Volume 4, Chapter 99 [Alone In a Confined Space]
――Two vital characters have simultaneously gone missing.
Naturally, facing a situation that had never come up in these loops, Subaru’s insides were burning with panic.
Sprinting through the Sanctuary, Subaru headed for Lewes’ residence―― the small cabin on the village outskirts she had been living in after lending her home to Emilia
[Garfiel: …….Look who decided t’come]
When Subaru belted open the door and stormed inside, he found Garfiel standing there imposingly, waiting for him. With arms crossed, nose furrowed, and irritation in plain view, he glared at Subaru,
[Garfiel: Took y’long enough. How long were y’plannin’ t’keep me waitin’?]
[Subaru: Well I got here as fast as I could…… But never mind that, what’s this about Lewes-san being missing?]
[Garfiel: Can’t y’see for yerself?]
Garfiel jerked his chin, indicating the cramped room. Looking over the space, if it were wide enough to be called that, Lewes’ temporary lodging was a simple shack with no furnitures except a bed.
If Lewes wasn’t on that bed, then there was no doubt she wasn’t in this house.
Taking control of his breathing, Subaru roughly wiped the sweat off his forehead with a sleeve.
[Subaru: It’s obvious she’s not here, but…… isn’t calling that missing a bit too much? Lewes-san may not look like it, but she’s a proper adult already. Maybe she’s just out for a walk or something, there’s no need to……]
[Garfiel: Shut up! Th’fuck d’you know!? Granny ain’t never missed showin’ up at breakfast fer no fuckin’ reason. I ain’t never seen her oversleep or stay sick in bed either, and y’sayin’ she’s takin’ a walk? Y’want me t’eat ya!?]
[Subaru: That was a rough way of putting it, but your life with Lewes-san sounds pretty cozy, huh…..]
Even with circumstances as they are, the basis for the notion that Lewes has gone missing was actually rather weak. Pointing this out, Subaru slumped, but Garfiel didn’t seem to share in Subaru’s sentiment.
He walked up to Subaru, who finally straightened his back, and bared his fangs,
[Garfiel: It never happened before, yet it’s happenin’ this mornin’. If anythin’s happenin’ now that ain’t happened here before, it’s ’cause you people’re involved, even an idiot knows that. ――Y’bastard did somethin’ with Granny, didn’t ya?]
Though Garfiel seemed to have an incredible knack for making baseless accusations, this time, his suspicion hit right on the mark.
Lewes’―― currently Lewes Theta’s―― disappearance was almost certainly because of Subaru. It was hard to imagine that someone would have kidnapped her and Emilia simultaneously.
She left willingly without saying anything to Garfiel. Just like Emilia, she was blocked by the Sanctuary’s Barrier, so she couldn’t have fled outside. In other words, it was her intention to go into hiding. ――And the time-limit for finding her was even more pressing than Emilia’s.
[Subaru: If I don’t find Theta-san by the end of today……]
The rotation schedule will switch her into tomorrow’s Lewes―― Alpha, Beta, or Sigma will take her place. If that happens, he will not have another chance to speak with Theta within the two-day limit, and his perfect-run of the Sanctuary route will be thwarted.
[Garfiel: They…ta?]
Hearing Subaru call Lewes this, a question mark floated onto Garfiel’s face.
Subaru was about to ask for Garfiel’s help in finding Theta, but he gave up on that idea the moment he saw Garfiel’s expression.
The question surging up inside Subaru prevented him from saying a word.
[Subaru: ――――]
It was a simple question, but one he had never confirmed.
――Does Garfiel actually know about the four representative Lewes personalities?
Garfiel certainly knew about the Lewes Meyer inside the crystal in the abandoned experimental grounds deep within the forest. He had challenged the Trial, met Echidona, and qualified as an Apostle of Greed. Naturally, holding the Command Authority over replicants, Garfiel was aware of the existence of the identical-looking Lewes clones.
But, what about the rest? Does Garfiel know about the four Lewes personalities, Alpha, Beta, Sigma and Theta?
[Garfiel: Th’hell’s that? Y’stopped talkin’ all of a sudden. If y’got some kinda clue, fuckin’ spit it out now. “Straight n’ honest Lib-Lib’s happy even when he’s swindled”, they say]
[Subaru: Sounds like Lib-Lib’s going to be swindled forever, like that……]
Imagining the story of some random happy prince, Subaru wasn’t sure how best to answer Garfiel.
His confrontation with Garfiel was supposed to be the final barricade to completing the Sanctuary route. Honestly, Subaru wasn’t nearly prepared enough to face him without having heard what Theta has to say. And yet, whatever answer he gives here could inadvertently influence the outcome.
――Just how should he respond? After much deliberation, Subaru,
[Subaru: Say, Garfiel. Couldn’t you just summon Lewes-san if you wanted to?]
[Garfiel: ――――gh!!]
Immediately, Subaru saw Garfiel’s expression violently shift. Garfiel’s eyes wavered in discomposure as he lunged forward, grabbing Subaru by the collar.
At a distance so close that their foreheads almost touched, Garfiel’s golden pupils seethed with rage―― a rage so intense that it could burn its target to nothing with that gaze alone.
