"MY HUSBAND tried to rip his heart out his chest once when I told him I want to own his heart forever."
Pfft.
Neoma laughed after hearing what Empress Gwen said. "Really, Grandma? Grandpa Primo did that?"
"That, my husband did," Gwen said, smiling while shaking her head. "I said I wanted his heart before we got married. But during one of his bad episodes where his Lunacy acted up, he suddenly remembered me saying that. Hence, he tried to rip his heart out of his chest."
She smiled, but she actually felt a bit terrified.
[That's how strong our Lunacy is.]
Anyway, it was a good thing that Neoma lost consciousness.
Empress Gwen brought her to a pretty place.
Well, for some reason, watching the lava inside the mouth of a volcano while sitting on a fluffy cloud was pretty relaxing.
She didn't know why the empress brought her there, but it was fine with her.
[Since this place is close to a dream, I don't feel hot.]
Hence, she calmed down pretty quickly.
"I guess our Lunacy doesn't really have a cure," Neoma pondered out loud. "We can tame it at most. But the moment our mental health crumbles, it's 'bye-bye sanity' already."
"The stronger a de Moonasterio is, the more unstable they are," Empress Gwen said. "You and your twin brother are, by far, the strongest de Moonasterios born in history. It used to be Aruna and Arche. But the two of them have already surpassed them."
"I've always prided myself on being OP, Grandma," Neoma said solemnly. "But now that I've retrieved some of my memories, I regret being too strong." She looked at her hands and realized that they were shaking a bit. "I've taken so many lives with these hands, and some of them might have been my loved ones."
She only remembered how to kill, but she didn't remember whom she had killed.
Hence, she was suffering.
Her heart was heavy with guilt.
"Then you have to atone this time, Neoma."
"…"
"Save as many as you have killed," Empress Gwen said gently. "If you have the power to kill, then you also have the power to save. This world might reject you because your existence is a threat, but that shouldn't stop you from atoning for your sins."
Ah, she didn't expect those words to lighten the heaviness in her heart.
Her grandma was right.
[I have to atone for my sins, so I shouldn't be sulking.]
"Moreover, don't you think it's a blessing in disguise that you know how to kill your loved ones?" Empress Gwen asked. "You can avoid hurting them."
Ah, her grandma had a point.
But she was still worried about something.
"I will never hurt them when I'm on my right mind," Neoma said firmly, then she sighed. "But what would happen if I suddenly lose to my Lunacy? I'm afraid that I might end up killing them." She hugged herself when she suddenly felt a shiver down her spine. "When I saw the minor gods who tried to make a contract with me earlier, I saw how to kill them. And I had the urgency to do so just because I know I can. I never thought my arrogance was a serious problem until the moment I looked at my loved ones and realized how easy it is for me to end their lives."
For the first time in her life, she got scared of her own power.
Because she knew that her unstable mind could break at any moment because of her Lunacy.
[I don't want to be strong anymore…]
"Neoma, did my husband tell you that I was the Demon Queen when I was still alive?"
She was confused by the random question, but she still nodded her head politely. "Yes, Grandma."
"My husband was just exaggerating."
Well, she wasn't surprised.
[Grandpa Primo seemed like the type to exaggerate things for his own entertainment.]
"It's true that I have demon blood," Empress Gwen said. "But I was never their queen. In fact, I was the one who helped the gods seal the Demon Race in the Underworld."
"Oh…"
"Most of the demons of that time were horrible creatures who only saw humans as food," her ancient grandma explained. "To be fair, there was a time when humans and the demons co-existed. But after the Absolute Darkness almost swallowed the entire world, the demons who got affected by the Absolute Darkness had lost their minds. Hence, the higher demons– the ones considered as the gods among the Demon Race– decided to kick the demons back to the Underworld. And they asked me to help them."
Ohh.
So, it was the leaders of the Demon Race who decided to leave the human world.
"You did the world a huge favor, Grandma. And yet that fully Callisto de Luca killed you the moment he found out you had demon blood in you," Neoma said, clicking her tongue. "That fucking bastard should have been thrown to the Underworld with the demons."
Empress Gwen looked shocked by her "colorful" choice of words, then she laughed softly. "I thought I needed to use my power to help you stabilize, but it seems like you've totally calmed down now."
"Ah, yes," she said, scratching her cheek. "Honestly, now that I'm sober, I feel embarrassed for crying like a baby."
As expected, her big brain worked best when her mind was clear.
"Do you remember trying to gouge your eyes out?"
