Chapter 1697 Contradiction
"So… Have you succeeded?"
"Come and see for yourself, hubby."
"I still find it difficult to comprehend how you're able to influence us up to our core. She's no different. You've become the center of her world during your time with her. And that hasn't faded away in the slightest regardless of your change… Haa, I hate that we are similar in that regard."
Upon returning to the first room where I left Hana to Haruko and the others, I opened up with that question.
Haruko had an incomprehensible smile on her lips as she moved to the side, allowing me to see the obstinate girl who was pretty much already looking at me like a knight coming in to save her.
On the other hand, Miyako had a hand on her temple, resignedly lamenting about their commonality when it comes to their attachment to me.
Since she’s someone who still had a hate-and-love relationship with me – even if it already tipped to our favored side – she's keenly aware of those subtle emotions that continued to surface in her.
I wouldn't say I'm also fully aware of it. But with my desire still here, what I was feeling was close and similar to their attachment to me. I only managed to set aside my undying yearning for them by ignoring that emotion and cutting them off. Now that they’re back… there’s nothing limiting it anymore.
And that’s why, I gotta really not seek out the other girls who didn’t wait for me like they did.
Anyway, as I approached them from the door while having those thoughts, my feet led me in front of Miyako.
“Shall I comfort you too? I feel like doting on you earlier isn’t enough.”
“Psh. Try again later. You’re busy as is juggling yourself with all of us here. Do what you set out to do and stop straying away.”
“I’m not straying away. And doting on you is what I feel I must do at this moment… Hana, wait for me, alright?”
Cornering her like that, Miyako’s eyebrows furrowed. She looked like she was close to laughing and getting annoyed at the same time.
But as soon as my head drew closer to her, the girl yanked me at my collar, stealing the initiative from me.
Even with the other girls watching us closely, Miyako switched to being more aggressive than just taking the first move. She climbed on top of me and had her way.
One by one, with the exception of Hana and the two seniors still distant from our complex relationship, the girls approached us to get a piece of me as well.
Even Kanzaki, who probably got an eye opener for seeing Hana be broken down by them, squeezed in. It’s only this day that she managed to cast off her cowardly ex and got our first real kiss and yet, she’s already going all out in this.
Maybe the piece of advice she got from Haruko was to never let me forget about her, no matter the situation. With her straightforward personality, that’s wonderfully working in her favor.
The girls went for my cheeks, ears, neck, arms, and legs. If Miyako wasn’t sitting on top of my crotch, they’d probably also pull down my pants to get a taste of me there.
Anyway, if Akane and the others saw this sight, they’d probably do the same and it would take us another hour before we could leave.
No. An hour won’t possibly be enough. Just like what happened in that room with Sena, Ayu, and Aika earlier… I’ll take care of them the best way I can…
To hell with stamina and being utterly drained, right?
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“Comfortable?”
“Un… But why will you do this? Telling them that you’ll take me home instead of going with them.”
“Why? You already know the answer to that. I left you behind so they could dive deeper into what you truly feel. I wanna see if anything has changed.”
I answered as I started stroking the girl’s hair as she comfortably rested her head on my shoulder.
We’re now on a public bus, going on an alternative route that will directly take us to the nearest bus stop to her house. Who am I with? Obviously, it’s Hana.
And like she said, instead of extending my time with the other girls like riding Eguchi-sensei’s car again or joining either Mizuki or Otoha in their car, I told them that I would be staying to take Hana home personally.
Naturally, I still explained my reasoning to them as well as what transpired in that room. It’s a must for me to keep being transparent to them. I even made sure not to be caught in Setsuna-nee's vision to prevent her from questioning me but I guess, I should expect her to bring this up in the future.
I know that it will eventually lead to some of them feeling pangs of jealousy or just finding that they want more of my attention. Unfortunately, I can only do things this way and make up for all of it whenever I can in the future.
I’m shitty this way, that's why I’m always thankful for their continued understanding…
Well, I better stop thinking negatively like this or I’ll be in for a scolding from them.