[Garfiel: Th’fuck y’talking about… I ain’t got a shred of fuckin Milfram’s clue th’fuck yer talkin about, oy!]
[Subaru: I-I don’t know what a Milfram is, but…… that’s not exactly the reaction of someone who doesn’t have the shred of a clue, is it…… let go, dumbass]
Perhaps flipping out and grabbing Subaru was just his way of calming himself. Garfiel’s words as he tried to cover it up was inherent nonsense.
Hit right on the mark by Subaru’s observation, Garfiel’s grip loosened as Subaru used the opportunity to escape. Smoothing out his crumpled clothing, Subaru took a step back to put some distance between them,
[Subaru: I meant exactly what I said. I know you’re not too stupid to understand. You have a way to do it. You have the quickest, simplest solution on hand. Why aren’t you using it?]
[Garfiel: Y’say it like it’s fuckin’ easy…… tch]
Garfiel’s cheeks twisted in disgust as he glared at Subaru with utmost hatred.
But despite the intensity of the rage and hostility harbored in those eyes, Subaru could clearly discern a shadow of grief mixed within it.
Noticing that hint of sorrow, Subaru’s expression shifted, but Garfiel, sensing that the depths of his emotion had been seen through, clicked his tongue and looked away.
[Garfiel: That’s why I can’t let down my guard with a qualified bastard standin’ here. I dunno what that fuckin’ Witch filled yer head with. But don’t fuck with me, don’t fuck with me]
[Subaru: ――――]
[Garfiel: So y’know about Granny’s experimental grounds? Then y’must know ’bout Granny’s original in th’rock as well…… It ain’t something t’just use]
Clutching his chest with his right hand, it was as if Garfiel was trying to hide it from Subaru’s view. Even though it probably wasn’t physically there, Subaru figured he must be indicating the invisible Command Authority he possessed.
With his arm still holding his chest,
[Garfiel: I ain’t anythin’ like you n’ Roswaal. I ain’t gonna use somethin’ just because I can…… I ain’t never gonna think like that]
[Subaru: ……Garfiel]
[Garfiel: Just me alone is enough. Long as I got myself, I don’t need anythin’ else. I ain’t fuckin’ usin’ this power unless it’s the last of the last of the last resort. ――Grandma, she… she’s my grandma]
Those last words fell to a whisper.
Subaru had heard him call her “Grandma” once before. But this time, it was more tender than he had ever heard him speak.
Without any intention behind it, what slipped out must have been Garfiel’s true thoughts.
[Garfiel: ――Tch]
Noticing his own slip-up, Garfiel kicked at the floor in frustration. The exorbitant force caused the whole shack to lurch, sending down specks of dust tickling Subaru’s head as he waited for Garfiel’s next move.
Realizing that he was the only one getting worked up, Garfiel’s expression twisted in even further discomfort as he shoved Subaru out of the way.
[Garfiel: Move. I ain’t talkin’ with you anymore. If you ain’t tellin’ me where Granny is, I’ll just look for her myself. When I do, I ain’t letting y’touch her ever again]
[Subaru: Why does that, why does that kinda sound like it’s all my fault?]
[Garfiel: Before you…… before y’fuckers came, everythin’ was peaceful n’ nothin’ ever happened here. I’m bringin’ us back to that time. I don’t need nothin’ whether it’s in here or out there…… I don’t need nothin’]
Leaving those faltering words behind, Garfiel marched out of the small shack. Bending his knees as soon as he was out of the door, he bounded out with his bestial leg-strength―― and although his path was straight, he disappeared from view in only a matter of seconds.
Batting away the dust that Garfiel’s departure had kicked up, Subaru decided to check over the room once more before leaving.
Regardless of Garfiel’s hasty conclusions, would Lewes really disappear without leaving any trace behind? Or at least, she might have left some hints about where she was going――
[Subaru: But then again, if there was anything, the guy who’s known her for ages should’ve noticed it. My nose isn’t as sharp as his and my eyes aren’t any better…]
After five minutes of searching and finding nothing, Subaru sighed with that self-deprecating lament. Heading out of the cabin, he gazed in the direction of the village, in thought.
[Subaru: ――――]
Emilia and Lewes Theta, those two had almost simultaneously disappeared.
Chances were, both of them left their buildings of their own accord, and were trying to hide from Subaru and everyone else. There was even a possibility that they were working together.
[Subaru: I don’t remember Emilia and Lewes-san being close, but……]
Ever since arriving in the Sanctuary, Emilia’s mind had been occupied by the Trials and the Royal Selection. Subaru couldn’t recall a single instance where she casually interacted with anyone here.
At most, she had some conversations with Subaru, Ram, Otto, but she rarely ever spoke with Lewes or Garfiel.
Thinking about it now, her lack of interaction with others might’ve been the reason she was so fixated on her lonely sense of duty, and it was Subaru’s fault for not paying enough attention to her. If Subaru had done more to smooth things out, Emilia would not have had so many emotions pent up inside, and perhaps they would’ve found a clearer solution to their problems.
[Subaru: But it’s a bit late for that, isn’t it……]
This wasn’t the time to be thinking about the underlying causes of Emilia’s disappearance. More importantly, delving into it would only push Subaru further into blaming himself.