Neoma nodded, her cheeks burning from embarrassment. "Yes, Grandma. Thank goodness you stopped me in time."
"Is that what you think?"
"Huh?"
"I was a little late, Neoma," Empress Gwen said, and she looked a bit embarrassed. "The seal you put in your soul to stop your Soul Beast and the other Spirits inside you was pretty strong. Hence, it took me a while to break free."
Okay, another chill was sent down her spine. "But I didn't feel any pain earlier…"
"It's because you weren't in your proper mind."
She gulped hard. "Did I… gouge my eyes out?"ραпdαs `n?ν?| сom
"You didn't succeed, but you hurt your eyes pretty badly," her ancient grandma explained. "Your eyes were bleeding. Don't worry, though. After all, you have a good Healer by your side."
Neoma let out a groan while 'washing' her face with her hands. "God, I probably traumatized my people. Worse, I had to make my youngest heal the eyes that I tried to gouge out. I need to return to them now, Grandma."
"Alright," Empress Gwen said. "But, first, let me teach you how to use the Death Scythe every time you feel like your Lunacy is taking over your sanity."
She removed her hands from her face. "Is that similar to the technique that Grandpa Primo taught me? He taught me how to draw out your demonic power from Skewer."
"It's pretty similar, but also different."
She just knitted her eyebrows at what her ancient grandma said.
"You can turn your own breath into a poisonous gas that could 'kill' the Lunacy if it starts acting up," Empress Gwen explained, smiling. "You just have to mix a bit of your demonic power into it."
Neoma clutched her head pretty tightly. "No, I'm going to get more powerful again."
[It's so hard to be the main character of my own life…]
***
MONA'S hands wouldn't stop shaking.
They saw how Neoma almost gouged her eyes out with her bare hands.
Fortunately, a Spirit appeared and stopped her daughter from doing that horrible thing to herself.
When Neoma fainted, the Dome around her also collapsed.
Everyone rushed to her daughter's side.
But everyone also knew that the most qualified person to check on Neoma would be Greko– the young yet brilliant Healer.
"I-It's alright. E-Eomma didn't succeed," Greko, whose glowing hands were pressed carefully against Neoma's closed eyes, assured them in a shaking voice. The golden lights that covered the young Healer's hands were actually fairy dust. It was the most effective healing powder in the world. "Eomma's eyes are f-fine."
The young Healer looked pale not because he was getting tired from healing Neoma, but because he was in shock.
It must have been traumatizing for Greko to see her "eomma" gouge her eyes out.
Neoma cried blood as a result of her recklessness.
And it wasn't only Greko who was traumatized.
Nikolai, Nero, Hanna, Lewis, and the rest of Neoma's "children" were also stiff.
But she was more worried about her husband and son.
Nikolai and Nero, just like Mona, were kneeling beside Neoma to keep a close watch on her.
[But my husband and son look like they're about to lose their minds.]
That was when Mona finally stopped shaking.
She had to pull herself together for her family.
[At least one of us has to stay sane.]
Mona held Neoma's slightly cold hand, then she transferred some of her energy to her daughter to keep her warm. And she succeeded. Soon, Neoma's cold hand finally turned warm. "Neoma, baby, you're fine," she whispered gently. "We're all here for you."
Nikolai and Nero then placed their hands on top of her hands.
Mona expected silence to answer her back.
But she was wrong.
"Mama Boss…"
Mona's eyes widened in shock when Neoma called her.
She also heard a collective gasp around her, but she only focused on her daughter.
"Neoma, how are you feeling?" Nikolai asked right away. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"
"No," Neoma answered weakly, shaking her head. "But I'm hungry…"
?α?dαsηθνε| Nobody reacted right away.
Well, except for one.
Nero immediately stood up and headed for the door. "I'll summon your favorite chef."
'Favorite chef?'
Mona briefly wondered if Nero would summon Ruto, but she got distracted when Neoma gently squeezed her hand. "Yes, baby?"
"Mama Boss, Papa Boss, I have a request."
Mona and Nikolai answered at the same time. "What is it, daughter?"
"Let's proceed with the Selection of my husband," Neoma said in a hurry. "I have a lot of jobs to do, you see. I'm sorry for making you worry, everyone. But I'm fine and ready to work now, so…"
Mona felt a pang in her chest.
[Why is my daughter so workaholic?]
Nikolai let out a sigh while pinching the bridge of his nose. "No," he said firmly. "You're grounded until you fully recovered, Neoma Roseheart de Moonasterio."
"No," Neoma complained lightly. "I can't afford to rest!"
***
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