There’s nothing to look back on my decisions. All I can do is move forward and make sure to take care of them in any way possible.
“You’re being an idiot for ditching those you proclaimed as your number one priority over me. What? Are you going to concede to me now?”
Although her whole body radiates how pleased she was for this, Hana’s response picked on my fickleness.
And she’s right though. I kept drilling into her head that when it came to choosing who to prioritize, she wouldn’t be at the same level as the others. Yet, here I was, idiotically contradicting myself.
“Haven’t I already conceded to you when I told you I love you? You just wouldn’t count it because of your stubbornness to make me fold in a different way.”
“I said I’m going to steal you. Color me surprised when you just hand yourself out without really putting that much thought into it. You’re treating yourself like a multiple printout, aren’t you? You think it’s enough that you give us the same versions of love.”
Printout, huh? It’s not far from the truth. I mean, I eventually love them all equally and there’s no argument about that. In any case, for Hana to use that as a comparison, I guess it sounded a little cheap.
“Is it not enough for you?”
“I don’t know… I can see them overjoyed by it but… I can’t help but think back on the past and cling to it. When I can confidently claim to be the one closest to you…”
As Hana said that, her hand reached for mine. She opened my palm and fitted her fingers on the gaps of my hand. From that connection, I could sense her doubt and trepidation. She’s probably saying all this to me knowing that it could make me pull away. Nonetheless, she’s being rightfully honest at the moment.
And I appreciated that a lot.
Looking out the window, the bus steadily moved as passengers than the other passengers even if our voices aren’t that hushed. We could hear each other’s breaths and heartbeat. And with this kind of came and went from bus stop to bus stop.
We’re once again seated at the very back so… we have more privacy than the other passengers even if our voices aren’t that hushed. We could hear each other’s breaths and heartbeat. And with this kind of conversation, an elating sensation couldn’t help but slowly form in our chest.
“Shall we visit those places in the past? I don’t see anything wrong with clinging to it. I also treat those as precious memories. Though, I’m insufferable in most of them, remembering your genuine smiles from your time with me is enough for me to keep falling for you over and over again. But well, it did sound cheap when I could say the same to everyone else.”
A bitter smile formed on my lips as I finished saying that. But perhaps sensing how I would react, Hana lifted her gaze, catching me with it.
Her grip on my hand tightened and she used her free hand to pinch the side of my lips, stretching it to the side.
“Geez. Don’t look so vulnerable like that… I love you. I can confidently say that now. They drilled into me how naive I am. But Ruki, I still want to prove that I can… steal you. No, I just want to prove that I can make you fall in love with me more than you already are… It’ll be futile, I’m aware. Your love is already boundless and unchanging, after all.”
“Yep. You’re an obstinate girl, alright. Suit yourself. I’ll be doing the same anyway. I just have one request.”
“Request, you?”
“Mhm. I have to bring this up because I don’t want any of you to be in conflict with each other…”
“I see. You dislike me being in conflict with them, huh? Is that what you thought happened earlier? Haruko-san’s provocation is nothing serious as she’s only pointing out the obvious… She didn’t do that out of malice but concern… I’m incorrigibly stubborn, after all.”
“I’m glad you’re aware. I don’t mind small competition but I’ll be really sad if some of you don’t get along with each other. It’s absurd for me to wish for this, of course. But if ever you feel like you’re not coming to terms, I hope all of you can consult me on it and let me help settle whatever conflict you may have.”
No matter what, for our complex relationship to continue working, harmony is a must. But that’s naive to think that nothing can go wrong so as much as possible, I should do my everything to not allow that to become a problem for all of us.
Hana promptly nodded in agreement before laying her head on my shoulder again. There’s no need to discuss it further, I guess?
And so, the two of us simply took in the calming silence and enjoyed each other’s company as the bus traveled down the road.
She did change and became more open to her thoughts. But like she said, she’s probably just going to change her approach on how to take me down. She’d still be stubborn but not in an obnoxious way anymore.
We’ll see how it goes.
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