There was no time to wallow in self-loathing now.
[Subaru: It’s a good thing Garfiel doesn’t know that Emilia’s also missing…… not that he’d prioritize looking for her before looking for Lewes-san, but there’s no knowing what he’d say if given the pretext]
Even this small relief would be pointless if he doesn’t find Emilia soon. But finding Lewes Theta wasn’t a matter he could put off, either.
If he doesn’t find Theta before Garfiel does, it won’t be easy getting past the overprotective Garfiel after that.
In other words, what Subaru needed to do could be summed up as:
[Subaru: Secure Emilia and Lewes Theta before Garfiel does, figure out Theta’s reasons for opposing the Sanctuary’s liberation, get Emilia back on her feet, have her challenge the Trials, and do all of that within half a day…… huh]
[???: ……Natsuki-san, just how brambled does the path have to be before you’re satisfied?]
As Subaru came to that rather bleak conclusion, Otto showed up by the door just in time to butt in.
Arriving quite a bit later than Subaru, who sprinted here, Otto looked around the shack’s dishevelled interior and furrowed his brows.
[Otto: Even if you’re rummaging through a house, you could’ve been more elegant about it. Though, your conversation with Garfiel seems to have concluded safely]
[Subaru: Concluded safely, but can’t say I got anything out of it. Anyway, I’ve reaffirmed the situation and our next course of action is just as I mumbled]
[Otto: All I got from that mumble was that we have some new problems piled on top of the old ones and now it’s all a jumbled mess, more or less]
[Subaru: .………]
Unable to weasel around Otto’s accurate impression, Subaru slumped his shoulders.
Nevertheless, the fact that Subaru was feeling more at ease than before was no doubt because Otto’s presence meant he would no longer have to agonize over it alone.
[Otto: ……I’ll feel troubled if you keep giving me that blatantly-relieved look, you know]
[Subaru: ――? What?]
[Otto: ……forget I said anything. You don’t seem to realize it, huh. No way you do. Aaaaagh but if you do and you’re doing this to me on purpose then I’m totally getting led by the nose here, aren’t I…]
Watching Otto messing up his gray hair, Subaru tilted his head. But, without answering Subaru’s confused expression, [Anyway!], Otto shouted,
[Otto: There’s no doubt that the already hopeless situation just got even worse. So what do we do? Now that the circumstances that already made me want to run for it as it is managed to plummet even further, how’re we getting out of this? I have a feeling that if we hurry now we could still dump everything and make a run for it]
[Subaru: After everything you’ve seen and heard, you still think we can drop everything and run away? Neither of us is the kind of people who can do something that irresponsible, right?]
[Otto: ……But it looks like Emilia-sama has done exactly that]
Looking away, Otto muttered with a sigh.
It wasn’t out of spite. Otto was simply venting the dissatisfaction pent up in his chest. Realizing this, Subaru did not blame him for it.
Subaru only lightly shook his head,
[Subaru: Emilia isn’t the kind of girl who’d turn tail and run in the face of her problems……]
[Otto: But, how can you say that? Natsuki-san. I’ve been meaning to say this for a while now, but, are you sure you’re not too fixated on only Emilia-sama’s attractive side?]
[Subaru: ……What’s that supposed to mean. Well, yeah, Emilia is so beautiful that my eyes could explode]
[Otto: While I definitely agree with that, I’m sure you know that’s not what I meant]
Seeing his lame joke easily swept aside, Subaru twisted his lips under Otto’s gaze.
As if finding it a bit painful to watch, Otto raised a finger with, [You listening?],
[Otto: I understand why you’d only want to see the good side of someone you have a crush on. I’m sure that kind of thing is very common. So I don’t blame you for projecting your ideals on her]
[Subaru: ――――]
[Otto: But Emilia-sama is not a perfect person. In fact, she has quite a few problems. And that includes the factors that are totally outside of her control. Her origin, her standing, and all the other issues that come with it]
Listening to Otto’s fluent speech, Subaru figured Otto must’ve wanted to lecture him on this for quite some time now and had prepared those words beforehand.
And indeed, his words were sound and left no room for rebuttal.
[Otto: Naturally, those external factors are unrelated to Emilia-sama’s inner purity. And her outward beauty only adds to her charm. But, Natsuki-san. Emilia-sama is only a mortal…… she’s just an ordinary girl. And just like ordinary girls, she has her share of worries, weaknesses, and unattractive aspects to her as well]
[Subaru: No but, only Emilia……]
[Otto: Don’t you find it strange that you’re only blindly seeing Emilia-sama in a different light? Natsuki-san, since coming to the Sanctuary, you must have seen plenty of Emilia-sama’s shortcomings first-hand, right? Those shortcomings won’t be limited to this place but will come up again and again in the future as well. Emilia-sama’s aspirations are too high above the reach of ordinary people, after all]
That was Otto’s opinion of the height of Emilia’s aspirations―― the Throne.
A pinnacle which many others, just like Emilia, were also aspiring to reach.
There was Crusch Karsten, noble and sincere, of high-minded ideals and undeniable ability.
There was Priscilla Barielle, arrogant and insidious, and consequently unshakable in her will.
