Chapter 971 Still Guilty Upon stepping inside Coach Ayu’s room, the first thing I noticed was her almost calm demeanor as she sat behind her table. She’s resting her chin on her intertwined fingers with her elbows placed on the table, supporting it.
Her gaze quickly focused on me, watching me take my steps and stop right in front of her table. I sat down and returned her gaze.
Just like that, we spent at least three minutes just staring at each other. She had no plans to open our conversation but she also seemed intent on keeping me here. Otherwise, she could hand me my salary and send me on my way.
That’s why I came to the conclusion that she’s waiting for me to open it. But what should I say first?
Get straight to the point or slowly push our conversation towards that topic?
Anyway, having this kind of staring contest with her, I got the chance to properly appreciate and admire her beautiful face. Well, her beauty is, in a sense, the same as Sena. Sharp, refined and elegant. There’s also a bit of coolness in it.
She’s someone who won’t answer easily if you suddenly talk to her. Instead, she will first send you a menacing glare to intimidate you. If that’s not enough, she will use bodily gestures to add intimidation. For example, cracking her knucklebones or clenching her fist.
In a certain sense, that’s unladylike. But that’s just Coach Ayu.
Besides, although she would act like that to strangers, she’s fairly easy to talk to when it comes to her acquaintances, friends or those who know her personally. When she’s dealing with customer service in the front area, that’s just her acting amiable to not intimidate them.
If Sena is the poster girl for those within our age, Coach Ayu is the same for adult potential gym members.
“Coach, tell me honestly. Are you also mesmerized with this new look?” I put a hand on my chin and acted like the type of idiot who kept on flexing their face.
Opening up the conversation like that, Coach Ayu’s brows flinched in slight annoyance. “As if! Don’t let the attention you received outside get to your head. The Onoda-kun I know is a confident guy who is never bothered about fame or popularity.”
The Onoda-kun she knows…
Now that’s interesting.
In any case, am I really like that? I only see myself as indifferent with my focus entirely on what I decided to do. It’s not about being confident.
But thinking about it, the disastrous speech that I delivered last Thursday stemmed from my confidence that it would go well by acting like myself.
So, saying that I’m a confident guy has some truth in it. But it’s not that I never bothered about fame or popularity. More like, I shied away from it.
The Classmate A dogma.
Well, nowadays, not anymore. I already stuck out more than the most popular guy in our class or even year.
“I’m flattered that Coach sees me like that… But you see, after getting a haircut, almost everyone will stop and stare at me for a second or more.”
“If that’s what you’re talking about… isn’t it natural? Whoever cut your hair is a professional. He or she brought out what you’re hiding beneath your non-styled hair.”
Coach Ayu stretched her arm out, seemingly trying to reach for my hair. But a moment later, she stopped, retracted her arm back and looked away.
“If Coach wants to feel it then it’s fine… There’s no need to be shy.”
“I don’t. Don’t make stories up.” Her answer was swift but from what she had just done, she already sold herself away.
Well, I could tease her more but… I guess I’m not in a great mood for teasing.
Since she’s trying her hardest to suppress whatever she’s feeling, I picked up my chair and put it down next to her.
I moved quickly enough that before she could even notice, I was already about to sit. In this way, the distance between us closed.
“Alright, Coach. Let me put out this guess… Yesterday, you said we were going to talk. Is this what you decided? That you don’t want to be the third wheel between Sena and me?”
Cutting to the chase, I leaned to her side, enough for my shoulder to touch hers. She had all the avenues to push me away. However, this passionate boxer never did. She just watched and nervously tried to stay calm in her seat.
As soon as she recognized that my shoulder was pressing on hers, her eyes went to it before focusing on my face. She still had this sharp and elegant look, however, little by little, it was crumbling.
The reddening of her ears was the sign of it.
“I… I’m not… T-that’s not what I….” She answered in fragments and left it hanging in the end.
