An apology, no matter how sincere, will still fail to get across if the person believes that the one uttering the apology was irredeemable and unforgivable.
No matter how one coated their words or actions with sincerity, it will be useless if the person is not yet ready to accept it.
That's how Yoko-san appeared to be. Faced with my words if I could apologize to her, her thoughts only momentarily stopped to take a look at me. A split second later, she came to a decision.
She rolled her eyes and the same look of disdain scanned me from bottom to top. Apart from that, she unconsciously took a step back, distancing herself from me.
From that, I would be an idiot if I failed to notice it. What I did to her was something she couldn't simply forgive just because I wanted to take Rae home with me.
"Apology? I believe that's not necessary. I don't remember any offense done."
She bowed her head slightly and glanced at Rae. And while all she could give me was a look of disdain, she's now silently apologizing to the girl at my side.
Understanding that, Rae's body trembled a bit, perhaps from restraining herself to step up and speak for me.
We also talked about this possibility while we were on the bus. I told her that if Yoko-san refused to accept my apology or she acted like there was no need for an apology she wouldn't do anything to convince the woman or come into my defense.
It would be proven unproductive because knowing how the woman cared about her, she's going to respect her and reluctantly accept my apology.
And while it showed that I was forgiven, deep inside, she'd still nurse a grudge and it would be even harder to convince her in the future.
Thinking about it, considering I never felt any remorse or regret about everything I did before the change in me, I literally have no experience when it comes to someone refusing an apology from me.
But with the return of my emotions, I know too well that some things cannot be rushed. This might look like I was turning soft in my methods but this was all for the sake of my girls.
I couldn't be so insensitive anymore to not notice the strain being created by their choice of staying with me.
For sure, some of the girls who stayed far away from me after I let them go were also nursing hatred that would be unforgivable no matter how I apologize to them. So far I've only encountered those I possibly treated a lot better but if someone like that showed up, I'd probably just accept being hated rather than force my apology.
Anyway, as it was something expected, I opted not to repeat myself. Instead, I changed my words while still addressing the woman.
"Mhm… I understand if Yoko-san won't forgive me yet. It's well-deserved after what I did. It's actually laughable that I thought I could apologize to you when I painted myself like that in your head."
"I…" She hesitated for a moment, most likely considering how her answer would affect her relationship with Rae.
Despite their closeness, she's well aware that Rae would put me above her when it comes down to it. I mean, the glasses girl was ready to go against her advice to stay the night at my house.
That's why… she carefully observed Rae first before responding to me. This time, she cast off her identity as a maid and slipped back to the older sister that cares for her.
"... I won't deny that. I cannot forgive you because of what you did. Like you said, you painted yourself as someone hateful. There's a possibility that you're tricking Hon-chan. I have to be vigilant for her."
Upon saying that, the apologetic expression on her face became more apparent as she shifted her gaze at Rae. Perhaps, if not for the current situation where the girl was clinging tightly to me, she would probably pull Rae away from me.
That's how much she wanted to defend the girl.
"Indeed. That's true. There's also the fact that our relationship has just started. I'm actually glad that you're acting like this, Yoko-san. I will be assured that the one living with her would protect her at any cost."
Yoko-san curled her eyebrows. Most likely, she couldn't swallow my kind and thoughtful words right away. I was probably like a devil in her head so… for me to say all that was confusing her.
She's starting to doubt herself if she's right about being vigilant against me.
I'm not expecting to reverse my image within her in this instance but at least, I wanted to show her that… we're at least the same in one thing; our desire to protect the knowledge girl from anything and anyone.
At this point, Rae, who was just observing at my side, emitted a cheerful noise.
Perhaps, she found something funny with our exchange, and she started giggling, causing our attention to fall on her.
Feeling our heated yet confused gaze, she covered her mouth, fixed her glasses, and grinned from ear to ear. The joy she was exuding was as if she was brightening and warming up our surroundings.
Yoko-san relaxed her shoulders as her gentle and kind eyes fixated on the girl.
On the other hand, I could also feel myself heating up as I squeezed her hand tighter to be further subjected to her warmth.
"Yoko-neesan, thank you for looking out for me. I appreciate it. Even when I was still only the girl who couldn't be separated from her books, you never stopped caring for me. That's why… I've been meaning to get close to you again regardless of our current status."
Rae started as she took a step forward, pulling me along with her to close the distance between Yoko-san and us.
"I don't know what happened to you but Ruki… he… he's the one who urged me and gave me a boost to reconnect with you. He planned to make himself appear hateful so that you'll step up to protect me against him. Even though that's not what exactly happened, I think he was successful. He broke through your defense and I managed to talk to the older sister that retreated to some dark place inside your head…"
The knowledge girl then reached her hand out to the woman in front of us. Without waiting for Yoko-san to grab at it, Rae took another step to grab her hand instead.
Although that made her a little surprised, Yoko-san couldn't help but nod at Rae, indicating her understanding. She's definitely processing Rae's words in her head and while it's probably not enough to forgive me, she's starting to consider that possibility.
Guided by Rae's hand, she pulled on Yoko-san's arm and stretched it towards me.
By now, it's fairly easy to understand what she's trying to do so… I first wiped my right hand on the side of my pants just in case it was wet with sweat before shaking the woman's hand.
It made her flinch but with Rae serving as our intermediary, she gulped down and returned the gesture.
"… Honestly, this isn't within our plan but… I guess this is better." I said as I glanced at the girl who was still giggling in joy at seeing us shaking each other's hands. For her, this was probably the start of mending whatever I broke last week.
"I know. You said to leave it to you but Ruki… From my knowledge, isn't there a saying that two heads are better than one? Even if its meaning is kind of distant from this situation, it's still applicable."
And there she goes, flaunting her knowledge again.
But she's right. I tried to do it by myself again, telling her to simply watch over us. But at the moment, without her stepping up like this, the best I could reach was probably a silent acceptance from Yoko-san that I'd be taking Rae home with me.
"Mhm… In this situation, your knowledge is proven valuable." I returned a smile. But truthfully, I already had the urge to lean down and kiss her. It would be bad if I went through it though. It might ruin this situation she created. And so, I simply looked ahead at the woman who was still reluctantly shaking my hand, "Yoko-san, what do you think? Isn't Rae amazing?"
Praising the girl earned me a nudge on my shoulder by her forehead. She felt embarrassed, of course.
And upon seeing that, the stiff woman finally cracked a smile, "I agree. Hon-chan is amazing…"
With that as the start, Yoko-san and I, who finally found something we could agree on, started showering the girl with praise. Naturally, that made the girl even more embarrassed but instead of running away, let go of our hands and stretched her arms wide to pull us into her embrace.
While her head was partly buried in our bodies, Rae affectionately murmured, "Thank you, both of you…"
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