There was Anastasia Hoshin, greedy and calculating, devoting everything to realizing her dream, having reached her current station by her unmatched competitive spirit.
And there was Felt, poor and weak in her initial position, but driven by an upwards ambition far beyond her young age that would not allow herself to stop still.
Every other Royal Selection candidate was in possession of peerless determination and virtue.
Faced with these worthy opponents, was Emilia really fit to stand among them?
She was kind, kinder than anyone else. But was that really enough?
[Otto: Right now, Emilia-sama is still lacking in all sorts of things. She isn’t ready. And the way she is now, she’ll probably want to flinch and run away in the face of hardships. This would be one of those times she chose to flee. Why can’t you see it, Natsuki-san?]
[Subaru: ……but that’s… I don’t… Emilia would never……]
Never. But as much as Subaru wanted to continue, he couldn’t.
He couldn’t find the words. The feeling was certainly there, his feelings about Emilia. But how could he form it into words here so Otto would understand?
[Subaru: ――――]
[Otto: ……You’re really stubborn, you know that?]
Subaru bit down on his lip and only stared at Otto with resistance in his eyes. But, seeing that gaze, Otto looked away.
He shrugged with an astounded shake of his head and turned his eyes towards the village,
[Otto: We don’t have to reach a conclusion on this right now. Just talking about it won’t change the situation, anyway. We’ll still have to find Emilia-sama and Lewes-san]
[Subaru: ……Sorry. I know there are lots of things we should properly talk about]
[Otto: I’ll overlook it since we’re friends. ――So, what do we do now?]
Jerking his chin―― indicating the Sanctuary, Otto left the next course of action up to Subaru.
Should they run, or fight? And which one of the two missing people should they search for first? The fact that he’d leave those decisions to Subaru was just proof of how much Otto trusted him.
Though he had no intention of taking that trust lightly, Subaru couldn’t help but smile to himself for the blessing he’d been given.
And,
[Subaru: Garfiel doesn’t know that Emilia’s missing. And even if Garfiel does find Emilia, it’s not too much of an issue. ――The worst case would be that Garfiel finds Lewes-san before we do. If we lose the chance to talk with Lewes-san, we’ll be getting even further away from the perfect ending]
[Otto: ……In other words?]
[Subaru: ――We’ll search for Lewes-san first. We find her before Garfiel, and hear what she has to say]
[???: ――Emilia. Everyone’s about to have an important talk. So be a good girl and wait in your usual spot, okay?]
With this, young Emilia was shoved into the hollow of the great tree deep within the forest―― the so-called “Princess Room”―― which was one of the things in life she wasn’t particularly happy about.
In the village in the forest where the Elves lived in secret, Emilia grew up loved by everyone.
All the adults adored her and would indulge her little whims without the slightest complaint. While the fact that she rarely got to play with other children made her feel a little lonely, she had to follow her instructions. Rules like that must be firmly kept: that was what her foster mother, Fortuna, had told her.
Fortuna was the one who took care of Emilia in the Elven village, a person who was like a mother to her.
She had silver hair and amethyst eyes just like Emilia, but she’d cut her hair short since she found long hair too much of a hassle, and the sharpness of her eyes set them far apart from each other.
Emilia could no longer remember when she first started living with Fortuna. All she knew was that Fortuna wasn’t her real mother but a blood-relative somewhere in the vicinity of an aunt.
{Fortuna: I’m your father’s younger sister, you know. My brother…… your dad and your mom are busy right now and can’t be here with you…… so they’ve asked me to look after you}
Fortuna’s explanation came as a great shock to Emilia. But, it wasn’t a shock in the negative sense. Even though she kept insisting that she wasn’t her real mother, as far as Emilia was concerned, Fortuna was undoubtedly her mother.
And, on top of having mommy Fortuna, she had a father and a real mother as well. Normally, people only had two parents, a mom and a dad, but Emilia had a dad and two moms. How lucky she is, she thought.
{Fortuna: Your silver hair is from my brother. And the color of your eyes too, it really runs in the family. ……Your gentle face is from your mother, though. Everyone on our side has scary-looking eyes}
{Emilia: ……But I like your eyes, mommy Fortuna?}
Fortuna’s eyes were usually intense and severe. And occasionally, when Emilia made her mad, the sharpness of her eyes would intensify, causing Emilia to shudder tremendously.
But, aside from those times when she got angry, Fortuna was Emilia’s ideal mother, and Emilia received her sharp eyes with loving emotions.
As a mother, Fortuna was strict but kind.
Although the young Emilia sometimes thought the rigid discipline she imposed was a bit excessive, even at her age, Emilia understood that it was all with her best interests in mind.
Her discipline was never accompanied by violence, and she never scolded Emilia for anything unreasonable. Even on the rare occasions when her scoldings made Emilia cry, they would reconcile the same night and fall asleep in each other’s arms.
{Fortuna: If there’s one thing I reeaally regret, it’s that I wasn’t kinder to people. If I had realized that sooner, my brother wouldn’t have waited till the end to rely on me}
A loneliness would rise on Fortuna’s face whenever she said “Reeally”.
This left such a strong impression on Emilia’s mind that she made a special effort to imitate it. Except she would use it not when she was sad, but when she was happy and laughing.