“Coach, look at me…” I put a hand on her cheeks that’s starting to warm up. Holding her head through it, I slowly had her face me. And when she did, I continued. “My decision last week doesn’t change. But if it’s your wish to treat that as if nothing happened between us, then so be it… I will honor your wish.”
I arrived at my own thoughts about this relationship with Coach Ayu… I like her, a lot actually. That’s something I realized last week and I already arrived at my answer back then.
Coach Ayu also arrived at an answer back then, however, she got overridden by her guilt toward Sena halfway through. And then her fever returned.
That gave her another week to sort out her feelings. She even got to talk to Sena throughout this week. But I guess it’s still not enough for her. It’s that heavy for someone like her.
Somehow, in the corner of my mind, a thought popped up.
If she’s already like this even before knowing the full extent of my complexities… then it’s probably a lot better to not pull her to our side… It will be hard for her to fully accept it. Worse, she might do a 180 and turn against me.
Well, that’s just my thought and one of the many possibilities… In the end, I still needed to wait for Coach Ayu’s own decision.
Minutes quickly passed.
Apart from the sound of our breathing, the room remained completely still.
I decided not to make any bold moves yet. I simply waited.
Coach Ayu went into deep contemplation. And while doing so, her face underwent not just one or two changes in her expression. She’s still agonizing over what path to choose. And my suggestion doesn’t help with it.
If it’s that easy to forget or erase something that already happened, I wouldn’t arrive at the answer to take responsibility for the girls that I already cut off.
“Onoda-kun…” Pulling me out of my thoughts, Coach Ayu finally arrived at an answer. Looking at her serious expression that’s not giving out what kind of answer she arrived at, I simply waited with bated breath.
I kept caressing her cheek using my thumb, in an attempt to make her comfortable.
“… Sena said it’s fine. She won’t mind it if I… get into a relationship with you. But I… I can’t cast away my guilt. No matter what I do, I will be guilty of liking you, falling for you.”
“I expected as much, Coach. You’re that kind of person, a great woman. It will be easy for me to say that you shouldn’t feel guilty but it will never be effective. That’s why can’t I just take action?”
“What do you…?”
Before she could finish her question, I already made my move. I gently pulled her head to me, sealing her lips with mine.
I could be called cruel for this but if she’s going to feel guilty every time we’re going to do something then it’s better to just drain out that guilt.
Kissing her deeply right off the bat, Coach Ayu’s resistance had no chance to rise. My hands quickly made their move, holding both her head and body.
And because of that, instead of pushing me away, her hands that gripped my shoulder gradually slipped to my back, hugging me tightly.
With her apprehensions crumbling down bit by bit, and so was her guilt.
Instead of letting her pull out and think about it just like last week, I never let go of her. Even when my tongue would send me down to her neck, I would just return to her lips… renewing our intense kiss.
As our bodies gradually entangled, our connection gradually deepened. She’s as hot as before but this time, it’s not because of her fever but of her suppressed feelings raging inside her chest. And the same as her, my reason to hold back was slowly slipping away.
Before I knew it, my hand holding her head slid down to her chest. I searched for the jacket zipper and pulled it down… exposing her grayish-black sports bra to me.
At this point, I paused and opened my eyes to look at the girl in my arms. She was flushed red and was breathing rather heavily yet she looked so sexy at the moment. It’s not her usual sharp and cool expression, Coach Ayu looked so alluring and beautiful.
When she opened her eyes, she looked a little confused. I suddenly stopped, after all.
“Coach, do you still feel guilty?” I asked. “Or do you feel bad? Sena is aware that this can happen to us. She’s just outside this door. Perhaps she’s even listening to our conversation earlier and the sudden silence would hint to her that something else is happening… Even so, will you feel guilty?”
“… She’s aware?” Although her eyes widened upon that realization, they quickly calmed down before lowering her gaze as though she was trying to escape mine. A few moments later, she released a sigh before answering in a straightforward tone, “Rather than think about guilt… I got too indulged with it. It felt great… Ruki, is this fine?”
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