"Stay for a while. I cannot breathe Cosette, and I'm scared of what kind of person I would become just so I could breathe."
Asher's embrace tightened as if he was holding on to dear life; holding on to his last hope, afraid if he let go, he would just fall deeper and deeper into the darkness that was calling him. Words weren't enough to describe how this terrified him. More than losing everything, Asher was even more terrified of what he might do just to prevent that from happening.
"Don't push me away, Cosette," he whispered with a tinge of desperation. "Because if you do, I don't know what would I do anymore."
Cosette's eyes slid to the corner, staring at him while his face was buried in her shoulder. She could feel his hand and chest trembling, making her relaxed her body. Cosette slowly raised her hand on her back, patting it mildly.
"Why… would I?" she whispered back, lowering her soft eyes. "When you're almost screaming for help."
Ironic, because Asher never raised his voice. However, she could feel his silent screams echoing, asking for someone to hold his hand just so he wouldn't fall into whatever hellhole he would crash into. Cosette might not know the details of why Asher felt so scared, but what she was certain of was that she also reached this point in life.
Back then, everyone assumed nothing could ever faze her. With her strong personality and the success of the BLK Corporation with her at the helm, no one had ever suspected Cosette also needed help and saving. Not that she asked, nor did she open up, and that was the reason she kept poking her nose in her friends' business.
The number of people who were brave enough to ask for help and admit they were vulnerable was far too less than the people who bottled everything in. That was why she was sensitive and observant, so it wouldn't be too late. Because at the end of the day, she believed that was the reason she came back.
Cosette had to save everyone: Maxen, Luke, Asher, Mia, and everyone who got involved in the messy story of their tangled fates. Thus, she just couldn't turn her back on them so easily.
Cosette said nothing and just kept patting his back gently. A simple pat on the back, yet, for her and him, it was more meaningful than any grandiose event. Asher's eyes softened as his body gradually relaxed while his grip on her back loosened.
No words were spoken for minutes, letting the wind take the echoing screams in their mind. After more minutes, Asher carefully let her go as he leaned back.
"I'm sorry," he expressed, only to see her smile subtly.
"Thank you. That's what you should say," she humored modestly. "You're welcome."
Asher chuckled shortly. "Thank you."
Cosette simply shrugged, leaning her back against the bench. She took a deep breath and breathed it out through her mouth, reaching for the glass of wine to her lips. After taking a sip, Cosette licked her lips.
"Believe me or not, I used to believe that working hard, being excellent in every area of life, and not making mistakes is the only way to prove myself worthy. I'm a girl, after all, and the only child. I don't want my father's only child to turn out to be a disappointment." She kept her eyes ahead, but she could see that he was staring at her side profile from the corner of her eyes. "I was so focused on chasing after perfection that my actions headed to the disappointment I was so scared of."
"Because of this fear, I didn't realize I wasn't making my dad proud. Instead, I was hurting him for sacrificing our relationship just to prove to others that Cosette Blac is worth it. I pushed those who mattered away for what?" she continued bitterly. "For recognition of those who had done nothing for me."
Cosette slowly faced him, unbothered whether she looked pathetic or bitter. Asher courageously asked for her help, and she didn't have any reason to hide her heart as well.
"Our fathers proved themselves and built a reputation to earn everyone's respect. As children of such excellent men, we are scared we might not meet everyone's expectations. They set the bar too high, after all. But then again, we have to stop for a while and ask ourselves." She paused, recalling the difference between Cosette back and then the Cosette now. "What are they expecting from us? And why did they work so hard to be where they were today?"
Asher could only stare at her, listening to everything she would say as if she sounded like a grown, wise woman.
"It took me a while to realize that my father built his reputation and became a person who could make others have second thoughts before messing with him so he could protect me," she explained with a smile. "My father worked hard all this year so his daughter wouldn't have to fear making mistakes, and so that I know I have someone I could cry to or a place I could go to if I failed."
Cosette reached for his hand and squeezed it. "My dad and Uncle Maynard's personalities might be poles apart, but I'm certain Uncle Maynard wants only the best for you — what makes you happy and free. Because during their time, they didn't have such options."
"Asher, look into people's eyes just like how you look at mine. I'm sure you'll get the answer and enlightenment you seek," she added, nodding at him encouragingly. "If that isn't enough, ask. But do not forget to consider their action and not just words. Don't rush, Ash. Slow down and appreciate the beauty of life."
Asher and Cosette stared at each other in silence with her hand on top of his. Staring at her and listening to everything she had to say slightly put his muddled mind at ease.
"What if the answer is not in my favor?" he asked quietly.
"Then… we drink and think of another way?" she shrugged. "I don't know, but it's not like we needed solutions right away, right?"
"I need them right away."
Cosette shook her head. "No rush," squeezing his hand once again. "Take a moment to breathe and process everything. I'll always be there for you if you need me. There might be times I won't respond immediately, but when I know you need me, I'll be there."
"We're friends, after all," she added as her smile stretched.
Asher didn't reply immediately, studying her face and the sincerity in her eyes. His face softened, nodding in understanding.
"How reassuring."
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