to. This wasn't a permanent goodbye. She was determined to not say any more permanent goodbyes.
Before Melina called Tyler back to his room, she had to do one thing first. She walked off of school grounds and into the forest, walking for a few moments before stopping on the path. She looked around, making sure that no one was around to see her do this.
After drawing in a deep breath, she let out a splitting scream, her throat aching slightly from the exertion. She caught her breath, adrenaline pumping through her as anger burned right underneath the surface.
She thought about every terrible thing that happened and screamed her pain and anger into the trees.
To her surprise, she actually started to feel lighter. She stopped caring about being caught and started caring more about how loud she could be, reaching higher and higher volumes after each one.
When her throat ached too much for another, she breathed in deeply through her nose, closing her eyes and tilting her head up toward the sky.
Admittedly, she felt a lot better now. It was like a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, allowing her to breathe and think more easily. The path ahead was still long and hard, but it seemed clearer now. If she wanted to avoid more pain, she had to move forward, and that was exactly what she was going to do.
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