‘Just this once, can I just loosen up a little?’
Of course, I didn’t mean to let my guard down. However, I had put on a wall that always masked my true intentions to others. People like Ana, Lily, Daniel, and even Charles didn’t really know who I was and what I was capable of.
If I was to fully express myself to this woman, would I be able to let go of the loneliness welling up within me? No one understood my point of view in this world— no, even before now. However, Lara felt like a kindred spirit. Perhaps if it was her…
In any case, the problem was how to begin the conversation and gear it in the direction I wanted. I could think of a bunch of questions I wanted to ask, but couldn’t decide on a particular one to start from.
“My full name is Lara Jerfied. I’m twenty-three, a Gifted like you. I am, no… I was a Psychiatrist.”
I was shocked that she started her introduction before even needing me to kickstart the conversation. As she kept talking, I found out more about her.
‘A psychiatrist, eh? No wonder she’s weird…’ I thought to myself..
Apparently, she had just finished her thesis for her doctorate, an impressive feat for a woman so young. She must have been considered a prodigy when the world was still normal. It would be no understatement to say she would have appeared on the news at some point.
‘Welp, I wouldn’t have heard of her… I didn’t care about stuff like that.’ I mused
She also told me about how she used to work at a mentally ill facility and dealt with various kinds of people. It was interesting, hearing her speak about her very ‘peculiar’ line of work. This was most likely what shaped her mentality into what it was now.
“You think I’m weird, don’t you?” Lara smiled, appearing to realize that I was analyzing all she was telling me.
Even though I told myself to loosen up, I couldn’t shake up the habit of critically examining everything being spoken. Well, with a woman as mentally sharp as Lara, it was probably best to keep my guard up.
“In my opinion, you’re the weird one, you know…” Lara mumbled, shrugging a little.
She seemed a little upset that I didn’t respond to her earlier question. For some time now, she had been the one speaking. I only listened. It was difficult talking to someone who seemed to be able to guess my thoughts and read in-between the lines.
‘Before I address something, she’ll talk about it. There’s really no space for me to enter the conversation…’
“How… am I weird?” I finally asked, fumbling a little in my speech.
That was a little embarrassing, messing up in front of someone I was superior to. Perhaps it was due to our age gap? No. Charles was way older and he was also mature.
Maybe it was the look in her eyes and her smile that seemed to gnaw at my unease. I didn’t like the emotions of confusion welling up within me— but enduring was the only solution.
“Well, for one… you’re too grown for your age. I’m a psychiatrist, you know? I’ve seen many cases of mature teenagers and immature adults. I’ve personally addressed people with warped personalities…”
As Lara spoke, she revealed the existence of a child who killed both parents all for something petty, even adults who resorted to eating their children. Several nasty stuff popped up and I was surprised by the cruelty and insanity abreast even in society before it all came crashing down.
“… But you’re different. I’ve never seen a case like you. Perhaps that’s what makes me so interested in you.” She smiled, a bit of mischief evident in the glint within her eyes.
My emotions were in check, so I wasn’t flustered in the slightest. Lara was playing a game. As a psychiatrist, she must have learned various techniques to get her patients to talk— as an expert in the field, there was no doubt she was trying to use various means to reveal ‘things’ she was interested in.
“Well, I’m interested in you too. Your Gift is extremely useful, and I particularly like how your mind works.”
Compliments were essential in conversations like this. I could tell— since I was also moved by the words she used to address me.
“Well, thank you.” She smiled slightly, though hiding a deeper expression underneath her expression.
It was quite an interesting game. Our conversation was layered on personal interests. I had thought we could relate freely, but our personalities were too similar. Upon realizing that I was speaking to a mind like mine, the hope of a normal heart-to-heart was vanquished.
The only advantage I had over her was my superiority. For my safety, killing her would be best. But, it would be too much of a waste. Greed lit up in my eyes as I realized that I wanted this woman… in her entirety.
“Lara… I like you.” I smiled, giving my first truly sincere words since the conversation began.
Her eyes lit up a little, clearly surprised that I had gone down the honest route. The only way I could get to see her true self was if I revealed a bit of mine first.
“Well, I can’t say I feel the same way. It’s the opposite actually. You frighten me, if I’m being honest.” Her arms shifted a little, showing discomfort.
Her confident grin was gone and her face clouded up. Whether this was an act or not— I couldn’t say, but it felt real.
According to the words she uttered after making this initial statement, she mentioned how my cruelty and abilities sent shivers down her spine. However, she wasn’t lying about her interest in me either.
As expected, it was wise to show her Larry’s death. That, as well as the merciless way I sent the other deserters to their deaths, showed that I could easily kill her if she offended me, proved to be a threat, or grew less interesting.
Her life was in the palm of my hand. She was scared for no reason, though— at least for the most part. Strangely, I didn’t want to kill this woman.
The thought of ‘I can use her!’ kept flashing in my mind. A bright smile formed on my face and I looked at Lara once again.
‘Well, what’s the harm in keeping her…?’
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