Chapter 945 Do I Deserve Happiness?
"So, the Supreme Devil Organizations have fully retreated from this area." Noel furrowed his eyebrows while looking at the map next to the fire.
Layla, Aurelia, and Grandell accompanied him as they had to discuss their next destination.
"Looking at the situation, yes. Why don't we end the expedition here?" Layla asked.
"That's possible, but I have to make sure about it first. Besides, there are times where I have to check every single village in order to utilize them in the future." Noel rejected the idea of going home even though they had done enough.
"I have gone to a lot of cities and villages. From my perspective, building a village isn't that hard. In fact, you can just give the villagers the tools and food. They should be able to create some buildings for their own survival."
"Yeah. But that's only going to give them a normal village. I have some other uses, so we have to check them."
It seemed that Noel didn't plan to tell Layla about their uses. But it was clear that he was building something nasty to fortify his territory.
"If that's the case, should we help? Well, we're going to build a headquarters and a branch here, so it doesn't hurt to go around helping those villages, right?" Layla turned to Aurelia.
"Indeed. Though, I have to return to my group first after this to settle everything down. I will definitely return within?four days.'
"How about returning now? So, by the time you finish, we're about to go to the main city?"
"But…" Aurelia looked unsure. Noel was gravely injured, the knights might have recovered, but they were not strong enough. She was afraid that the previous situation would happen and she had been instructed to protect the Saintess.
"We're done here. And it's not like they're going to attack us anymore. So, I think we will be fine without you."
Aurelia fell silent for a moment before turning around as she felt a presence coming toward them. "Who are you?"
Noel didn't have a change of expression, fully aware of the person who would be coming to this place. "She is my fiancee. You don't have to worry about it."
"Fiancee?" Aurelia squinted her eyes as Anna's figure appeared from the darkness. Of course, she knew Anna. Unlike Aurelia who had to resort to going to the temple in order to avoid political marriage, Anna had a supportive father and the talent to push off that matter.
More importantly, Anna's name had resounded throughout the kingdom as she became the fiancee of Noel Ardagan.
"See? With her, everything should be fine." Layla smiled, reminding Aurelia about the previous discussion.
Aurelia contemplated. On the one hand, she didn't know Anna's state. On the other hand, Anna was an Arbiter and her strength was extremely powerful. She had the True Spirit Body to boot.
After a few minutes, Aurelia finally nodded her head. "I understand. In that case, I will return to my group and head back immediately."
Aurelia looked at Noel and Anna, saying, "Please take care of the Saintess."
Noel nodded while Anna was a bit confused. After getting his acknowledgement, three pairs of angelic wings appeared on her back as she took off into the sky.
"What's going on?" Anna, who had just arrived, asked while tilting her head.
"It's nothing important. Besides, we have fulfilled most of our objectives, so it will be just an easy ride from here on."
"Is that so? Should I go back?"
"No. It's fine. There are also a few things I want to discuss with you. You should be tired after the journey, so why don't you take a rest?" Noel pointed at his tent.
"Since Aurelia is gone, I can finally get some rest without her reprimanding me. I'm going back to my tent." Layla playfully stretched her body, leaving both of them alone.
Grandell didn't even bother to say anything as he used his full speed to disappear, not wanting to get in between them.
"…" Anna didn't know what they had experienced, but it seemed that she was missing something important.
Noel scratched the back of his head. "Well, it seems that it's fine to rest early tonight. Let's go. I have something important that I want you to know."
Anna still hadn't regained her composure, but she still followed Noel to the tent.
Noel's expression turned serious as he sat down. Anna couldn't help but get tense. It was rare for Noel to be this serious. Even when giving important information, Noel usually just said it in a nonchalant way so that the matter looked easy.
"What's wrong, Noel? You're making me scared right now."
Noel took a deep breath. It wasn't an easy matter to discuss, and it was hard to prove it as well. Besides, this memory had been haunting Anna the whole time, so reminding her of this would definitely impact her heart.
"Before I tell you about it, I hope that you can listen to everything first because it will cause a lot of misunderstandings if you don't."
"I understand." Anna accepted without hesitation.
"It's not like I'm picking your fault, especially after telling you that let's think about the future instead of the past."
"Noel, please." Anna's expression turned solemn. With Noel's warning, she knew that it would be extremely important and that it might hurt her. She just wanted to show him that she was ready to hear it.
"In that case, let's start with a question. Do you remember the places where you murdered all the people that helped you?"
Anna's body shook. Even though she had steeled her resolve, she didn't expect that Noel wanted to discuss this one.
A lot of memories rushed into her head. The images that she wanted to forget started haunting her again even though she hadn't done anything to them in this life.