Perhaps it was the shallow wish of a child to paint over the memories of her mother’s loneliness and sadness by using it for something uplifting and joyous instead.
[Emilia: Mmuuu…… so boring]
Back to where our story began, Emilia was shut up in the Princess Room alone.
She didn’t like being called “Princess” very much, but since that was what everyone in the village called her, she had grown used to it by now.
Because she knew they weren’t making fun of her but were saying it with affection, she never requested that they stop. But the fact that they had stuck that moniker on the room she was being shut up in was one of young Emilia’s few dissatisfactions in life.
[Emilia: What could everyone be doing……]
If Emilia was shut inside the Princess Room, it meant there must be visitors from outside the village. Quite a large group of outsiders would occasionally enter the forest to visit the hidden Elven community. And while no one ever told Emilia this, she could always sense it on her skin.
Actually, this sixth-sense of sorts was due to Emilia subconsciously interfering with the micro-spirits in the forest which informed her of those people’s presence, but Emilia didn’t know this at the time.
Hugging her knees in the narrow room, Emilia usually passed her time flipping through the pages of the books she’d been given or playing with the shabby doll Fortuna had made for her.
Although she had been told that those were secret talks that only adults could understand, there seemed to be plenty of children present as well, which only added to Emilia’s dissatisfaction.
She mustn’t tell lies or keep secrets, that was what mommy Fortuna had taught her. But wasn’t it wrong for mommy Fortuna and the adults to lie and keep secrets from Emilia?
Every ten days or so, Emilia would be stuffed inside the Princess Room. Though Emilia wasn’t happy about it, she wasn’t so naughty as to let it show on her face.
But by now, she had already lost count how many times she had been put in here, not to mention that she’d just had a fight with Fortuna the night before. Most of all, she forgot to bring the doll that Fortuna had made for her, having left it in her bedroom, which proved to be the decisive blow.
[Emilia: I wanna go outside…]
It was but a passing murmur that no one was supposed to hear.
But, while Emilia didn’t say it to anyone she knew, “Those” who knew her had heard it loud and clear.
[Emilia: ――?]
Inside the hollow, in the room lit by the white glow of lagumite ores, there now mingled floating spots of pale-blue phosphorescence. She blinked as the sudden gushes of light captivated her attention.
Dancing before her eyes, the lights kept the young girl’s curiosity captive as they migrated to a corner of the Princess Room―― where they disappeared as if sucked into the wall.
[Emilia: ――――]
Standing up, Emilia tottered to the spot where the lights had vanished. She was a little scared, but even hotter curiosity burned inside her chest.
Standing before the wall that had sucked in the lights, Emilia reached out her hand as if to confirm the feel of the wood, and there, she found an opening just large enough for her little arm to fit through.
Just now, the pale-blue lights had escaped through that gap.
The front door of the Princess Room was bolted from the outside and couldn’t be opened from within. It was designed so that Emilia couldn’t escape even if she wanted to.
Thinking about it now, this treatment was definitely a bit too excessive to be considered normal, but Emilia, who took it for granted at the time, never questioned it.
However, now that she had discovered the possibility of escaping the place that should’ve been impossible to escape, Emilia’s heart vacillated between her curiosity and her mother’s instructions.
She wanted to know what everyone in the village was doing while she was gone.
Mommy Fortuna had taught her to strictly follow her instructions, and Emilia needed to stay here in the Princess Room until Fortuna came back for her.
But what if she tested out this escape route and, once she had a peek of what everyone was doing, sneaked back here?
Besides, it was the adults who first broke the rule not to lie and keep secrets.
If they broke one, and Emilia broke one as well, then wouldn’t they just be even?
[Emilia: ――――]
The little girl thought with all her might and came up with that little justification.
Taking a closer look at the hole she had stuck her arm into, it was one of the gaps between the tree’s tangled roots. If she put all her strength into it, she felt certain she could widen the gap, if only just a little.
Hinging on that feeling, young Emilia pushed away at the roots to secure a space large enough for her to pass through. Sweat dripped from her brows, and mud soiled her clothes. There was no way she could tell Fortuna “I didn’t do anything” now, but even so, the gap between the roots continued to grow until, at last, she succeeded in crawling outside.
[Emilia: ――――a]
A strange sense of accomplishment rose in Emilia’s chest as the outside breeze washed over her.
Even though she had just done something that would earn her a scolding if she were found out, she still felt the compelling urge to run up to Fortuna and brag “Ahhem, I did it”.
Of course, Fortuna would certainly go up in flames if she did that, so Emilia quickly stopped herself before she could start running. Whew, crisis averted.
But then again, Emilia thought,
――If she had followed her idiotic logic back then, gone to get praise from Fortuna, gotten vehemently scolded, cried and wailed and regretted it, and forgotten all about that gap in the tree roots, everything would’ve been so much better.
Because if she had done that, she would never have set the subsequent tragedy in motion.
――But what was that tragedy?
The question did not reach the young Emilia who had just escaped the Princess Room, now triumphantly dashing towards where everyone should be.
The realization that she was doing something naughty soon forced Emilia to sneak from cover to cover, and, thanks to the help of the micro-spirits, she got a vague sense of where everyone was.
Before long, Emilia found everyone gathered in the village square. While, alongside them, she saw a group of people in strange black costumes.
[Emilia: ――――]
Emilia hid herself behind a large tree before nimbly climbing up its branches. Sometimes, when little Emilia was feeling mischievous, she’d scamper from tree to tree like a little animal to make the adults jump around to catch her.
The acrobatics she learned from those activities now allowed her to watch over the conversation unseen.
The population of the Elven village numbered forty in all. And it seemed all the adults and children, aside from Emilia, were gathered there. The black-robes were fewer in number, with only about twenty members.
A few of them were in the middle of the assembly, participating in the discussion, while the rest were unloading luggage. The black-robes seem to have come here on wagons, and as they transferred their cargo to the villagers, the villagers’ faces would brighten while bowing their heads.
[???: ――We can’t thank you enough for the care you’ve always shown us]
What are they doing? What are they talking about?
Wondering this, Emilia wanted to lean out to see, when she heard a voice as close as a whisper against her ear.
She jerked back in surprise but saw no one around who could have been the source of that voice. Nevertheless, that voice undoubtedly belonged to Fortuna.
In fact, Fortuna was directly below Emilia―― speaking with a black-robed figure who seemed to be the leader of the group.
[Fortuna: Thank you for procuring these supplies for us that are so hard to come by in the forest, we’re glad for your help]
[Robed Man: You are too kind. It vexes us greatly that this is the only way we could repay you. We’re always laying burdens on you, Fortuna-sama]
[Fortuna: We could say the same as well]
Emilia could clearly make out the contents of their conversation and the wry smiles exchanged between them.
Fortuna’s gestures below her left no doubt that they were the ones talking this very moment. But somehow, it was as if Emilia’s sense of hearing was amplified.
This was actually the handiwork of the micro-spirits obeying Emilia’s will, but naturally, the young Emilia did not notice their diligence.
Standing in front of Fortuna was a man with bold features, garbed in a black robe.
His muscular physique and stature made him stand out among the mostly slender Elves. And so it was almost unimaginable that, despite his martial appearance, he would bow so low while interacting with Fortuna.
Seeing such an imposing man showing such unreserved respect towards Fortuna filled the peeking Emilia with pride.
To think, that the amazing person making this big man grovel was actually her mother.
[Robed Man: Now, I ask this every single time, but…… how is the seal?]
Emilia was puffing up her chest in her somewhat misdirected pride, but that sentiment instantly dispersed the moment the man changed the subject.
Such was the heaviness of the complex emotions imbued within that man’s words.
[Fortuna: I suppose I can’t just laugh it off as you worrying too much. Rest assured, it’s as stable as ever. There isn’t even a million-to-one chance it could come undone. ――I’d never be able to face my brother and sister-in-law, otherwise]
[Robed Man: It’s a terrible shame, about your older brother and his wife]
[Fortuna: ……My brother must certainly have been prepared. As for my sister-in-law, I’m not quite sure even now. But, I do understand the weight of the responsibility entrusted to me. I don’t intend to abandon it or treat it half-heartedly. I’m sure you feel the same?]
[Robed Man: I…… I have no choice in the matter. I’m afraid it’s not the same as the sense of duty and responsibility you bear, Fortuna-sama. Obsession, attachment…… it’d be something along those lines]
The man gave a breathy laugh as Fortuna watched him with a pained expression.
All the while, the meaning of their little exchange completely eluded the present Emilia.
――“It’s a terrible shame about your older brother and his wife”, what was that supposed to mean?
Fortuna’s brother was Emilia’s father. Then his wife would be the person he married. His bride. And Emilia’s mother.
“It’s a terrible shame”, what could that possibly mean? And when Fortuna heard this, why didn’t she ask any questions?
Hugging her branch tight, Emilia stretched out her neck and perked up her ears so she could hear their conversation more clearly. Unaware of the micro-spirits’ blessing and the fact that her gesture was completely pointless, Emilia desperately kept up that posture so as not to miss a single word.
[Fortuna: Motivations have nothing to do with the nobility of an action. What you are doing deserves to be praised by tens of thousands. It’s reeeaally unfortunate that it can’t become common knowledge]
[Robed Man: Hha, ahaha. I appreciate the words of comfort. But, it is impossible nonetheless. If our true intentions were revealed to the world, the presently-stable order would once again be plunged into chaos. I’m sure neither you nor I… least of all, her, would want to see this]
[Fortuna: ……Hm, I suppose not]
Fortuna agreed with a nod.
After that, the topic seemed to drift away from what Emilia wanted to hear, and their subsequent conversation consisted mainly of casual small talk.
While Fortuna and the man conversed, the rest of the group had finished distributing the cargo. One of the adults called to Fortuna, and Fortuna nodded in reply before turning back to the robed man.
[Fortuna: Thanks to the spirits’ protection, the changing seasons don’t have much of an impact on the forests…… but still, these clothes and blankets are a great help. Thank you]
[Robed Man: If only for your deeds, you and everyone here should deserve better than this. You shouldn’t be forced to live in such a place]
[Fortuna: What’re you calling “Such a place”? We love living in the forest, you know]
Saying this jokingly, a faint smile emerged on Fortuna’s face. The man also smiled in return as the two shared an amicable moment together.