However, Noel's expression showed a bit of anxiety. He must know that she would react this way, so she tried her best to calm down, answering, "I remember. I keep seeing those memories from time to time, knowing that I have to live on with my own mistakes."
"Do you remember all the places? Or just some of it?"
"Not all, but I think I remember most of them."
"If I ask you to point those locations on the map, can you do it?"
Anna fell silent for a moment. "Tell me about the reason first."
Noel scratched the back of his head. "Well, I don't have concrete proof, but from our experience in the past few days, the chance is quite high. So, when we visited the first village, we found out that the Supreme Devil Organization had used it as a normal village.
"In other words, their members acted like normal villager. I don't know the method, but they seal their Spiritual Energy completely, making them look like normal commoners. The buildings are the same, with hidden demon crystals and other stuff that can be used by people like us.
"After thinking about it, I wonder if I actually sent you to those places because I wanted you to slaughter them."
"Huh? What do you mean?" Anna was a bit confused. Noel was a good and kind person. He might be a little selfish, but he always avoided harming innocent people.
"What I want to say is, those places where I trapped you… They might be the bases of the Supreme Devil Organizations. Just like how they created a village to disguise themselves, those places might be the same. With your connection to the Royal Family, which was familiar with the organization, you wouldn't be killed by them.
"In fact, they would heal you. Knowing your personality, you would kill those people after receiving their help. This way, I could somehow train you while eliminating people from the organization."
"!!!" Anna trembled. She never thought about this possibility.
In the past, she had been avoiding this memory because it was her gravest sin. She often looked at her hands covered in blood and a few faces that constantly appeared, reminding her of the massacre.
And this time, Noel came up with the possibility that the people she killed might not be innocent.
"I mean, if you have to describe my actions, shouldn't it look like I was training you and protecting you? After all, there were a lot of opportunities for me to kill you."
"I can't deny it." Anna furiously nodded. Her voice was shaking as she couldn't believe it.
"That's why, if possible, I want you to give me their locations. While we're currently busy and have no way to visit those places to prove this theory, we can go there in a few months. The only way to confirm that theory is through my medal."
Anna looked down. She couldn't help but look at her hands. The memories had affected her sight, making her look at her clean hands as though they were covered in blood.
A few skeletal hands emerged from the grounds as skulls were showing their faces, reminding her that she had killed them even though they had helped her.
And Noel said that it might not be true and her hands might be cleaner than she expected.
"I can't promise that all of them are Supreme Devil Organization bases. And you said that you didn't remember all of them, so…" Noel couldn't continue his words when he saw Anna's expression.
On the one hand, she wanted to know the truth. On the other hand, would she change after knowing this truth? Did she deserve to be this happy?
Even if those people were people from the organization, it didn't change the fact that her nature was brutal, ruthless, and insane.
Noel moved closer to her and just hugged her, burying her face in his chest. "I know that this is not my place to say it, but I think it's fine now. Right now is different from the past. I don't have the memory of it, but I know for sure that we're together now.
"I might not fully know your current feelings, but I do understand your sentiment. If it's not much to ask, I hope that you will allow me to help you shoulder this burden. You are not alone anymore, Anna."
Anna's body was shaking and Noel could hear her little sobbing. Even though they had no proof yet, the possibility alone lifted a lot of burden from her shoulders.
In the past, Noel might have wanted to say this word. Unfortunately, he couldn't really utter those words because they were enemies.
And when she thought about how protective and caring Noel was, both in the present and in the past, she couldn't help but wonder what she had done in her life to deserve him.
"I… Do I… really deserve this kind of hope? If this is just a dream, please I just want to wake up. What if this hope just turns into a nightmare…"
"You have your second chance, and you've been fixing all your mistakes. No one is perfect. Even in this life, you've made a lot of mistakes, but you also strive forward to become a better person the next day.
"Sometimes, we have to let go of the burden in our hearts to see what's in front of us. Even my father said that if everyone doesn't have a second chance, there won't be any punishment other than the death sentence.
"My stance has never changed. I hate the past you, who was merciless, but it doesn't stop me from loving the current you. It's just… I want to do something more for the person I love. If the truth is harsh, I will shoulder that burden with you. If the truth is like a dream, I hope that you won't change… I hope you continue to become a better person."
Anna wrapped her hands on Noel's back while saying, "If you keep doing this, I keep asking if I deserve someone like you…"
"Others' opinions don't matter. Rather than such a vague question, I'm going to say this one thing. You are and will always be the one beside me, there won't be anyone else."
This content is taken from fr(e)ewebn(o)vel.𝓬𝓸𝓶