And then,
[????: Archbishop-sama. The items have been transferred, we are ready to depart. Please make haste]
[Robed Man: Mmm, understood]
Hearing the black-robed figure’s report, the man reluctantly took one last look at the village. Then, he gave Fortuna a bow, while Fortuna and the other adults put their hands to their chests and bowed to the group of black-robes in response.
The man turned away to follow behind the departing wagon train―― but then, he halted,
[Robed Man: Right, there was one more thing I wanted to ask]
[Fortuna: …………]
The man turned around and lifted a finger, while Fortuna urged him to continue with her silence.
Seeing Fortuna’s attitude, for a moment, the man closed his eyes, before gazing into the depths of the forest,
[Robed Man: ――Emilia-sama, is she well?]
[Emilia: ――hk]
Hearing the man mention her name, Emilia unwittingly squeaked on the tree branch. But luckily, since she had just exhaled, it only came out as a little groan.
Fortunately, no one seemed to have heard it, and Fortuna only slowly nodded to the man’s question,
[Fortuna: She’s fine. Emilia is healthy, and growing up to be a good girl. A good girl who’s… more than I deserve. ……But, I’m sorry. I cannot let you meet her]
[Robed Man: That’s all I needed to hear. I understand. As long as Emilia-sama is safe and well, that’s more than enough. A sinner as I am, I don’t dare covet anything beyond that]
[Fortuna: …………]
Rather than self-deprecation, it sounded more like he was cautioning himself.
But either way, no easy words of comfort escaped Fortuna’s lips as she heard this.
The man looked up with an expression as if he was relieved by Fortuna’s silence. And, after a while of staring at each other without either of them breaking the stillness,
[????: Archbishop-sama, is something the matter? ――Archbishop Romanée-Conti-sama?]
Someone ran back from the party that had gone on ahead. Hearing his name, the robed man spread out his arms,
[Robed Man: Not at all. Well, I best be going. Fortuna-sama, I’ll see you soon]
[Fortuna: Thank you for everything, as always. ……And sorry, Geuse]
Faintly smiling at Fortuna’s parting words, the man she called Geuse rejoined the party as they gradually left the forest.
Seeing them off until the last of them was out of view, Fortuna dropped her shoulders with a sigh. Then, she clapped her hands, drawing the attention of everyone present onto herself,
[Fortuna: Now, let’s hurry and get everything distributed. Please share them out as usual. I’ll go fetch Emilia]
[Emilia: ――――!]
Seeing the adults and children proceeding to transport the goods as per Fortuna’s orders, Emilia practically flew down the tree and sprinted towards the Princess Room as fast as her legs could take her.
She squeezed her tiny body through the gap she’d used to escape, and despite getting cuts all over her skin, Emilia managed to get inside. But, once inside, she was horrified to realize that her wretched appearance looked nothing like that of a good girl who had obediently waited in her room.
Until recently, Emilia had thought that even if Fortuna discovered that she’d went outside and scolded her for it, she’d be forgiven if she apologized and sincerely reflected on her actions.
But, after hearing what she had just heard, that optimism had all but vanished. In fact, Emilia was certain that she had just heard something she was never supposed to hear.
[Emilia: What do I do, what do I do what do I do what do I do]
Mommy Fortuna could come back and unlock the door any moment now. One good look at her, and it wouldn’t take much to figure out that Emilia had sneaked outside.
If Fortuna found out that she had heard that conversation, it’d mean complete and utter ruin for the young Emilia.
[Emilia: At least, I’ve got to hide the scratches……]
There were cuts all over her skin, her knees and elbows were scraped, and some wounds were seeping with blood. There was no way those wounds could escape Fortuna’s sharp eyes, and just the thought of how they’d hurt in a bath was frightening.
She had to do something, but, just when she was immersed in that thought――
[Emilia: ――huh?]
――Emilia saw the pale-blue lights appear in the Princess Room once more, like a sign that she was saved.
The shining particles drifted in Emilia’s vision, captivating her consciousness with their movements before sprinkling onto her body.
[Emilia: ――a, aah]
Just like when they were sucked into the wall, the pale-blue lights sank into Emilia’s skin. As if attacking the young girl’s wounds, they gathered at the various scratches, staining the wounds white with their faint glow―― and, by the time the lights disappeared, only a vague redness remained where the cuts used to be.
[Emilia: ――――]
The inexplicable transformation of her body left Emilia petrified and speechless.
The painful wounds on her elbows, knees, and skin had vanished, and Emilia’s body was restored to the state before her escape.
Realizing this, Emilia took off her clothes and changed into a spare dress in the Princess Room. But then, the torn and shabby clothes she’d just taken became a problem,
[Emilia: I know……!]
Tipping over the bottles of colorful drawing ink, she smudged them all over her torn clothes. And when she had stained them so thoroughly that they could never be washed clean again,
[Fortuna: ――Emilia? Are you awake?]
She heard Fortuna’s voice outside the door and quickly straightened her back.
Feeling her heart violently pounding at the hair’s breath timing, she tried to give some kind of reply, but her throat couldn’t utter a sound.
[Fortuna: Emilia? Did you fall asleep?]
[Emilia: I, I’m up? I’m up, mommy Fortuna. It’s just, I……]
[Fortuna: Oh, so you are awake. Sorry for making you wait for so long……]
As if relieved to hear Emilia’s reply, Fortuna unlocked the door and entered the room. But the moment she walked in, Fortuna’s smile disappeared as she wrinkled up her pretty nose,
[Fortuna: ……What happened? Smells like ink in here]
[Emilia: Uhhm, sorry. I accidentally spilled all the paint…… I got it all over my clothes, too]
Looking at the toppled paint jars in the center of the room, then at the befuddled Emilia behind it, Fortuna held her palm to her face with [Ah gees…],
[Fortuna: Well, there’s no helping it now. Good thing we had spare clothes in here. Otherwise, I’ll have to carry you back naked, you know]
[Emilia: Um, mommy Fortuna…… I……]
[Fortuna: It’s alright, Emilia. There’s no need to be scared, I know you didn’t mean to, so I’m not angry at you. More importantly, are you hurt?]
Crouching down to match Emilia’s height, Fortuna looked her beloved daughter up and down just to be sure. And when she saw there were no obvious injuries, Fortuna spilled a relieved sigh and gently took Emilia into her embrace.
[Emilia: Mommy?]
[Fortuna: No, it’s nothing. I just…… reeaaally missed you, Emilia. I’m sorry. Just let me hug you for a little longer]
Keeping Emilia in her embrace, Fortuna pressed her cheek against Emilia’s.
Normally, Fortuna would always be too embarrassed to make such gestures of affection, so this was very rare for Emilia. Perhaps, it was an indication that Fortuna was truly worried.
And,
[Fortuna: ……such a little troublemaker]
Fortuna softly opened her eyes and muttered as, wrapped in her embrace, Emilia stroked her short silver hair.
But, without heeding Fortuna’s objection, Emilia went on caressing Fortuna’s hair to her heart’s content.
There were so many things she wanted to ask her.
But there was too much young Emilia didn’t know for her to form them all into words, and so, she went on without saying a word.
[Fortuna: Hey, Emilia]
[Emilia: ……hm?]
Watching as Emilia quietly stroked her head, Fortuna narrowed her eyes. Suddenly, in her amethyst eyes that were the same color as Emilia’s, a teardrop appeared.
In a blink of a moment, the teardrop rolled down and dripped off Fortuna’s cheek, but, without wiping it off, Fortuna only looked at Emilia, smiling,
[Fortuna: ――I love you, you know]
There were still so many things she wanted to ask.
――But, right now, those words from her mother was enough, she thought.
※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※ ※
Dragging her feet in the darkness with pale-blue lights drifting around her, Emilia continued on.
Exhausted, sapped of even the strength to walk, she could barely lift her feet off of the ground. But her still-persevering consciousness did not allow her to stop but only continue forward.
Memories from her childhood flashed across her mind.
But why was she remembering them now?
The past Emilia saw in her Trial was slightly different from the past she’d just remembered. The past she remembered was a bit earlier than the events shown in her Trials.
If somehow she could return to that time―― surely, everything would be different.
[Emilia: Mommy, Fortuna……]
Kind, warm, and strong, Fortuna was Emilia’s ideal woman, even now.
She wanted to grow up to be mommy Fortuna, to be just like mommy Fortuna. But every time she was faced with the slightest adversity she’d grow hesitant, vexed, and afraid until it resulted in an irredeemable end.
[Emilia: u……hgu……hk]
Whenever she thought about that irredeemable end, Emilia’s chest would be wracked by unendurable pain.
Sorrow, regret, and agony, overwhelmed by these tangled emotions, Emilia was brought to the verge of tears by her own stupidity, inadequacy, and shame.
Always. She’s always like this.
Frantically, desperately, unreservedly giving her all, Emilia would nevertheless fail to obtain what she truly wanted, or to even touch it.
Even the things she should have had, should have held safely in her hands, slipped through her fingers like sand, enchanting Emilia with their transient glimmer before vanishing into nothing.
Fortuna, Puck, Subaru, it was the same with all of them.
[Emilia: It’s all…… my fault. All because I’m… a bad girl… who couldn’t keep her word…… everyone……]
Sobbing under her breath, Emilia’s feet dragged on.
Amidst the thick, brambled green, sluggish and slow, she pressed on nonetheless.
[Emilia: Everyone tried to hide it from me…… hide it…… but, no. If I could’ve gone on without knowing, if I never learned of…… if I never found out, how much better that would be, and yet…… yet……]
In the forest. The pale-blue lights. The black-robed men. Mommy Fortuna. The giant Black Serpent. The closed door. The snow. The world of white. The world of silver-white. The end, the world that was ending. Father, mother.
[Emilia: Yet I……]
The endless maelstrom of words raced through her head.
Tossed and tormented in its wake, Emilia raised her head and pressed forward.
[Emilia: ――――]
With feeble voice. And faltering steps.
――But not a single drop of tear in her eyes.
-=Chapter 99 End=-
The sourc𝗲 of this content is free(w)ebnov(𝒆)l